Discussions
How good are you at 'small talk'?
Posted by dialoguewithyou • 10/05/09 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: bloggers, communication skills, small talk
Small talks at the right time can add immense charm to your personality.
It can earn for you the label of being caring,sensitive and very friendly.
Besides it's good virtues, being repetitive in your small talk approach can make people make fun of you.
I am yet to master this trait.
How about you?
How good are you at 'small talk'??
Share with all your views on 'small talk'
User Comments
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Hate it passionately, have no tolerance for it, harbor the theory that every person involved in it is equally bored to tears but feels obliged to engage in order to be polite to the other equally disinterested person...but in the professional world one learns to engage.-
thanks for sharing your views
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I am with you, MadameX. There is nothing more excruciating than a party where everyone stands, with drink and food in hand, chatting for a while then moving on. When is the chit-chat boring as all hell? When is it polite to move on?
There is nothing like a group of NO MORE than 10 or 12 people, sitting comfortably around a table, with their drinks and food on the table. This weekend the conversation flowed for hours, moving from "middle eastern politics" to "how to get adult children out into their own homes" to "late life career changes" to "religion" to "vegetarianism and ecology". Finally we ended up in the "socialism Vs capitalism debate". Again. -
Imagine if no one was talking?
One should know to gab when required.. and by "know" I mean like really.. not crap talk just for formality -
I read somewhere that people who don't do small talk are actually very very intelligent! So its ok if you don't... i don't do that very well either! In fact, i usually don't know what to say when left in a room full of strangers, especially at networking events!
Don't sweat it.
If you think you must learn the art, then sign up for classes or something. Or start with a "Hi.. I'm so&so" People will always respond. Remember, if you start the conversation first, you achieve dominance! Hahaha!! -
So you are implying that the less intelligent person gets to dominate?
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You say hi first, you achieve dominance. Because if you speak first, you get to control the conversation.
Its never easy to be the first to do it you know, but if you do, you'd probably be perceived as "the more confident one".
This is all psychological Me not implying anything!
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really good,....
my wife got chased by a cow yesterday, it was actually very funny. She was trying to collect water cress at the creek and then this crazy cow just looked at her and went mooooooo and she almost jumped out of her skin. I was really concerned until I started thinking, crocodiles, sharks, brown snakes...yes.... anyone been killed by a cow... well no
see ya-
hey.. there are people who get killed by cows. -
now they tell me
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Thank god for new jersey, cows are packaged up quite nicely, at shoprite here.
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its good.
Hey
hello how are you
Iam fine..thank you..how about you?
EOF! -
its a very healthy sign that you are "bad at small talks" its a very harmful habit too, because it too often veers to discuss/criticize others..
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Yes, you are right. It would be better for us to talk as need as importance. Yet, Too much talking is also a sign that those one is really happy and might be at the health condition.
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On a scale of 10.. 1.5 -
I hate small talk - I'm good at it, but it drives me crazy. I'm very comfortable with silence and see no reason to fill it with pointless drivel. If there's nothing meaninful to ask or discuss, I'd just as soon nothing be soon. -
I'm very good at small talk. Especially, in those awkward situations with someone you don't know who shows interest but is amazingly quiet. -
That's your problem. Don't worry so much about talking...just talk,don't worry bout what you say... -
I'm good at it when I'm at work, but when I'm off work, I tend to turn into an introvert. -
I engage in casual talk constantly. Waiting at a bus stop. Standing in a checkout line. Mailman. Store clerk. "How you doing today?" "Looks like more rain." "Bus running slow?" "Looking forward to the weekend?" "You learning to ride that bicycle today, huh, young fellow? Good for you!" etc. etc. etc.
It comes from my generation, my Ozark small town hill culture. Talked to everybody. Neighbors. Strangers (rare). The weather. Newspaper headlines. Pool hall gossip.
I enjoy it. But I know it is a fading culture. Swallowed by cell phones. Don't talk to strangers. Hurry to work. No time for bullshit. Got more important things to do. Nice day? Who in the hell cares if you have a nice day. Just bullshit. Got my own day. Only one that counts.
I can only smile at the loss. And continue my ways. An ol'coot character now. And enjoying it anyway.-
So do I. I'm an expert at small talk. I'm great at diffusing uncomfortable situations and breaking the ice.
Except on the phone, but I'm getting better at it. I think it's because a lot of conversation involves body language, which I can't detect over the phone. I'm a great waitress, hostess, and receptionist. -
Interesting about the phone. I hadn't thought about it, but I am the same. Just not much for phone chatter.
