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How to be a good wife. Ladies, how do you meaure up?
Posted by kristilinauer • 8/27/08 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: 1955 article, marriage, relationships, wife
The radio station I listen to in the morning was talking about this article from 1955. It's long, but hilarious, and well worth the read.
So, ladies...how do you measure up? Are you being a good little wifey?
The good wife's guide - from Housekeeping Monthly, May 13, 1955
- Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favorite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.
- Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair, and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.
- Be a little happy and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
- Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.
- Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper etc. and then run a dust cloth over the tables.
- Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare a light fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
- Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.
- Be happy to see him.
- Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
- Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
- Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.
- Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order, and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.
- Don't greet him with complaints and problems.
- Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.
- Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
- Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
- Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.
- A good wife always knows her place.
User Comments
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Wow. Really ? Where's that time machine ?-
LOL. I find it hard to believe that women actually thought this way, but it's reflected in shows like Leave It To Beaver, Father Knows Best, etc. So I guess it's pretty accurate for that time.
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I'm not married, but my family moved out of Stepford in the early 50s.
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Is that a real place ?
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lol...no, it's a movie.
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lol - I know its a movie. I watched the Nicole Kidman remake. But when you said you're parents moved out of Stepford I got a bit confused.
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I agree with some of it. Some of it though, jeez!
Agree with:
- Be happy to see him.
- Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
- Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order, and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.
- Don't greet him with complaints and problems.
But the part about him going out to dinner or staying out all night, only if he comes home and touches base first.-
Yeah, the part about staying out all night really shocked me. I'm surprised that that was considered acceptable behavior by men in the 50's.
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Sometimes I will go out and stay out all night hanging out with my friends but I always make sure if I do, I am the one who puts the kids to bed.
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I am so glad I'm not from that era. Mrs. Cleaver irks me. -
My favorites of the whole thing:
"Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours."
and
"Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him."
Yeah, right! -
I would have to kick some butt. My husband comes home late he is going to be questioned.
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Questioned?!??
That's just so genteel.
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I grew up in the Fifties...I was eight when this was published.
My mother, stepmother, aunts, and grandmothers did not behave this way, nor did the mothers of my friends. The TV showed women waxing their floors while wearing high heels and pearls...but my grandmother did it in sneakers and jeans, my stepmother did it in sandals and a washable cotton housedress, my mother did it in bare feet and capris. Real women just weren't like this silly article.
Don't believe everything you read. I was there and I cannot think of a single adult woman I knew who fit this ridiculous profile.-
I just think it's funny that this was actually printed in a magazine. I wonder if it was written by a man!
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I've been married for nearly 30 years and I've always preached that the secret to a successful marriage is that you have to have common goals. We do. We both want to keep ME happy.-
ROFL...that's a great strategy!!
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My stepmother has an embroidery posted in her kitchen: If Mama ain't happy, nobody's happy.
Sez it all! -
@daisymom
I've been married for 30 years too and keeping me happy is a team effort - right on!
@sweetviolet
Hmmmm ... the embroidery sounds like a winter project I may take on. -
Yeee that's wonderful!!!
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The part that gets me the most is about not getting upset even if he stays out all night. Whaaa? A show that is depressing and disgusting for me to watch is "All in the Family" because the way Edith gets treated like a stupid dog. -
I take it with a grain of salt. (And these days, there are as many women coming home from work as men! - Can someone bring me my slippers, please??)
I have a (IMO very funny) Betty Crocker cookbook from years ago, too. In the introduction to the chapter of pie recipes, it says
"If you care about pleasing a man, learn to bake pie."
That cracks me up every time. =D-
"If you care about pleasing a man, learn to bake pie."
That's hilarious. My husband is the chef and baker in this house and I am his assistant. -
Assistant is good...
Taste tester is better. -
Hmmm you're right. I assist by doing a little food prep but mostly I'm a cheerleader and I'm quite good at it.
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... so long as you "speak in a low, soothing, pleasant voice."
pom poms don't hurt, either. -
That's hilarious. My husband must be very dissatisfied. I don't think I've ever baked a pie in my life!
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this is hysterical...especially considering how totally unable to cope with the "lessor" (I say that in jest) responsibility of a housewife most of "us" are. Leave the man to cook for himself and he'll be cursing up a storm saying "where's the G*&@@^@^@^@& pop tarts???"
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My husband is *NOT* useless. He's an accomplished cook. We do not eat prepared foods or junk food. There are no fast food joints where we live - thank GOB!
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So there IS a Mr. Timethief.
I used to be a pretty good cook as well, but to be honest Amy doesn't let me near the kitchen anymore. I tell her I'm perfectly fine cooking dinner, but she thinks "my place" is out on the grill when we bbq. The kitchen is "her turf" and I just get in her way when I mess around in there. -
No way. I used to do all the cooking in my house until my wife started enjoying it. I do the hard stuff, like making pizza dough.
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@kdawg
Yes, there is a mister in my house. He's an artist, a lumberjack, a carpenter, a paramedic, a cook, an accomplished shooter, fencer, lover --- the list is very long. Generally speaking, he's more friendly and funny than I am. -
"he's more friendly and funny than I am"
You don't say. LOL -
My husband is the chef in our family--and a darn good one. Good thing too--because if it were up to me, we'd be eating sandwiches or salads every night. That's all I ate through college and grad school. I'm a terrible cook--but an enthusiastic eater -
Mellinda, you are doing two positive things...
