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TheBigRuski

Elton John Dies in Rocket Ship

Posted by TheBigRuski • 7/16/08 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: artists, internet, music, Rock and Roll, spam, spam email, spam headlines

At work, we recently got this email spam headline:

Elton John Dies in Rocket Ship

So, being the dudes that we are, we went spinning on this and came up with more rock star death headlines:

John Mellencamp Crushed by Pink House

Jon Bon Jovi Found Shot Through the Heart

Bob Dylan Flattened by Rolling Stone

Oh, yes...I have more...but this is just to start the ball rolling...go ahead, give it a whirl!

Note: Most of you know that spam headlines take all kinds of approaches to get you to open up the email and click.

User Comments

7/16/08

weblogian

What???????

[reply]
7/16/08

TheBigRuski

Don't be shy...

Here's 2 more:

Otis Redding Found Floating Under Dock by the Bay

Ringo Starr Dies in Yellow Submarine

[reply]
1. 7/16/08
  
  weblogian
  
  can we know who is sending this.
2. 7/16/08
  
  TheBigRuski
  
  Where I work, we get tons of spam email that we have to manually delete every day. This is nothing new in the way of spam headlines...we just someday want to do a feature on "Bizarre Spam Headlines".
3. 7/18/08
  
  DeadRooster
  
  Why must everyone die?
7/16/08

weblogian

I have many ways for those spammer. Lately no spam mail, these days.

[reply]
7/16/08

TimMc

Good Stuff TBR!

How about "Eric Clapton was Shot by the Sheriff Earlier Today"

[reply]
1. 7/16/08
  
  TheBigRuski
  
  Getting there!
7/16/08

Nomadic

How about: Penis enlargement will improve your life

Tis the type of spam I seems to get.

[reply]
1. 7/16/08
  
  TheBigRuski
  
  Didn't want to go there...we get a lot more unique ones than the one you mention...I chose this topic because it was a bit less vulgar.
2. 7/16/08
  
  Nomadic
  
  Apologies for being so base - I shall vacate the room
3. 7/16/08
  
  TheBigRuski
  
  No apologies needed!
4. 7/16/08
  
  Nomadic
  
  No you are right. I get carried away sometimes. I blame the wine. And the ungodly hour. I should be in bed.
5. 7/16/08
  
  TheBigRuski
  
  Where are you? (And what's your sign?)
6. 7/16/08
  
  Nomadic
  
  Eh? Rural Hertfordshire, England. You can guess my sign I am sure....
7. 7/16/08
  
  TheBigRuski
  
  I'm not into astrological signs...I was teasing.
8. 7/16/08
  
  Nomadic
  
  Sorry. I'm English. Pretty straightforward. I am also off to bed. Night night.
9. 7/16/08
  
  TheBigRuski
  
  Bloody well, then!
7/16/08

weblogian

Last week a got a email proposal from Africa asking to find them a house for them as they cannot live due to many crisis in their country. I told them i could only trust them if they rang me up. I gave the public phone no that hangs near our cyber cafe. So he rang me up the next day.

I told him at the end to visit my blog to equip himself more to effective spamming and frauds
Then he hung up.

[reply]
1. 7/16/08
  
  TheBigRuski
  
  Too funny!
7/16/08

TimMc

James Taylor killed by Steamroller

[reply]
1. 7/16/08
  
  TheBigRuski
  
  Decent!
7/16/08

TimMc

Gordon Lightfoot dies in the shipwreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald

[reply]
7/16/08

TimMc

The Doobie Brothers drowned in Black Water

Okay, I'm done for now...

[reply]
1. 7/16/08
  
  TheBigRuski
  
  That would be "Doobie Brothers Drown in Black Water"
2. 7/16/08
  
  TimMc
  
  Thanks for correcting me (I'm an editor, hahaha).
7/16/08

aningeniousname

comment removed by the community.

[reply]
7/16/08

GrayFoxDown

Robert Di Niro Struck By Taxi

[reply]
1. 7/16/08
  
  TheBigRuski
  
  Rock stars!
7/16/08

GrayFoxDown

Danny DiVito Also Struck By Taxi

[reply]
1. 7/16/08
  
  TheBigRuski
  
  Rock stars! It's a lyrical/song tie-in!
2. 7/18/08
  
  roastfrog
  
  Unoriginal but...
  "Joni Mitchell hit by Big Yellow Taxi"
  --> Perhaps this one would be more to your liking?
7/16/08

Anok

J.P.Richardson, strangled with Chantilly Lace, ponytailed women are suspect.

