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Do You Think Black Women Have a Bad Rep?
Posted by lotusb • 8/25/09 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: black women
Over the weekend I went to a local club here in Houston, with the man I'm currently seeing. We stepped inside and immediately knew it wasn't our scene. The venue had changed recently (new management) and now it was kind of a sleazy, half full club with nothing by a huge dance floor and very few places to sit....
Anyway, so we go to the bar to get drinks. While sipping on our very strong beverages we took in the scene. To the left of us was a group of about 10 or 12 black women between the ages of 21 and 30. They were wearing outfits that hardly covered their personal bits. They had their palms on the floor, ass up gyrating to the music. I simply thought this was funny until one girl and her two friends made their way over to my man and I. She stood unnecessarily close to him, to the point that I thought she knew him and was going to say "hello". Then she started shaking her ass in front of him as if she had no where else to stand in the empty club. I would have been offended if I wasn't so drunk.
This isn't the first time I've encountered this scene. And I notice it more from Black women than any other race. My own people, whom I love and am proud to be. But scenes like this make me feel embarrassed that this is the only way some black women can think to have fun. And in the end, it gives people another reason to think "we" are stupid.
What do you think?
User Comments
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I think it has less to do with race and more to do with the type of crowd that club attracts in general
Believe you me - beer sluts come in all shades and sizes -
I know this is typical drunk behaivior of most people in general. But I grew up with Black people. It dosen't matter the venus...this scene is typical among Black women...I've seeen it at school, family reunions...the bus stop.
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I just haven't seen that sort of truly raunchy behavior outside of certain venues/events/groups of people, regardless of race.
*shrug*
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Bad woman have bad rep. -
I agree with Anok, not about race.-
I know the PC answer is that it's not about race. But what I see is, Black women are portrayed as sexual things in the media and so many of them seem to want to follow that image. I don't see this problem among other races as much as Blacks.
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I don't do pc, I told you what I think based on my experience and I have seen the same type of behaviour during my clubbing days in the northeast of England and in clubs in London. It isn't about race, its about the kind of place you went to, what is expected in a place like that regardless.
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The clubs and bars in the Northwest of England are just the same.
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Being a frequent traveler to Jamaica I see it all the time. However, I think in Jamaica its more a part of their culture than in the states. People are daggerin with people all over the place at clubs and they finish dancing, and go on their way. It doesn't mean a thing.
I DO, however, think if the man's woman is WITH him and the dancer girl can obviously SEE that....she's WAAAY overstepping her boundaries. No question. -
I live in latin america and I can tell it depends on the crowd. In clubs that arent the most classy joints you see packs of really young girls basically doing the same, and waiting to be picked up by random guys. so in conclusion i dont think its about race-
Agreed.
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I'm afraid I can't really make an intelligent comment on your question. I don't club here in South Africa, and although I have a number of black female friends, I find it very difficult to imagine them behaving in such a way, even if they were drunk.
In the States, when I went clubbing, it was mostly to C&W bars, which had a low turnout of black people. So, I really haven't seen that kind of behaviour among black women.
White women, on the other hand...my late husband, who was big, tall, gorgeous, and a fabulous dancer,,,was actually asked to dance by another woman in the club (a stranger) while he and I were sharing a barstool and he had his arms around my waist!
I think cheek comes in all colours. -
People are People in my book, I don't categorize by race, color etc -
i will have to agree with the majority on this one and say that the behavior you encountered was not a race exclusive thing. I have encountered many sluttiennas in many different skin colored suits.
BUT I will say, as a side note, we black women often have a "bad rep" as you put it. Well maybe I wouldnt use the word "bad" but I will say a "misguided" rep.
I have often encountered people of all races including black men, who have certain misguided and sometimes unfair ideas about us...
and even when I try to explain that clumping ALL black women (or any group for that matter) into one catagory is like trying to hold a fist full of water, it goes on deaf ears......
but in the idea of fairness, I will also have to include that SOME black women DO NOT HELP FURTHER THE CAUSE OF RACE ENLIGHTENMENT because they fall into certain catagories that help to propel the myths that tarnish our rep-
That was really all I was getting at. I suppose my mention of my last encounter being at a club didn't help my case. Of course club behaivior isn't the "norm" per say and it applies to anyone. The bottom line is I get jusdge before I even speak in certain environments because of the "image" put out by the loudest ones.
