Discussions
Funny Google Searches II
Posted by cookingasshole • 6/12/09 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: freaks, funny, google, searches, sickos
So my blog gets a bunch of hilarious traffic from google. Here are some of the most recent:
quick sweet f*ck in the nature
"how to" "cook sh*t" recipe
stuffed a**holes
a**hole sucks buttermilk
boy f*ck chicken picture
f*ck cooking ordering out
f*ck your chicken
f*cking cooking mom
f*cking a chicken pic
potato in a**hole
shrimp a**holes
www.all your holes.blogspot.com
www.big huge a**holes.com
What funny searches do you have?
User Comments
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Heh... niiccce. I hope none of these people are actively handling food in, say, restaurants.
Over the last month or so, I have had one person coming back to my site multiple times over the course of a week looking for "evil baby growls."
I don't know if he's looking for sound effects for something, it's a band name, or he's hoping to get child-rearing advice for his possessed tot...
I ended up writing a post about it, hoping he'll see it and give me some clue.
My curiosity is piqued!-
now that is just disturbing!
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Hey, I got a post out of it, so... it's not too shabby.
My theory is that it's because there isn't yet a handbook called "Things to Expect When You're Exorcising."
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Mine are awful, but hilarious... Some of them are just downright GROSS! Kinda makes me wonder, what kind of a site do people think I'm running here. Nevertheless, I am amused
Today
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horse f*ckers
gyn f*cks patient
emergency c*ck sign
which culture has the smallest penis
list of different ways to say f*ck off
pee
can you put saran wrap in your ass?
Yesterday
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wtf
yourporno
dirtysanchez etsy
filty horse f*ckers
woman crying
do women trim gynecologist
engrish c*ck
relaty porno
mini skirt chuck taylor
oral sex horse
men gynecologists
june cleaver
horsef*ckers
cute horse f*cker
my mothers blow job
your porno
male porno names
man f*ckets girl horse
why become a gynecologist
crying woman
homeless person
hands working
things you can do with plastic wrap
"wtf"
punctually challenged
cute horse f*ckers
AND MORE...
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saran wrap ass
different ways to say f*ck off or f*ck you
i f*cked my gynecologist
short story road to nowhere
men f*ckin horse
crying
wtf pictures
horse f*ckers
female porno names
yur porno
porn nécrophil
porno realestate
why do men become gyno
pornno name
woman crying
f*cking donald duck
tank girl + smell
yourporno
crying
women horsef*ckers.com
men f*ckin horses
why to become a gynecologist
girls wear chucks no socks
why do men become gynecologists?
how to saran wrap a car1
do gynecologists get turned on?
using saran wrap to lose weight
creative ways to say no
erection microscope
my f*cking horse
poem about being late
It's funny because all of the horse f*cking references are because of a post I wrote a couple of years ago called "adulterous horse f*ckers loving my site"... And it was a post about search terms, I noticed one person had entered "horse f*cking" and arrived at my site, so since I wrote about it there's been a HUGE surge of horse f*cking enthusiasts landing on my site (likely being sorely disappointed when they don't see any horses or references to bestiality).
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those are better than mine!!!
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SO rude! But very amusing!
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I like the saran wrap ones...
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Yeah those ones are from a story I wrote about a perverted trucker who wanted to be wrapped naked in saran wrap by a chick he met at a truck stop.
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lmfao.
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- Westbrooke's Rotting Septum
- Morbidly Obese Bitches
- Male Cream Pie Gulp
- Stoddard Solvents
- Cum Cocktail Junkies
- Leather Clad Whores
- Her Snatch - It Has Crabs
- Fist That Midget Harder
- Celebrity Suicides
- Slow Motion Enemas
- Snuff Torture
- Nazi Facials
- Cannibal Cookbook
- Pygmy Porn
- Where Can I Find Dead Cats?
- Penelope Pitstop Hentai
- Randy Travis Toilet Slave
- Your Quim Is My Gym
- Rectal Bleaching
Mind you, most of these are relevant to my content.-
you made those up!
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These are taken from a Google Analytics report for my current website and also, an archive of older posts from a former website. I assure you of their legitimacy and authenticity.
