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Do you have closer relationships with online than offline friends
Posted by stayfitbug • 8/09/09 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: friendship, internet, Online, relationships
Ever since the rise of the .com, i have met a lot of fantastic people online, personal and business. But back in the early days meeting people online was perceived as creepy by the offline world.
The internet is far more social and connected since these days, but even today that 'creepiness' is still some what present. But how many of you have formed online friendships with people who became even closer than those friends in the offline world?
User Comments
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It's true that the 'creepiness' is still present and you can't make this go away. But I have to say, that I got to know a few very good friends over the internet. -
Questions: Do you have closer relationships with online than offline friends .... how many of you have formed online friendships with people who became even closer than those friends in the offline world?
Answer: I too have met a lot of fantastic people online and I feel very close to some of them. But I haven't met them in person, and they are not closer to me than my offline friends and family are.-
Have any of them become part of the circle of your close offline friends/ family.
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I have found that with business relationships there is not much of a creepiness at all. But with personal there is. With dating it's present for sure. But the argument online people would have with offline people was.' Well, unlike a club or a bar, you get to meet their personality first... that has to be better...right?'
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Well, unlike a club or a bar, you get to meet their personality first... that has to be better...right?'
Not necessarily. They could be projecting a false persona either intentionally or non-intentionally. Near to 80% of all human communication is non-verbal. In person to person meetings we strongly rely on non-verbal clues to verify verbalizations and create a bond of trust.
Online all we have is words. In the absence of sensory input and verification online we can believe we know someone well when we really don’t actually know them at all. How this happens is easily explained; we tend to create the missing data with our imagination. Yes, we fantasize and we can easily make huge mistakes.
When we communicate with others online we judge them to be “friend” or “foe” not only based on private information and opinions they share, but also on the fantasies about them that we create between our ears.
References:
Blogging: Online presence and authenticity
onecoolsite.wordpress.com/2009/06/30/blogging-online-presence-and-authentic...
Internet relationships: When the walls fall down
thistimethisspace.com/2009/04/26/internet-relationships-when-the-walls-fall...
I know a person who had an online relationship with a man she was very interested in. She took a vacation, a side trip associated with a business trip, to meet him and didn't tell him she was coming. Well, "he" turned out to be a "she". -
TT - I'm one of those VERY rare people who is unable to read other people's physical clues.
I have a touch of Asperger's. So that makes me unable to read visual clues that people broadcast. So meeting a person online or in a club or anywhere - for me - is about the same.
I can smell things tho - in people. I've found this to be almost 100% fool proof for me:
Sounds strange - but I can tell when someone has an internal infection or is sick - I can smell it.
And some chemical imbalances are also "smellable" to me.
I can smell some chemicals like drugs - but have a hard time with alcohol (whiskey is smellable - but vodka is not).
But - if I smell a person - and they smell off to me - generally there is something wrong with them - that doesn't cross with my personality.
I've never done a study on it - nor have I really mentioned it to anyone - I had a discussion on it with Monell Inst. But they pretty much don't want olfactory abnormalities that they cannot deal with.
LOL!
But For me - instead of reading people - LMAO _ I smell them.
(Don't think I run around sniffin' peoples either... LOL!)
Just if I like someone enough to where I might want to envelope them into a circle of friendship with me - I do get close enough to them to inhale the odors around them before I make that FINAL determination.
Strange as that seems - I find that it has worked 100% for me.
People that I somehow found to be slightly offensive on the inhale - they have generally turned out to be people who are either untrustworthy or just "totally" off.
However - on that note - I also find that people online - there are 3 types:
Totally themselves.
Totally NOT themselves - being whoever they want to be to make themselves happy.
Totally themselves but pretending to be something else- doing things that are destructive (pretending to be something to entrap others, trolls, evil people who trap peeps and or rape/murder/etc.)
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No, I have met a lot of wonderful people online, but my closest friends are the ones I see on a regular basis. -
Woah @timethief...a she
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I talk about more stuff to people online than I do to my friends. But I don't consider my online friends closer-
not even me?
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Well, when you murdered me, things went south.
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One teeny tiny murder and you hold it over my head forever!