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I think you're mixing two very different things, and that the distinction is important. Being pleasant to the people you interact with and sincerely wishing them a nice day is a far cry from having the same conversation about the weather with 75 different people as you go about your day. One serves an important purpose; the other gets in the way of anything meaningful.
Side note: it's iPods, not cell phones, that are ruining the world. When people are on cell phones they are at least communicating with another human being. Not so for the earplug generation.
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"Small" talk bores me silly. Sometimes it's necessary in awkward situations to put others at ease, but other than that... -
Small talk is something that is learned, and some are definitely better at it than others.
Small talk can make you contacts in high places if you are good at it. -
I'm brilliant at it I could talk about midget,pygmys,elves,imps and dwarves for hours. -
There is a time that is right for everything. Small talk as its advantages depending on whom you discussing with, the topics you discuss and for how long. -
I'm not much of a talker unless I know someone quite well-- I know people aren't interested, so I've found instead I can ask others' questions in these situations and just let them go. Folks seem to really enjoy talking about themselves and having a listener.
It's honestly the way I get through occasions where I don't know too many people. -
I try to avoid it whenever possible. -
I'm getting worse all of the time! -
Probably because I don't care as much anymore or maybe I'm just out of practice. My kids are all in school now, so I'll have more time to work on my skills!!! But sometimes making small talk with other parents is so lame. They probably think the same thing.
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All talk is small talk. Enjoy it. -
Maybe, but it's not always enjoyable.
I like a bit of give and take.
Although, I will say I always learn something when I talk with someone, so in that sense it's enjoyable.
What about an argument? What's your take on that?-
@BBP: I don't think any talk has particular merit. Whether you're discussing Tolstoy's novels or the weather, it's all the same. It's an individual taste. What counts is the company, the conviviality, the act of sharing with another person.
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That makes sense to me.
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Well I love talking. My mother always used to say,"Holly has never met a stranger"!!!! It is true to. I talk to people in lines,gas pump....and really just anybody. Even when bill collectors call,sometimes we get off track.
Ooh back when I was tryin to hide my car from the repo man,it was cold outside and I saw him out there freezing to death....I took him out some coffee and told him forget it for tonight my girls are asleep...we're not going anywhere...
He just laughed and said thanks and left...-
I find it easier to talk with complete strangers like you mentioned.
Funny Repo Man story!
The hardest people to talk with are the people you kind of know. Acquaintances. I always feel like I should be making more than small talk. But probably it doesn't really matter. -
No....once you realize the person you are talking to is absolutely. NO DIFFERENT than you are the nerves go away...
I used to be a nervous wreck talking to my Mimi (the matriarch of my family) until one day last year I realized she is no different than I am and thanks to her I'm a strong woman today...
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i am great at talking in general. so small talk is no biggie- unless the other person is both ugly and boring. -
What really sucks is when someone makes it more than small talk...they just keep going...and going...on and on. Like they can't read people.They have no clue about when the cnversation's reached it's natural end.
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that's very true...small talks are meant to stay short & 'small'.
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Oh not really...I have talked to many aqaintances who have ended up being really good friends.
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Sounds like if I talk to Holly long enough I would pick up her skills too
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I would definitely love to pick up her skills
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Some years ago I wanted but couldn't. Now it comes naturally, but I still suck at making it interesting. I just talk, and mostly feel like I'm repeating myself. Then when the conversation dies I don't know exactly how to handle it, and people seem to see that I feel unconfterable so they say like; "Okay, I'm not going to interrupt you anymore" as if they were bothering me >. -
I'm am TERRIBLE at small talk. Sometimes it's necessary, and I would love to have the "gift of gab." -
I'm OK at small talk if I'm around people that I somewhat know, and can relate to on some level. Infiltrating a conversation is a bit trickier of a task. -
If it wasn't for small talk, how would you meet new people, everybody doesn't want to hold a conversation unless they are stuck in a elevator or waiting room.
I enjoy small talk, even when I'm unfamilar with the converstaion. -
I am a very direct to the point person, if the meeting just require 10 minutes, I would finish it in 10 or 11 minutes. Unless I have something to joke around or casually discuss with the opposite person, I would do so entertain for a while. But most of the off topic goes after the office hours. -
its the nano technology. -
Sometimes I'm good at it, other times I'm not so good at it haha. -
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I am skilled in all kinds of talk. I have more of a problem keeping my mouth shut, but people don't seem to mind (or at least have been polite enough not to tell me to shut up). -
Human beings talk. It's fun. Whether it's about laundry or Russian poetry, it's fun.
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