Discussions
introduce a "friend" by approval only feature
Posted by timethief • 2/08/09 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: blog catalog, friend by approval only feature
- In some other social networks and social media sites members are required to request and to be approved as "friends" of other members.
- On one hand, having a "friend" by approval only feature would discourage new and existing members from simply adding other members as friends without ever visiting their blogs, commenting on posts, or forming a relationship with them.
- On the other hand, having a "friend" by approval only feature would encourage members contemplating sending out friend requests to actually visit blogs, read them, leave comments, and ascertain whether or not the bloggers they visit are compatible selections to send a friend request to.
- Having the opportunity to examine "friend" by requests will also prevent one from being designated as a "friend" by another member without prior knowledge or agreement.
- Having the opportunity to examine "friend" requests would promote mutual blog visiting and post reading (ie. increase member interaction), prior to either acceptance or rejection of a friend request.
- Having the opportunity to approve all "friends" may increase mutual support between friends (ie. increase member promotion of each other's blogs), following acceptance of a friend request.
Credit: This thread has been posted due to the discussion found here www.blogcatalog.com/discuss/entry/remove-friends
Discussion questions:
(1) Do you support the introduction of a "friend" by approval only feature?
(2) If so, why?
(3) If not, why not?
User Comments
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Of course i favor such a feature. The auto approval feature has led many to show their number of friends more than 3000. I have seen in many sites like Orkut one cannot be a friend without the approval of the other party. it is but reality that friendship is mutual and a kind of agreement of views, culture, proximity and identical point of views on various issues. So, if someone does not subscribes one's point of view or culture or theme in case of blogging one cannot be a friend. Of course they can be followers like in Twitter. I follow does not mean that the other one follow. In twitter one can have thousands of follower but he might be following 100.
So, in BC the auto approval system should be done away with and a new system of prior approval should start to make it more responsive to the need of blogging and friendship.
I follow my friends and cautiously add. Of course i am friend of many bloggers but i am not friend to them. So let's call them followers and not brand them as friend. Friendship cannot be a one sided affair and if it is one sided then it is not friendship in right sense. Two people can share good rapport, share identical views and perspective but they may not be friend or later they may be friend.
I totally support a Pre-Approval system.
Thanks -
I don't really mind if someone wishes to friend me who I may not know. It's their choice and I don't see a problem with it as long as they're not spamming my shoutbox.
I myself tend to friend people I do actually interact with on the boards. But I don't see that being affected, by the more random friending.-
@thriftshopromantic
Thanks for sharing your opinion with us.
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Yes and no.
Being able to approve a friend request could limit other's ability to follow your media activity without your consent, which is a good thing.
However, having to approve friendships also requires time and effort on behalf of the BC member, and so could either prevent people from networking properly, or discourage people who have made friend requests even if they were never rejected, only ignored.
I would almost better support a way to remove friends who have begun friending/following you without your consent. Particularly in the vein of a member harassing or cyber stalking you.-
@Anok
[quote] I would almost better support a way to remove friends who have begun friending/following you without your consent. Particularly in the vein of a member harassing or cyber stalking you. [/quote]
Hmmm ... thanks for posting that idea. -
i agree with the removal piece. kind of like opting out of them, but at least they get a chance to show that they are a fan of you before you "deny" them.
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I'd argue any point of view here, but I've got a mild preference for keeping the 'friend' feature the way it is.
For one thing, I don't have to check in and confirm people - and possibly make them wonder why it took me 24 hours or more to do so.
I do see your points, like "On the other hand, having a 'friend' by approval only feature would encourage members contemplating sending out friend requests to actually visit blogs, read them, leave comments, and ascertain whether or not the bloggers they visit are compatible selections to send a friend request to."
But, I'm not as intense about the 'friends' thing as many are - BTW, everyone whose 'shout' I haven't replied to? Sorry about that! I've been distracted lately. ('That's my story, and I'm sticking with it.')-
@norski
Thanks for telling us what you think and where you stand. When I first arrived I decided that I should have an unlimited number of freinds. I added members as friends whether or not we had related blogs. I added members as freinds even though I wasn't interested in the subject matter in their blogs. I added some simply because I enjoyed their posts on the forum. Now I'm going through a "pruning" phase. I have pruned my favorite blogs down to a manageable number to read. -
timethief,
Good points all around.
