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Funny search phrases

Posted by ThriftShopRomantic • 9/19/08 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: funny, humor, search terms, SEO

I got a good one today which brought someone to my website, and it made me laugh out loud. Ready for it?

--"how did bigfoot get his name"

Um... yeah....

Because of it's dainty size 6's?

Others I've enjoyed are (spelling left unedited):

--"how to build a flee circus"
--"hockey squirrel pictures"
--"bugs bunny dressed as a girl!!!!"
--"what does it mean when your fortune cookie has no fortune"
--"how to help a pomeranian with stiif legs"
--"how to call forth a spirit using a ouija board"

My site is apparently a very "how to" sort of place, since flea-circus building, spirit calling, pomeranian massaging folks seem to think I can help.

SOOOOO--

How 'bout the latest funny search terms that came across your stats?

User Comments

9/19/08

Shiley

Lolliwinks that's my weirdest one. I'm like #4 0r 5 if you google Lolliwinks.

[reply]
1. 9/19/08
  
  ThriftShopRomantic
  
  Lolliwinks?? Should I know what that is?
2. 9/19/08
  
  Shiley
  
  I don't even know what a Lolliwink is. For $0.50 we picked up a kids record I wrote I have no clue what it is and I get two or three hits a day for Lolliwinks from Australia I think.
9/19/08

ekim941

Unfortunately, my fortune cookies come with a fortune.

[reply]
1. 9/19/08
  
  ThriftShopRomantic
  
  Ohmigod, Ekim!-- I've had the same fortune! What does this mean? Weird karma? Or General Tso's chicken that was really, really off?
2. 9/19/08
  
  ekim941
  
  "Tso" is what I yelled on the way down the path.
9/19/08

ekim941

"How to cook butternut squash"
Apparently I get a lot of traffic from that one.
I must have been completely liquored up when I wrote that one 'coz I don't remember it at all.

[reply]
1. 9/19/08
  
  ThriftShopRomantic
  
  Oh come on, Ekim, we all know you're the next Julia Child-- who also would be liquored up when cooking.
9/19/08

okokokok

"Health Benefits of Linoleum"

[reply]
1. 9/19/08
  
  ThriftShopRomantic
  
  Heh... take two linoleum tiles and call me in the morning.
2. 9/20/08
  
  okokokok
  
  Very Funny. I did. Feeling much better thanks. . .
9/19/08

sellytapgirl

"Idina Menzel bra size"
"I want to [edited for profanity] Nastia Liukin" (no idea where this came from, Ive enver so much as mentioned her in a post that I remember)
"cody linley blisters"
"star wars vagina" (NO idea about this one)

[reply]
1. 9/19/08
  
  kdawg68
  
  Star Wars vagina???? OMG - that's the best I've seen yet. What the hell could they be looking for?
2. 9/19/08
  
  ThriftShopRomantic
  
  Wow, I think you win for some of the most colorful search terms so far, Selly. Someone has a very unique take on Star Wars.
3. 9/20/08
  
  sellytapgirl
  
  Todays winner is:
  "how to cancel an order" and
  "what is a mohawk hairstyle called?"
  
  I want to know how in the heck these redirect to my blog.
4. 9/20/08
  
  earthlingorgeous
  
  crazy searches I say
5. 9/20/08
  
  ThriftShopRomantic
  
  I wonder whether the "what is a mohawk hairstyle called" person is the same as the "how did bigfoot get his name" person? We'll call him Mr. Obvious.
6. 9/21/08
  
  sellytapgirl
  
  Todays are:
  "i feel compelled to do so" (I'm #1 for this search term for Google UK!)
  "bad things about martha graham"
  "juilliard diabetes"
  "how to know your a dancer"
  "neil haskell hair without the mohawk"
  "cheerleading she.can.lift"
7. 9/21/08
  
  ThriftShopRomantic
  
  I'd love to know what would compel someone to type into a search engine, "I feel compelled to do so..."
9/19/08

LGramlich

Some of my faves are;
"Malkovich is gay"
"German counterfeit money"
"Should a cow skull be hung inside the house?"
"How to make a helicopter out of wood"
"Who was the last person to lnd on the moon"

[reply]
1. 9/19/08
  
  ThriftShopRomantic
  
  I'm getting this image of some guys filming their own Jackass type video, trying to build their own discount helicopter.
  