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Man-woman, black-white, Christian-Muslim, poet-plumber. Everything depends on the individual.-
i wish that were true. while ideally everything should depend on the individual, we all know that our society is riddled with generalizations and stereotypes.
Some of us are more aware and dont succumb to being ignorant in that way, but there is a vast # of people who only see whats on tv, only hear what thier parents taught and therefore have to generalize everything and everyone else because of thier lack of awareness of the outside world. -
Roscoe-you're absolutely right. Stereotype and generalization prevail in society as a whole. But, like you, I believe that is not the true way of seeing things or people.
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couldn't agree more with you both.
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Lotus, do you think it's possible that this is a self-esteem issue? Women of all races who lack self-esteem and who have been sexualized early and perhaps in inappropriate ways behave this way, as they think being sexy is where their "power" or "value" lies. Do you think it's possible that because of economic and cultural issues, those problems are more prevalent among black women?-
I know you were addressing Lotus but being a black women I figured I could answer too.
It's really an individual thing. People of all socio economic backgrounds shake their asses regardelss of their position within society. Low self esteem does not make you become an ass shaker, neither does high self esteem. We are all individuals with individual personalities no matter where we live and what color we are. -
I agree that this kind of behavior crosses all economic and cultural lines, but I absolutely DON'T agree that low self-esteem doesn't trigger it. It may not be the only thing that does, but I'm not even sure about that. Generally, I think that women who think they have more to offer the world than vulgarity don't tend to walk around telegraphing a proposition to the world.
I'm hoping Melinda will weigh in on this. -
I said in my previous post....
"Low self esteem does not make you become an ass shaker, neither does high self esteem."
Yes, of course low self esteem plays apart in any sexually based attempts at attention. My point is that Black Women are not the only one's influence by low or high self esteem as it pertains to ass shaking.
Melinda is a great resource. I've found her opinions very valuable especially because I'm a psych. major myself:) -
Being sexy and acting sexy=low self-esteem. Why?
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I think its sexier to KNOW you're sexy without having to flaunt it.
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Fine, if that's how you feel. But I don't think it's necessarily a sign of insecurity or low self-esteem if somebody likes to flaunt it. Different strokes for different folks.
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NP, I don't think research backs you up on that. Sexual "acting out" is a fairly predictable symptom of girls/young women who have certain issues in their backgrounds.
LSK, I agree (again) that this occurs in all races. I haven't personally seen it reflected more in any one than another. I was responding to the OP's comment that she had experienced this as being more prevalent among black women. -
Madame X-Research used to bear out that gay people were gay because of all kinds of childhood trauma. Researchers find what they're looking for. I worked and studied as a therapist for a number of years and read a great deal into the process of how psychological researchers come to their conclusions about so-called abnormal human behavior. Arbitrary would be a polite word to characterize it.
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So then you think it's entirely random, for instance, that such a high percentage of prostitutes were sexually abused as children?
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We're not talking about prostitutes. We're talking about women (people) who like to dress and act sexy. Extreme examples do not prove the rule.
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yes bad women do have a bad rep because most people don't see the "do right sisters" they see the girls you met at the club and many choose to judge a whole fleet of women based on this.
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so true LolitaV!
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Wow, I'm a black woman, grew up in Philly and have went to clubs bars and parties. I've been around all types of people and there have been many " ass shakers". I never consider that it was a "black thing". I just assumed that you shake your ass at these types of events. Some shake it nasty, some shake it hard, and some shake it just a little bit. Now if they were shaky asses in the market or at the the dentist office then maybe I would consider it a problem. lol!
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LOLOL I don't know why but I had to laugh out loud at the ass shaking at the dentist LMAO!!!!
Anyways probably its noticed as a black thing because most white girls are no good at ass shaking LOL. -
You need to come to Philly, because these white girls can shake their asses too! lol! I went to a country music club a few weeks back and my, my, my I had to go home and revaulate my own ass shaking skills lol!
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I can actually shake with the best of them, I'm exposed to that dance style regularly. I just choose not too so much. I'm 36 LOL....