Believe me, I wouldn't mind BlogCatalog having a feature like the one you describe - it's just that I'm satisfied with the status quo.
Good thing, that you and others bring this sort of thing up, yes?
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I like friend suggestions, kinda like on facebook rathen then approval.-
@modelelaine
I hear you also.
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I personally want to approve anyone that wants to be called my friend.
Why should the Internet be any different than real life?
If I don’t like what they have posted on their web site I surely don’t want them being my friend. -
I support the option, but not as the only option. Because they won't be added on my friends list when they add me, I don't mind them adding me. Unfortunately requiring approval will not stop these people from adding you without reading your profile, they'll just do it anyway and then force you to check why they added you.
Nowadays I don't even notice if someone adds me as a friend. I'll add people I'm interested in and that's it. There's a lot of people who add me because they want to seem popular. Fine. Anyone with a half a brain knows that 3000 friends are not genuine. -
I fully support it. I do not want to be associated with people who only add me as "friend" in order to draw me or other people to their site which contains content which I am not interested in nor necessarily support. I confess that when I signed up I was not aware of this "friend" feature at all. Sebastyne makes some excellent points. I am only noticing because I am new to this service and trying to understand it. -
@Sebastyn you have a very good point. I fully agree with you. 3000 friends too and 1000 too unmanageable. It is here only i have 75 but in Orkut i have 9 in four years. In ibibo i have 8 in a year. I choose and will always choose. Of course i follow many blogs of my need and niche but as far as adding one is concerned, i think twice. Now i have many, as followers as i have not added them. Interestingly, not a single of that group visit my profile let alone my blog.
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So long as it's an opt-in option, I'd be fine with it. I agree with folks that it takes time and attention to approve friend requests and you never know who's going to take offense that you waited three days to get to your queue. If you're willing to keep up with it, that's fine. Personally, I'd keep the option shut off and let whoever wants to follow my completely public activity go ahead and do so.-
Yes, have a check box with "always ask for approval" or "never ask for approval".
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@Anok
I like the opt in or opt out idea.
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I don't get it.
Have the BC admin hire you to solicit changes to the existing forums either in a design or functionality situation?
Why are you creating all these new threads? It's like spamming - when there is no legitimate objective for a conclusion to the argument or postings.
i.m.h.o.-
@petlvr
I have legitimately posted general discussion threads and members have posted to comments to them. My sole purpose in doing so was to initiate discussion that may or may not provoke Admin interest in introducing additional features. You have voluntarily entered the threads and left your comments, which I have noted. Thanks for your contributions. -
These were all suggestions posted at the feedback boards that poor behavior forced admin to abandon. I think it's actually a good idea to let those suggestions get some air without the sort of anonymity that people took as a license to really cut loose in the other spots.
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You are a naughty boy Hart!
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I can't possibly see the need for this feature.-
@Cooper
Thanks for weighing in.
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Nah, look out for the little guy, [as a good American should] annd you can delete a friend.-
@gentledove
Yes we can delete a friend but that's not what this is about. At present other BC members can add us as friends without our consent. Some members do not like this and want to see a change made and that's what this thread is about.
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I like approving my friends, the ones that have chosen me as a friend.. honor me.. I eventually get down to the list and visit and review their blogs when I can.
Maybe the friends list should be private. So that I can only see my lists on my profile, and no one else can. That way I don't have to worry about some-one's feelings getting hurt because I haven't rotated my top friends or took one off or added someone that someone else my not like. It would be for my information only.
And I wouldn't be hurting any-one's feelings if I didn't add them or approve of them as friends. Because they would never know.
That way I can still use the friendships to promote my new blog posts etc.-
@arcticulates
Maybe the friends list should be private. So that I can only see my lists on my profile, and no one else can. ...
That's an idea that I haven't heard before. Thanks for sharing what you think with us.
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I would say no since it sounds a little discriminatory.
I would like to see something else to regulate the introductions like you have to prove yourself a decent person before you are accepted or something along that line.-
@buddhaofhollywood
I don't know of any means that could be used to accomplish what you suggest other than pre-approval of friends as is suggested in the OP.