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OMG mine have just been put in their place!!
Ha ha!!! "Cum Cocktail Junkies"... "Fist that midget harder"... LMAO!!! -
The thing is, unlike you and others who are bemused by these search results, my referrals are actually relevant due to the content I publish.
Well, most of the time. -
Mine aren't totally out of left field either, I at least understand how one would arrive at my site by entering these terms.
I know the posts they are related to. -
"porn nécrophil"
So is there much necrophilia on your page? -
Yep... I know the exact post that search term is from. It's from a post entitled "I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse."
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I once searched 'ultimate x men', innocently looking for a back issue of a comic, got 'ultimate gay sex for men'.
Oh, and my previous surname was shared by a scientist who did research into ilnesses of the genitals: googling it brought up thousands of pictures of swollen balls.
Mabye I should blog about more erotic dreams to get more hits
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Ultimate X Men... LOL!! That doesn't surprise me. It does sound ripe for the picking.
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My list is quite tame compared to what others have posted but here are the one's I found interesting
rate my cleavage
honesty is not the best policy
prison break
21 jump street, monkey man
40% of women do what
articles loofah germs
black jolie-esque pantsuit
canada goose searching for mate poem
exclusive club gynofree
how to not sound desperate
podunk "sonny bono"
rihanna's downtown bonanza
sext granny-
21 jump street, monkey man, lol
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cockrings of milwakee -
I don't think this is funny so much as disturbing--since summer started I'm getting about a dozen hits a day on variations of "can you get pregnant in a pool?" -
I know I've asked before but where in Google Analytics do I find out this info .. I'm not very familiar with the site.
ty-
traffic sources and then keywords
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ty CA!
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Mine aren't as good as some.
-hunting guide's naked wife
-where is the cliff at jumbles reservoir
-naked guide -
roasted garlic is f*cking awesome
"how to" "cook sh*t" recipe
assholes of 2009
bacon that looks like jesus
blue hair lady f*cking dog
catfish birthday cake
cook poopers
do steak fries have steak in them
corn up the asshole pics
f*ck your own ass now instruction
good ass motherf*ckin fried chicken
how do i not make avacado taste like sh*t
how to get f*cking fried
how to f*ck up cooking a cake
mint self sucking
pics old chooks f*cking
what do i do with a sh*tload of garlic
you f*cking suck at cooking-
oh boy stop. I am going to fall of my chair.
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had a dream pig on a roof and killed it
Don't think many of ours will beat cooking assholes. lol-
I have only been rivaled by qelqoth so far. I challenge all you BC members to a funny google search off!!!
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The only recent one according to Analytics is "Carson's balls". Probably due to the fact that my surname is Ball. -
"don't nobody go in the bathroom for about 35 45 minutes. somebody open up a window."
Got this one today -
i am funny ! -
got some more:
the f*ck is halibut
amateurs a** hole 2009
artichokes. what the f*ck?
a** holes filled with cock
a** holes overload
bacon that looks like jesus
cook me a f*cking chicken
halibut all up in that b*tch -
"How can I love my post baby body"? -
One word
Spooning (ouch) -
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"Chinese finger trap cock ring"
Immagine that guy's dissapointment, all those other things actually appear on your blog. -
yet...get ready for it TT
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Not all those things appear on my blog,FS. I know for certain that I NEVER have discussed the time my dad.......nevermind! -
- Heads up for the impending "return of the zombies", which could become great blog fodder for more humorous zombie theme posts for thriftshopromantic's cabbages and kings blog. ... lol
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Did you and Doll get confused, CA?
I'm confused why DollinNYC is on your avatar! -
Hmmmmm ...
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ahem I get:
I am lonely
Tattooed
Mike Mizanin
Gabby Moore 13
F*cking Milfs
Casey Kennedy Nude
Naked Casandra Kennedy
Horny Milfs.com
boredmilfs
hotties
Tattooed Milfs
(anyone else noticing a trend?)
"baby daddy is a d*ck"
pregnant milfs
dead babies
people are quite strange... and apparently have a strange desire to see me nude
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