  As for the cow skull.... What's so funny about elegant cow skull oriented home interiors?
2. 9/20/08
  
  LGramlich
  
  TSR; Don't get me wrong--I've actually had a bull's skull I used as home decoration in the past & I currently have jawbones from both a deer & a pig of some kind. What was funny (or at least odd,) was that such a search term would lead to my blog.
3. 9/21/08
  
  ThriftShopRomantic
  
  Guess the Google folks have been spying on your bones collection.
9/20/08

earthlingorgeous

There were others more weird than this but I forget them already

"philip pelusi benjamin cho" whoever was that person lol
"natalie dylan idiot"
"ellie buendia was died"
"MILF massage parlor"

Oh btw nice topic Jen

[reply]
1. 9/20/08
  
  Friday13
  
  *looks at that last one*
  
  WHAT?!
2. 9/20/08
  
  earthlingorgeous
  
  lol MILF means Moro International Liberation Front(MILF) some muslim group in Mindanao Philippines, alleged responsible for the recent war out there
3. 9/20/08
  
  Friday13
  
  Oh, that's what it means in this case. Because I was thinking something completely unrelated.
  
  *slaps self*
4. 9/20/08
  
  Anok
  
  Hahaha Friday, I thought the same thing...hey, there's a niche for everything these days
5. 9/20/08
  
  earthlingorgeous
  
  yeah there were a couple who thought the same when i wrote that post so I have to clarify the meaning on the post also
6. 9/20/08
  
  ThriftShopRomantic
  
  AH--- I think many of us were thinking of a different MILF!
  
  Actually, it's VERY funny with the wrong MILF...
9/20/08

aningeniousname

I think the one I had today is my all time number one favourite, it was:
Can licking the testes give me aids?

[reply]
1. 9/20/08
  
  sellytapgirl
  
  lol!
2. 9/20/08
  
  earthlingorgeous
  
  LMAO
9/20/08

clioandme

stoneman undies

[reply]
1. 9/20/08
  
  ThriftShopRomantic
  
  Oh boy. TMI!
9/20/08

Anok

Here's two:

Prayer, rent my house

and

Sonia skeleton died spain

Weird

[reply]
1. 9/20/08
  
  ThriftShopRomantic
  
  I think I now want to write a children's book called "Sonia Skeleton Died." Sort of Tim Burton type story.
2. 9/20/08
  
  Anok
  
  Hahah!
9/20/08

chief302

"rot on the vine" farm expensive
suburban tweens
tikiopia permaculture

[reply]
1. 9/20/08
  
  ThriftShopRomantic
  
  Do we want to know why someone was looking up "suburban tweens"? I wonder.
9/20/08

annz

scholarly articles about zombies
chocolate covered bacon on a stick
drinking lemonade while pregnant (no idea why anyone would search for it but it's one of the top searches that gets people to my blog)

[reply]
1. 9/21/08
  
  ThriftShopRomantic
  
  I kinda think I'd enjoy knowing about "Scholarly articles about zombies," myself. It may help me at Dave & Busters when I play House of the Dead 4-- what do ya think?
2. 9/22/08
  
  annz
  
  Well, I did write a post about the study of Zombies. Turns out that it's a serious line of inquiry in the field of cognitive studies. But it made me laugh.
  tragicoptimist.wordpress.com/2008/08/13/zombies-in-the-library/
9/20/08

kenjebz

lol

[reply]
9/20/08

jan4insight

I just had someone hit my blog with this:

good things to do during mercury retrograde

Fortunately, I was able to give her the answer:-)

[reply]
1. 9/21/08
  
  jan4insight
  
  Good for me - I killed another thread again!
2. 9/21/08
  
  ThriftShopRomantic
  
  Nah- I just wasn't online for the last 12 hours to respond! Nothin' personal, Jan.
9/22/08

Hoeno

I love this subject. I am addicted to looking at the keywords. From just this month, we've received:

''My dog rolls in bear feces''
''camel smoking penis norm mcdonald ''
''shaolin marijuana ''
'' "katie morgan" talking about wiener ''
''did cleopatra invented the first vibrator ''
''Harry Truman and Comedy ''
''mechanics of female orgasm Nebraska November ''

Sadly, I know why each of these made it onto our site and the Cleopatra thing was directly spoken of. One of my favorites of all time was:

''Did Kirk Cameron's wife brainwash him?''

