Discussions
Help!?
Posted by LolitaV • 10/20/09 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: i am so sad!!
I am devastated.
I Found out today that my daughter (who speaks 4 languages, can read and write her name, tie her shoes, is potty trained and dresses herself, etc...) misses the cut off age (in my state) for kindergarten by 18 days.
I cannot let her get held back in preK for another year since her teach showed me her state testing and kids her age should max get 20 points and she got 24 (she is very smart)
My options I think are, move to a state that allows her to go to Kindergarten next year or send her to Private school (waiting for another year is no option)
What do I do?
User Comments
-
did you just want to brag about your daughter?-
oh db no, I have never been serious in BC but today, I am. This is the worst thing that could ever happen. If i accept it, she'll graduate High school at 20!!!! and she loves to learn, I am afraid if i give in easy, she'll just get bored and do badly in skool.
-
There is no way she would graduate high school at 20 unless she got held back 2 years.
www.cde.ca.gov/ci/gs/em/kinderinfo.asp -
she graduates at 19 and turns 20 less than 4 months later.
-
Age-Eligible Children: Districts must admit children at the beginning of the school year (or whenever they move into a district) if they will be five years of age on or before December 2 of the school year (EC Section 48000[a]). Children who are age-eligible for kindergarten may attend any prekindergarten summer program maintained by the school district. Information about items constituting proof of age supplied by parent or guardian is found in EC Section 48002. Immunization requirements are found in Health and Safety Code Section 120325 and Section 120335 and on CDE's Factbook Web page.
-
what's this^^?
-
California law
-
...
-
I thought you said you were in cali... *sigh*
"Children who are not 5 years old by the cut-off date must wait until the following year to start kindergarten in their district. If your child misses the cut-off date by a few days, you should check with your school superintendent to see if the cut-off date is flexible. You may also be able to enroll your child in a charter school or an out-of-district "school choice" kindergarten program with a later cut-off date."
MA is by district, not state. And it also says that kindergarten is optional. So you could keep her in pre-k and then put her in 1st grade -
Also Kansas cut off is 5 by August 31, my bday is in october so I started 'a year later'
-
I was held back because there was no school that year where I grew up
it kills me to think about it. ARGGG!!!
-
-
How old is preK?-
prek is 4. next year, 18 days after school starts (when she should be in K.), she turns 5, but because she turns 5 ater school starts, she is going to be held back. so she has to attend K. at 6??? and graduate HS at 20!
-
in NY the cut off date wasn't until October. At least back when my youngest was registered for K.
-
-
Hmm... well my mother entered me into kindergarten at an age younger than the cutoff age. From what I understand she reasoned that I was smart enough and could handle it. Perhaps these people can use their better judgment rather than following guidelines like mindless robots if you try and reason with them.-
no, it's the LAW in my state
-
Wow, that's horrible. I was 4 also when I entered K. But, 6, that's too much.
-
her teach told me that she will have to be in their class next year. When all/most of her friends go to kindergarten. she'll be stuck 1 grade behind!!!!
-
-
Why, exactly, can't she wait another year? I assume you'd be teaching her at home as you have been. How is it going to hurt her to wait?
I'm not trying to slam you, I just really don't see the problem. You're obviously already working with her a lot. I've chosen to let my kids be kids until they go to school, teaching them reading and writing but not obsessing over a formal environment. In my opinion, they have plenty of time for that as they get older.
I just read your reply to Derek and am a bit confused. Have the increased the Kindergarten age to seven? How else could it take her until 20 to graduate from 12th grade? In my world, that's grades 1-12 plus another year for K, which makes 13 plus the age at which she starts. I hear you on the "bored" issue, but that's something that you'll face no matter when she starts. We've been fighting it with my eldest for four years.-
actually i don't teach them. All i insisted is she writes her name. The rest, she learned from watching "Your baby can read" and interacting with my large family.
It hurts to wait because I don't want her to feel like I did when I went through this. It sucks to be smart, be stuck in a class filled with kids younger than you specially when you are "advanced". -
I would argue that when it comes to school it would be worse to be the youngest kid in class. Everyone will be taller than you, faster than you, mature before you... as a teenager they will be driving before you. that coupled with your suggestion that she would be picked on for being smarter would in my opinion be more damaging than being the smarter, faster, more mature kid in the class.
