Discussions
If married, for how long?
Posted by mariamichelle • 6/24/08 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: husband, marriage, seven year itch, time, wife
If you find this topic too personal, please disregard. I'm just curious.
I have been married for four and a half years.
Many people have said the first five years is the hardest. Some people say the 4th year is the hardest. Then of course there is "the seven year itch" theory.
Just wondering what you all thought. Thanks!
User Comments
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I'm going through the seven year itch now and it seems to be lasting a whole year.
I'm hoping it ends soon ( the "itch", not my marriage 
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7 years, and now it feels like just a year. It has flown by. -
It does fly by. If it weren't for our kids obviously growing up in front of our eyes, I wouldn't believe we've been together for ten years.
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Good luck Suburbqueen. Guess it's not a myth after all
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Thanks...I'm trying, but it does take two. Relationships are different though. There is still hope that the "seven year itch" is still a myth.
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Yea, we have four children together, they really contribute a lot to making the time go by fast.
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24 years. We have had our ups and downs. But with each year we seem to grow closer cause it just keeps getting better!-
That's awesome Tamela, seems like 20 years now used to be like 50. I know everyone has their ups and downs. I think some people are willing to work harder than others. I've learned one thing, it certainly is work!
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that's great : ]
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WOW Morgan. I don't know if I've heard ANYONE say that. Good for you. If you have any secrets to share, please do!
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I don't have any secrets, I can say that we communicate openly and honesty, we keep busy, and think together towards our future.
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@ Morgan
Yes kids and pets have a way of doing that!-
Yes, and I love my kids of course, I am not one of those parents that think their kids are a burden to them. I spend as much time as I can with them. and the pets too!
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Been married since June of 2002. Been dating since 2000, and been in love with her since 1997 when I first laid eyes on her.
Hasn't weakened one bit - in fact now that she's the mother of my child with another on the way, she's even more special to me.
I know some folks don't believe in it, but the word "soulmate" comes to mind.-
Congrats! Hope all goes well for you guys!
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Ooh Kdawg. That's wonderful. Love at first sight even!
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You are a wonderful man for so uplifting this girl of your dreams. Lovely
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I find it really comical now to think that beore I got married that it would be easier than dating. I don't know what rock I was living under, but my eyes were opened real quick!
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Amen!
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@Suburbqueen
If you've made it this far and been making it through a tough time, that sounds like a good sign!-
Tis what I'm hoping, but time will tell.
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Been married for 10yrs now the first 5yrs seem be rough for most people... -
@Tech
That's what I've heard the most is that the first five years is the hardest especially if you were single and independent for a long time. My husband and I were both older and independent. However, things have really come together in the past year thank goodness!
Congrats on 10 years - that's awesome! -
You will be fine either way. You strike me as a strong woman.
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I think I marry my wife for my whole life -
first anniversary coming up in five days!-
@Natasha
Happy early first anniversary -have agreat day/night whatever you do!
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Coming up on 20 this year. -
I was married for 32 years years. We are still great friends. But when the couple hits their 50s, it gets really rough. The first five years are also pretty tough, as you acclimate, adjust, and find out whether it will really work. -
@ Annie
Congrats. What a great milestone!-
I guess lol We've been so busy with all these kids that it sort of flew by. Oldest kid just finished first year of college and youngest is still in diapers - no time to notice!
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@Rich
WOW 32 years. On my b-day in 2 weeks I will be that old! It's so great to hear these wonderful stories. There's so many doom and gloom stories out there.
Congratlations! -
@Rich
I meant to say Congratulations that you are still great friends. That's a rarity from what I've seen. -
@ linxsell
I guess that's a good thing! -
30 years, been together 32 and still going strong. I think each stage presents challenges, the first few years as you adjust, the parenting years (if a couple chooses to have children), the empty nest years, the retirement years. Sometimes people fall out of love and it isn't necessarily anyone's fault, or one partner has a mid life crisis, or the couple stopped having anything in common besides the kids.