1) filling up your tummy with food
2)Catering to your hubby's ego. Guys think we are hot stuff when we please a woman with food also ;-) -
@dlowe
"he's more friendly and funny than I am"
I have an extremely dry sense of humor. In person I'm animated and movement orientated. In person my gestures, facial expressions and body language are the primary means by which I communicate and they are not available to me in cyberspace. -
Same here (flails hands about)
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It's okay...I can sense when you're winking at me.
I'm pretty animated as well. Plus I do a lot of voices (I pretty much impersonate every "character" I come into contact with...and yes, those quotes for MadameX's amusement).
communicating over email/forums is VERY challenging for me. Although, it does help with my problem of being brevity challenged. -
that's me too. I think EC being in the kitchen is more of a distraction than help.. so he stays out of the kitchen when I am cooking. but he cleans up!!!!
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I know I'm going to get lynched for this, especially since I'm in the middle of a big deadline and won't have time to elaborate or respond for hours, but I think that list includes a couple of really outrageous points and about 75% that's dead on.-
I agree with you.
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@Madame X
If the 75% of the behavior that you are isolating could be described as being mutually desirable and expected of both husbands and wives towards one another then we might be in agreement. -
@tt - that's what I was thinking. Most of it is what you would both do for eachother if you were in a healthy and caring relationship. -
don't let her fool you - she's all about pillow arrangment/shoe removal.
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Based on that list I don't measure up at all. I did do the cooking last night though....I think it was the first time in a couple of months, last time was a BBQ and as we have had a rubbish summer in the UK, it says it all really.
If I tried to help him with his shoes, I am pretty sure he would be most put out...I call him "Mr independant" as it is. I think he would get annoyed with me if I was like this, mind that is a good thing because I don't think I could do it either -
I've seen this posted elsewhere and, though I can't back this up (or, at least, I'm too lazy to try at the moment), I've been told it's a hoax--most of it's similar to stuff that was actually published in the fifties, with a couple of whoppers--like the staying out all night thing--thrown in to mess with you.-
@drjay1966
Agreed. I believe I saw it on another forum somewhere too and people got all worked up about the whoppers that were thrown in.
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Screw THAT list...here's my list from yesterday (typical day in our house, though)
I leave for work early, so my wife gets the kiddos up, makes breakfast, and gets them off to school and baby sitter before going to work.
I pick up kids after work, go home, chit chat about their day (trust me, their day is so much more interesting than mine) and make dinner, homework, outside to play, then INSIDE to play, snack time, bath time, nighttime story, and then off to sleep.
While my wife has her weekly volleyball game with her buds, I change out laundry, do the dishes, while listening to the game.
She gets home, I get kudos from the wife for cleaning up...and then get some "married" time, if you know what I mean.
Now which sounds like a better day? Mine? or that horse hockey that was printed back in 1955 (and probably from a man)?-
You rock, RTBjr73! That sounds similar to the setup my hubby & I have (although we have no "children," we split chores.) -
weekly volleyball game? Have you been hiding from me all this time that you are married to Xue Chen?
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OK, I do most of that - honestly. BUT - this:
"Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him."
uh ... NO. When he can actually "exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness", we'll talk.-
"Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him."
That whopper sounds like it was directly cribbed from the fundamentalist, evangelical Christian manuals I was raised on. There are no masters in my house. We are a working partnership. -
Me, too. I understand what they're based on (those beliefs), but they need a little revamping.
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@anniepooh
IMO they need replacing not revamping. They do not reflect either the New Testament teachings or the behavior towards women attributed to Jesus. -
True. I come from Pilgrim Holiness background -- scary literal bunch they were.
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removed by author
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I can agree with most of this, not because it is a wife's place or duty, but one should always want to do their best to make their spouse happy. I'd even say if roles were reversed, and the wife worked while the husband stays at home, then he should be the one preparing the dinner, kids and being chipper to combat with her possibly having a bad day. The parts about him being out late is ok so long as he called first. The all night part is iffy, but really depends on the circumstances. -
Oh I get it now... this is why I'm divorced.-
lol
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My husband-to-be would have killed me for such kind of behaviour.
It is he who cooks (yummy!) and does everything about the house and greets me with a smile as I come home ) -
I'll chirp in, as I am now a stay at home mom, kinda lol
I do clean the house, but because it needs cleaned not to make him happy.
I keep the kids clean, but because its healthy, not for him.
I do cook, but so does he, depends on the dinner, we each have "specialties".
I don't wear make up much, don't even own pearls and the chances of finding shoes on my feet are slim.
I do listen to him, beacuse he is a taxi driver and the stories get pretty interesting!
As for me being smiley happy and loving, depends on how much hell the cats and kids have put me through that day. -
This is awesome, where can I meet this woman. Prepare the children, Speak in a low voice, and don't ask questions are probably my favorites.
