Discussions
How will you react to a criticism?
Posted by vijayanths • 4/25/09 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: criticism, life
If it is a constructive one?
If it is a unhealthy criticism?
User Comments
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As long as a negative statement is followed up by a "because" and a suggestion to how things can improve it is more than welcome, but kindergarden "I don't wanna"s is annoying.-
Great, that's the way to live on,thanks for the response.
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I was raised by my Mother, I hold up well to any type of criticism.-
Great , floormodel, I begin to feel envy towards you, lol. Because I sometimes lose my temper,though most of the times I could remain cool.
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Criticism is always an act of cowardice, if it's not self-criticism.-
utter nonsense -
@ nothingprofund
Yes, I fully agree with you.Real brave people will be cool. -
that is the most ludicrous thing I have ever heard...but I suppose I am a coward for disagreeing with you? -
If people never gave each other constructive criticism, we would continue doing the same stupid things over and over. Or, at least I would. -
your honesty is admirable.
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usually water off a ducks back for me, unless it is constructive. I don't have time for those who are always criticizing others.-
yes, we need to ignore them.
vijayanths.blogspot.com/2008/12/three-great-people-and-three-big.html -
nice blog entry and very wise words.
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I think it depends what kind of criticism and the intent of the person criticising me...mostly I'm fine with it, but if someone is trying to be cruel or hurtful I'm not so happy about it.
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yes, you are absolutely right.
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Every criticism is a pain for me. I don't know whether i've gained something great from criticism.. All i get is a silent depression.-
dosox, how are you? missed you.
Never bother about any kind of criticism, unless there is truth in it. -
I'm fine
& yeah thanks
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If there's a point of fact or reason in the criticism, I try to address it.
If the criticism is goofy or extreme enough, I write a post or two about it. My favorite is still the one that informed me that Nero was working for the Christians.
Examples from one of my blogs: " Retard! Or, How Not to Make Your Point" anotherwaronterrorblog.blogspot.com/2009/01/retard-or-how-not-to-make-your-...
and, to a lesser extent: " 'Towelhead,' 'Retard,' and Talking Sense in a Global Society" anotherwaronterrorblog.blogspot.com/2009/02/towelhead-retard-and-talking-se...-
oh, thanks for the information.
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@intarso. Disagreement is not the same as criticism. Disagreement is always a brave thing to do. So thank you for disagreeing with me.
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To each their own. As for me, I'm too busy learning from my own mistakes to notice anyone else's.
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different thought,nice.
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I have a lot of confidence, no low self esteem here. Plus I really don't care what people think of me. You like me that's great, you don't it's not my loss. I take criticism like a champ If the criticism is a way to "offer" advice and seems like good advice I might listen.-
very practical, really good.
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People are too sensitive to criticism. No matter what you say, do, or believe, a certain segment of the population is going to disagree with you and criticise you.
The only reason criticism, even if it is not constructive, would ever bother you is if you thought in your own heart that you were wrong.
If you believe in what you are doing, thinking, or saying, then you should let people say what they want. Five minutes from now they have moved on to something else and so have you.
There is no upside for getting upset.-
I don't think the actual criticism bothers me, it is being around the type who always has to criticize, man they bore me tears.
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@potatochef
I agree with you. -
@jafabrit
you are absolutely right.
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Constructive criticism is always welcome in my home, unless it's from my mother Heh.
Other criticisms can either bore me, have no effect, or anger me. It depends on who's saying it, what they've said, and what they've criticized.-
Why your mother is banned from making constructive criticism?
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it depends on the intent which comes with it-
this is another point.
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i love it, because it only reinforces my already poor opinion of those who criticize me.-
Interesting reaction. Is it instantaneous or an afterthought?
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the reinforcing part happens as an afterthought...but that implies that i already had a negative opinion of them from the beginning. i don't know if that made sense.
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LOL, yes, I have that feeling too at times. Sometimes the nastiest criticism of my work is the one that reinforces I am on the right track.
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I welcome it. Really. Criticism even hateful criticism is an opportunity to receive honest feedback. That can only make you better. Sometimes friends are too sensitive to your feelings that they can't give raw honest feedback. Critics' feedback plus the anger it elicits is the right combination of "push" and input that will allow you to improve your game.-
You can rectify your mistakes.
