Discussions
Have you ever felt betrayed?
Posted by footiam • 11/28/07 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: betray, feelings
I just surfed the net and someone posed that question: How do you feel when betrayed by someone dear?
Have you ever felt betrayed and when do you feel betrayed? How do you deal with it?
User Comments
-
I guess no body ever felt betrayed!
-
i think we feel more betrayed when we let ourselves down -
That could be the worst thing that could happen to anyone, betrayed by oneself!
-
it's very common...people make plans . e.g. new years resolutions are good examples
-
-
People don't expect so much from oneself but expect a lot from others, I guess.
-
I expect the same from others if I can respect them. If I can't get it in return then maybe from that individual I was asking more than they can give.
-
-
It hurts, you heal and hopefully you will not hate, and move on... that's how i have dealt with it. It's weird because I had a big blow a year ago now and it's funny how the ones who betrayed me want to "love" me again.
I just do it from a distance and feel so much better because I no longer hurt anymore by someone who had no Idea what love really means anyway.
It feels great to me...-
i think we always expect something from others, otherwise there won't be this feeling of being betrayed.
-
Many people are afraid to talk about this, I suppose.
-
-
Its funny you should ask this question this time of year.
Well jesus was betrayed by judes, jesus forgave judes inspite of what he did.
I think you always have to forgive someone, doesn't mean you have to be his or her friend again, but forgiveness is always good. I think everyone has felt betrayed at one time or another its all part of life I suppose-
Even Jesus was betrayed. So, I suppose all of us feel betrayed at one time or another.
-
Many modern biblical scholars believe that Judas didn't truly betray Jesus. Some think Judas was actually acting on Jesus' behalf because until he was arrested and crucified, Jesus could not fulfill his destiny.
-
-
I think you have to see the other person's perspective. If they are just evil, let them go and never look back. Otherwise, I guarantee they had some hard core self rationalization about their behaviour.
I also think you should discuss it with the person.-
Maybe, It could be us who do the betraying. Just that, we are not aware of it.
-
-
I do think a lot of people don't like to talk about this subject.
-
I'm sure everyone has felt betrayed in one form or another and the one that hurts most, is when you deeply loved that person.
Most importantly is what comes afterwards " The Healing or Recovering Process" which can take a long time. Perhaps, people don't like speaking about
"being betrayed" b/c the womb is still open and the very thought of it still hurts.
-
-
Anyone feel betrayed lately?
-
My best friend slandered my reputation behind my back, after all i did to him... #$%^&* i hate him.. but.. heh, ce la vie.. we live in a cruel world.. so, what can i say except #$%^& 'em
-
-
I feel betrayed by my own ex-boss after what I have done to him for more than 10 years. I feel not being appreciated enough so I quit my job and become a full time blogger and working as a freelance designer since three years ago.-
Being betrayed by a boss is a hurtful experience. At least, you are strong enough to walk away!
-
Sorry to here that. Hey, it looks like you got the last laugh in the end as a freelancer smelling the flowers!
-
-
YESS! ouch it's pain-
If you think it's a lesson to tell you who your friend is, then it's not so painful. In fact, it's just a cheap price to pay for a valuable lesson.
-
the reason was he is betrayed me because of greedy, backstabber and selfish. And this is all because of money
i was contribute 100% but get 0% in returned.
-
-
I feel betrayed everyday that Paris Hilton is making more money than me.
Life is so unfair-
I second that.
-
-
I have been betrayed and rejected by my family. I feel that I might as well not exist because most of them hate me so much. I resolved it by moving 2700 miles away from them and have not spoken to them in 5 years. -
Is 'feeling' betrayed the same as 'being' betrayed. Betrayal is a crime against trust-
might as well be. The hurt is the same.
-
-
I feel betrayed 10 times a day. Else I wouldn't be paranoid, and able to write about con men.-
I'll get paranoid too!
-
-
Now THAT'S the point mlinauer I totally agree - its the affect it has either way. Is it possible to get thoruhg life without trusting anything at all I wonder...
-
I felt betrayed when a guy I was seeing called another girl from my bathroom. He even said he loved and missed her.
I don't think I've ever felt such rage.-
I'll flush him down the toilet. I hope you would too.
-
-
I've felt betrayed a few times in life, but mostly during my teen years and the feeling shouldn't have lasted as long as it did back then. -
Yes, this morning I bought an egg and "bacon" sandwich. But when I opened it, this supposed bacony treat contained just one slice of bacon!!! One slice in my humble opinion does not constitute a bacon sandwich.
Betrayal comes in many forms but I think most people would agree with me that this is one of the most soul destroying.-
Anin! Talk about betrayal! You said bacon and egg?? You cannibal!
(Ok, I'm only kidding, I know you're a freaking aardvark) But I still think you kinda look like a pig!
-
-
When the guy I dated for 5 months at 16 cheated on me and bragged about it to all my friends. -
Yes, I felt betrayed. You know what's the painful thing of being betrayed? It is when you never expected that the people you consider as special will make fun of you. It is when they think it is JUST a funny thing to do well in fact it hurts you. That is why I use to defend someone whom I think is being betrayed because I know how it feels.
-
betrayal is inevitable... but we can only be affected by such when we expect too much
I've been betrayed several times and it's because i let myself to...
I guess i learned my lesson and that is to leave something for myself... -
Expect nothing. That usually avoids feeling betrayed.-
MTJ, I definitely agree with this; however, it is easier said than done!
Plus, shouldn't we hold certain people to certain standards? Such as spouses, friends or leaders in government or other areas of the community. I agree with a lot of things you say, so I'd like to hear your perspective on this because perhaps it will open my eyes to think about the subject differently. -
I explained further below.
