User Comments

  1. wagerwitch
    The first thing that popped up in my mind was:

    "WHAT IN THE H - E - DOUBLE FREAKING TOOTHPICKS WERE YOU THINKING?"

    And I am NOT joking.

    Sad to say.

    But I wouldn't talk to God any differently than I think - because if he exists - then he already knows what I am thinking - and I cannot be ANYONE but myself with someone so omnipotent. RIGHT?
    1. acousticguitarist
      i was just curious what people would say because the questions means something different to everyone.
    2. acousticguitarist
      so it's a HE is it?
    3. acousticguitarist
      maybe when I post it's worth reading my tags, that way you'll know how serious I am
    4. jeremyjanson
      Sorry. The question was too thought provoking. You're just going to have to learn to accept how deep you are.
  2. anthony9910
    I would ask this:

    Where the hell have you been???
  3. Sebastyne
    "I was right, wasn't I?" *high five*
  4. HollytheHousewife
    I would say...."what up?! Big DADDY...show me where the ANGELS DANCE!!!
  5. jeremyjanson
    For once in my life I'd try to listen instead.
    1. jasonthebaldguy
      @jeremyjanson showoff! jk
  6. MissSuzie
    "I want my money back."
    1. iratedog
      bahahahaha
  7. HollytheHousewife
    Awe you don't like ur show
  8. KFrangeskos
    Hey, I missed you
    (with a big smile on my face)
  9. dfunzy
    I don't know what I would say. I would probably sit down and smile.
    1. thetravellingteddi
      I'd say, "Hi! I know i know... I'm practically screwed. Hell damnation is waiting for me, all the fire and the burning and the deep trenches full of hot molten blah blah blah. But you know, the next time you create humans, make sure they come sin-free and everything fried, is fat and calories-free. OK, I'll throw myself in now. Oh by the way, nice robe ;)"

      or i'll just go, "What now?"
  10. npuhalsky
    The texting was necessary to get through the cub scout meeting without wishing a kid would trip.
  11. npuhalsky
    The texting was necessary to get through the cub scout meeting without wishing a kid would trip.
  12. rosebelle
    Thank him for all the blessings - happiness, health, and a wonderful family.
  13. crawler
    Oh God ! You are really great !
    1. timethief
      I think those who answer your question will presume that *God has a corporeal form possessed of either male, female or androgynous attributes. In other words I believe most believers personify God.

      To me * God is neither male nor female, neither good nor bad, neither light nor darkness but contains all there is and situate everywhere. God is found in everyone and in everything; God just keeps on experiencing LOVE.

      *God, the One becomes many to experience LOVE. It is nothing but a quest for LOVE, and throughout time (I use that term loosely) puts on the garb of billions of beings to experience LOVE.

      The journey from self to SELF, is the journey, where God gradually shakes off the ignorance and reclaims the Divinity, or becomes is conscious of his/her/its Divine Reality – LOVE.

      This means I meet *God every day for there is nowhere that *God is not present.
    2. environmentalbooty
      God is Love. Heaven is on Earth and I would not have any need to ask God anything if I met him today.
  14. polybore
    If you want to get "friendly" with polybore you are going to have to do better than a swan.
    1. polybore
      ref to Zeus.
  15. Xight
    WUZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP I still don't believe in you though.
  16. gonegaga
    this is not the life i ordered, but i'm grateful anyway
    1. jeremyjanson
      He'd probably answer back, "you don't want the life you ordered, trust me!"
  17. davedol
    I’d ask God how the kangaroo got on Noah’s Ark. The backstroke? It’s a long swim across the ocean from Australia to the Middle East. After the flood, why did the kangaroos swim across the ocean to get back to Australia? Why not just settle down nice and comfortable around Mount Ararat? Same question goes for the koala bear.

