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Gay & Lesbian Bloggers: Why are we kept in the Closet?
Posted by cuteptaguy • 8/24/09 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: discrimination, gay, lesbian, straight, tolerance
Being a Gay blogger I have experienced all kinds of upheaval & problems. I recently even got booted off Facebook (I believe due to malicious complaints by homophobes).
I must also say that many of my readers are straight people with which I am overjoyed with.
I would love to hear from other GLBT bloggers about what problems and challenges they face & have you post a link to your blog so we can all get introduced to each other on blogcatalog.
My BLOG:
Warfare: The Delightful and Dreary Sides of Gay Life
"The delightful and dreary sides of gay life. The views and experiences of a thirty something guy trying to navigate his way through life. Sometimes funny, sometimes serious, but always entertaining."
BLOG: warfare-delightful-dreary-life.blogspot.com/
User Comments
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Honey - your being gay isn't the reason I read your stuff.
I read your stuff because you're a good writer and you're funny.
While YOUR being gay is utmost of importance to you - IT IS NOT TO ME.
To me - to label yourself as a blogger who is GAY as if it is a BADGE - is kind of sad to me.
It takes away from the reality that YOU are a GREAT writer... Who is gay.
You are like a person who has decided that being GAY is the only thing that is IMPORTANT. As if NOTHING else is important about you.
But I find that you're hilarious and your content is great - and you're very insightful.
I wish you weren't only concerned about being GAY - as if that is the ONLY thing you are.
You're also funny - smart - cute - nice - caring - sweet - etc. etc.
You are the one who classifies yourself as GLBT - and this identity is the ONLY important thing about you. But it's NOT. You are EVERYTHING you are. Not just "gay".
(Don't get me wrong - being gay is cool for anyone who chooses or is gay and this isn't about your life or lifestyle or anything about being GAY - except that you BROADCAST it as if it is the ONLY thing about you that is important.)
And I just wanted to point out - that YOUR being GAY - isn't the most important thing about YOU - to me.
And that you are the SUM of ALL of you.
Being Gay is like being blond - or being black or white - and it is just what you are...
I'm sorry that you have had issues because you are gay - that should NEVER have happened. EVER.-
Thanks, being gay is not the most important part of me. I just recently found that many gay bloggers are ashamed of going public with their real identities. I find it sad. We can be good writers/bloggers be proud of our sexual orientation and like you pointed out if people enjoy your writting whether your gay or not will not matter. That's the point I want to get across.
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I think for most people who label themselves, the label is more important to themselves than it is to anyone who hears/sees the label. -
I have to agree, but sometimes the label is the first thing people see, so you have to own it if you want to survive.
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I see what you are trying to say which is a good point to a certain degree, but at the end you lost me when you said being gay is like being black, white, or blond. You must be straight because only a straight person who has some kind of problem with gay people would be so flip as to say it is like having blond here. Gay people need to talk about who they are and not hide especially for young gay people who need role models to look up to other than the drag queen types. When gay people are being hunted down in the Middle East and imprisoned, when gay people are denied the same marital rights as everyone else, when large groups of straight people can actually feel comfortable to lobby against us, when you consider gay teens having such a higher rate of suicide than straight teens, when you consider how gay men were treated during the early part of the AIDS epidemic, and when you see how young teenagers treat gay kids at school and on the playground.........I would think then, only an ignorant person would make such a ridiculous remark as to say it is like your hair color. -
@rad061867, you make a good point. Comparing one's sexual orientation to being the same as hair color is arrogant. Considering everything GLBT go through in other parts of the world like you pointed out one should be less superficial about the issue. I also agree with on the point of young GLBT people needing good role models, it's vitally important that they can look up to other GLBT people and see that they can have a healthy normal life.
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No gay bloggers on blogcatalog?
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There are A LOT of GLBT here on BC
Uhmmm Celtic - uhm - so are a few couple of girls... toby and maybe a couple others.
They may just not be online. -
"I recently even got booted off Facebook (I believe due to malicious complaints by homophobes)."
How do you get booted off FB by any one with maliciousness? Aren't the only people who see your page all friends?-
Nope anyone can visit your page, and some people will report you for your groups as well. Think that's what happened to me - one of my FB groups and/or page.
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If you got booted from anywhere for something, why is your first thought ("I believe due to malicious complaints by homophobes") that it is because you're gay?
