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If you could trade-in your family?
Posted by LolitaV • 7/08/09 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
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which member would you keep or trade.
I would trade my parents or everyone and just keep my gran.
User Comments
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i guess you all have perfect families then?
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LOL!!!! I would never dream of trading in anyone in my family other than my father. I wish my step father was my real dad. I think I'd be a lot less coo-koo if that were the case. -
If we are talking about the past I would suggest my dad for various reasons mythoughtsalways.blogspot.com/2008/10/my-thoughts-i-feel-sorry-for-him.html
He died so there is no need to replace anybody.
If it were possible... When I was a kid I used to daydream Dirk Benedict was my dad.-
Face from the A-Team?
Aw, Shirley... -
Yup, too old for me but cute enough to be my daddy. A-Team and the original Battlestar Galactica. I can't watch the new one I'm ruined for life.
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There is only one person in my family that I would want to trade, but if I did so, I'd have nothing to blog about.
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I'd like to trade myself in for a slightly younger model. -
I have plenty of not so pleasant history with my family, but I don't think I would trade anyone in. My mom has mellowed with age and is not quite as mean as she used to be. My brother will eventually get his act together.
My dad, well, I could probably trade him in for a dad who wasn't a convicted felon serving a life sentence.-
what did he do?
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He is serving a life sentence for 3 counts of murder, arson, fraud. He owned a small electronics shop and had made friends with some unsavory Korean mob types. Well, his business was failing and the accusation was that he paid these two men to set fire to the business for the insurance money. The fire grew out of control and 3 firemen were killed when the roof collapsed on them. He has always claimed that he didn't do it. These guys who actually set the fire were seriously bad people. Small ethnic mobs in Chicago have a history of leaning on small business owners. I think that these guys set fire to the store because my dad stopped giving them money. Then when they got caught, they pointed the finger at him in exchange for being deported instead of prosecuted.
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that's messed up!! I am very sorry. was your father an immigrant?
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Yes, we're Korean. Every ethnic group has a mob and I think they played a part in this.
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It's hard being an immigrant in America. It's like being stuck in 2 worlds/having double identities that you must fit in at once. I hope your dad will make it emotionally and you right alongside him. I am just sad though that the ones who lit up the place got away with murder.
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This happened 25 years ago.
The men who actually set the fire were deported and my grandmother told me that they were alerted by the police that both men were murdered by another crime syndicate in Seoul not long after my father's conviction.
So, bad men meet bad ends. -
bad men meet bad ends.
this gives me hope!
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I wouldn't. I love them and they're part of who I am. -
I'm with Shirley here. I would have traded my dad in a heartbeat--the molesting bastard. Like Shirley's dad, mine is dead--but I have often wondered what my life would have turned out like if I hadn't been molested by my dad growing up.-
You can't have Dirk though.
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That's okay--I'll take another TV dad.
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i pick Bill Cosby
Did you ever press charges against your dad? -
@Lolita--no, I never did. I did confront him a few years ago, which was the most freeing thing I have ever done.
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MT You are one strong woman. Thank you!
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I don't have family... LOL!
It's a long story - and some day I might blog on it - but I'm not really a family kinda person... Sigh... -
Nah, I like a certain amount of pain and suffering. It lets me hone my sarcasm.
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- I wouldn't change any of my family members for the world. No matter whether I happen to like them or dislike them as individuals, they have all helped me to become the person I am now, and to make the choices to become the person I am aiming to be.
As I am a survivor of child abuse, I have to remind myself of that reality each and every day. I am grateful that I survived and in doing so that I gained the knowledge, insight and tools to become a better person than my abusers were and are.-
were you abused by family member(s) and if so, how did you move on from it and what kind of relation do you have with him/her/them?
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- Yes, I was abused by a family member and my extended family members and the members of the southern baptist cult we all belonged to were well aware of the abuse, and enabled its continuance for years on end.
They were more concerned about protecting their church's reputation and shutting me and the other victims up than they were about our health, safety and survival. Therefore, myself and the others received no medical attention for our physical injuries, which have continued to plague us throughout our adult lives, and will be with us to the grave.
I have no relationship at all with my abuser nor with any of the enablers either. However, I bear them no ill will as I understand how sick they truly are. I do not seek vengeance because holding onto hatred would only poison me with bitterness.
I escaped from the cult and returned and rescued my siblings and my cousins from the cult. Today there is an entire contingent on one side of my family that never ever dares to contact me. They never step foot on my property as they know I will charge them with trespassing if they ever do.