[reply]
7/16/08

robertstevenson

Ann and Nancy Wilson bitten in the heart by a barracuda.

Elvis Presley mutilated by a hound dog.

Led Zepplin's Robert Plant dies falling off the stairway to heaven.

All of ACDC die in the bus crash on the highway to hell.

Simon and Garfunkle fall 900 ft off the bridge over trouble water - there were no survivors.

Roger Daltrey has a heart attack singing I hope I die before I get old for the last time.

[reply]
1. 7/16/08
  
  TheBigRuski
  
  I knew you'd pull through RS! Good ones!
2. 7/16/08
  
  robertstevenson
  
  Thanks - that was fun.
3. 7/16/08
  
  TheBigRuski
  
  Edit:
  
  AC/DC Bus Crashes on Highway to Hell
7/16/08

GrayFoxDown

London: Warren Zevon Attacked By Werewolf (yes, I know he's dead)

[reply]
1. 7/16/08
  
  TheBigRuski
  
  Good one!
7/16/08

TheBigRuski

Paul McCartney Found Living Then Left to Die

Cat Stevens Run Over by Peace Train

[reply]
7/16/08

GrayFoxDown

Great Thread, BigRuski. This one could certainly go on forever. Thanks.

[reply]
7/16/08

junbitoy

Bryan Adams rescued from the mire!

[reply]
7/16/08

TheBigRuski

You guys need help!

More:

Tom Petty Falls to Death

Roger Waters has Collision with Wall

Pete Townshend Crashes Magic Bus

[reply]
1. 7/16/08
  
  junbitoy
  
  "Rescue me from the mire"
  is the opening lyrics for
  Bryan Adam's song Rescue me!
2. 7/16/08
  
  TheBigRuski
  
  Thanks! I did not know that!
7/16/08

robertstevenson

Pat Benatar died after serenading Mike Tyson with Hit me with your best shot.

The cutting crew just died in your arms tonight.

[reply]
1. 7/16/08
  
  kdawg68
  
  OMFG - died in your arms tonight. Classic!!!!!!
7/16/08

GrayFoxDown

Pink Floyd Collides With Wall...Rendered "Uncomfortably" Numb

[reply]
1. 7/16/08
  
  TheBigRuski
  
  The whole band?
7/16/08

GrayFoxDown

David Gilmour Survives: Experiencing Momentary Lapse Of Reason

[reply]
1. 7/16/08
  
  TheBigRuski
  
  A little lengthy...but good!
7/16/08

kellybax

Don Henley killed by girlfriend because all she wants to do is dance and he wouldn't let her

That was weak.... I will get warmed up!

[reply]
1. 7/16/08
  
  TheBigRuski
  
  Henley Poisoned by Fairy Tales
  Lawyers Dwell on Small Details
2. 7/16/08
  
  kdawg68
  
  -Don Henley killed wearing dirty laundry. Mother reportedly mortified.
3. 7/16/08
  
  TheBigRuski
  
  Henley Found Under Pile of Dirty Laundry
4. 7/16/08
  
  TheBigRuski
  
  Nicks, Henley Discovered Bound in Leather and Lace
5. 7/16/08
  
  kellybax
  
  You boys put me to shame!
  
  Joe Walsh died from life being too good and wandering around his mansion and not being able to find the door.
  
  Glenn Frye killed because apparently...he did NOT belong to/in the city.
6. 7/16/08
  
  TheBigRuski
  
  Henley's Bad Heart of the Matter Ends Eagles Long Run
7/16/08

TimMc

Joe Walsh shot by an Ordinary Average Guy

[reply]
1. 7/16/08
  
  kellybax
  
  Timothy B. Schmidt died mysteriously and I can't tell you why
7/16/08

mizhelena

dang this all reminds me of those dickee (but ohh so hillarious) book title jokes... u no like "Ten Steps To The Toliet" by Will E. Makit.. lol... sorry its early and my kefalaki needs a rest.. lol

[reply]
7/16/08

focusorganic

Anthony Kiedis Perishes in Aeroplane Crash

[reply]
1. 7/16/08
  
  kdawg68
  
  oh good one -
  
  Keidis found slain under the bridge.
2. 7/16/08
  
  focusorganic
  
  Ha, I was trying to think of an under the bridge one, but when I thought of bridge, I thought of troll, and couldn't get that out of my head.
  