I guess because I'm male, white, straight, and middle-aged (laugh), when I get booted from somewhere, my first thought is, "What did I do wrong?" I can't console myself with "maybe they hate my sex/race/sexuality/age" -- I have to consider maybe I was just a jerk. -
Because this would be the second time a homophobe maliciously reported my FB account. It has happened before and I reviewed the FB terms of service - I didn't do anything wrong. But hey, FB are so pedantic about stuff maybe I did something wrong in their new rules that I don't know off - who knows?
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You really think someone reported, "He's gay! You should close his account." I mean, even overlooking that you apparently have no evidence of this theory, you think FB would close a customer's account just for being gay?
Yet they will leave an account open for people who haven't the spelling ability of a goat? -
LOL
I have (had) several groups on FB dealing with gay issues - mostly activist issues. One group is (was) dedicated to reporting homophobic and hate speech groups and that is where my FB issues started. Some of those people didn't take kindly to having their groups reported and they started to retaliate. Hence way I think my profile was reported maliciously. Gay activism is a dirty business!
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Snicker --- goats can spell? ROFLMAO!
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I am bi-sexual though my blog is not based on this fact. I certainly wouldn't be embarassed to write about that if the opportunity came up though and there was a story worth sharing.
I do understand what your saying in a general sense though... I remember confiding in someone years ago that I was a bi-sexual woman. We had been friends for 4 years and after said conversation, she never spoke to me again.
I heard through the grapevine later on that she ended the friendship because she was disguisted by my choices and was totally freaked out that I would hit on her now that the cat was out of the bag ...
Come on, 4 years of friendship??? If I was going to hit on her, I'm sure it would have happened long before my coming out about it.
I know this is not the same thing but just wanted to share that with you and show my support.
xoxox
Bettie-
Bettie
Many people are still so ignorant about sexual orientation it makes me sick sometimes. Your experience with your friend is but one example.
That's why I think it's important for gay, lesbian, bisexual & transgendered bloggers to be more active internet communities like this. Find a voice for themselves. After all Blogcatalog (as an prime example) has always and only been good to us. Let's share our experiences, as you can see from my comments on this discussion many straight people are willing to discuss issues, engage openly & honestly - I find it very refreshing! -
ROFLMAO - that's actually funny - what a freaking loser friend.
Dang - well tell you what - I don't care what ANYONE is sexually. If someone hits on me - and I am not interested (regardless, male female goat horse dog... LOL) I'll be flattered... except the horse I'd just be flat...
I can say no... (or yes - GRIN) But I'll be smiling that I turned someone else on and made them interested regardless of who they are. -
LOL, I draw the line at animals ;-) Humans flattering yes, Animals NO!
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it is very nice to see people willing to discuss things and have an open mind, pta
thanks for replying!
Wager, I totally respect that, but I may get you drunk so I can run around in your hat for a bit
Bettie -
It is quite nice Bettie, after all we are not living in the dark ages anymore.
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I'm also a newbie, only started my blog 8 months ago. The more you get into blogging and the more blogs you read the better your own will become.
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cuteptaguy: This thread prompted me -- brought the memory to mind -- to write this short series on my experience once going to a gay/lesbian night club.
www.totalbullgrit.com/2009/08/25/the-gay-lifestyle-part-1/-
Cool, going to read it "straight" away.
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BTW: I have recent;y discovered that the majority of the Blog Award competitions internationally doesn't have a Gay category, why is that?
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Is there a Good Ol' Boy category? How about gamer geek category?
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gamer geek? be still my heart
there should also be a boring middleaged woman catagory for old frumps like me.
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I'm proudly bisexual, though it doesn't come across in my blog per se, my Isms and Ologies can enter into all sorts of relationships. I already have a lesbian couple, Veganism and Vegetarianism, and a gay couple is not only possible but probable.
It doesn't affect my blog as much because my blog is both not directly about me and not particularly popular. I think I have an accessibility problem.
But if the blogger is gay, that fact will influence the blog more than you think. It isn't as simple as just "your sex life"-- it's a sex life with a long history of suppression and small political victories. There's good and bad, and at least part of it becomes part of your identity. It affects how you interact with other people, and the unique part of blogging is interaction.
