It's a pretty funny story. See more at anthonycolarusso.com

For my birthday, my awesome, amazing, wonderful, sweet girlfriend Lauren bought me a massage. I have never had a massage before so I was pretty excited. The whole night actually was really perfect. Let me back up. . . You see, Easy Street (a Bowling Green Cafe) sends you a $10 gift certificate on your birthday. The plan was for Lauren and I to go and split a meal with my certificate. We ordered a turkey club, with fries and steamed veggies. It was good, and there was even a whole box of food that I took home. Lauren had already called ahead for our massages. It was really difficult to get a time, and apparently only one man works there as a massage therapist. So, we were to go and get massages from Kelly and Pam. Lauren choose to get Kelly, and I got Pam. Now, nothing against the name Pam, but Lauren and I did discuss over dinner what Pam would be like. Maybe, she would be a huge muscular woman with man hands? ”That would be ideal.” I said. I didn’t want to deal with any impure temptations during this hour long back rub. Maybe, Pam would turn out to be really cute, and maybe Kelly would have the huge muscles and hairy arms. . . Maybe, Kelly would be a man. . . in which case Lauren and I agreed to switch therapists. Neither of us like the idea of a man giving her a massage. . .therapist or not.

So after our Easy Street meal, Lauren and I drove to Fallen Timbers still chatty about what Pam and Kelly would look like. Snippits from our conversation: Should we leave our jeans on? That would be weird. . . Maybe we should change to sweatpants? The couples room would be fun, well it would be weird. . . unless there is a divider. we agree. I should have shaved my back. . . and not shaved my armpits. . . KIDDING! This is gonna be so weird.

We get to Fallen Timbers with time to kill. We browse through Dillard’s, and end up walking through a chocolate shop for some samples. We run into Lauren’s friend who delivers on free chocolate covered strawberries the size of grapefruits! We are stuffing our face with the treat as we walk into Massage Envy. . .

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