They are high profile people in America's right wing religious circles, who all live in the fear that I will identify them by name in my book and without doubt or hesitation I most assuredly will. I will do so because I do not wish to see the brainwashing, mind control techniques and beatings to happen to other children.
Coming from such a family has made me a strong and clear minded woman, who will never put up with any form of abuse coming from anyone. Therapy sessions with a psychologist, and being a member of a group of adults, who also suffered childhood abuse at the hands of religious zealots and enablers has assisted me to go deep within, to heal myself, and to move on. -
- I forgot to add that recovery from abuse is a life long process.
I know this and I accept this. -
Giant hugs to you.
Even when it's not about blogs, you still help me
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@lolita
- {{{HUGS}}} and ♥ right back to you
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I am also a survivor of child abuse and have done the therapy thing and moved on. You made a comment here, however, that opened a new door for me...it had not occurred to me that some of the health problems I deal with daily may have their roots in the abuse I suffered as a child.
Something for me to think on...
As far as trading in my family...well, there are a few members I would like to dismiss but, thankfully, most of them are already dead. And my inlaws (this time around) are just wonderful!
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When my wife turned 41, I said that now it was too late to trade her in on two twenty-year olds.
She said I couldn't handle two twenty-year olds.
I would like to try.-
trust me, if you have money and don't mind their seeking attention and testing it with models their own age. I say go ahead.
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I would trade my kids in for a nice dog. No just kidding I would not trade any one in my family just some days the kids get on my nerves so bad I would think really hard about it but never do it. I could not imagine my life with out any of them.-
i meant your WHOLE family. we all joke about the kids (i promise to sell them to the circus) but we never mean a word of it.
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Then defently no I would not trade m whole family for nothing in the world they are great
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I would trade my Dad! He married too many times for my taste. I don't like step-mothers! -
I wouldn't trade in my family; it would be swapping one set of problems for another. Better the ones you know.
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I keep my husband of course and you can have all the rest!
Mother, father, stepmother, aunt, cousin, 2 brothers (1 transvestite) 1 sister, 2 nieces and a nephew I will even deliver them for free!
So sad yet so true! -
God, when I read about the childhoods some of you had I feel I grew up in the Garden of Eden. I'm so sorry for all the pain and humiliation so many of you had to endure. And at the same time so proud and in awe of the amazing people you've all become.
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You should really think about changing your name. The irony doesn't please me
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TT said
"I forgot to add that recovery from abuse is a life long process.
I know this and I accept this."
I just spent 4 days with my father after 20 years of not speaking.
Everything was fine, great actually until we said goodbye........
While we were alone he grabbed me, pressed himself against me and kissed me as my husband would.
There had been traces of that behaviour all through my childhood but after 20 years and the fact that I am 50 shocked the hell out of me.
Dunno why but I just had to share that with you! -
i am at a loss for words. what did you do? do you speak to him?
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Fully functional family here. All 4 kids got along. Laughter at the dinner table growing up. Love and respect pervades our family ties.
I'm definitely in the minority, I know that.-
SHOW OFF!
lol -
"Na na na na na na"
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I would never.... my family has their faults ...and. believe me I can't stand some of my family members but I will always love and be there for them no matter what! Even if they aren't or weren't there for me
I love my family-
we all love our families but aren't there times when you wish that one was/would act different?
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Hell Yea! I am at odds with some of my family members right at this very moment. I wish they would act another way,but no matter how much argueing we do,I still love and would run to china and back for all of them.
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I'd trade my dog.-
probly could put an ad in the Nickle Ads -
You think I can trade a full breed male pitt for half a cow? I sure could use some steaks.
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Mum and Step-mum...my mother tries to ruin everything (her response to the news that I got a great job was to say that I might become allergic to the dog and get sick)...my step-mum is a lot like my mother, only more irritating.
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the in-laws, yes
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you bet me to the same comment - but I was gonna say just mother in law, there is a father in law but he's out of the picture most of the time
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@LolitaV
This just happened on Monday evening and he left Tuesday morning.
I didn't say anything at the time because I don't want the drama and this was most likely the last time I will ever see him.
It made me realize there will never ever ever be "real father/daughter relationship" and he is just a silly old goat!
He no longer has the power to destroy! -
I wouldn't trade anyone in my family for anything. They are everything to me. -
Yea rainy,that's how I'm with my family to. My cousins are more like my bro's & sis's....our family is very close,but I am kind of the black sheep,as much as I love them I never seem to make them proud of me. I kinda have always felt like I just don't belong.
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I know what you mean.
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