-
-
Go and kick there asses. This will solve everything and it will make a interesting blog post.-
I can't. So many parents go through this, they say the reason is that while some kids don't need to be held back because of the cut off age, others do. so they just hold every1 back.
private Kindergarten is 5k, how can I afford that!!!
-
-
Does it really hurts to be smart , be stuck in a class filled with kids younger than you especially when you are " advanced"?????
I earned a full scholarship from my high school to university. I really do not think that I ever feel HURT in any ways.I am from a so called THIRD WORLD COUNTRY where ALMOST EVERYONE CAN HANDLE THREE OR FOUR LANGUAGES TO SURVIVE. YOU ARE NOT SO SPECIAL AND PLEASE DO NOT IMPRINT ON YOUR CHILD THAT SHE IS TOO AS ...PEOPLE NORMAL LIKE ME...I REALLY DO NOT FIND THAT ATTRACTIVE AT ALL. IT HURTS TO READ HOW YOUR BRAG. AMEN!-
The Caps Lock key must be stuck
-
Shakira, I guess you do not know me. I am not bragging because like you, where I am from, it is normal for someone to handle more than 4 languages and "still be normal".
English is not my first, second or third language. It is my 4th. I learned it in 2002. Like you, I was born and raised in a Third world country where most people don't get the opportunities life in the US affords me today. Please do not confuse my dismay and 100% involvement in my child's future and education as me bragging.
I am worried because I come from a place where we want, dream and leave everything behind for a chance at the American dream, because we can't dream such dreams in our country and see them realized (unless you have money or connections) a dream where our children can have everything we lacked growing up, the opportunities that would make us stay home.
I want the best or my daughter and son, I want her to take 1000% advantage of the opportunities her being born in this country puts in her way that I lacked to get to where I wanted.
And no, I am not special and neither is my child for you, but I am not gonna stand by and have her be held back because she was born 18 days after a cut off date that shouldn't be. a cut off date that she does not need.
PS: I imprint on my children how special they are. Because with hard work, dedication, discipline and self respect, they will get to the top.
Don't talk to me like you know me, because YOU DO NOT! In fact, you have no clue. so take your words, and shove them deep right where the sun don't shine!
-
-
Um... can you homeschool for K and then enter her in 1st. Or, do they have options to advance a grade level once enrolled?
-
i asked but someone told me that I need to get certified or credentials Im not sure.
I just had it all planned in my head. she'd graduate at 17, turn 18 in time for college, do great, grow up, live the American dream, get married, have kids, lol!! -
Well, here's the flipside of entering your child in school very young. I graduated HS at age 16 and was given the keys to my life. Needless to say, at that age, I wasn't a very responsible. Sometimes I wish I would have been held back. I think I would have been more mature.
-
Trail let's say my daughter graduates at 16, college will still be the next step for her. I play w. a lot of things, their education/future is not one of them. I plan on being there every step of the way to make sure that they get (whether they like it or not) what me, my mother and grandmother dreamed of but couldn't have. My grandmother wasn't allowed to go to school because she was a girl. My mother had to leave school to get married and I still can't afford to finish.
-
I think she's a little young yet for you to be shipping her off to college in your mind. Personally, I think that the fact that she'll be a few months older than many of her classmates doesn't mean a blessed thing. The kids who barely made the cutoff but were sent when they weren't ready to go are going to have a much tougher time of it than the ones who start a year later. Look into Derek's suggestion of keeping her in Pre-K for another year and then starting her in 1st, if you think she can handle skipping the basics, but I think you're making a mountain out of a molehill.
-
LEg, I understand I guess daydreaming about the best possible future for your child is normal for any parent and mine is to see them succeed both in their personal and work lives. The fact that she will be off to college at 20 might not mean nothing to you, it does to me because I am her mother and don't want that for her just like I know she will not want it for herself. The reason why I am making a mountain out of a molehill is because knowing my daughter, I know that she will have a harder time being UNDESERVEDLY held back than she would if she is sent to K. with her peers.