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Poppy Cock! Age is nothing but a number... ask my ass shaking granny lol!
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LOL @ poppycock!!!! That's cute.
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Because of 'Rap Music' Black women do get a bad rep. Sure there's sex in 'Rock n' Roll' but White women don't get degraded like Black women.-
Rap Music? So I'm going to be degraded because of rap music? It hasn't happened yet. I better watch out lol!
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exit what do you mean rap music degrades black women??? rap music degrades everyone with a vagina. Calling ALL women bitches and let me tell you that last time I checked, the star "video models" were mainly Latinas and bi-racial women.
And as far as RNR not degrading white women, I beg to differ. -
Exit...I agree, that rap music has taken a hand in degrading women. A lot of songs that are made put women in the place of sex objects. As for the music videos...well that in my opinion is women degrading THEMSELVES.
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Black women are every bit as awesome and human as everybody else.-
Cosign!!! I think black women are stunningly beautiful and strong people!
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I agree ...that's why I hate it that they get degraded in music.
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Well then they should talk to the rap artists about that. IMO the only black women degraded in rap music are the ones who portray and perpetuate the image.
There are PLENTY strong black artists who are positive images too...because they CHOOSE to be. -
Lol...if you guys don't think I know that your crazy. I said SOME black women are creating a standard that is undesirable. I am not one of those women and I think I as a black woman am totally beautiful and awesome.
No argument there.
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It has nothing to do with race, believe me I have been in clubs all white, all hispanic, mixed crowds...it doesn't matter. If a woman is with her friends she seems to be a little more aggresive just to show off anyways. Then add some alcohol to the mix...Plus women in a club ...are looking for something. It is a personality thing and nothing with race. -
I wouldn't put it entirely down to it being black women, but within each race there are always those who will continue to perpetuate the negative stereotyping ... as did these 'ladies'.
It could have been a result of the type of clientele that bar catered to now or it could have been them. -
I don't know if bad rep is the right phrase... it's would be a bad rep if say a handful killed kittens for example, that is not a "type" that can be found everywhere, so if people said "black women kill kittens" it would be unfair and thus a bad rep. Like LotusB said, I have also seen this happen on army bases, in highs chool, at dances, at barbeques, in bars, even at the grocery store a few times (those incidents puzzled me a bit) and of those scenarios, they were different neighborhoods of different states with different standards of living. I can't say it's a bad rep since it seems to be a fairly common occurance (at least up and down the east coast)... I would say it's more a bad decision to emulate negative stereotypes then a bad rep. Does that make sense? Each race has has them, there is no denying it.Stereotypes become stereotypes for a reason.. frequent occurrence -
Its not about race, each race has there select few that does the samething, but I understand about the and being black as a whole seems to grant stereotypes of this nature. -
I can tell you the same story with pretty much any ethnic group at any place in this country. It's too bad in this country we have this 'black' America and 'white' America.
When Mylie Cyrus was criticized over poll dancing on the Teen Choice Awards, I never heard anyone say 'she gives white girls in this country a bad rap' it was 'she gives girls' or 'will she influence'.
Life is like High School. Within every school is your jock, your nerd, your hot guy and girl. With every social or racial group, you'll have the same thing; the smart, the funny, the dirtbag, the ho.
We are one America People! One gyrating whore does not make an entire race bad! Now someone help me find my stilettos!-
No where in my initial statement did I say that the entire Black race was bad.
Thanks. -
True, my apologies, my thoughts are a reflection of how some people in this country feel not your statement at all.
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It's because they are better at sports -
I was just on a train home and there were two white girls sitting near me wearing not very much obviously on their way out for the evening. When the girls stood up to get off the train and arranged their clothes after having been sat down I was surprised to see them hitch their (very short) skirts up rather than pulling them down (like most people would). That's pretty typical of the way a certain type of young woman behaves and I don't think that race has very much to do with it.
But I've never seen black British women behave that way. Perhaps it's just the black women I've known, but now I think about it I can't remember ever seeing black women behave with as little class as white women frequently seem to (in Britain anyway). -
As a fellow black woman, I can tell you it's not a black thing. Some of these women are just poorly behaved.
Funny, my blog is about our reps, check it out sometime and let me know what you think.
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