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How should you deal with a stalker ex-girlfriend?
Posted by anthony0820 • 8/19/09 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: Dating, love, women
How should you deal with a stalker ex-girlfriend who can't accept the relationship is over and move on?
User Comments
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Exactly, what do you mean by "stalking"?
The legal definition of stalking is: Criminal activity consisting of the repeated following and harassing of another person.
" Stalking is a distinctive form of criminal activity composed of a series of actions that taken individually might constitute legal behavior. For example, sending flowers, writing love notes, and waiting for someone outside her place of work are actions that, on their own, are not criminal. When these actions are coupled with an intent to instill fear or injury, however, they may constitute a pattern of behavior that is illegal. Though anti-stalking laws are gender neutral, most stalkers are men and most victims are women. "
legal-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/Stalking
"When these actions are coupled with an intent to instill fear or injury, however, they may constitute a pattern of behavior that is illegal."
Is this the case with your situation or or not?
Have there been attempts to instill fear of injury in you or not?
Have you taken all the required precautions and actions like blocking her, etc. or not?
Unless or until there are attempts to instill fear of injury example: threats of violence, then it's not likely that you will not secure a restraining order. -
Do you mean 'freaking you out' stalking or 'take me back' stalking?-
little bit of both
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following you around town, unwanted phone calls at home and work and instant messages, showing up at your house unwnated, etc..
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Get a restraining order. Then if she comes near you, you can have her arrested.
Don't fool around with it. I just saw this horrible movie called 'Dear Zachary' (google it if you wish) about a Dr. who was killed by a stalking psycho bitch. People are crazy--get a restraining order. -
block her phone, IMs, texts and give her a very clear "leave me alone. stop coming by my house, etc. If she still persists then get a restraining order. -
wp see above ^
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I agree with Melinda...
I had a stalker ex who eventually broke into my house and tried to kill me. NEVER would have thought he'd do that, but he was over the edge one inch more than I guessed. People who can't understand that you've moved on are at least slightly dellusional...not an area to play with.
(I know I spelled that wrong...)-
Exactly lotus--anyone who stalks another person is UNBALANCED--and unbalanced people are dangerous people. Even if you think nothing can possibly happen.
Just like Dr. Andrew Bagby (R.I.P.) www.andrewbagby.com/ -
the pic of him on the highchair broke my heart. i have tons of these of my kids and if something happened to them, i dunno what i'd do.
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some threats of harm, but mostly threats of harming herself
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Were these threats of harming you made in written form?
If so do you have copies of them?
Were these threats of harming you made verbally?
If so then were there any witnesses?
Do you actually fear that she may harm you physically, or not?
Does this woman have a history of physical violence, threatening, harassment and/or stalking others?
P.S. Please see my first comment above. In order to secure a restraining order one must be able to provide the police, prosecutors and a Justice of the Peace with evidence that convinces them that you may actually be physically harmed by this person. -
If she is threatening to kill herself, she is unbalanced. People who are unbalanced are not capable of rational thought--so she could very well be dangerous. The case I mentioned above (Bagby)--that woman had threatened only suicide before she murdered the doctor. She (the stalker) gave birth to the doctor's son after the murder--and the doctor's parents were trying to get custody--and then she killer herself and the baby (who was a year and a half old!). The movie just shattered me.
Get a restraining order. All you need are statements from people who have witnessed what happened--that is usually enough to have the order granted in the U.S. You don't need to have a lot of written evidence--if people can verify your story, they'll grant it because of the huge increase in homicides that are the result of stalkings.
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I think in various states it differs. I've been stalked by a woman who would not accept the end of our relationship. It consisted of constantly driving past my home, sitting outside of my apartment building and circling around public establishments she knew I was at. I had contacted the police, however they told me that they could not possibly do anything - even to gain a restraining order until she does something harmful. These included: putting sugar in my gas tank, taking air out of my tires, vandalism and constant verbal threats over the phone or text. Otherwise, I could not get a restraining order. The only advice the police have given me were to log it all down.
A unique way of doing this, was to video everything she does around my apartment. When she is there, I take pictures and videos. I log it - I VLOG IT. Any photo that YOU take, is YOURS. You cannot get in trouble. Otherwise, the only thing I can suggest is change your number, email, and other sources of contact, if she is in fact a threat. Some women are just emotional and are desperate because the relationship has ended.
Hope it all works out. -
Wao.. stalked by a girl? If she is pretty, why not have her back, and allow the relationship to wear out all by itself gently? The more you run, the more you may be triggering her desperation. If you become available she may get just that golden bridge to walk away-
I clicked the username of the member who posted this thread and this is what I found:
Male / Member since February 2009 / Last seen 18 days ago If you want to make contact then why not visit the blog and locate the contact information? -
No big deal.. I myself have been away few days. I just found a nice question I had a good answer for (IMO) and it might help someone or someone else
And I never said I wanted to make any contact with anyone. I am surprised how you got to think so
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Um just be like I don't like u.... if that don't work restraining orders do
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