-
I beg your pardon, but you've twice insulted me now. I'm glad to know you think I'm not bright enough to have suffered boredom in school or to want the best possible education and future for my children. I can only hope that you did not intend to do so.
You've got her graduating from high school at 16 if she starts when you want her to and at 20 if she doesn't. I'm just trying to point out that the difference is a single year and that being a bit more mature when she begins college will be all to the good, particularly if she moves out of your home. -
Leg, if she starts at 4 she will be 17 when she grads. I skipped a year on top of starting early, thats how I grad'd at 16, and that's why she said 16. She was just going along w/ my scenario.
-
leg, feeling insulted is your choice. I think some re-reading is in order.
-
If she's four when she starts and turns five 12 days later, she'll be 17 when she graduates. If she's 5 when she starts and turns six 12 days later she'll be 18 when she graduates.
Lolita, you've talked down to me twice, implying by your explanation of how frustrating it was to be in regular classes when you're advanced and about how you wanting the best for your child even though I don't understand it, and that's to what I was reacting. I don't think that it was intentional, nor do I think it's accurate, but I do think that it was implied in what you wrote. -
Leg, one thing about me; I NEVER imply. I say what I mean and I always mean what I say. I type the way I speak and if you re-read what I wrote, I never said anything anywhere about your understanding. I never assume and also if you re-read what I wrote, you will see that I took your advice into consideration. Even though I don't agree with it because it is the option the school is currently offering my daughter.
-
What State Are You in?? Look at your state laws. HSLDA has them at a click of a mouse for every state: www.hslda.org/laws/default.asp
-
-
Home School her. That is what I am saying. I am my son. He is smart why let a public school ruin it.-
Yes, go kick there asses then home school her!
-
how do I do that. I am not sure I am capable or have the focus (I might have adhd, lol)
-
It is not that hard. What state do you live in? There are web sites that tell you how to go about it. If you live in Tennessee i can help you,
-
-
Thank you so much for sharing. I must apologize for my thoughts. You think you have ADHD, so do my kids! Both my daughters are home school but they do get involved in music and sports.
I really feel you already know what to do. You may just need to know if there are BETTER ALTERNATIVES,right? Home schooling is a very good alternative. If she is above average, trust me, like my kids, they will feel weird most of the time. That is what prompted my eldest, 17, to think she maybe ADHD.She is a Nephrotic Syndrome child, she is pretty smart but most time, more a smart alec!
I am advising my kids to take off a year or two to travel. I really see that as good for their life experiences and that they will learn to enjoy life more and hopefully find something that they would like to do as a career.
Again we have gone through life with some challenges as they were abused.So, life perspectives are different.
All the best. Know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE.GOD BLESS. -
If you want to know more about homeschooling... check them out here
homeschooling.about.com/od/legal/Staying_Legal_Homeschool_Laws_and_Requirem...
Nothing is impossible but you got to be REALISTIC.
I went to College when I was 15. I do look at schooling very differently.
Hey, sorry about my caps...my keyboard was stucked.lol-
Thanks Shakira. I just wanted to know that there are other alternatives besides waiting.
-
-
18 days?! That's nothing. Can you not just talk to the Kindergarten and get them to bend the rules?-
they won't. i read online though that talking to the school board might help. I am ready to do anything it takes. Even move to another state. I know CT has a January or December deadline. What worries me is that my son was born in November (he is two and talks and recognizes words because of the "your baby can read" program). So I need a solution for him two. Some kids are babies until they are 6 and others just are not and I will do whatever I can. Thanks for your advice.
-
-
Can't she just continue in pre-k now and then be put in 1st grade next yr. It was my understanding that kindergarten is not a mandatory class.
Also I don't truly understand the "issue" with her being placed in kindergarten next yr either because I'm quite positive she won't be the only 6yr old as she is probably not the only child whose birthday falls shortly after the cut-off date. In addition if she is very advanced and light yrs beyond her peers I imagine the school district will feel compelled to place her in classes with kids equally talented or skip her to the next grade so she isn't left feeling out of place as other children try to catch up.
