Discussions

Interracial dating..

Posted by UrbanJibaro • 6/17/08 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic

I will be covering this on my BlogTalkRadio show tomorrow...

My listenners were interested in exploring a discussion about when whites date blacks, blacks date asians and asians date latinos...

Your opinion...is this even a big deal anymore?

Do people still react to interracial couples?

User Comments

6/17/08

DrowseyMonkey

Wow ... totally not an issue where I live (Toronto). I have a lot of inter-racial marriages/couples in my family & circle of friends. It's a non-issue.

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1. 6/17/08
  
  timethief
  
  @drowsey
  It's a non-issue on the west coast too. We have many interracial couples here.
6/17/08

thewriterspulse

I don't see why it should matter. People can like who they want to like; who am I to stop them?

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1. 6/17/08
  
  timethief
  
  @thewriterspulse
  I agree with you and I would go further and say that it's really no one else's business who we like, date, love and who we marry. It's a matter that's strictly between two consenting adults. And only nosy and mean spirited people will go out of their way to weigh in with an opinion that isn't asked for.
2. 6/18/08
  
  thewriterspulse
  
  Exactly. Just like with anything else, I hate that certain people (many people, in fact) feel the need to project their own personal beliefs on others.
  
  I mean, even if I don't necessarily agree with a certain lifestyle, I'd still defend their right to be who they want to be (as long as it doesn't actually hurt others, of course).
6/17/08

timethief

@urbanjibaro
Your opinion...is this even a big deal anymore?
It's no big deal where I live and hasn't been for about 35 - 40 years but perhaps where you live it's still a topic that's at issue.

Do people still react to interracial couples?
The only people in my community that I have ever heard make any reactionary statements to or about interracial couples have been elderly people, who are well known for making inappropriate and ignorant racist statements.

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6/17/08

focusorganic

As much as it shouldn't be a big deal, I think it still is to some people. Maybe others don't notice it so much. I dated a black guy once, about 9 years ago, and we did get dirty looks. Same thing with dating Hispani men... dirty looks from others. A black female friend of mine dated a white guy, and she said the same thing. I think it's horrible that it even matters to anyone anymore, but it does.

I am happy to see a lot more interracial couples lately, though.

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1. 6/18/08
  
  focusorganic
  
  posted in wrong place
6/17/08

JillSaxon

I married a white guy and we live in Los Angeles. And yeah... we get dirty looks. You'd swear the both of us had 5 heads or something.

As much as I would like to say people have moved past such things as letting race be a divisive factor, I cannot. I agree that who I date/sleep with/marry IS my business, but it doesn't stop others from letting me know how they feel about my decisions.

When we first started dated, it used to bother me... a lot. But now I just stare back and smile and wave. I refuse to let people make me feel weird about something that shouldn't even be an issue. A friend of mine told me that just because the times change, it doesn't mean people do.

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1. 6/17/08
  
  focusorganic
  
  "When we first started dated, it used to bother me... a lot. But now I just stare back and smile and wave."
  
  I love that! I try to do that when I'm given dirty looks for no reason. I did it the other day to a strange man who was staring at me while I drove by. He looked very confused.
2. 6/18/08
  
  JillSaxon
  
  LOL. I like when they look confused. Recently a guy was staring at us in a restaurant, I mean he was seriously drilling holes in my head. Anyway, I smiled and said, "Hi". For the rest of his meal, he didn't even look up. People are so weird.
3. 6/18/08
  
  focusorganic
  
  Responding like that is much more fun than getting angry
4. 6/18/08
  
  Theresa111
  
  JillSaxon, Well done you!
5. 10/12/09
  
  jonyx
  
  Ahh I love your attitude! I'm not sure if I've gotten bad looks for being with my guy, I need to pay attention more. He's half west indian, half British. People always have trouble when they try to figure out what mix he is. I'm Puerto Rican although somehow people confuse me for Jamaican or Caucasian (despite the mile long hips and stuff). We don't get the gasp interracial looks as much as we get the where exactly are you from eyes =/
  
  I do believe people still get a bit twitchy from seeing mixed races together. I wonder what goes on up there when they just stare and stare. You would think it wouldn't be much of anything nowadays.
6/17/08

UrbanJibaro

any of you willing to be part of the show tomorrow...email me at radiocapicu@gmail.com

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6/18/08

offendedblogger

Not as big of a deal as it used to be, for sure. I think it is lovely to see people from different races together and accepted in public.

Heck, I even joke on my blog about having a crush on my taco truck guy. He is muy caliente!

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6/18/08

mariamichelle

I have never understood why this would be an issue. People are people. What difference does it make how much melanin is in their skin?

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6/18/08

Theresa111

UrbanJibaro,

The most important factor in all of this is the feelings we as humans have for someone for whom we care deeply. Love is accepting. Once we all begin to look at one another with love shining forth from our hearts, through our eyes, then we will forget the barriers society has built up to divide us.

We need to embrace our differences and enjoy one another. Get rid of hate, fear, greed and jealousy. Then there will be no need to look down upon couples who appear different.

Variety is the spice of life.

[reply]
1. 6/18/08
  
  mariamichelle
  
  VERY well said Theresa
6/18/08

clioandme

What is interracial dating? Is that like when one person dates another?

[reply]
1. 6/18/08
  
  Theresa111
  
  Yes. The difference is the color of their skin or their ethnicity or cultures. Sad that there seems to be ugly names or titles for when people disapprove of someone's behavior.
2. 6/18/08
  
  mariamichelle
  
  yes not interspecies just interracial
6/18/08

voodooKobra

There's nothing wrong with dating someone of a different "race," nor should there be (as long as you don't mean bestiality). With that said, I have a preference for white girls over black girls.