Unless you have no readers. Then, you just skate through blogging life, sipping your White Russians and getting your rug peed on. -
That's an interesting take on the issue. What do you think will happen when your blog becomes more popular?
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Well it took a while my blog to be approved so i can comment now...
I am lesbian and in fact i have never had bad experience on the internet. Actually i have never had bad experiences in "real" life either, apart from one issue on the tram stop when some drunkard pushed me and my gf yelling "out of my way wankers", and then started to search the trash bin (how respectable isnt it)...
But thats a wee bit out of topic isnt it. I dont write about my orientation in particular. Just write about relationships (mostly mine) and love sometimes or whatever crosses my mind, as anybody else, no matter if its gay, lesbian or heterosexual.... And if anybody has problem with me - and its not my best friend - i honestly dont give a fuck -
I have had some incidents on the internet (Facebook) where haters send me nasty messages, but I take such things from whom they come. My blog deals with gay life, but I must also admit that what I write isn't always predominantly about gay issues. I am also pleasantly surprised with the growing number of regular heterosexual readers I am getting. I also agree if people has a problem with me, my blog or my life I am not going to loose any sleep over it.
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Almost all life forms on Planet Earth are heterosexual although throughout history their have been a very small minority of gay humans...
Gay people pose zero threat to the heterosexuality of mankind and should not be discriminated against...
People should be judged by the content of their character...-
Couldn't agree more!
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Almost every animal we study extensively eventually exhibits some form of homosexuality in at least one of its members. -
We see this in Zoo's all the time in South Africa we have a gay penguin couple that have just raised their first adopted child reared from a fertalized egg. Quite astounding!
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you go gerry -
So far as reading a blog, a book, a magazine article, etc... I could care less if the person writing is or is not a homosexual.
If the topic is one I am interested in and the author has crafted something I find worth reading, then I read.
If a blog is devoted to the topic of life as a homosexual, there is very little chance I am going to read it. It's a topic I do not care little about.
So I do not, not read homosexual related blogs because I am a homophobe (I have no doubt I qualify as a homophobe) but because it's not something I wish to read of.
If you blog exclusively or nearly exclusively about the life of a homosexual, I believe you've limited your potential audience right away.
Isn't there some kind of available source which catalogs or brings together homosexual blogs and bloggers?
If there isn't (and I'm sure there is) I'd be all over creating one if I were you.-
Thanks for your insight. Even though my blog is based on a gay guy's perspective I do not exclusively deal with gay issues but believe the angle I'm writing from makes my blog unique and accessible to both the gay & straight audience, but you the judge of that. One can never truly be objective about your own work.
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That is a ridiculous argument. If the hole population was gay (which to your great relieve it is not) we would still be able to procreate - can you say "artificial insemination"? As for being open about my sexual orientation I see nothing wrong with it, do you want people like me to go hide in the closet? Aren't we allowed to voice our opinions and share our views like everybody else?
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wow wheeeee dude, for someone who thinks being gay is such a bad idea you sure seem to know alot about thier lifestyles dontcha??
Where do you get off assuming that all gay people cheat? I don't think cheating is based on sexual preference, it is based in selfishness and nothing more.
And yes, I am totally sure that pta has chosen to write about gay issues because he wants to recruit you all into his gay kingdom (dripping with sarcasm) get a grip on reality stu. -
I always wanted to run my own gay terrorism network bettieblogger, baby steps - 1st blogcatalog THEN THE WORLD!
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I'm borderline-straight. I don't consider it anyone else's business that I'm not absolutely straight in the same regard that I don't consider it my business what another person's natural hair color is. I just don't give a shit. It doesn't affect me.
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Borderline-straight, that's funny.
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WHAT???? Do these people have nothing better to do with their lives?
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I guess it's still a very sensitive topic for people to speak out loud ....some people can handle it ...... your readers might like your style of writing and expressing ur thoughts they might not be reading ur blog just because you are gay (i think) ......-
I have many straight readers, and yes I know they read it due to the content and my sexual orientation only plays a small part. However when it comes to serious issues like my recent post about Caster Semenya (the intersex athlete) the subject matter makes them uncomfortable.
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I think one should not be judged if they are gay or lesbian. We should respect every human being equally be it poor, rich, beautiful , ugly , lesbian, gay etc etc.
