User Comments

1. 

   9/14/09

   tindera

   Kindly reply to the discussion, and help those who can't say the right words.

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2. 

   9/14/09

   SweetViolet

   There is no way to say it without hurting and/or offending the other party. That is just the way it is.
   
   My advice it to say it swiftly...no long story leading up to it...for that just drags out the agony. When I decided to divorce, I sat down with him at the dining table in the middle of a Saturday afternoon and said "This is not working. One of us must leave."
   
   He moved out that afternoon, but he was angry and made the divorce hell...it took FOUR YEARS and a boatload of money to finalize it all.
   
   There is no easy way to do it. The easy way is to keep on living in the relationship...being the one to end it is always difficult.

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   1. 

      9/14/09

      idealpinkrose

      I agree.
3. 

   9/14/09

   Funkkeejooce

   I agree with Sweet Violet. No beating around the bush - straight to the point. Either way, it will be a painful scenario.

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4. 

   9/14/09

   idealpinkrose

   If you think the relationship won't work, then you should talk about it. Tell the truth, it's more painful to live with someone that you don't really love. Anyway, the relationship won't work if you don't love each other.

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5. 

   9/14/09

   sjtavo

   To purely fall out of love with someone, with no outside factors (ie: an affair) is almost as hard for you as it is for the person you used to love. I would encourage honesty, inegrity, gentleness....communicate that while you do not dislike your partner, while you may care about his well-being and success, it does not translate into being in love with him anymore and it isn't fair to either of you to continue in a relationship that has become more friendship based than romance. It's not an easy discussion, it will most likely be followed by anger (five stages of grief don't only apply to death) so be prepared for the fallout. But I think as long as you are honest and gentle, the honesty will be appreciated further down the road and the healing process will begin. That being said, it took two year for my ex-husband to realize that our divorce was for the best, he appreciated my honesty and we actually get along pretty well now - better than we did back then!

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6. 

   9/14/09

   Floormodel

   be honest and do it as soon as possible. It's unfair to them to keep them believing you do love them. This way they can mourn, heal and move on to find someone who will love them and get a happiness they want.

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