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Do you have to love a person to enjoy sex?
Posted by Adal • 6/08/09 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: love
I think it can either go together or not, and you can enjoy it equally...at least myself.
User Comments
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it depends on ur mutual agreement-
That's the first rule...
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no, attraction is the first rule.
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nope. -
No -
Yes, if you want to 'make love' rather than just sex.. and feel the real depth of romance, meaning of loved and be loved and romeo-juliet-like feeling. Surely physical and emotion, both combined.
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it's a plus. -
Not at all. I've had it both ways. Both have been very fun. -
No, but in my experience, it's always been better when it was with someone I loved. Still very enjoyable either way -
Depends on the individual's view of sex, their value system, the situation (are they drunk, being coerced, etc). I would presume that many (most? I can't speak for most.) find sex better with someone they love, that includes me. I think that adds a, for want of a better term, spiritual component to the act. -
No -
Sex and love are two different things. One is physical, the other emotional. Together they're great, but you can enjoy them apart. -
The person you're with... or the person you're thinking about?-
As Freud said: When two people are having sex, there are really 4 people in the room. The two people having sex, and the two people they are thinking about.
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That's absolutely true but about 98% of women in the world, and definitely on this board would flat out deny it - even the ones with husbands. -
Of course you don't have to love someone to enjoy sex.
But it's ten times better if you do.
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That's a dumb question. It's like asking if a milkshake makes you fat, can you still enjoy it? You are asking the wrong question. The right question is "Should you have sex with a person with whom you are not married? I bet you know the answer to that one. The Bible talks about "enjoying the pleasures of sin for a season." Sex is one of life's pleasures, but outside of marriage can cause a world of hurt and sorrow and trouble and pain. Did I mention Guilt? That, too! Having sex and drinking milkshake are two thing miles apart. You might get by with the shake--not likely on the other unless married.-
You have to be married to love someone?that's news to me.
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And where does the Bible speak of love and marriage in the same sentence?
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I am married now, but have had plenty of relationships and sexual partners before I was married. I don't recall any hurt, sorrow, trouble or pain...or guilt. I do remember having a lot of fun.
Sex is fun and you shouldn't feel guilty about having it whether you're married or not. As long as you have consenting adults, then go for it. Like I said it's fun. It also reduces stress and gives you a workout.-
where do i find the emoticon that claps its' hands. I'd like to give you 5 of them.
"Whatever 2 or more consenting ADULTS do in their spare time is ok by me"
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No. I enjoyed sex with my husband and towards the end of our relationship, I loved him not. -
I'm not really crazy about my left hand....
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Try your right. You might like her (him?) better.
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Sometimes I get really wild and use both!
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a little change up can be nice... but my right is a bit more callussy
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put a glove on (your hand).
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why not just do the glove
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The finger holes are too small.
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I was thinking elbow-length
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Ha!
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nopes, don't think so... you can still enjoy and have good time I guess
though I do love my bf, and I do think it will be better with someone you love. -
I think a relationship is better with someone you love, someone you can talk to. But sexual pleasure is weird, and sometimes it's more, and sometimes less exciting, with someone you feel really close to.-
Absolutely. In fact, for me is more exciting with someone new which I don't love. Just fun.
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No... but you gotta enjoy sex to love a person...-
that's the other way around...
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I can't speak for anybody else,but I know I do-
Thank God there are still people like you.
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I'm thinking god the problem in this particular case.
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No, but you do have to love a person to enjoy or feel any dignity in the month afterwards. -
lol no,
but it can get weird later, if they think you do. -
Nope. -
i can say it in yes because i could not say lie -
People who don't even love themselves have sex with themselves!-
way overboard!
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Love is so much more meaningful than sex. A sex without love is only a lust. It is cheap and cares only for itself.-
I agree that you do not have to love a person to enjoy the sex. But without respect and love no intimacy is possible and that's the best part. So without those two sex is merely an act that leads to orgasm, and as petlvr has pointed out one doesn't need a partner for that.