We did a thread on this before that had some good ones on it too. www.blogcatalog.com/discuss/entry/what-are-your-most-bizarre-keyword-search...

~JD

[reply]
1. 9/22/08
  
  ThriftShopRomantic
  
  Shaolin Marijuana? What, is that the Stephen Chow film that didn't make the cut?
  
  And either someone was looking for something VERY specific about Norm McDonald, or they're really not big fans of his.
9/22/08

melisasriwulandari

Wish i got something to contribute. But the only 'funny' one i got is a misspelling of video > vedio.

[reply]
9/22/08

LazyThirdEye

I've only even looked once since figuring out how to get to it and I saw one for something like ''What does the Popobawa actually look like'' and ''Popobawa penis''. I'm so glad we did a post on the Popobawa.

[reply]
9/22/08

barryfromtexas

Mine arent that funny:

dangers of open holes
international police missions united nations
dumb signs
cattle cars
one-month intensive workout
larry the cable guy now that's funny
now that's funny!!! i don't care who you are!! larry the cable guy
srsg liberia 2008
great blonde joke (I still lots of traffic on that)

[reply]
1. 9/22/08
  
  ThriftShopRomantic
  
  I'm noticing the recurring "Larry the Cable Guy" theme there, Barry...
9/22/08

xmarks

I write about my kids; including potty training, failures in potty training and I once wrote about my son's circumsition. I also write a little about the news. Here are some of the search terms:

"mccain buffalo chip"
"corner punishment for wife" - wouldn't work in my house
"gay urinal stories"
"your son should be a nancy boy"
"satan in a pantsuit"

[reply]
1. 9/22/08
  
  aningeniousname
  
  "Corner punishment for wife-wouldn't work in my house" I think we have a winner!
2. 9/22/08
  
  ThriftShopRomantic
  
  I'm laughing over "Satan in a pantsuit." I think I got too many high fashion catwalk images with Satan modeling in a sassy-chic way...
3. 9/22/08
  
  aningeniousname
  
  That had to some right wing evangelical looking for information on Hillary Clinton, either that or Beelzebub the fabled prince of darkness is a secret transvestite.
4. 9/22/08
  
  xmarks
  
  Fashion reporting is a little sparse on my site. I guess I throw around words like "satan" a little too much.
5. 9/22/08
  
  Friday13
  
  Well, does the devil really wear Prada?
6. 10/14/08
  
  kdawg68
  
  "gay urinal stories" sounds like a comic book line. Marvel should pick that up.
9/22/08

barryfromtexas

On my main or business blog here are some - still not funny

sexy secretary
Sexy Leg woman
studkickass
find people cellphone site:.net detective
get deleted text messages from cell phone for free
my surveillance vehicle
Free Reverse Cell Lookup Webmasters
last update in Caylee's disaperance
read deleted text messages
how to read text msgs that are deleted
how do i read deleted text messages
dumb criminal stories
Recorder,Ashtabula,CO.,Public Notice

[reply]
1. 9/22/08
  
  ThriftShopRomantic
  
  Studkickass??!
9/22/08

Friday13

I gotta start writing more random stuff, just so I can add to this thread!

[reply]
9/28/08

Xight

I'm ranked #3 apparently for Fungal Fetish now =P

[reply]
9/28/08

clioandme

a story of a stoneman

[reply]
9/28/08

josephgelb

heat charger panels

[reply]
9/28/08

LGramlich

Some of these are just hysterical. Just wanted to thank everyone for sharing. I SOOO needed a laugh today!

[reply]
10/03/08

sellytapgirl

"i special ordered some books at barnes and noble"
"vegetarian slippers"

these are from today. weird.

[reply]
1. 10/04/08
  
  ThriftShopRomantic
  
  Vegetarian slippers?? Would that be edible footwear? Or footwear simply not made of leather or fur?
10/04/08

8MinutesOld

"curiousness of how and why to toast in c"
I don't know what that person was looking for...