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I completely agree. While we need not dwell too long on criticism we receive, we should consider all criticism as a path to improving ourselves and think about it long enough to learn something. Ignoring criticism outright may mean that we miss something that could be of value. Simply because a message was not communicated in a pleasant manner does not mean it is without value.
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If it's valuable, I'll take it to heart. If it's bullcrap, I'll reject it -- maybe with some valuable criticism of you! LOL!-
The strongest criticism I got was without words. I was playing at a studio in NY, and I had just done a nice solo on a tune. This black trumpet player (Tommy Turrentine) played next, made me feel like s***, and all the time he soloed he looked straight at me. I thought he didn't like me. A week later he asks me how to write my name, because he had composed a bossa nova and wanted to name it after me.
That thing of outplaying me was done out of his concern, he worried about me gettin' proud...What i took as a humiliation was really an act of caring. -
thats a great way of living. The art of living perhaps? It comes to some people so naturally,they are blessed like you.
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That really depends on the qualifications of the person giving the criticism.-
nice thought there.
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Criticism is a way of knowing that you've been noticed and someone cares enough to comment.-
Or that they are jelous
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Good!!! I am a jazz saxophonist. If I am doing something wrong, or that has a better way to do, how will I know unless someone tells me?
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In most cases, yes. Other times, people just talk so they can put other down. -
so there is a good thing about criticism.
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Listen and deciper, they will always tell you what you don't want to see. But listen also to your inner self too. Weigh things out and you'll be fine. :-)-
nice thoughts.
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It depends on what the person is criticizing. For example, if I put photos out there for the fun of photos, not attempting to be artistic about it or anything, and people start picking on the light or composition of them, then I will not be happy. Similarly, criticism of unfinished web sites irritate me to no end, but I'm often too excited about the site not to show it to someone. I just tell them these days to hold their criticism until further notice, when I'm emotionally ready to handle it.
Recently I got criticism that to me seemed uninformed, but like something that a lot of people would think to themselves without saying it to my face. In this sort of cases I usually write a blog post about it, telling people why I do what I do. (www.sebastyne.com/2009/04/22/why-do-i-charge-so-much/)
Quite honestly I hate criticism of any kind, but I do appreciate the constructive type, even if it does irritate me. Fortunately I know that I have a problem with it and know to count to ten before reacting.-
very honest discussion there by you.
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I used to be terrible with criticism. I used to take everything very personally because I was dealing with a lot of emotional unhappiness and childhood upbringing issues. Now, I am great with criticism at least in the workplace. I think that's why I was so thrown by getting laid off. I always worked my butt off.-
You are growing with crticisms?
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I am a sensitive person but I Would rather here the truth than be lied to
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My feeling is that truth can be subjective and depend on the agenda, interests, etc of the person criticizing.
Some criticism, even when well intended can be misguided.
I don't feel people have to lie, they just have to realize that the way they do things isn't necessarily the right way for others and that criticizing is a judgment that isn't always welcome or useful.. -
@karenlloyd
yes that is better.
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Bingo! Exactly what I said earlier. I'm too busy learning from my own mistakes to go around correcting everyone else's. (If they are mistakes.)
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I take criticism well as long as there is reasoning behind it. Anything less will fall on deaf ears. I'm blessed with the ability to tune people out
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yes, you are a blessed person.
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If it's well-reasoned, I'll analyze their statements and either do one of two things:
1. Admit that they're right and correct my behavior. OR
2. Point out flaws in their logic.
The latter tends to occur more frequently.-
Is it possible to be illogical, yet right? -
It's possible to have a true conclusion and false premises. It just means your logic is unsound. But having true premises and a false conclusion is even worse.
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How so?
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A valid argument is a deductive argument where the conclusion logically follows the conclusion. If the premises are all true, the conclusion would have to be. Otherwise it is invalid.
A sound argument is a valid argument with all true premises (and therefore a true conclusion).
If at least one premise is false, then the argument is unsound. Even if the conclusion is true, the logic does not hold up. Find new premises that support the conclusion.
However, if all the premises are true and the conclusion is false, you're invalid. For example, the Earth is roughly spherical and we perceive the sky to be blue. Therefore, Jflower is an atheist.
First off, the conclusion has nothing at all to do with the premises. That's a key indication of invalidity, but let's ignore that for now.
True premises? Check. False conclusion? Check. Invalid.