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What I want to know is how blogs are rated here. Does the size of one's friends list count? It would seem so--that would explain why dozens of people I've never heard of keep friending me. ("Mizdemeanor" literally just added me & I don't know her, either.) Does anyone know?
How about an option to remove one's self as a friend (& blocking another, unapproved attempt,) at least.-
@LGramlich
I' not sure if you mean "how blogs are ranked here at BC" or if you mean how blogs are rated by BC members.
Yes, the number of freinds and favorites members have are most likely factors in determining BC Blog rank, if that's what you mean. And yes, that's probably why we see some members adding hundreds and even thousands of freinds and blogs as favorites.
What do the BC Blog Stats mean?
Blog Rank - a special formula that analyzes your hits, views, comments, neighborhood members and other special secret ingredients to create a numeric score based on a 100 point scale. Your Blog Rank is primarily used to determine the order blogs appear in our Directory and Search Results. The higher your score the better your placement.
Views - The number of unique visitors that have looked at your BlogCatalog listing
Hits - The number of unique visitors that have clicked through to your blog from BlogCatalog.
From: www.blogcatalog.com/help/
If it turns out that you were referring to how BC members rate each others blogs then a thre word answer is independently and subjectively. Answers with more words are found here www.blogcatalog.com/discuss/entry/id-like-your-feedback-and-ideas-about-rat...
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I really wanted to know what you think of my idea?
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Another online group I belong to does it a bit differently. If you add someone to your friends, you become their "fan." Only if that person friends you back do you become their friend.
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Yes!
This feature should have been from the start. This is a social Network where human being stay! Remember Mama warning "Don't talk to stranger"
Truly I don't have time for those who add friend to get popular in the BC popular page.
Can't differentiate who really want to be my friend.
Truly, I don't have a single friend in BC yet.
I want a mutual friend. This is what BC has been missing for long-
Ditto. -
@weblogian and sisterofmercy
I hear you.
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Seconded-
@csunitac
Do you mean that you second the idea in the OP?
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In blogcatalog.. when someone adds you as a friend.. it is not binding on you to do the same to the other..
If I am aded as a friend to some X.. it is only his inbox/dashboard etc that gets flooded with my updates.. so what difference does tat make to me? I can always add the other person if I care to follow his updates.-
@dsriharsha
Understood - thanks for posting.
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I think it should be an opt in/out feature. An email should be sent with the person's profile should be sent so you can look at the profile before deciding.
And I also think there should be some sort of 'friend' cap to limit potential spamming issues. How can you justify having 5K to 10K friends on your list?
My two cents...-
@avideogameplayer
opt in or opt out options - I agree
some sort of 'friend' cap to limit potential spamming issues.
I think the idea of a friend cap is interesting but judging from previous responses to the mere suggestion of any limitations whatsoever, I'm hear to tell you that if you try floating that trial balloon here at BC that you'd better have a string on it. ... lol
How can you justify having 5K to 10K friends on your list?
Remember that no justification is required when there is no limitation in place. That being said, IMO there's no way anyone can convince me that they have actual relationships with 5K to 10K friends. IMO what obsessively racking up those kind of numbers is all about is:
(1) playing the numbers game to increase ranking (the more friends and favorite blogs you acquire the more this elevates your ranking); and
(2) using your social media broadcast position (huge numbers of friends and followers) to create authority that was previously only derived from "a deeper endorsement of their work be it links, subscribers, or sharing of content." socialmediaanswers.com/page/2/
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A combination is better... Perhaps one can limit that the first 100 friends that you add is without any approval of confirmation from the other party. And from 100 onwards, whoever you befriend with, an approval or confirmation is required.-
@darren1985
Thanks for sharing your suggestion.
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No. We should be allowed to choose our own friends without all of the strategic hoopla and time consuming rules. If someone doesn't want to be my friend all they have to do is remove themselves. Friends ... when one thinks about it you only end up with about ten or so throughout your life. Perhaps friends should be renamed as acquaintances.
