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How Much Conflict is Healthy in Relationships?

Posted by rileycentral • 3/07/09 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: conflict, marriage, relationships

A friend and I were talking the other day and he was sharing with me about how there was so much conflict in his marriage and with his kids. I felt prompted to say that conflict is a normal part of a marriage and all relationships for that matter. But then I gave it some more thought and now I'm not so sure if his situation is healthy. Is conflict healthy in a marriage ? If so, how much?

User Comments

3/07/09

searchingwithin

Conflict is normal in a relationship, and if there is none, then there is cause for worry. But how much, is anyones guess. It is more how you deal with that conflict that counts the most.

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1. 3/07/09
  
  rileycentral
  
  Great point. So, it's probably safe to assume that Chris Brown and Rhianna (at the ripe old age of 19) aren't a good example of how to handle it then? Thanks for the comment.
3/07/09

searchingwithin

I am not one to follow stars and their ways of dealing, however, I have read enough to know that violence has taken place in this instance, and should not be tolerated no matter what the EXCUSE.

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1. 3/07/09
  
  rileycentral
  
  I agree. I heard they are back together now. Imagine being married, 19, and that famous x2. It's a rough combo.
3/07/09

becthomasphotograp

Some conflict is healthy. What type of conflicts are in their marriage, there might be other issues that need to be worked out and address that are manifesting as conflicts. Violence is not conflict, it is abuse plain and simple and is never ok in any marriage for any reason, and it's quite illegal.

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3/07/09

lordiwanttobewhole

conflict will occur, its how its dealt with that is most important. Rather than fighting unfairly, we should have accountability and really listen to what our partner is saying.

We should use "I" language rather than always starting sentences with "You".

We should forgive and say we are sorry.

We can constantly encounter conflict. If it is dealt with lovingly then, we are doing the right thing I think!

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1. 3/08/09
  
  janeblogs
  
  You're right.
  
  Hubby & I had marriage counselling at one stage, and one of the things we learnt was to use statements like "I feel angry when we argue", rather than "You make me angry when you won't agree with me".
  
  Okay, not a great example, but hopefully you get the picture.
3/08/09

kat822

conflict is inevidible but too much is just exhausting and overwhelming

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