Discussions
How To Stay In Love ?
Posted by dialoguewithyou • 9/20/09 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: love, relationships
Share with all your view of
How people 'stay in love'. This doesn't only have to be in marriage, but in relationships, friendships, with your jobs, your kids (your blogs?), etc....
Please tell me your 'HOW TO' of how to do it in a sentence or less.
I'd love to feature select answers and LEARN from all of you!!
User Comments
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Why do you want to stay in love?
The pressure of having to stay in love might be the undoing of love
Just make the relationship work, as if you had no other choice. if being with each other is like punishment then hate each other and be together
Love and hate are two sides of the same coin. The more you hate someone the more he enters your system.. and you start being like him
In Hindu mythology, once God defeated a demon and said: I am going to give you two choices of punishment. You either take 100 births on earth and spend each one as a hermit meditating on my name, or one birth in which you truly despise me
This underscores the fact that the more you have hatred towards someone, the more inclined you will be to be close to him-
thanks for sharing crazyTsu
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If you want to stay in love, never speak of love.-
good one
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NP,
haha You really believe that? -
That will let your partner think that you are taking him/her for granted, you need to nourish the relationship. -
@Angie: The phrase does have a nice ring to it. But, yes. I do believe it. Lovers should forget about love and just love.
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Just stay -
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How to stay in love
Be sure that you appreciate
everything you’ve got
And be thankful for the
Little things in life
that mean a lot.
…Author Unknown
- Clarity of purpose
Continual expressions of respect, trust, affection and commitment keep relationships alive. Love is an action word and it can be expressed in many ways that clearly say "I love you," without any words being spoken.
Communication and cooperation
What’s key to the survival of any relationship is open communication, and both active listening and cooperative attitudes, are part of that process.
Conflict resolution
Commitment to resolving conflict through compromise is critical to relationship survival. We can make small adjustments and compromises in our lives to make others feel appreciated. There will also be times when major adjustments may have to be considered and agreed to.
Reference:
Relationships: Little things mean lots
thistimethisspace.com/2009/05/15/relationships-little-things-mean-lots/
Copyright © 2009 All Rights Reserved
this time ~ this space - timethief media-
"Be sure that you appreciate
everything you've got
And be thankful for the
Little things in life
that mean a lot."
amen -
Ah when you mentioned these things, I saw the question in a different light. Initially, I interpreted it as ways to feel the love again in a relationship, which in my opinion, if you're trying to force love again then something else may be wrong.
But yes, I agree with what you say in regard to keeping a relationship together. Sums it up nicely.
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How to stay in love....
Be yourself.-
very true
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Love is one of the most primitive instinct of human. The opposite instinct is fear. If you don't love smthg, it doesn't mean that you hate it. It's because you do love it less and you feel scare for some reason.
So if you never fear it, you can stay in love. So be brave! -
If your question is how "to stay in love", maybe you should consider that you never were in love... When your in love you dont need to think of how to stay there... You accept being there, no matter what.
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woo! I agree with you. I would think actually contemplating how to remain in the loves might indicate that the love isn't quite there to start. Why force it?
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consideration
mindfulness
regard
respect
attention
thoughtfulness -
I don't think staying "in love" is a viable or important goal. I think the way to sustain a deep, lasting relationship is to realize that "in love" comes and goes. Commit to being friends and partners, honest with each other and looking out for one another's best good no matter HOW you feel in the moment and the rest will take care of itself.-
I feel sorry for you then madamex, there is nothing wrong with wanting to be loved.
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@MadameX
Well said! -
Holly, you've been feeling sorry for me for a long time...this isn't the first time you've mentioned it. But I'm loving my life on a daily basis and surrounded with loving friends and family and you're posting every couple of days about how sad and lonely you are, so I'm not sure how much sense that makes.
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And your point would be....
U say u don't think love is important
I say it is
I'm glad you have people that love u,but if it isn't important or viable,they're wasting their love...I think that's sad... -
No, Holly, I said that I didn't think being "in love" was important. It's nice when those phases occur, but it's far less important than deep and lasting love that forms a lifelong friendship and commitment. I'd rather have trust, loyalty, communication and partnership than the adrenalin rush any day. If you can have both, great...but the adrenalin rush is just kind of sprinkles on the frosting on the cake--it's far from the main event.
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By recognizing that love takes work and putting your part.-
rightly said
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I think love is the ultimate goal
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Is there any person in this whole world whom you have always LOVED every second? You never fought with your mom, your sibling, your best friend ever?
Then why this silly parameter for a romantic relationship? Love is no bed of roses. You cant live on sweet candy alone. As an old man said somewhere "Get over it"-
Sure. There are many people.
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To what question? That you have known people you never quarreled with? Then you simply don't know them enough and they are not THAT close to you to bother fighting
No I won't say that. Instead I will say "You are a very lucky person MadameX"
And with that I preempt pleasantries while sacrificing honesty and frankness which a close relationship is based on, while appearing to be a very good friend
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As I was saying...there isn't a dang thing wrong with wanting to be loved...most of the people I know want to be loved...that is why u feel sad when ur alone...it doesn't take Einstein to fig that one out
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Love is like religion. Some people need it, some don't. That you don't need it doesn't necessarily mean you're missing out on something.