Seems like it isn't as fun here anymore. So many of the lovely bloggers have gone missing. I feel a bit saddened about this. We should think about how to encourage them to come back! And make it not so much about restrictions and such. I love BlogCatalog!-
@Theresa111
We should be allowed to choose our own friends without all of the strategic hoopla and time consuming rules.
Indeed, and no one here as yet has suggested otherwise.
No one has suggested anything that isn't optional. -
Good. The reason I add friends is to be friendly and make someone feel welcome. No other reason.
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I would prefer it if we could approve friends without just being automatically added. As it is I will only add friends where I've visited their blog and think it is a blog I will return to.
Otherwise I don't really see the point of adding hundreds of friends who aren't writing on subjects relevant to my interests. What value is to me being added as a friend by anyone who isn't really interested in my blogs?
Why do people feel the need to have hundreds or thousands of 'friends' added to their list? I don't do it on Facebook and I won't do it here.-
@myriadlife
I believe the motivation for adding so many friends is to "play the game" and gain benefit from doing so. I conclude this because the more freinds and favorites you have is a factor that affects blog ranking. -
Was just pondering that statement...
Now that may be a true thought... But wHat exactly does a Higher BC rank get you? And unless it is something worthwhile... and let's use traffic as an example... then the statement is ridiculous... -
Like I said two comments below in the final paragraph, I'm certainly no expert when it comes to social networking. However what I've been able to ascertain is that, in part, it's numbers game. The numbers of freinds you have and the numbers of blogs you favorite in social networks affects your ranking in that network.
[quote]Blog Rank - a special formula that analyzes your hits, views, comments, neighborhood members and other special secret ingredients to create a numeric score based on a 100 point scale. Your Blog Rank is primarily used to determine the order blogs appear in our Directory and Search Results. The higher your score the better your placement.
Views - The number of unique visitors that have looked at your BlogCatalog listing
Hits - The number of unique visitors that have clicked through to your blog from BlogCatalog.[/quote]
www.blogcatalog.com/help/
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Out of my 700 some-odd "friends" - I consider only 25-30 to be actual "friends". Case in point: I sent out a broadcast annoucing a new post to one of my blogs on Saturday that went to 597 "friends". According to my stats, as of an hour ago, only 5 "friends" have come from that broadcast to actually read the post.
And, I'm just as guilty for not responding to "friend's" broadcasts. Not that I'm not interested, I just get so many that I can't get to them all. If I were to scale back my "friends", I probably would have no more than 75. These "friends" have blogs that I get to at least once a month and then I play catch up with reading their posts. And, most of these visit me as well.
I don't know the solution. But, I realize something needs to done and, right now, I have to make the decission - should they stay or should they go. However, having the option upon onset may alleviate this over-abundance of "friends" in the future.
Maybe I just don't understand "Social Networking", but I was under the impression that having a "friend" and being a "friend" meant supporting one another's blogs. I post 7-9 times per week between my two blogs, I visit 10-12 blogs per day and I look for new blogs of interest to read. I just do not have the time to be a "friend" to the 700 some-odd that are currently on my list.
Am I on topic here?-
@madmadmargo
Yes, I do believe you are on topic. When it comes to broadcasts I have abandoned doing one for each post I publish. I assume those who subscribe to my blogs and BC members, who follow me on their dashboards are already well ware of these publication events. In the future my broadcasts will become periodic newsletters.
When it comes to "friends" I hear you. I have added far too many and will be pruning them down to a much smaller number, based on whether or not I actually read their blogs.
Originally, I decided that I should have an unlimited number of freinds and so I added members as friends whether or not we had related blogs, or whether or not I was interested in the subject matter in their blogs. I added some simply because I enjoyed their posts on the forum. I had over 200 blogs on my reading list and I went crazy trying to read them all. I found I had neither the time nor the inclination to comment. I have now reduced them to about 100 and I will try to read about 10 each day on a rotational basis. I believe that will create more time for commenting.