  Axl Rose Murdered in Paradise City By Pretty Girl
  Body of Axl Rose Discovered, Nothing But Dust N'Bones
7/16/08

kdawg68

Some bad ones:

-Bon Jovie overdoses on bad medicine
-Bob Marley executed after confessing "I shot the sherriff."
-Annie Lenox dies from walking on broken glass
-Sebastian Bach elects suicide rather than face "18 and life."
-Cherly Crow dies in accident on Santa Monica Blvd.
-Alice Cooper mistakenly swallows poison
-Years of "smoking in the boys room" leads to lung cancer for Poison frontman Bret Michaels.
-Kip Winger shot by angry father who insists about daughter "she's only seventeen!"

[reply]
1. 7/16/08
  
  TheBigRuski
  
  Marley, Lenox, and Crow are excellent!
7/16/08

kellybax

Warrant's lead singer dies of obesity after eating too much sweet cherry pie

[reply]
1. 7/16/08
  
  TheBigRuski
  
  LOL!
2. 7/16/08
  
  kdawg68
  
  damn you - I was trying to think of a Warrant one!
7/16/08

TimMc

E.L.O. band members found to be victims of Strange Magic by an Evil Woman

[reply]
7/16/08

TimMc

Jeff Lynne bankrupt after being wooed by a Sweet Talkin' Woman (E.L.O. frontman)

[reply]
7/16/08

TheBigRuski

Springsteen Dies in the USA

[reply]
1. 7/16/08
  
  TimMc
  
  you should add "in a Pink Cadillac"
2. 7/16/08
  
  TheBigRuski
  
  Springsteen's Killer Escapes in Brilliant Disguise
3. 7/16/08
  
  TheBigRuski
  
  Springsteen Dies Trying To Prove it All Night
7/16/08

kdawg68

Tom Petty leaps from window in bird costume- plummets to death 12 stories below. Tells friends he was "learning to fly."

[reply]
1. 7/16/08
  
  TheBigRuski
  
  That's a lead...not a headline! But good nevertheless!
7/16/08

kellybax

Stevie Nicks taken by the wind... or was it really Rhiannon who did it?

[reply]
1. 7/16/08
  
  kdawg68
  
  Nicks takes life with ice pick. Claims never lived to see "seven wonders."
  
  Edit: Inferno claims life of legend Nicks. Call to 911 claimed "rooms on fire."
2. 7/16/08
  
  kellybax
  
  Stevie Nicks falls to her death after jumping into Silver Springs
3. 7/16/08
  
  TheBigRuski
  
  NOW you are warmed up!
7/16/08

focusorganic

Britney Spears Sent From Above, Plummets to Death

[reply]
7/16/08

kellybax

Billy Joel still alive because only the good die young!

[reply]
7/16/08

GrayFoxDown

Jefferson Airplane Collides With Starship

[reply]
1. 7/16/08
  
  TheBigRuski
  
  That's a winner!
7/16/08

TimMc

Boston band founder, Tom Scholz dies on highway, trying to Hitch a Ride.

[reply]
7/16/08

TimMc

Big Shot Billy Joel arrested in Allentown with Uptown Girl.

[reply]
1. 7/16/08
  
  TheBigRuski
  
  Another great one!
7/16/08

kellybax

Seals and Croft hurled in air while enjoying a summer breeze that produced a tornado

[reply]
7/16/08

TimMc

America band member, Gerry Buckley, trampled to death by A Horse with No Name

[reply]
1. 7/16/08
  
  kellybax
  
  or was it Kdawg pretending to have no name????
2. 7/16/08
  
  TheBigRuski
  
  Journalistically, it would be:
  