Like rich says the 50's can be a real challenge that some cannot survive. So far we seem to be hitting a new stride with exciting things going on in both our careers and an enjoyment in sharing that with each other. -
I have 12 under my belt. 12. What happened to my life? Oh, if the wife reads this tell her I'm only kidding. -
@jafabrit
Thanks for another encouraging story and info. Congratulations! -
@Gloss
We know you're only kidding! -
17 yrs. - Nards -
We've been married 26 years, give or take. Wouldn't have my life any other way. -
Every anniversary we agree to ask each other if we want to stay married. So from year to year, the time passes quickly. We are both of us free to stay or leave. Our choice to stay is proof that we really are meant to be together. Marriage and commitment is hard, at times. If it were easy, it might become boring.
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Good point about getting bored if it were too easy. Kinda nice to be bored sometimes though.
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Six years. I'm a bit of a loner so sometimes it's a bit tough, but it works. -
@Suburbqueen
I'm going on 10th anniversary and have been together for 17. I think there is something to the seven year itch. I've been through it, but now things are better than ever. I hope the same for you!-
Me too...Thanks!
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Seventeen years is awesome! Thanks for the reassurance regarding that pesky "seven year itch".
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A satijournal
I know what you mean, being a bit of a loner myself. My husband is Mr. Social Butterly so that was an obstacle we had to overcome in the beginnig. I think we did though and are better off for it. -
@ Norski
That's great. It's my dream to be able to say that one day as well. -
@ Nards
Way to go!-
Two things I've come to realize Maria: It ain't over until it's over and that no marriage has it "made in the shade". So we keep working on it. No regrets so far. Absolutely none. - Nards
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@mariamichelle
That's funny! My husband is the social butterfly too! It gets to be a lot of work, doesn't it?! -
He's 10 years older and I CAN NOT keep up with him!
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2 years dating, 21 years married, three (not-so) kids. Still planning together for the future -
Good job amtelemarket. It has really done my heart good to hear so many happy stories tonight like yours!
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18 years and getting stronger than ever, wa-hooo!!!! -
@ kath
I hope you remain happy as ever! Congrats! -
My husband and I have been together for 35 years - married for 31...
Dang, I'm old :-)-
Dang! You don't look old at all! Thats fantastic though.
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Please tell me you're not like 40 years old, Delaney. Betrothed at birth, much?
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No, I got married to my wonderful hubby when I was in my early 20's so you do the math.....
Dang, I'm old... lol
Eldest child just turned 30!
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We've been together for 8 years in August, married 2 in October.-
@ focus
8 years is a long time. Bet it was an easier adjustment to marriage after being to gether or so long. Way to go. -
Yeah, it was. We lived together over 4 years before we got married. Nobody believed us when we said marriage felt the same as not being married, lol.
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Hi,
Yes, we are still great friends. We were together about 35 years. All of our property and savings is still held in joint. This morning we were out walking together. She just needed to be on her own. It happens as one journeys through life. -
@Rich
That's incredible. So rare too! Good for you. -
10 years in August. We got married young too and were told we wouldn't survive the first year. BOY WERE THE FIRST TWO YEARS HARD!!!! Now we've got our first kid (a 2 yo little girl) and it's like we're re-learning each other. You definitely get new challenges with each "stage" of marriage, so marriage never gets easy. Those challenges bring new rewards, though.-
Yes, working through those challenges is the key. Yay for you!
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43 years ....
Days of great fun and days of great irritation.-
You get the reward for the longest so far. That's wonderful!
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Six years this year. It's had its ups and downs but that's what keeps it going.-
Yes one person mentioned that if everything was wonderful all the time, it might get a little boring!
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I've been married for 19 years. It's all about communication, fun and caring. Yep, I'm still in love with the ol' ball and chain.
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lol 7masterheathen
I wonder if my husband calls me the ol' ball and chain. If he does I'm sure he means it affectionately
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Off and on, I've been married a total of 13 years. Not all to the same person
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@Jane
I have lots of friends who respond this way. It's all good!
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Will be 30 years in November.-
Good for you Barry. That's quite a milestone
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its for life no matter what-
no, I don't agree with the for life no matter what achuna. There are some situations where a marriage should end.
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@achuna
That's what the vows say! So many divorces though :(. I agree, but don't know if I could ever deal w/ infidelity. Fortunately, I'm not worried.-
I dont believe marrying again and gain will solve any problem but create more and it will keep us doing that again or kinda habit like the celebs. Any differences can be resolve through love, kind and humility and thru prayer.