    Now, if I were God, my answer would be this. “Before the Great Flood, kangaroos and koala bears had wings. They flew to Noah’s Ark. After the Great Flood, they flew back. After they returned, their wings fell off, and all their offspring.” So says the Lord.
    1. jeremyjanson
      He'd laugh so hard! He probably is laughing hard right now.
    2. acousticguitarist
      are you aware that they found Snakrit writing in the Australian Snowy mountains in the 1980's but little information was published on this find. The writing was dated as 40,000 years old?
    3. jeremyjanson
      Not too surprising. I can see the folks in India sailing to Australia, and the climate was different back then so there could've been urban civilization there once upon a time that traded with them.
    4. acousticguitarist
      i think they walked
  18. davedol
    If the Kangaroos walked from Australia to the Middle East, they’d have to avoid all the dinosaurs that existed before the Great Flood. How could koloa bears avoid being eaten by the T-Rex and all the other dinosaur carnivores?

    Then again, how did our modern cow and chicken avoid getting eaten by the pre-flood dinosaurs? Another question for God.
    1. acousticguitarist
      koalas used to be bigger, and whenever they get scared they do that mating call sound, if you heard it you'd run. The thought of being bonked by a giant koala would be enough to get any dino running.
    2. acousticguitarist
      dinosaurs can't make chicken soup, are you crazy or something, surely you'd know that
  19. sorcerer
    Long time ..no see.
  20. footiam
    I don't think I'd recognize him.
  21. crazyTsu
    I already have a conversation going .. I will say: you always manage to prove yourself right, in spite of giving me all the advantages in the game - but, I am not ready to give up yet!
  22. HollytheHousewife
    Seriously I would just start to WORSHIP
  23. greenindia
    I would ask the correct address of hell for dumping some ploliticians there.
    1. acousticguitarist
      yopu don't need to dump them, they have a free pass
  24. maejean
    I have already told him its been hell, and I appreciate it all, thankyou for not leaving me.
  25. voodooKobra
    It would be a waste of breath to cast off a question into an uncaring, unresponsive void of nonexistence.
    1. jeremyjanson
      He might disagree.
    2. voodooKobra
      He? It has a personality?
    3. voodooKobra
      I should have said gender, but my previous statement follows logically too, if you don't try to overthink it.
  26. sorcerer
    What if God is one of us..or the stranger in the bus?
    1. jeremyjanson
      Sheeps and Goats...
    2. timethief
      What if *God is present in all of us and in all there is?
  27. SaNn
    I will try to get a guide from the god on how to get 3 million....
  28. marloperez
    please help us..
  29. iratedog
    I'd say, "OI! OMNIPOTENT GUY! When was the last time you read your inbox?!"
  30. LolitaV
    is it true you can knock someone up with just a thought? how about orgasms?
  31. FaithfulinPrayer
    Help, get me outta here!

    and

    Exactly why did you create mosquitos and cockroaches?
  32. nothingprofound
    What's your secret? How did you get all that traffic?

    Can I drop a link in the Holy Book?
  33. NatetheGrate
    I'd say, "What's up, dog?"
    1. acousticguitarist
      and God would say, you need to see about your dyslexia
  34. Shiley
    Where did the dinosaurs go? I call God he BTW but I don't think God is a he or she.
  35. newblogmogul
    Ask him do he wanna chill wit me and the mob.
  36. petchatter
    I've been waiting for this moment all of my life, oh Lord...
  37. ToughCookieMommy
    I would thank Him for all the blessing that He has bestowed upon me in my life.
  38. christibroer
    Thanks for the people who have crossed my path, and thanks for the super music I've had the chance to experience!
  39. avarana
    I WOULD ASK HIM TO STRIKE YOU DOWN with the power of enlightment.
  40. Theresa111
    After hugging God I would smile and tell Him, "Forgive me, but sometimes You have a very weird sense of humor." And then I would proceed to do ten minutes of stand-up comedy.
  41. harleyblues
    " are you there God? It's Me Margaret"

    always stuck in my head~
  42. sorcerer
    where you been? Your coffee is getting cold!

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