I'm certainly no expert when it comes to social networking. However what I've been able to ascertain is that, in part, it's numbers game. The numbers of freinds you have and the numbers of blogs you favorite in social networks affects your ranking in that network. Therefore members add hundreds and thousands of "pseudo freinds" that they have no actual relationship with. Well, I'm no gamer and I don't blog for bucks so I'm going ahead with my changes. -
I, too, have abandoned broacasts for one of my blogs; however, I believe this was the first broadcast for the blog I began in January - I just wanted to make my "friend" aware of it existance. Granted, it was the weekend and traffic tends to slow; I just found it disappointing. Additionally, I find "Shameless Blog Promotion" equally disappointing.
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Regarding broadcasts, I'd actually ended turning them off because folks weren't just using it to highlight particular posts... it was every post. It was just getting too cumbersome.
Like you, I just don't have the kind of time to be the kind of "friend" that would require. -
@madmadmargo and thriftshopromantic
I guess that makes three of us then. -
I never look at broadcasts, either. They weren't used selectively, they were posted for every single thing that happened - it was like Twitter only less interesting.
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wow that sucks...
When I do a broadcast - I get three to four hundred BC members within a 24hr period...
(maybe you are doing something wrong?)
just sayin...
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TimeThief:
This is an excellent point, and perhaps there is a middle ground. Maybe this could be a flexible feature for BC. Imagine having the ability to choose how much control you wanted.
For example, you could have a personal setting that says "Allow All Friend Requests Automatically"... (as it is today). OR an alternate that says "Review All Friend Requests Before Approving"...O another alternative would be to have a hybrid solution that allows for Auto approving people whose blogs were in a specific set of categories AND Review for Approval ALL OTHERS....
This kind of flexible control is similar to what I am proposeing for a HORSE SHOW Magazine's website which will be a themed social networking site.
Bottom line is it puts YOU in firm control of how much or how little you have to interact with the system.-
I like that idea best.
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Yeah, that's the ticket.
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@MadScientist
I'm with you, Anok and MadMadMargo on this.
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I support this function as I find the friends added in this forum are often considered to be appendages where communication among friends are rather diminished comparing to other website communities.
This feature will greatly help me to get to the photography circle and friends I like to know -
@roentarre
I appreciate the fact that you took the time to comment and explain where you stand on this matter. Thanks.
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Yeah, I like CONTROL
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@myriadlife
LOL ... Thanks for your feedback.
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@timethief:
(1) playing the numbers game to increase ranking (the more friends and favorite blogs you acquire the more this elevates your ranking);
But if doesn't increase your blog traffic by any means, then what's the point?
(2) using your social media broadcast position (huge numbers of friends and followers) to create authority that was previously only derived from "a deeper endorsement of their work be it links, subscribers, or sharing of content."
Again, if all it does just giving you 'braggng' rights without really increasing your blog traffic, then what's the point?
I don't mind socializing with my fellow bloggers but I want to build my traffic up with a steady following.
Last time I checked, this wasn't Pokemon. (Gotta catch them all.)
Oh, timethief, do you know the Rani? (Dr. Who reference, ftw)-
@avideogameplayer
With regard to the numbers game when we search we tend to hit on the blogs on the first page rather than those deeper in. The blogs with the higher BC blog rank are listed at the top of the Directory pages and search results for any category or tag, and they do get more traffic than those on the second, third and fourth page.
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How about introduce... "last interact 12jan09" stats on top of avatar of their friend, so the current interaction avatar/friend goes infront and for the person who did not interact they are left behind day by day. So to stay infront, they must keep interact with each other.-
That's interesting. I don't know how feasible that is on the programming end - or whether or not it would invite spam.
But certainly a high activity rate (such as remaining at the top of the list) isn't a bad idea. -
@onemuslim
Is what you are describing like the system that's in place at Digg or ... ? -
ohh i see, I kinda like this idea.
Digg puts your friend whos most active on digg on top of your friends list
Muslims method puts your friend who interacts with YOU most actively on the top of your friends list.
This is actually a really cool concept, nice one muslim -
@codesucker
Thanks for the clarification. I thought that's what he meant but I wasn't sure. -
@codesucker
Have you seen this suggestion?
www.blogcatalog.com/discuss/entry/introduce-a-friend-by-approval-only-featu...
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(1)no
(3)friendship is a good thing...-
friendship is a great thing...assuming you actually speak to everyone you are 'friends' with.
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In this case, I will start adding friends.
Adding frens here is spammy to me
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