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How do you deal with rejection?
Posted by ArsenicCookies • 5/25/09 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: odd quirks, rejection
Today I wrote a post on this weird thing that my mind does in unpleasant situations
www.secretlivesofmilfs.com/casey/2009/05/25/friends-after-rejection-i-think...
It's kind of odd, basically if I get rejected I imagine a really offbeat scenario (much like the one described) and use it as an excuse to never speak to the person again. Call it pride or in need of medication, doesn't matter to me, that's just how I roll haha
How do you deal with rejection?
Does your approach differ if it is professional rejection as opposed too personal?
Are you able to remain friendly if someone rejects you?
User Comments
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Since I ALWAYS want to be happy and never sad, I tend to dismiss everything that is unpleasant and simply refuse to think about it. If I happen to have angry or self-deprecating thoughts, I treat them as alien beings invading my consciousness, stare at them indifferently, and patiently wait for them to disappear. Meanwhile, I'm looking at the people and things all around me, reminding myself how absolutely wonderful it is just to be alive.-
what a great attitude
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No, I'm a total grump
I destroy objects -
As a writer, you have to learn to accept rejection and act professionally. But down deep, every little negative comment, much less (GASP!) actual rejection still hurts.
www.i-cant-believe-im-not-bitter.com -
Just shoot them.
It usually works.
(Just kidding)
I tend to just carry on and let it go. I read your whole post - and it made me think that sometimes we hurt ourselves by our own thoughts... More than anyone else - we destroy ourselves.
Think about that.
And think about how many things you may have lost by stonewalling yourself.
Who knows - maybe another point in time - in the future - that bridge may be opened again...
Except if you've shut your side of the bridge down, you will have lost it.
And that is your loss.-
Wagerwitch-everytime you open your mouth I like you more and more.
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*blush* I open my mouth a lot... it's a side effect... LOL!
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I am glad you do wagerwitch, because it is always a pleasure to read lol! I agree with nothingprofound.
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that is a very good point. I do indeed create my own madness
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I like it when WW turns on her computer! -
Don't give it much thought. It grows stronger and nastier if you dwell in it. -
I don't deal with it, I just simply ignore it..up till now, I'm happy with how I handle rejections. I know it's not professional, but for me, pro don't get rejection. -
I tend to accept rejection. And reject acceptance.
I know. A play on words. But for me there has always been a core truth to the words. An inner fear that if people wanted to get to close to me, they would find an empty shell. I still wear a mask - a smiling face, quick humor, etc. in social situations - and enjoy it - but real intimacy? No. I retreat. A fear I had long dealt with by drinking, using alcohol to try and fill that void. I am in recovery now. A year's sobriety. And I am confronting that fear. A day at a time. I do believe change can happen, is happening, and even at age 70 it is not to late to become the true person I can be.
Thank you.-
RALPH - your stuff is PHENOMENAL. Why aren't you in major magazines and stuff?
Edit for spelling of name... Aggg Rich Ralph Rudolph - sheesh, can't keep all those names bottled in my brain long enough to write them down. But - if I keep saying them, I'll get one of them home for dinner. LOL! -
Rivy-sounds like you've already come a long way to dropping that mask. Best wishes!
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I take the view that a professional rejection is generally a learning opportunity, not an invitation to give up. In the publishing world, it generally means you didn't get the right person to look at your work.-
oh how right you are, same in the artworld
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You learn from your mistakes and push forward. -
Yup, being a writer, I've gotten my share of rejections. The tricky part is to look objectively at the criticism and see whether there's any merit to it, and if so, what needs to be adjusted.
It's taken me some years to realize that rejection isn't always about the person rejected, as much as it is about the one doing the rejecting...
That rejection isn't automatically a statement on your own value as a person.-
there is an angle I haven't thought of
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Having read your post, I think it might help you feel better about your rejection situations if you can try to give it a shot and look at it that way. I think you're beating yourself up over some things that may be far beyond your control.
You deserve to cut yourself some slack. -
Excellent point, Jenn--and I think that's just as true in the personal as it is in the professional world. Everyone has tastes, preferences, likes and dislikes, programming, hang-ups, etc...and the fact that we don't fit what "works" for a particular person isn't a quality judgment--it's just not the right fit. -
@MadameX- "Everyone has tastes, preferences, likes and dislikes, programming, hang-ups, etc...and the fact that we don't fit what "works" for a particular person isn't a quality judgment--it's just not the right fit."
Never really thought of it like that, I suppose I will just have to step back. My coping mechanisms are a tad off centered -
Nah - we're all a bit off-centered - sometimes it is just easier for others to see it in a different perspective.
Go easy on yourself - you are the Goliath - and definitely not a pig.
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For me it all depends in the manner of which you are being rejected if I will talk to them again. Then there are two ways for it to appear; to others and to yourself. Since Im very secretive usually, I dont let anyone know if its bothering me or not. Then to myself I figure out what went wrong and through some reasoning with myself, come to the conclusion that its just the nature of the beast and in life, it happens all the time.
I usually channel the emotions into my writing, write a couple of passages and poems and then in retrospect, its easier to put in perspective. Realizing finally, there's always tomorrow. Who knows, you know.
buzz buzz
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