  America's Buckley Trampled by Horse With No Name
3. 7/16/08
  
  TimMc
  
  I was hoping KDawg would come along and confess...
4. 7/16/08
  
  kdawg68
  
  I'm just glad the authorities haven't found any suspects.
7/16/08

focusorganic

Jimi Hendrix Lost in Room Full of Mirrors

[reply]
7/16/08

GrayFoxDown

Buffalo Overrun Springfield

[reply]
7/16/08

TimMc

Cheap Sunglasses Result in Vision Loss for Billy Gibbons (ZZ Top)

[reply]
7/16/08

kellybax

Def Leppard dies of "hysteria" after an "animal" attacked trying to prove "love bites"

[reply]
1. 7/16/08
  
  kdawg68
  
  Yes!!!!!!!! A trifecta of "hearing impaired predatory cat."
7/16/08

focusorganic

Elvis Crushed by Jailhouse Rock
Elvis Dead, Shot in the Ghetto

I suck at this game, but it's still fun

[reply]
7/16/08

TimMc

Trying to find a good one for Billy Idol, hehe...

[reply]
1. 7/16/08
  
  focusorganic
  
  Since I have an obsession with zombies..
  
  Billy Idol Eaten by Dead Next Door, Rebel Yell Heard for Miles
7/16/08

TheBigRuski

Jimmy Buffet Chokes on Cheeseburger in Paradise

[reply]
1. 7/17/08
  
  RTBjr73
  
  you sure it wasn't the french fried potato that did him in?
7/16/08

GrayFoxDown

Police Raid A Police Concert

[reply]
1. 7/16/08
  
  TheBigRuski
  
  arrrrgh!
7/16/08

GrayFoxDown

Well, I had a long, hot and steamy day here in New York City...that's my excuse.

[reply]
1. 7/16/08
  
  TheBigRuski
  
  Yep...me, too...only in the OC!
7/16/08

kdawg68

Sting tells crowd "don't stand so close to me" while activating self detonation device.

[reply]
1. 7/16/08
  
  TheBigRuski
  
  I luh-ove that one!
7/16/08

jan4insight

All right, I'll give it a whirl:

Jimmy Buffet steps on a pop top; dies of acute blood poisoning.

:-P

[reply]
1. 7/16/08
  
  TheBigRuski
  
  Winner!
7/16/08

PetLvr

I get spam like this all the time! Here are the ones JUST FROM TODAY ...

Norton Firm admits to releasing viruses
Martha Stewart found unconscious in home
3 US Marines killed in freak training accident
Afghan bombing kills President Bush
US launches airstrike against Afghanistan
Britney spears says no to Madonna's film invitation
Al Pacino investigated by police for mob funding
Angelina Jolie dies in miscarriage
Steve Jobs guilty of backdating stock options

[reply]
1. 7/16/08
  
  TheBigRuski
  
  Yes..most of us do!
7/16/08

mattiasx

Green Day flattened in a vehicle driven by an American Idiot

[reply]
1. 7/16/08
  
  TheBigRuski
  
  Good one...let me tighten up...
  
  Car Driven by American Idiot Flattens Green Day
7/16/08

speedingzebra

Snoop Dogg mauled to death by a Labrador ;-)

[reply]
7/16/08

bikram

Lol i just clicked coz i think it is true

[reply]
7/16/08

TheBigRuski

Some of these I've posted are from my co-workers. Like this one:

Neil Diamond found in blue jeans lying in rocks on the side of a Brooklyn road in America

[reply]
7/17/08

kxthy73

Britney Spears Was Sold As A Slave And Then Hit One More Time

[reply]
7/17/08

kxthy73

Michael Jackson Goes To Jail For Being Bad......oh wait a minute....that headline could be true huh? hehe

[reply]
7/17/08

jafajfer

Yeah :-)

[reply]
7/17/08

barryfromtexas

BB King was ran over by a Cadillac driven by a jealous ex girlfriend who was under the influence of cheap wine just as police were about to arrest him for gambling. - Note: he had four aces in his hand.

[reply]
7/17/08

barryfromtexas

Monkeys all die after the last train to Clarkesville derails

[reply]
1. 7/17/08
  
  TheBigRuski
  
  Most excellent!
7/17/08

barryfromtexas

John Denver crashes plane while experiencing a "rocky Mountain High"... oops that one IS true

[reply]
1. 7/17/08
  
  TheBigRuski
  
  Buddy Holly dies in plane crash. (Oh wait, that really happened.)
7/17/08

mattiasx

Busta Rhymes killed from drinking tainted Ice T.

