User Comments

1. 

   7/29/08

   riverstyxxx

   Oh nobody wants to talk it.
   
   Here's a story, it's not about me but it's still pretty good.
   
   Years ago I was hanging out with this guy and his brother, and one of them found out about a party across town and we were invited. It was supposed to be just another beer bash, but it turned into a mess.
   
   So the dude's brother gets drunk within an hour and uh, he works at mcdonalds right? He had to be at work the next morning, but obviously that wasn't likely...Ronald himself could have come to the house personally to pick him and it still wouldn't have happened. Trust me..
   
   So he does the funniest thing ever...Over all the music and everyone laughing, he picks up the phone and calls work. I overhead it because he was really loud about it, In fact everyone heard it. He was droning on about "Yeah I can't come in tomorrow, I have explosive diahhrea!" And we all wouldn't stop laughing for at least a good 20 minutes after that. You totally had to be there, if just for that one moment. Schaden-froide never looked so cool.
   
   He had it the worst the whole night. He passed out before anyone else and everyone painted his nails, put makeup on his face with lewd suggestions, someone even ended up shaving his head because it "Looked better if he had no hair".
   He woke up a few hours later and started hitting on girls...No success..It might have helped if he had noticed there was makeup all over his face and shit all over him. I sat in the corner, drunk off of straight jagermeister; eventually I passed out, woke up and stumbled to the bathroom, puked and had someone carry me to the nearest bed...I'll be damned if those pictures ever turn up of me hugging the toilet.
   
   Anyway, bald-diahrrea-guy didn't get fired for that little incident, I guess whoever he talked to was cool about it...Those were the days.

   [reply]
2. 

   7/29/08

   bladeaxe4

   either i act sick or try something weird to be sick not in much lengths to be tooooooo sick just for sake of faking !

   [reply]
   1. 

      7/29/08

      bladeaxe4

      sssssssh that's not alcoholic ! just quite enuf harmful to make one sick !
   2. 

      7/29/08

      riverstyxxx

      Here's a tip I learned that works 99% of the time:
      
      If you really want to call out of work, you need to plan ahead for it. The day before you want to call out sick, complain to your co-workers you're starting to feel not so hot. Make sure your boss knows about it
3. 

   7/29/08

   Sambax

   Don't use "feminine problems" as an excuse - especially if you're not a woman.

   [reply]
   1. 

      7/29/08

      JanelleV

      haha
4. 

   7/29/08

   wigwam2theorem

   I just called in sick, using a "sick voice."

   [reply]
   1. 

      7/30/08

      riverstyxxx

      Be careful about those. When you do call with the 'sick voice' plan, be sure to do it when you first wake up.
      
      And keep the conversation short and sweet.
5. 

   7/29/08

   calais50

   My sister was once pulled over for speeding. She got out of her car (not a good idea) and pretended to throw up. She was pregnant at the time and blamed the speeding on trying to get to a bathroom to throw up. The cop believed her and she didn't get a ticket.

   [reply]
   1. 

      7/29/08

      JanelleV

      that's actually a pretty reasonable excuse though -- i wouldn't have given her a ticket either! : ]
6. 

   7/30/08

   kxthy73

   I have this cool way of making my head spin totally around and green, projectile vomit shoots out of my mouth.....oh wait that was that little girl in that "Exorcist" movie.

   [reply]
   1. 

      7/30/08

      riverstyxxx

      You could always say that you're donating your liver today and will be in next week. That'll buy some time.