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If you saw your best friend's husband/wife out on a date with someone else...
Posted by Pasquella • 10/01/09 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: breakups, cheating, relationships
What would you do?
1. Tell your best friend what you had seen?
2. Do nothing and keep it to yourself, because it may possibly backfire on you?
3. Confront your best friend's spouse and ask them yourself?
4. Embarrass your best friend's spouse while knowing he or she is out on a date?
User Comments
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5. Maybe they are just friends?-
Well that would go under category 3 then....go up say hi and find out for yourself... But very true though!
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I would approach them and see how they reacted. That would likely reveal a lot about whether it was really a "date" or something more innocent. It would also put them on notice that I knew. What I did next would depend on how that played out.-
This is a no-brainer... Call my friend and tell him/her to come meet me. Wait 10 min and go confront them. That way when my friend arrives, the wheels are already in motion. Some people have told me I am 2 direct. Sorry. -
I value directness, but I wouldn't intentionally put my friend in a position that might be very emotionally difficult and embarrassing for her when it might turn out to be entirely unnecessary. This sounds more like a taste for drama than directness.
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Yes good call. My cuz's hubby had a little to much to drink one night and grabbed my ass behind her back,I busted him out so bad that my cuz didn't have to do a damn thing, except for she didn't go home to him for a few nights.thank GOD they're divorcing.... -
Mind my business.-
Do you not consider the well-being of your friends your business? (serious question)
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I have no idea what would constitute their well-being. That's not a decision I can make, but only one they can make for themselves.
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2. Probably keep it to myself.
Thanks for not putting "Blackmail" as choice #5. I would have probably been a little slower in my decision. (just kidding) -
I'd go with #3 in the sense of going up and saying "Hi "Brad" where's "Lisa" tonight? I meant to give her a call and seeing you here reminded me that I need to call her - who's this?"
Unless of course they are kissing and making it obvious that he's cheating. In that instance, snap a picture with my phone, call my girlfriend and ask her if she ok'd her husband out on a date because I just got proof. I've been cheated on - I wish people who knew would have thrown it in my face because I would have left sooner. -
Years ago I was walking down Lexington ave in New York, I happened to see my cousin's wife walking through the crowd. As I approached her I noticed her hand extended into a hand of a man that was not my cousin.
I did a U-turn, they divorced a year later. That was in the early 70's. Till this day I have not mentioned it to him. No sense smearing pain his face.
I felt at the time, it was his business, his house to take of. Sometimes people will not believe you if you open your mouth.
Then they resent you forever.
So, #2 would be my answer. Mind your business.
Relationships are not always what they appear to be. -
2. Do nothing and keep it to myself, because it may possibly backfire on me.
I won't get involved, because frankly, it's none of my business. -
Say nothing, keep it to yourself.
It's none of your business and quite honestly, getting involved in your friend's relationship is a recipe for ending the friendship. -
Fortunately, I don't have any best friends so I would never be put into that situation.
However .. if it did... I would do two things.
1) try to get them to see me so they know I've seen them and introduce me to the new friend.
2) then item (2) do nothing and keep it to myself because unless it affects me directly, it's none of my business. -
I'd pretend I didn't see them so they wouldn't tell my husband wife I was out with someone else's husband wife. -
I like the answer from MadameX, determining whether the date is business or illicit pleasure.
Should it fall in the latter category, I'd have a talk with the wrong-doer first and give them a chance get honest with their partner. If they refused, I'd step in because there are some sexually transmitted diseases that even Clorox and a scrub brush cannot cure ....things so contagious that the health of children and other family members could be jeopardized. -
I'm fascinated by the number of people who have said "it's none of my business". Where does that end? If you know that an employee is embezzling from a friend of yours, is that "none of your business"? What if his spouse is slipping small amounts of poison into his food every day? Is anything serious enough to become "your business" or do you just stand by and watch your "friends" lose everything and/or die because it's not your business?
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Someone's relationship is none of my business.
I never said it's none of my business if it's a life-threatening situation. -
I'd tell the person what I saw because I'd want to know such a thing myself if the situation were reversed. My budcakes know me for being blunt, they can take it how they wish. I don't see how it would affect my relationship with anyone seeing as I'm just noting what my eyes saw.
I find it important for them to know that their partner is possibly engaging in something shady. -
I'd probably feel very relieved to know that I'm not the only one she is cheating with. -
If it is innocent then there is no problem with bringing it up right? I would go on over and say Hi - watch reactions - if nothings going on, I'd leave it alone. It may not be my business to bring it up - but - I love my friends and having experienced a cheating husband, I know humiliation pain at its best! and it is so much worse when others have known and said nothing. -
I'll just say "Hello!", it's none of my business. -
I would definitely tell my friend. If it was the other way around, I would want someone to tell me. It's ironic because my current blog entry deals precisely with this whole issue of infidelity. -
It's a very hard call but I would definitely have to find out first, by going up to the table and feeling it out. But yes, like ToughCookie said, I would totally want someone to tell me instead of being in the dark. The thing is though, sometimes it backfires and either 1. the person who is being cheated on doesn't believe you or #2. the person being cheated on tolerates it.
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Oh yea....don't you hate when that happens. My cousin tash,I'm trying so hard to teach her that she deserves so much better than what she puts up with from the guys she dates,and the hubby that she is divorcing. She is talking to this boy right now who only calls her at 10 @ night to tell her how much he "loves" her. Never once taken her anywhere,asked about if she needed anything. What is so sad is she falls for these barneys who true,they might be hot but cares nothing about her. It drives me NUTSSSSS
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I choose the second choice. -
Number three and mention what a great time I had at their wedding. i would ask about their spouse and their children. I would introduce myself to their companion and suggest everyone get together for a dinner party ... my best friend included. Hey, if you're going to cheat might as well do it in front of the person you are cheating on. Why leave them out of the equation?
I told my spouse from the beginning that if he ever wanted to cheat on me that I would appreciate his bringing the person in question home and doing it right in front of me. Then I would know it was over. That's honesty. I let him know he is free anytime he wants to leave. So far, we are still together.
I mean ... what's the point? You get married to be well ... married. Ethics is involved here. You took vows in front of church, family and friends and there is nothing COOLER than that! -
If she's beautiful, i will know she's available too! -
option 17:
I'd probably just give a polite nod to the best friend's wife/husband and not make a fuss, just act normal as if there was nothing unusual about the situation, I think that would be enough to set whatever in motion -
the moment she is out of sight pick up that phone
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Bump,cuz ur not getting my title
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It could be a business meeting or nothing at all. It is very DANGEROUS to jump into conclusions without 100% proof. -
Probably 4. That way it would rule out the possibility that they were with there brother/sister or something like that rather than on an actual date. -
2. Do nothing and keep it to yourself, because it may possibly backfire on you.
Don't judge too quickly, things aren't what they sometimes seem to be.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=8dgRTmx9wAg -
2. do nothing and keep it to yourself. -
Well I would say something or call my friend to come see....I know I would want to know
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