[reply]
7/17/08

ThriftShopRomantic

Billy Joel Goes to Extremes but Says He Didn't Start The Fire

[reply]
1. 7/17/08
  
  TheBigRuski
  
  Great!
7/17/08

alexmcone

Alex Mcone - you look horrible ! (actual spam mail heading)

Now that is just rude.

[reply]
1. 7/17/08
  
  mattiasx
  
  They're just jealous...
7/17/08

TheBigRuski

Bon Jovi No Longer Lives On a Prayer

[reply]
7/17/08

RTBjr73

Metallica drowns in Fuel

[reply]
7/17/08

RTBjr73

Ozzt Osbourne ran over by a Crazy Train

[reply]
7/17/08

RTBjr73

Saliva killed by a bomb that went "Click Click Boom"

[reply]
7/17/08

RTBjr73

Steppenwolf died when they fell off their Magic Carpet Ride and landed on the Who's Magic Bus.

[reply]
7/17/08

ThriftShopRomantic

Peter Gabriel Hit by Sledgehammer. Cause of Mysterious Red Rain.

Digging in the Dirt to Come.

[reply]
7/17/08

RTBjr73

Cinderella dies the other noght. No one heard them scream "Somebody Save Me"

The rock group Bush died because Gwen Stefani served them glasses of "Glycerine"

Disturbed died yesterday when they came "Down With The Sickness"

Drowning Pool fell off a building and died when their "Bodies" hit the floor

[reply]
1. 7/17/08
  
  TheBigRuski
  
  not my era!
7/17/08

RTBjr73

Foreigner froze to death when they became "Cold As Ice".
It happened on a "Blue Morning, Blue Day".
They were taken to "Urgent" care, complaining of "Double Vision."
Doctors asked if this happened before.
They responded "Feels Like The First Time".

[reply]
1. 7/17/08
  
  TheBigRuski
  
  You're in marketing, right RTBjr73? Hmmmm....
2. 7/17/08
  
  RTBjr73
  
  No sir, just too much useless information in the old melon of mine!
3. 7/17/08
  
  TheBigRuski
  
  You need to be a professional spam headline writer!
4. 7/17/08
  
  RTBjr73
  
  HA HA!! Yo Big, I'm for hire at the right price!
7/17/08

lordlikely

David Bowie Abducted by Life on Mars.

[reply]
7/17/08

wandadog13

abba send out SOS
Weather girls hit as men rained down on them
Spice girls got what everyone really really wanted
Flock of Seagulls tempted by decoy and shot

[reply]
1. 7/17/08
  
  ThriftShopRomantic
  
  Jonathan, the Spice Girls line-- inspired!
7/17/08

Carola

Ciao io Adoro Elton Jhon ho appena visto il suo concerto a venezia!!!!
Is beautiful

[reply]
7/17/08

mattiasx

The Police mysteriously fall dead after reading enchanted Message in a Bottle

[reply]
7/17/08

TheBigRuski

Fans Driven To Tears by the Police Demise

Officials Investigate Every Breath Taken in Police Murder

[reply]
7/17/08

TheBigRuski

Sting Says 'Be Still My Beating Heart' Before Failure

Sting's Death Ruled Murder by Numbers

[reply]
7/17/08

newward

I got this one today - Girl attacked by pirahnas in Georgia

edit: sorry

[reply]
1. 7/17/08
  
  TheBigRuski
  
  Bizarre...but start a new thread on that one! This is rock/music star specific!
2. 7/17/08
  
  TheBigRuski
  
  no need to apologize at all! this is all about fun!
7/17/08

GrayFoxDown

Martha Reeves & The Vandellas Die In Heat Wave

[reply]
1. 7/17/08
  
  TheBigRuski
  
  Most excellent!
7/17/08

lulubelleb

Dylan Missing. Bloody Tracks Only Clue.

Neil Young Impaled by Knight in Armor.

[reply]
7/17/08

webcartoonist

This is a complete waste of time.

[reply]
1. 7/17/08
  
  TheBigRuski
  
  ^ doesn't get it!
7/17/08

Dukepro25

Gene Simmons shot by Love Guy

[reply]
1. 7/17/08
  
  Dukepro25
  
  *Love Gun
7/17/08

mattiasx

Coldplay found dead In My Place. Now I'm the prime suspect. WTF?!