Now let's say I did this:
Jflower is an atheist, and FlamingPoodle is a Christian. Therefore, they debate occasionally.
Jflower is NOT an atheist. False.
Flamingpoodle is NOT a Christian. False.
You and FP occasionally debate. True.
Even though my conclusion is correct, how I got there is tremendously flawed. -
Furthermore, if somebody is trying to criticize my writing with faulty logic, even if their conclusion is correct (such as, "You should probably be nicer to people."), I am not going to be persuaded.
If I were to tell you, for example:
You should be more inclusive of the nonreligious in the things you say rather than condemning them, because we will fuck you up if you don't.
While the conclusion is probably good advice, "We will fuck you up if you don't" is an appeal to force and does not explain why this is good advice. My argument is invalid and will never be sound. (Note: This was an example. I haven't actually read anything by you that condemns atheists or excludes them as second-class citizens.) -
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that is what Voodookobra. Nice to note you are right most of the times.
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What is logical about a bunch of salmon swimming upstream? It's observable, it's verifiable, but I wouldn't call it logical.
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And I wouldn't call that relevant.
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Logic can't explain the salmon swimming upstream. So it denies the existence of salmon.
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Using a non sequitur to try to "disprove logic" is stupid.
Also, en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salmon
Lrn2Biology -
Using logic to deny reality is insanity.
Einstein: As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain, and as far as the lthey are certain, they do not refer to reality." -
Thanks VK for the lesson in logic. Great examples. How about this one....
Your gravatar reminds me of a cute 10 year old
Whenever I see your posts about logic it makes me think you are a child genius
Therefore you must be related to Doogie Howser...
Just kidding
But sometimes I do want to just pinch your cheeks!
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When it's coming from the same annoying bunghole repeatedly, I go numb and deaf.
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Jeunelle,yes, you are right.
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Positive or negative ... I take them in equal stride.-
that is a great attitude, not easy to practice I guess.
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I consider the source. IF it's from a friend, I take it. If someone who may be jealous, I walk away-
nice approach.
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If it is a constructive one? I will try to take action on the based matter.
If it is a unhealthy criticism? I will try to forget because it will certainly hurt your feelings for a long time if you hold on to it.
But I guess criticism depends from whom it comes from and what is the relationship between you and the other person. -
Yes, I fully agree with your thoughts.
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Nobody dares criticize me.-
dr is beyond criticsm.
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Its ok aslong as people give you ideas on where your going wrong and how you could improve.
It annoys me when people say stuff like
Its crap!
Thanks for that, really helps lol-
One time someone said my painting was crap and after asking questions it all boiled down to the fact she didn't like the colour orange. I was peeing myself laughing by the time I had finished asking her to elaborate on what crap means.
Had she said she liked the painting but the orange disturbs her and ruins it for her I would have understood that. -
@willliAm:
great attitude there. You have that mind maturity.
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@jafabrit:
Yes, people simply say "crap" with out accessing it properly.Constructive criticism always help us to improve. All criticisms hurt us is very much real. -
I give no credence at all to destructive criticism. I respond well to constructive criticism, and I respond best of all to constructive criticism from people whose opinions I respect.
Here's an example: I was giving a sumei painting demonstration at a fair to raise money for a children's charity. A man watching said loudly that there was no way he was paying that much for a painting that only took me 10 minutes to finish. I said, "But it took me 30 years of practice to develop the skill and accuracy to be able to paint a peony that quickly and beautifully." His wife turned red and he sneaked away while the others watching stared after him shaking their heads.-
yes tt, people often forget how we get the expertise in a field. Here is another example. Mr.X had to call a mechanic to attend to some repair in his car.The mechanic came and simply tightened a nut and and put the car back into action. He demanded $100. Mr.X asked him was it not too much to tighten a nut. The mechanic replied," I charge $5 dollars to tighten the nut and the balance to find out which nut needs tightening.
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I love ctriticism! Especially the destructive kind...lets me know I'm doing something right if you feel the need to (attempt) to tear me down.-
you are different.
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Well, I already knew that.
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I take all criticism into consideration, even if only for a split second. It's all in how you approach me on it. Some I will act on, some I will argue about out of sheer boredom. At the end of the day, so long as myself and those I love are happy, I could care less.-
Yes, this is very practical and meaningful, endlesslyshesaid.
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