[reply]
1. 6/18/08
  
  Theresa111
  
  Attraction has much to do with who one chooses to date or marry.
6/18/08

BlueSunshine

My family would have a fit if I brought home a girl that wasn't white. I mean, they wouldn't be outright ignorant but it would raise more than a few eyebrows. I even have some friends that would think ill of me.

With that being said, I'd LOVE to to date a girl who wasn't white for a change. Who cares what people think.

[reply]
1. 6/18/08
  
  Theresa111
  
  Just follow your heart and leave your analytical mind out if it.
2. 6/18/08
  
  BlueSunshine
  
  That's right. I'm tired of miserable white girls anyway.
3. 6/18/08
  
  Theresa111
  
  It might be nicer to say you will broaden your horizons when looking for your next lady to go out with. Simply leave the color out of the equation. After you try it a few times, you'll begin to just see girls or women.
6/18/08

balidreamhome

I just live in a very small island called Bali in far east of Asia continent and here in this island you will meet hundreds of 'mixed' couple and race is not a subject at all and everyone is happy and accept their own choice, cheers :-)

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6/18/08

carlgalloway

I agree, modern humans probably shouldn't date neanderthals. Luckily they're just part of the fossil record now, but I feel really bad about that

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6/18/08

aeye

I dated a white guy for about a year in a college town in MO. We never got looks or anything horrible like that -- but it was a very racially diverse town with many different types of couples. But here in STL I have had people look at me funny and yell rude comments when I am just walking with a white guy who I am not even dating. Very backward. Very rude. Very un-human-like. I don't think it should be big deal. You should be with whoever makes you happy. Regardless.

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6/18/08

DVS

Not an issue. Never should have been an issue. Discussing something so 'not an issue' only serves to make it one and thus embaresses the species,

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6/18/08

calais50

It's still a big issue here in the south, not so much in my town since practically everyone is white.

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6/18/08

GameboyKnight

Florida has to be a very racist state, since I have noticed people openly comment on interracial relationships in public. It's sad that no one can have true feelings for someone they love without being ostracized by the community. My family is one big interracial web, but my grandfather's side, is very foul at family reunions, because they are pure black and we are all Asian/Hispanic/Black/White. It's very upsetting an people need to just realize, people are choosing to intertwine races, it's the way of the future. ADAPT!

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6/18/08

kdawg68

so wait - white's dating asians isn't newsworthy enough to be covered?

What does it matter anyway? The whole idea of "race" is so absurd. It's not some constant that has always been in place. Our skin colors have changed as we've traversed the globe, and even the definitions we use today of "white" and "black' have grey areas or have not always included people that we accept as such today.

It's largely a non-issue. We don't even get stares anymore. I think people are used to interracial couples now, although there are some you don't typically see that might still draw glances from folks. Namely:

-you don't see a lot of asian men with black women
-you don't see as many white men with black women as you see black men with white women

apart from those situations that folks might still be surprised by, I think by and large most folks don't find anything unusual with "interracial" couplings.

Nor should they.

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6/18/08

interestingingrid

I don't think it's an issue in most places anymore. But it is somewhat where I live.

A lot of the smaller towns around us have a lot of very close minded people so I do know in some places, it does still cause a problem for some people.

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6/18/08

morgantj

I am caucasian and my wife is Japanese. It has never been an issue with us nor has anyone ever expressed a concern about it to us. That is, on color or race alone. There may be cultural differences, but that is to be expected, and for me it is welcomed, as it is great to learn cultural differences in that it allows us to become more understanding of one another and the world.

We have four children who are obviously half Japanese half caucasian and my wife worries about how other children will treat and accept them. Primarily a concern for how mixed children are accepted and treated especially by the two races they are mixed between. Will they be accepted by both because the share that commonality or will they be rejected by both becuase they are not in the eyes of that race, complete or pure in that one particular race.

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6/18/08

namastemea

good question. i live in the northeast and while it is not as large an issue as it was in the past, there are still some people that make it an issue. they're miserable and unhappy with their own lives, so they want to make others unhappy too. and they use their ignorance as an excuse to do so. i did a post on this very topic a while ago on one of my blogs.

if you're interested, here is the link.

1canseeclearlynow.blogspot.com/2007/10/interracial-dating.html

~maria

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6/18/08

mitch972

Wow..How did I miss this topic yesterday... LOL

There still is a certain part of society that looks at interracial couples in a strange manner.
There is a big difference between the younger generation (20's-30's) that don't pay any attention to it. I see most of the problem comes from older people hanging on to history.

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10/12/09

AtlanticEquity

comment removed by the community.

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10/12/09

jeremyjanson

Only an issue if you make it one, or if you live somewhere like the AA districts of Atlanta in which case, move.

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10/12/09

ToughCookieMommy

I think it is definitely an issue in some places. My husband and I still encounter ignorance even in a large and diverse city like New York. There are still a lot of closed minded people out there. They should realize that nobody is pure anything anymore, we are all mixed with something.

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10/12/09

environmentalbooty

My daughter (13) has her first boyfriend. The first question my mom asked when I told her was, "What color is he?" I don't think it is that she is a racist, I think she felt she needed to prepare herself for something different. It made me think a lot about this topic and current feelings as opposed to the feelings of generations past.

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10/12/09

offendedblogger

I'd totally date outside my race if the hubs would let me!

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10/12/09

crazyTsu

Our people anyway avoid each other in foreign country, so they might as well date Americans and others

My cousin wedded inter-racially and my aunt is forever heart-broken, and wouldnt speak to me because I supported him!

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10/12/09

trailofpen

You've got to be kidding me. Is this an issue? No. Hey guess what, I'm interracial, so basically if I can't find someone with the same racial mixture as me, then I'll be having an interracial relationship.

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