[reply]
1. 7/17/08
  
  Dukepro25
  
  lol
7/17/08

Dukepro25

Steve Perry killed by Wheel In The Sky

[reply]
7/17/08

Dukepro25

James Taylor flattened by Steamroller

[reply]
1. 7/17/08
  
  TheBigRuski
  
  already done!
2. 7/17/08
  
  Dukepro25
  
  dang
7/17/08

Dukepro25

Rod Stewart found decapitated by the Downtown Train.

[reply]
7/17/08

Dukepro25

Sting assassinated by the Russians

[reply]
1. 7/17/08
  
  TheBigRuski
  
  good one!
7/17/08

Dukepro25

Seal murdered by Killer

[reply]
7/17/08

Dukepro25

Rob Thomas experiences heart failure after saying, "This Is How A Heart Breaks".

[reply]
7/17/08

Dukepro25

Michael Buble dies in fiery car crash after rushing Home from a performance.

[reply]
7/18/08

indianhits

comment removed by the community.

[reply]
7/18/08

DoktorTR

comment removed by the community.

[reply]
7/18/08

roastfrog

"The Police Murdered By Numbers"

[reply]
1. 7/18/08
  
  TheBigRuski
  
  already submitted!
7/18/08

shagnast2100

Gordon Lightfoot dies after the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald

[reply]
7/18/08

VampireFaust

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

[reply]
7/18/08

kdawg68

Warren Zevon shot by Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner

Warren Zevon eaten alive by werewolves of London.

Warren Zevon held captive by extremists - begs fans to send lawyers, guns, and money.

[reply]
1. 7/18/08
  
  TheBigRuski
  
  That last one is AWESOME!
7/18/08

Dukepro25

George Michael's Faith was tried after falling off a 10 story building and dying on impact.

[reply]
7/18/08

Dukepro25

Phil Collins dies of overdose after One More Night of hardcore drugs.

[reply]
7/18/08

Dukepro25

Peter Gabriel shot by sniper atop Solsbury Hill.

[reply]
7/18/08

focusorganic

I just got one of those emails, but mine wasn't very funny. If I'm going to get spam, couldn't it least be funny?

[reply]
7/18/08

lulubelleb

Jett Assaulted: Crazed Blackhearts Fan Wants to Touch Joan "There".

[reply]
1. 7/18/08
  
  TheBigRuski
  
  decent!
7/18/08

TheBigRuski

Chrissie Hynde Run Over in the Middle of the Road

Pretenders' Member Attempts Escape Back on the Chain Gang

Hynde Called 'Precious' at Memorial

[reply]
7/18/08

seaglassorganic

here goes....Janet Jackson clawed to death by Black Cat

[reply]
7/18/08

mattiasx

Making Love in an Elevator proves fatal for Aerosmith.

[reply]
1. 7/18/08
  
  Dukepro25
  
  lol
  
  Good one
7/18/08

MagicWandBook

Bryan Adams goes to Heaven and passes Alice Cooper on his way down to Hell.

[reply]
7/21/08

TheBigRuski

Three more from my co-worker:

Ringo bludgeoned by Maxwell's silver hammer
The missing Steve Miller found living in the USA
Johnny Cash falls into a ring of fire

[reply]
7/24/08

TheBigRuski

Police Lose Rickie's Number in Steely Dan Case

[reply]
7/24/08

TheBigRuski

NOTE: Those of you who have already participated, please re-submit your best one below with your blog name and url. I will be making a best list post asap on one of my blogs! Those that haven't posted one above, can still enter your best.

Thanks!

[reply]
7/24/08

MagicWandBook

Hello TheBigRuski

Ok here is my headline...

Bryan Adams goes to Heaven and passes Alice Cooper on his way down to Hell.

What Would You Do With a Magic Wand For a Day?
whatwouldyoudowithamagicwandforaday.blogspot.com/

[reply]
8/14/08

TheBigRuski

Just in case you missed it...the Top Ten were published here:

thescroogereport.blogspot.com/2008/07/elton-john-dies-in-rocketshipand-othe...

You can also find the list here:

www.blogcatalog.com/discuss/entry/top-ten-rock-n-roll-spam-headlines

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