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Almost 14 years! And still incredibly happy!!! -
27 years and still going strong . ;-) -
1.5 yrs -
5 hours now but I've been w/ him for 6 years.-
Congratulations Shiley. That's so exciting!
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Congrats Shiley! - Nards
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Congrats!!! But what are you doing here? Wasn't it this supposed to be honeymoon time?
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No honeymoon my mom has the kids. He is on vacation. We've gone out a lot lately. We ate bad food too and got sick. @ nards you changed your avatar!
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Sometime back I heard from the news about Cathrine Zeta Zone that she will never give divorce. How's she going, anyone?
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Almost 23 years and still extremely happy! -
7 months and its hellish.... I am under my wifes thumb. -
Been married 10 years now, the first 2 I'd say were the toughest with most changes and adjustments to get used to. Not too many for us, but some. It's been pretty smooth sailing for us, but I was getting bored around year 7 with no children so we got a cat. Now we have two cats. Got married at 43 so both of us were very set in our ways. -
20 years this year. Some of them have been great and some tough, but I wouldn't change a thing!
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Fifty years. Have been a lost soul for 8 years now. Widower. Never any serious problems. Three kids. It was Heaven on Earth.-
That's the sweetest thing I've heard in awhile.
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Jack, that's so heartwarming. Thanks for sharing.
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Jack, a little quote that I had placed on my dads headstone for you, I'm thinking you can relate.....To live in the Hearts we leave behind is to never die......
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We had the 28th anniversary the 15th. :-)
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im against marriage. being with the same person for more than a weekend is wrong -
17 years and still going strong...most of the time
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5 years in November.
With this husband, of course. -
Until acquiring cancer receiving palliative care -
11 years today! No itch here. Love him more and more everyday.
Dora Renee' Wilkerson
bricoreandfamily.blogspot.com/ -
Our 8 year anniversary is in 9 days. Marrying him was one of the best decisions of my life, it has gotten better each year. -
11 yrs.
first few were great.. last few have been a living hell. -
On Oct. 11th it'll be 1 year for me (although we've lived together for 5 now.) I was w/my ex for 10 1/2 years, but we never got married. -
I've been married for 4 years. Everyday is a new blessing and opportunity to learn more about each other. -
me coming to 3 years. it's very different from single life but i am getting used to it...just have to give and take a lot -
have a happy time mariamichelle, nice to hear about ya.. well, im unmarried though -
1 year and half, IIRC. >_> -
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Thirteen years today! He was, still is, and always will be my best friend. -
15 years is my great life;
She is still my great woman ! -
I've been married for 3 years now, (known him for 4) and I believe in the first 5 year theory. I've got an identity crisis, as I'm not quite sure how to be a married woman. I have no problems getting along with my husband, just what I am regarding to everyone else is a problem! -
I have been married 13 years...and I believe in the "7" year itch but I think that can really come at any time. It depends on the couple. I think ours hit around 9 years but after we got over that hump if you will our marriage has been better and stronger than ever. We are closer and every aspect of our marriage is fresh and wonderful....even more so than it was in the beginning. I think our love grows daily. -
Hi
I have been married for nearly 5 years and been together a total of almost 8 years. It has it ups and down, as most marriages do. -
i have been married for the last 61/2 years and it's great
because of the differences in the male female communication lines there are adjustments and sacrifices that are needed and the trust has to be there -
3 and a half years. Hasn't been hard so far, but I'm sure there'll be some moment of hardness at some point.
How does the 7 year itch and the others know when to strike, as people have very different lengths of dating, living together and engagements..? -
6 years. This November will be 7. I met and married a wonderful person who is very supportive and loving. I'm very blessed, or if you don't care for that term ... lucky -
I have been married to the same woman for 33 years LOL -
I am so sick of hearing and reading about this topic. No one wants to COMMIT, even in marriage. You give vows, do they not mean something? Are they just words you pass around like a joint? Only meaning something at the point in the here and now that you utter them, or do YOU chose to have integrity and not bother to utter false promises that you don't intend to keep, unless they fulfill your agenda, whatever that agenda may be at any given moment? -
I thought it was five years but I just started to count and it's going to be seven years this October.
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