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Having sex with love is fulfilling. Sex without love is just plain dull. -
no -
I must love that person so madly so that I could have a clear conscience.-
What??
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Ahem, what I meant, is that even though sex itself is enjoyable, It would not feel right if after the deed is done after a one night stand...........because there isn't any genuine feelings between both parties in the first place, it's just satisfying a base need.
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this is interesting, i never thought i would ever have an astronaut ask me that XD -
You can have sex out of love.
You can have sex because it's fun.
Anyone who has done both will know that one is very different from the other. You won't have sex with a one night stand the same way you do with a partner you've been with for 5 years.
I always hear people say 'I can't enjoy sex without love'. That's bullshit. If you say that you either haven't tried it or tried it with the wrong person.
Wrong person? Yes, just because there doesn't have to be love doesn't mean there doesn't have to be a connection of some sort. -
Comparing two different things. Sex is a physical act. Being in love involves your whole being not just your genitals. -
Ditto. -
Gosh darnit. That cosign was meant for tigerx. And it wouldn't hurt to distinguish between like and love. Sex can be awesome with someone you like but don't love - but probably a lot less awesome with someone you don't like... Which begs the question ... Why bother with someone you don't like? But "love" does not have to be present for very enjoyable sex.
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I have been with the same woman for so long I wouldn't be able to separate love and sex. I have a beautiful and loving wife. I would be devastated if I ever lost her. The sex is phenomenal. -
don't need love for anything if you don't want to
and sex can still be really good if there's chemistry
but what do I know... only 16 haha -
No. IMO, the most enjoyable sex (though not always) are one night stands. The idea that anything goes, there's no embarrassment, you're free to do your dream sex positions. With a boyfriend or a husband, its soooo predictable.-
This, pretty much. Relationships get boring. That's why most people cheat on their partner.
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Depends on the people and the situation. -
I would say yes you do, but then everyone is different. -
me love u long time! -
My wife -
Yes. Otherwise you're better off going jogging vertically than horizontally.
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Absolutely NOT!!!!!!!!!!!
I doubt a hooker's john loves her, yet I am sure he enjoys himself! -
yyesss
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Since it can help you to relax (after you kicked a cat, read other discution), it doesn't matter, as long as it is with mutual agreement, and both parties have the same expectations (or lack thereof).
Orgasms lead to a happier life -> www.sana-life.net/2009/01/orgasms-lead-to-a-happier-life/ -
No I believe that sex and love can go hand-in-hand or be mutually exclusive. Sex can be a physical manifestion of your love for another person or it just be a itch that needs to be scratched so to speak. You don't need one to have the other. Of course both parties need to be on the same page about it because you can get yourself into a lot of trouble if others have different expectations of the relationship. -
It makes me want to vomit when people act like wimps and say making love is soooo fulfilling and romantic, mentally stimulating blah blah blah! PUKE PUKE PUKE!
Granted I have felt a bit crappy doing one-night stands after shagging a few slappers, but guys... grow some balls!
Shagging someone you love has it's benefits and shagging random people definitely has more benefits!-
Yes, especially when you get an STD or HIV from diddling one too many. You also get tired of the hunt as you grow older.
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Speak for yourself... I haven't got one bit more tired of the hunt from the age of 9 till now.
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Do I have to love a person to enjoy sex?
No.
But if I enjoy a person I can love sex. -
Of course you have to love the person unless you are "cover the face fire the base" type. -
yes
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Nature added great pleasure to sex to make sure we do it and procreate future generations. No amount of love would make people do it without great pleasure added. Sex and love is two entirely different things. -
no and i proved that saturday night
lol-
How you doin?
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yes, sex is very emotional based. I have to love the person to be "IN" to it. -
No not really. It depends on your take on sex. For me, it's an artform that has to be mastered and taken up a notch each time until everything is explored and figured out. I have actually had better sex with someone I did not love because they shared that mindset than I did with someone I did love.