-
People can help but expect something,I suppose.
-
-
My gram passed away. When my 2 aunts got to the house they began to misbehave. They raided my grams room like a couple of looters. I don't think my gram would have wanted it this way. I had expected more of my grams daughters. They're family to say expect nothing means the same of your family. I can't do that. I expected talk and remembrance. Instead there was fighting and stealing.-
If you "can't do that", then you will feel this feeling of betrayal. You expected them to behave differently then they did. You think they "ought" of not done that. Had you of not had this expectation of how they ought to act, you wouldn't have felt the betrayal.
The point is, the blame can not only be put on those we feel are betraying us. For it is our own expectations that we are judging by. When our expectations are not met, we feel betrayed. -
MTJ, Your very last sentence is an excellent point. I mentioned this very thing yesterday in a discussion about marriage. The main reason I feel marriages fail when they do is because the individuals, or the marriage itself did not meet their expectations. You're therefore left with disappointment and often a feeling of betrayal.
If you do not subject expectations onto the person they are marrying, they can not disappoint. Yet, I don't think that is necessarily a realistic perspective. -
Precisely, it's not realistic. You expect love and kindness from your family. That's the way it's supposed to be and as a family you have to learn how to meet those expectations. Otherwise you have disfunction. If we as a society can learn to talk instead of be destructive there wouldn't be betrayal.
-
Shiley said, "that is the way it is supposed to be."
Yet another expectation. Who has the final authority on how things "ought to be? What I have said IS realistic. That is the reality. I'm only pointing it out. Just becuase we have expectations of society which we enforce with laws and consequences in an attempt to try to maintain some level of control doesn't negate the fact that it is because of these expecations that when they are not met it causes these feelings of betrayal. Just because we think we need expectations to maintain what we feel is orderly, it doesn't disprove my point.
Shiley said, "If we as a society can learn to talk instead of be destructive there wouldn't be betrayal."
Yes there would, for there not to be feelings of betrayal, we would all have to have the same expectations and adhere to them. If someone was talking to you and told you some BS and you believed it, then later found out it wasn't true, you would feel betrayed. You expected them to be honest with you. Even in talks there can be betrayal. It is the expectations that would have to be removed. Which probably wont ever happen, so there will always be feelings of betrayal to go with it. -
Right, MTJ. That was my point--that I agree with you completely in theory. Yet it's the practice I find unlikely.
You bring up another very interesting point about believing what people tell you. This is yet another issue in my marriage. I have gotten screwed and/or made poor judgment calls based on taking to heart what my husband tells me. Even if the information he gives isn't intentionally inaccurate, misinformation is misinformation. And while I have felt a lot of anger toward his assured answers which sometimes prove to be inaccurate or biased, I am more angry at myself since it is ultimately my responsibility whether or not to believe something indisputably.
The problem is, if you can't trust someone to give you true and accurate information, then you may as well not communicate with them at all. I don't have the time to double-check every single fact I hear via word-of-mouth.
It kinda sucks! -
BloggerExposed, this isn't something one would really have to "practice." One only needs to "understand" it. The understanding makes one, well, more understanding.
I agree with you on having a healthy amount of skeptism in regards to what people tell you. Sorry things haven't worked out with your husband, but I think its good you are acknowledging that things are not working out, understanding why, and moving on.
-
-
yes and after the anger I looked at what role I played in the friendship and how I excused the red flags because I "needed" a friend. Never again, so in a way I got a gift. I learned something very valuable from the experience.-
At least it is a lesson well learned.
-
-
I've felt betrayed before (more than once). I'm sure everyone here has.-
We are all human.
-
-
I think everyone has been betrayed at some point in there life. Its all about how you deal with it. I think being betrayed by family is the worst of all and hurts the most. I know first hand.-
I guess our family members will feel as hurt if we are the one who does the betraying.
-
-
i felt -
betrayal leaves a bitter taste in your mouth -
sure, but it is all good, people who don't know any better, can't do any better, so I forgave them wished them the best and decided to delight in each heartbeat I am granted.
-
Yeah I have. I'm pretty clear with the person when they do betray me. When I get angry, it really isn't pretty, but after a while I forget about it as well as the person. If the person made a mistake, I try to forgive. Most of the times, however, I just stop talking to the person. I'd rather not have the person that betrayed me in my life. I'd rather much move on.-
I'd do the same thing too. Why bother with people who don't value you=
-
-
Sometimes I think betrayal is the single most personal offense that can be made.
It's easy to say just don't expect so much and you won't be too disappointed. I employ that thought process as a general rule. But I think the reality is that everyone has to have SOMETHING that they believe in. And when that thing betrays them, it's so deeply personal and sooo hard to recover from. We don't want to be bitter all our lives (aka 'not expecting much') nor do we want to be naive. So you end up completely messed up, not knowing anything anymore. The aftermath is a feeling of being completely helpless and utterly lost in your own world that once brought you comfort.
It's horrible!
People... if you make a promise... KEEP IT. If you know yourself AT ALL.. and you know you are weak... DON'T MAKE THE PROMISE.
I am a cynical person. Yet I have taken promises to heart and put my faith in them. I don't think it's entirely fair to blame the trusting for the fallacies of the weak.-
I am bound to agree with you! The best thing perhaps is not to promise!
-
-
There is a considerable difference between feeling betrayed and actually being betrayed. Some of us cannot tell the difference and end up blaming others for hurt feelings.
-
It is good to be able to tell the difference.
-
-
Yap. Especially by our politicians ...
Add Your Comment
Login to leave a message.