We should respect each and every once choice,-
I agree 100% percent, but then again I am biased.
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I am a lesbian who has a lesbian themed blog, not porn. And I must say I agree with you. The fact that I have lesbian in my url seems to automatically close some doors. But I don't get too het up about it. We have come a long way after all and it just reminds me what ground there still is to gain-
So true, we will have to keep on braking the barriers and stereotypes.
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It is a sensitive topic for a lot of people-still. And although I am gay, I don't really write about it since well...it's about music and other stuff. I don't mind is a musician is gay as long as his works are excellent then I would write about it. Or maybe I have been lax about the issue when I should be putting emphasis to it...anyhow that remains to be seen. But your thread opened my eyes to a lot of things happening to me as well especially with regards to my priorities.Oh well I shall be doing a lot of soul searching later.-
As gay bloggers we don't have to just focus on our sexual orientation. I just was surprised how many gay bloggers out there who write about other topics refrain from acknowledging their sexual orientation on their blogs. It appears as if they were fearful that their readers would abandon their blogs if they found out.
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I don't feel the need to place a little "bi girl" label on my chest or announce it on my blog, as I consider myself simply a sexual being and hate the need for a label to make others more comfortable.
I can honestly say in the whole time I have been blogging and reading blogs (my god - two whole months - aren't I an expert lol)I haven't thought about who the bloggers I read sleep with (unless that's what their blog is about lol)
I read if I find a topic interesting - I return if the writer is good -
That's what I like to hear, it's all about the content!
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Well, since the question was asked, I am gay. However, I really do not flaunt it, if you will, because I do not feel the need to. If I am writing on a particular subject, like same-sex marriage, then I may mention it so that I may convey my point more clearly.
I also have a variety of readers and many of my readers are heterosexual. Many of my readers are even conservative so this only furthers my belief that my sexual orientation is irrelevant to my blog as a whole. However, if stating openly that I am gay is something that will inspire others then I will gladly say it.
However, I choose to define myself as more than being gay. In fact, I find that being gay is an extremely small part of who I am as a whole. But to answer your question, I am a gay man, and anyone is free to visit my blog at anytime.
As for any "problems" I have faced in my blog(s). I have received hate mail and such once or twice but nothing that was so major that it caused me any stress. To be honest, I read it and laughed and that was the end of it.-
ReneMonroe I think you have a good attitude with regard to your sexual orientation. Even though my blog title deals with "gay life" in itself suggesting a niche reader group, I also try and move beyond just GLBT issues. However when something of particular interest to the GLBT community pops up I do deal with it.
I have found that being GLBT focused I have gained many readers from countries where GLBT people are oppressed such as Pakistan, Afghanistan, Saudi Arabia, Egypt, Malaysia and several African countries. I also feel it is important to show these readers that they can live a proud life and that there is nothing wrong with them. GLBT bloggers play an important role in helping other homosexual people by setting an example. Luckily, thus far my blog have only been blocked in two countries, but there are many gay bloggers out there and these countries can't block us all.
With regards to hate mail. I get about 2-5 a month. Some are really abusive and do get to me, but in general I just find them annoying and usually do not get upset by them anymore. -
@cuteptaguy I have read your blog few times and I really like it. In fact, I really enjoyed your blog on Caster Semenya. I believe in the basic premise of your message about being able to live a proud and open life. I have noticed that your blog delves into many issues and not simply those concerning the GLBT community.
I too try and tackle an issue when it comes up. I wrote a, I feel, wonderful blog about the passing of Prop 8. I personally choose to delve more into politics and society while focusing on the lack of free thought that is, I feel, at the center of most of the social problems we face here in America as well as abroad.
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I have not been in the closet in many, many, many years and make no secret of being gay on my blog or in these forums, but honestly it really isn't the most interesting thing about me and except for occasionally raising a few feathers amongst the less evolved I really don't feel I've been discriminated against as a gay blogger. obviously, others mileage may vary.-
Are you still in the closet?
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That was the first thing he answered and his answer was no.
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im still in the closet and dont ever plan to come out, i also got kicked off facebook, tried to login one day and my account was gone-
Someday I am sure you will venture out of the closet and discover a whole new world out there.
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I'd like to keep 2 hot lesbians in my closet. Well, ok make that bi girls.-
LoL, that is so a heterosexual fantasy ;-)
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