Also and this is just a side note question why would she graduate hs at 20 if she started a yr late? -
Go with where you feel she is maturity wise as far as going to school. If you really believe she is ready for school, then you should do everything you can to make sure she goes.
I do know something about this too--I am a child psychologist, primarily (although I mostly have worked with troubled kids).
Kids are all different and some are ready for school at a much younger chronological age than other kids are--and I think it is a detriment to kids to have strict rules--I honestly believe that kids should be assessed on several different levels to determine if they are ready. It's so important to start kids off when they are going to show interest in school, can deal with the demands of school, and that they are placed at a level where they won't be either overwhelmed or bored to tears.
Good luck, Lolita!-
thank you so much Melinda. I know in my heart of hearts that she does not belong in preK for the second time. Even her 2 teachers said so. To some a year wasted is nothing, to me, as her mom. It is.
-
-
I really don't see how Lolita is "bragging" ... If my 4 year old was that advanced, I would be very very proud. It's not like she is saying to so and so .. " your kid is stupid and mine is brilliant" get off your high horses people lol ... geez.
As for your situation, Lolita, hopefully you can talk directly with the schoolboard and come to an understanding. As a mum myself, I do understand your frustration and really ... if your daughter works this hard at such a young age, it would indeed, be a shame to see her held back.
I wish you the best of luck.-
I will most certainly not get off of my high horse. ;p
-
I highlighted this to show that she does not belong in prek when she is ready for kindergarten as we speak. I would not see the point in bragging to people who don't even know me irl, lol!
Thanks B. I plan on talking to the school board first and if nothing can be done, i'll slave to pay her tuition or teach her myself if possible. -
yvw ma dear!
-
-
lol why not?
-
Because you guys stink, and being way up here I get fresh air
-
-
don't make me sick Ach & Dr Chicken on you, D!
-
Ache is my sugar momma
-
-
She wouldn't even make you a sammich dude ... that's just sad.
-
that's why I keep Dr.Chicken around ;p
-
-
indeed ... hehe
-
Seems odd to me (not that there's a lack of "odd" laws in each state - I believe I'm not lawfully able to lasso an elephant on the third Tuesday of each month here)- but if private school is doable, I'd be inclined to look that route anyway.-
i think it's so stupid. Even if they keep the law, at least give parents the option to have their kids tested to see if they are able to join their peers in Kindergarten.
-
Totally agree - especially since kids develop at different paces based partly on genetics, partly on environment, and partly on experience/opportunity.
I recall kids being in advanced grades all through my school years.
Just keep her away from those nasty 5th graders. :-)
-
-
umm..homeschool her, cause then you don't have to be held back by what "they" say you must do. LOL
As a mother myself, I know how that must suck for you to see your daughter being limited by her "age", because lets face it age is just a number, and in the "real" life, post school, it won't matter. You know?? -
Write to your Governor, state senator, or representative. Often these people are capable of getting things like this straightened out (without resorting to legislation, but rather by throwing some weight around) if they are willing to. Be persuasive, calmly explain the situation... don't call the principal a worthless two-bit hack
-
MA doesnt have state laws for schools. It's all by the district. Superintendent is the way to go
-
they have a governor and a state assembly.
-
well I was told that because her birthday misses the deadline by 18 days, she is to stay in prek next year at 5 (age when kids go to K.) then when she is 6, she is to be in k. and when at 7 she goes to 1rst grade. Then she will graduate at 19 and turn 20 a few months later, just in time to go to college and finish that at 25? That's fvcked up!!! She is tall and she will be the oldest and most likely tallest in her classes.
Im gonna make phone calls tomorrow because I frankly don't see why she has to waste one year because i went into labor 18 days after their preferred day! -
yeah it is rediculous. it doesn't help her. And it doesn't help the other kids. Completely moronic. Kids should be placed where they score. period.
-
-
Lie about her age and get her in. Once 18 days are up it's OK
BTW.. this is what I missed in my own life: I grew up with younger kids. And my latest blog post also is about the same: Some things in life are worth fighting for!
Add Your Comment
Login to leave a message.