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Although I think the list is a over dramatized sense of what a happy little wife should be...I agree with some of the points it's trying to get across. I hate to say it but a lot of women today aren't being "women." This isn't to offend anyone but I know many of us grew up with our mothers advising us on how to catch and keep your man and some of that was on the list...cooking, cleaning, etc.
The fact of the matter is as independent a woman as I am, I'm still a WOMAN...which mean I am the child bearer and nurturer. Society makes that out to be a bad thing when people say there is a woman's place, but there is ALSO a man's place...which some men today are NOT quite living up to.
The gender roles are crossing over so drastically that it's causing a break done in society in some way. Because a lot of these guidelines were enforced for a reason.
Men are supposed to court their ladies because if he works hard to get you he'll probably appreciate you more. A woman's place is to take care of her family, it's sounds bad when saying that but how many of you working women still do that even though we work? Men can't have babies or do what we do that's why it's out job, lol. And women although we work along side men it's not our place to be the ultimate provider or protector and I'm not saying monetarily I'm saying overall your MAN should be there for you.
this is only my $.01 so please remember if I could write you a full book on this I would because there is so much to expand on. lol -
OMG, I am the worst wife ever. I dont' think there is a thing on this list that I do and I stay home all day. OK, I do laundry and watch the baby, but once he gets home, I need relief. I've worked. Being home is sometimes more stressful! He makes me a drink just so I can act like a human being for a few hours, and he cooks because I'd serve frozen pizza every night. What the heck is a pie?-
Man, that cracks me up.
[goes to dictionary for definition of pie]
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BTW, I've seen this before too, and now after reading some posts I'd like to know if it were true. It would only take one trip to a good library with microfiche to find out. I may do that when I get through listening to my husband's important day.
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It makes me think of an old Singer sewing machine instruction booklet someone I know had found at a thrift store.
It began with "Get dressed and fix your hair" before sitting down to sew.
Ha! And then there's me at home crafting, in loungy stuff, a ponytail, and slipper socks. -
i saw a short film from the 50s telling how families should act when eating dinner at home. a few tidbits-
1-dress up like you're going to church (at home!)
2-brothers-pull the chair out for your sister (like that's ever going to happen)
3-only bring up happy topics -
now I know why I am still single:) -
I just vomited in my mouth a little.
And with a balaclava on, it's really not pleasant.
Seriously though - Buwahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha
*snort*
*choke*
*giggle*
*ahhhh* -
The women of today that want their relationship to last should take note at some of the points of the good wife’s guide. My son who recently got married is already wondering what he got himself into. My wife is from the old school, very close to that list. So he figured when he got married his new wife would be like his mother. Today women want to be so independent they forget what marriage is all about.
Probably why the divorce rate is so high?-
Actually, I believe it is the mentality form the above mentioned article coming from men that has got the divorce rates so high.
Other than respect and mutual affection (BOTH spouses showing affection equally) that drivel above is why divorce rates are so high.
We are not slaves.
Ask your son how he treats his wife, and maybe he might find he's a bit to blame to - and the wife might be wondering what she got herself into as well. -
If he was expecting a 1950's wife, and ended up with an independent woman of today, I'd have to question their level of communication prior to marriage.
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@kristilinauer
"If he was expecting a 1950's wife, and ended up with an independent woman of today, I'd have to question their level of communication prior to marriage."
Yup! Probably another one of those couples that spent big bucks and half a year or more planning the wedding...and nothing planning the marriage! -
You just said it...when your son got married he thought she would be like his mother and just figured out she wasn't'. I think he should remove himself from the tit and remember he married a woman and not a mother.
I am all for treating your spouse with respect, not dumping your problems on them when they get home and being genuinely happy to see them (if not, you shouldn't be with them) but I believe it should be mutual.
Women today have to work along side men, we have become the bread winners and still raise families. Woman have become strong and independent and men like you and your son need to catch up. -
jdblogger
- I clicked on the username of the member who posted this thread on 8/27/08 and this is what I found: Last seen 6 months ago. If you wish to connect with her I suggest that you click into her blog and locate the contact information for doing so.
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Lol. This one's a keeper in my books.
"Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him." -
I believe in equal partnership; every relationship is give and take. The above is like give give give.. no wonder women in the 50's took loads of valium. I would have too.. catering to a man's needs like that. I also come from a culture where men dominated and women suffered in silence. I am so glad we are out of that now.
However what is more disturbing is the plethora of advice on women's magazine in how to please a man in bed. We have moved out of the kitchen and into the bedrooms. Now it's all about give your man the big O. Really.. have we come far or have we taken two steps back? Read the latest Cosmo if you don't believe me. -
LOL! I've read this before. My favorite part is the gift wrapping: put a ribbon in your hair. LMHO! -
Hey I enjoyed reading this post and all the comments
Would like to add my small input -
The true family relationship is not a one-way street.
"Man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined with his wife, and they two shall be one flesh".
I think we all remember this great mystery. Being in true love of each other we do not need any lists of do-s and don't-s. Its all natural and just wonderfully enjoyable. -
wow ... i remember when my mom burned this article and her bra on my dad's dinner plate. that was a special night i tell ya!
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