I suppose for some it's about feelings, some it's about procreation, some it's a passtime and for others like myself it's a heightened state of awareness and almost spiritual if don right.-
there are also those of us who may just like sex but are very selective. Love does not automatically equal a less promiscuous person, I can count my partners on half of one hand, yet know women who are in love with the idea of being in love and give it up to anyone who makes them feel special. I also know f*ckbuddies who are monogamous and have been with eachother for years and serial daters who could fill up stadiums. Love is a subjective term
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Nope...just love yourself enough to protect yourself against those who don't care about themselves. Sex is what you make it out to be...and if you choose to be one who only gives it up for love...I respect you....if your one who gives it up because you like sex...join millions of others who feel the same way. -
yes
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But, why necessarily?? I really want to hear you out.
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yes. as long as you like the person. -
I only have sex with myself these days.-
Whoa!!
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That sucks.
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you should understand the difference between love and lust, sex is more enjoyable if you love your partner,-
I have my girlfriend and I love her, but I remember how exciting were the times when I had sex with just a friend or someone new. I think that's only your point of view. I don't agree.
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Have you had sex in space?
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Hi, I have had lots of one night stands over the years that I enjoyed tremendously. Sex feels good - or you are not doing it right. Some of the most uninhibited sex I have ever had has been with folks I never intended to see again - or even have breakfast with... Sex with someone you love has a spiritual component that is wonderful. But casual sex - even annonymous sex can be fabulous. As for God, he/she gave us the equipment, I think we were meant to enjoy it. I have never had any real hangups about sex. No guilt, no angst, no regrets... but that is just me - we are all made differently. What works for me may not work for you...-
Indeed!!! YOU THINK JUST LIKE ME!! Well, one night stands are terribly dangerous if you don't have serology test results at hand!!! It's like playing with fire every day. I admit, the adrenaline rush is great!!! Like all good things in life, the sweeter things tend to be the most dangerous.
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Much of my "play" was in the years before aids became such a part of our world. It was terrible of me not to mention the fact that safe sex is always a MUST. (That's what comes from being an "old timer" - my mind goes back to the 60s 70s and 80s). Life has indeed become more complex. I do believe that it is still possible to have casual sex and stay within the bounds of safe sex - a bit more complex, perhaps, and one should keep the danger in mind and act accordingly... I have been in a longterm relationship for 17+ years now and find it very satisfying with no yearning at all for outside "interests". The question changes entirely when one becomes involved in a relationship, and depending on what type of relationship. I was married once to a man who had sex with other men with my knowledge and I had open sex with women - Again, before Aids. My current relationship is completely exclusive and I would not compromise it for any reason.. There are lots of variables to consider.
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no.. yet not.. -
nowadays, you can enjoy sex with love or without love.. -
Once you marry, it's best to do it with one person to avoid complications like divorce.
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Love, no. trust? Yes. it's very hard to enjoy sex if you don't trust the person you're having sex with.
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Gotta say I don't agree there....Sex...good sex is good sex. I've had sex with people I totally dispise, don't trust or even like as a person and had an awesome time. -
How were you able to let yourself into such a vulnerable state of being with someone you don't trust at all? How were you able to let go with reckless abandon if you didn't trust the person?
I won't even leave a public space with someone I don't trust, never mind go to a private room, strip down naked, and get intimate.
I mean, if you don't trust him, how do you know he will stop if you need him to? How do you know that he doesn't have a communicable disease or STD - you can't trust what he says. How do you know that he won't take what you've done (or has a camera running that you don't know about) and post it all over the internet, maybe even costing you your job? How do you know that - in the event of a contraceptive meltdown, he will help you out if you get pregnant?
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No...sex is physical... If a perfect stranger whom you have no affection for or long term interest in tried to softly make love to you...you might get a little annoyed...so this is a two-way street.
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I would never have sex with someone I despise. That sounds like the philosophy of a hooker.
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yes
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Not if you're only watching.
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Only enough to enjoy the sex.
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