[reply]
1. 10/04/08
  
  ThriftShopRomantic
  
  Wow. My "curiousness" is piqued on that one myself.
10/04/08

ThriftShopRomantic

Since someone resurrected this thread, it inspired me to look and see what new funny search terms I've got. Right now it looks like:

-Brother slept in tightie whiteys
-Trucks eating trucks
-Get me out of forth grade
-Vampire fang shops in toronto

[reply]
10/06/08

sellytapgirl

when i feel compelled
poll dancing class
what adventure do you feel compelled to follow
dance belt hygiene

[reply]
10/12/08

dougist

I put up a similar post (I left a note to come over here)

Today I got:

"look out moma thers white boat"

What were they thinking?

[reply]
10/12/08

ThriftShopRomantic

It's always fun to wonder what they were thinking? Sometimes, it's possible to figure it out. Others...

My most recent funny ones this last week seem to be:

--do folks still hate bill shatner?
--what does the poem the bell by edgar allan poe meen
--hossenfeffer big cartoon ah say boy

I love that "meen" is spelled wrong. It just adds that special something to the search phrase.

[reply]
1. 10/12/08
  
  dougist
  
  Poor Bill Shatner...
10/12/08

rmaxwell142

I have a couple of funny ones,
- "my adventure past perfect"
- "cities of the underworld jacket"'

LOL

[reply]
10/12/08

crpitt

[reply]
1. 10/12/08
  
  dougist
  
  Ouch!
2. 10/14/08
  
  kdawg68
  
  You know...I was probably one of the blow up doll searches.
3. 10/14/08
  
  crpitt
  
  That would not surprise me at all
  
  I did have two hits for midget love doll....
4. 10/14/08
  
  kdawg68
  
  True story:
  
  While searching for a fitting image to display in our "happy b-day Claire" thread, I wound up in one of your "willy" albums on flicker. I went to post one, only to discover the image was yours!
5. 10/14/08
  
  crpitt
  
  No bloody way! ahahahahahahaha
6. 10/14/08
  
  kdawg68
  
  I didn't realize until I clicked to the next picture, and it was some collage of images I've seen of you - and I was like "Claire??? WTF???"
  
  I'll see if I can find it:
  
  farm4.static.flickr.com/3098/2711812143_4265f43c89.jpg?v=0
7. 10/14/08
  
  ekim941
  
  Pfft, Claire, you know you're captivating
8. 10/14/08
  
  crpitt
  
  Thats Evil Willy
  
  And ekim you flirty sod.
9. 10/14/08
  
  ekim941
  
  I'm going to believe that "Sod" is a good thing and not just a chink of grass like it is here
  
  Thank you Claire ♥
10/14/08

sellytapgirl

"Sanjaya Malakar pulled off a practical joke on the show with the help of what comic?"

"spongebob shuffle" (admittedly, I know what this one is about I even have a post about it)

[reply]
10/14/08

juliegaffey

My favorites for www.realintheday.com

"how to grow big boobies"
"real bear crap pic"

[reply]
1. 10/15/08
  
  ThriftShopRomantic
  
  Wow, now there's search term diversity.
10/14/08

voodooKobra

www.kobrascorner.com/index.php?299

I've got a list.

[reply]
10/14/08

chateaudumer

Three seniors with problem of hearing were taking a walk on a beutiful sunny day.

The first senior says, What a sunny day today
The second one answer, no, today is Thursday
The third senior answered , Yes I am thirsty too, Lets buy some beer!

[reply]
10/14/08

ilovebettylafea

in my blog logs:

are vietnamese women ugly?

pictures of mustafa and a girl called caroline

lynda carter tits

[reply]
1. 10/15/08
  
  ThriftShopRomantic
  
  I always get a laugh when search folks get SO specific with what they're looking for.
  
  Occasionally ones will turn up with people referencing things in their own home. Like:
  
  How will blue paint look in my livingroom?
  
  And I think they're asking just a bit too much of the power of search engines.
10/15/08

freeatlast

"percentage spit or swallow"

[reply]
1. 10/15/08
  
  ilovebettylafea
  
  haha looks like a kinky stuff
10/15/08

ptitpraince

-"Johnny topless"
-"harvester accident in 1969"
-"how to build a knife"
-"naked women with caraoke chow" (who is Caraoke Chow??)
-"fat gipsy naked woman"

[reply]