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Well I'm just gonna have to disagree with u on this one NP. I think everyone wants to be loved,even if they build up that frigid wall,u ultimately want someone to love u
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I think a lot more about loving other people than being loved. I think it depends a lot on your world view and how you relate to other people--whether your focus is on them or on yourself.
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I understand your statement because America is a lonely society. If you go to the other countries with high family bondage and say : "I want to feel loved" they will all snicker and laugh at you because they won't know what you are talking about
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Well whateverrrr, all I know in the great scheme of things,love is the universal lingo...period end of story.. I'm still kinda thrown on why madamx thinks I should be ashamed of wanting to be loved...but different strokes for different folks...
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Wow, Holly. If you ever actually listened to what someone said instead of making up both sides of the conversation and having it by yourself, you might actually be able to form a relationship that would fill some of those needs.
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Let's come off cliches like universal lingo. Fact is you are lonely, and the only love you have seen in your adulthood is love from boyfriends and husband/s and perhaps kids. Here the debate goes on about pulling the plug on grandma ...
I admit though, that I have seen a guy who would talk to his mom almost everyday and try to help her out in her daily life. It was touching to know there are people in US who have the special family bonding still alive and these people will be the well-adjusted folks over time
You want to be loved, yes .. without love life is quite barren and dry and lonely. I dont deny that -
Tsu, do you think that is unusual? I live less than a mile from my parents and see them several times a week, but even when I lived out of state we talked on the phone virtually every day. My mother is in her sixties and has seen and talked to her sister on a very regular basis since they both moved out of their parents' house nearly fifty years ago. My grandmother was in a nursing home for several years and my mother visited her every single day during that time and did her laundry and otherwise cared for her.
My in-laws are the same--my mother-in-law lived across the street from her mother and next-door to her sister all their adult lives, and my daughter's great-grandmother who recently passed away babysat for all of her grandchildren and great-grandchildren in turn. I would not like to think that this is as rare as you seem to think it is. -
@MadameX
Thanks for your inputs.. I now learned some more about the country -
BTW I would like the admins to remove my previous post on this.. Thank you and my due apologies
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Am I blind? I don't think I read anywhere that Madame said you or anyone should be ashamed. Off to fetch glasses.
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"Men have died from time to time, and worms have eaten them, but not for love." Will Shakespeare
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I do like that comment!
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Hey did u know my little bro's name is Will
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Um...I did listen to u. U said,love wasn't important and viable to you... then u took a cheap shot bc I'm going thru a hard time...I guess to make u look smart,or whatever... then u said some more mubo jumbo and I'm still listening...woo hoo yay for u... now why don't you go be with the ones who love you so much...so I can return to my unloved lonely bc
@ madamex -
um...tsu...love is a universal language,so I don't have to stay away from it. Let me tell u a little sumthn sumthn about LOVE... I know how to show love!
I have had a drug addicted ex step father,whose whole entire family is finished with him. I didn't give up on him in spite of him making my childhood a living hell.yup I love him anyways,bc he needs it. I'll be there for him till the day he dies...THAT'S LOVE
OR
a cuz who is down on her luck got 3 kids and a no good baby daddy,who needs a place to live a while,yup that's me to. I know how to show love and still have few more stories like that,I know how to love,I love the way Jesus tells me to love....There isn't a DAYUM thing wrong with me wanting to be loved back!!!!!-
I acknowledge all your feelings.. when you love, it's like putting money in a recurring deposit... one day it matures with high rate of interest so do take courage and keep putting in your installments on time
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Whatever dude
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LOVE is an ACTION,it isn't just a word...and u know what else Jesus loves me...so there
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Thanks everyone for your input so far
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love is simple but can be complicated in different situation. Lets just put LOVE as accepting who we are and those we loved .. less hatred.. more love in our heart make us a better person. -
For love to stay, allow the loved one the freedom and independence to chart his or her own course in life. A person who loves is not possessive, but fully accepts the other's unique individuality. The loved one is free to act and become whatever he or she wants to become. -
Do things togeather -
detached observation...... try to see from other persons perspective...as your angle is always a right angle and same goes for the other person,from his side his angle is also a right angle, hence making it an acute angle....
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A right angle is an internal angle equal to 90 deg plus another right angle will give you a straight angle not an acute angle.
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thanks for correcting, but its not mathematics, hence 2 pls two is not four....its a situations,which makes your vision narrower as both the people are finding things right from the point when they are seeing and observing a situation....
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good point
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Accept the flaws (of a person in a relationship, bad day in a job) as a part of the package and move on with a smile. -
Be true to yourself and don't bottle up emotions. Personally I never go to sleep on an arguement. Hmm... judging by the amount of time I spend on this website, my partner is beginning to wonder if I get any sleep at all. So it's good night from me :-) -
P.S. Be spontaneous - people love surprises!
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Thanks for sharing your views
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Get romantic with www.google.com/ig/directory?synd=open&q=love+tips+google+gadget+girl -
Exactly
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Thanks everyone for your inputs in the discussion.
I've added an article on the same with your responses at:
dialoguewithyou.blogspot.com/2009/09/how-to-stay-in-love.html
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