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I have meet a lot of nice people online but my best friends are those I see everyday. However, I would like to make a best friend online and hope to meet her/him offline someday.-
I have that...i've got some online friends i've had for years. Only time will tell if we ever do meet up.
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I have no friends online or off. I hate everybody.
(Just kidding.)-
Thats actually not a bad life...a dog would be a great replacement of the human kind.
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Yes, dogs are great. Inanimate objects too. They have no opinions.
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Unibomber alert!
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I have some close friends I met via blogging, met up with a bunch of them.
They are not closer than other friends, bit still important to me. -
Yes, I married someone online in a cyber chapel and he made me pregnant with twins. Now we're gonna have imaginary 'innernet' kids. We're very close although we've never met each other in the flesh.
People tell me I'm delusional but I don't think so.-
I took two courses in psychology in college and you're definitely not insane. In fact you probably have the best relationship of anybody here.
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I think everyone has taken 2 psychology classes in college.
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Thanks np. I think people are just jealous of me and my innernet husband.
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Whoa, whoa, hold on for a second ... offline friends? Is this for real?-
Yeah it's for real, you read the headline.
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I've formed friendships sure, but only with the personality that online person chooses to portray. I don't know anything about them really... -
Ok. So we all can agree that you can have
- Online friends
- Not closer than offline friends
- But mainly keep them as online friends
Now how about your views on Facebook. Because that has started to change a few things. Real names and all. -
yes, in a sense and no, in a sense. my two dearest friends are both living out of town now so the internet allows a closer friendship than we could have otherwise. I've got them both on my cellphone now so we have unlimited phone and text but before that we used IM and email to chit chat because it was cheaper than long distance calls. -
There is a mental connection which is somewhat limited and awkward? -
As TT pointed out, 80% non-verbal. Also, the ease with which an online connection can be severed is the best and worst part of online relationships. Without a physical connection, they can neither impose on nor assist with your daily activities. A friend who wants your time or money is annoying, indeed, but even being annoyed can act as a bond. -
NO, I haven't. -
I don't think any online friendship will ever amount to more than my offline friendships. It just ain't the same. Online friends won't be there to have my back when things get out of hand and fists start flying, online friends aren't there to carry me and throw my ass into my house when I'm dead drunk, online friends can't be wing men in the club or at a party, online friends won't be there when I really need help with something in the physical world. It's not the same.
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Did any online friends become solid offline friends? It does happen for sure.
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Another scenario is when you meet an online friend that knows or is close to one of your offline friends. The rules possibly change then.
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I have people I've met online - that are now my LONG TERM friends.
So - it can happen.-
Same here
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I agree! I am finding I am closer to some people here than people I actually see!
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Hmm...what is it that we can then assume the reasons for this are. For being closer to those online than offline. I have thoughts, but what are yours?
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It's easier for most people to be honest about their character on the internet than in person, especially when they are unsure of how their offline friends will react to a revelation about their character. This usually does not apply to me, but did at least once, quite recently. -
I've met some really awesome people online as well - many who have become close enough to meet in real life.
But closer than my offline friends that I hold near and dear to me? No way!-
God damn it! I wants to be you bbff or whatever you say over there..
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There is really no barrier between what i feel towards friends offline and online. Proof: I met most of them in person and we still chat online lol.I also make sure that my friends offline should have an online account so i can talk to them on daily basis. because most of the time what we talk offline we continue that online.-
My prime scenario
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Ahhh a new spam person to duel with....
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Not closer, because proximity does really make a difference in communication. But I absolutely do consider them friends, and appreciate them.
Online interaction has been really enriching!-
I agree, there are definitely online friends that I would probably be closer to if we go out for pint or cup of coffee regularly.
Or I would find out they are totally nuts and thanks heavens for that ocean
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Could go either way, of course. But I've had that happen with folks in off-line life, too.
As you already wear a bra on your head in public, the bar for sanity has been set kinda low, though. -
Hey! I have only worn it in public upon my head a few times!
and yes you are quite correct about offline folks too, they can slip through the filtering net sometimes.
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Ah yes. Crazy people offline and online. I guess we are all still human regardless of either scenario.
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