Discussions
Is complaining good or bad?
Posted by dialoguewithyou • 5/22/09 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: bloggers, living, workplace
Be it at workplace or amongst neighbours, any and everywhere in life we come across people and situations that are truely wrong from all point of views.
Some might be bullying,others unethical, still others racist and loads of categories that we can sometimes not be able to classify.
What do you do with such colleagues?
Do you complain or raise a voice against them? or
Do you wait and watch for things to get right on their own?
Does complaining ever do any good? Or
Does complaing always turns relations sour???
User Comments
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The answer is "it depends." The variables are so legion that there can never be a single answer to the question.
How you complain, who you complain to, how you phrase your complaint, how often you complain, how legitimate your previous complaints have been...entirely too many variables for a single answer to suffice. -
I think sometimes, it is important to never hold in aggression, be it of anger, dismay or even hurt or pain. Therefore, we have to be diplomatic about whatever situation we are faced with, look at the surroundings and mull over whether it is your position to speak out at that moment. Always remembering to think before we speak is the best option, and in that we don't find ourselves getting 'tongue before thought' and still have the time to calm ourselves, and remember that everyone has his or her opinion, and if you can respect that, you should be able to distinguish that your opinion also counts, so long as it is used in a controlled manner and in a controlled environment. Unfortunately some days, we may be so close to the situation, and emotionally unfit to recognise when we may just have to brush this matter off to the side. It is a difficult thing, but learning to control and figure out what we are feeling momentarily will definitely help strengthen a person in the maturity of making that decision. From past experience I have learned that blowing up about something showed to everyone that I was far too sensitive and even naive. These days, as each year passes, I have learned to assess the situation, whether it means I back off or not. Two questions one should ask before entering in on this situation is: Is it really worth my efforts being pulled into something like this? and will the person even listen - based on their personality? -
complaining has it's uses but if it becomes a hobby or a lifestyle then I'd say it's bad. -
There is an art to complaining (which I have mastered). If done correctly, you feel better and those around you are seriously amused and thus, feel better as well.
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interesting
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I just find it annoying! -
Personally, I'd rather say nothing than complain. But complaining provides a great deal of entertainment for many people. -
I try to complain in a very disciplined way and if you do, you can get amazing results. For instance, if i am mad at a company--say a resaurant--for bad service, rather than yell and scream while there I just write a very nice letter to the manager telling them that I had a bad experience and am reconsidering my loyalty to their brand. I almost always get a response, plus sometimes you get gift certificates too!-
good tip
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that's the best way
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If you are going to complain, you better back it up with ACTION! Otherwise you lose credibility.-
I back up everything! I'd have it no other way.
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It is always starts bad and ends good. -
Complaining is like a person sharing his/her stress to you.
Just keep quiet when that happens. -
BAD BAD BAD!
My roomate is a complainer. And it drives everyone around away, eventually. Very draining to the energy of others.
Most complainers don't take the necessary actions to fix whatever they're complaining about.
In my opinion, at least. -
Thanks everyone who have left their opinions so far
Let 'em keep coming friends, get into the discussion and share your views. -
complaining once and a while can really give you a relief -
Once I have been told by someone that complaining is a sin.
Unbelievable. -
Generally, complaining is just no good... BUT it sounds like you're talking specifically about complaining in the workplace about certain colleagues.
In this sort of scenario, I think if done tactfully, it can be a pretty good thing.
I'm pretty tight with my boss... and she and I have had a few "venting" sessions about some of my coworkers who just don't seem to get it - time and time again. I think some of these sessions have actually brought us closer together.
Or if it's something about the manner in which your peers are performing their tasks, you can bring this to your boss's attention as it may be a good "training opportunity". I would try to use that phrase if you can - that way it's less about you and more about the overall good of the team.
Finally, don't JUST complain. If there's something going on that you don't like, try to present ways in which the problem can be handled. How can this situation be made better? Do some brainstorming and try to bring some new ideas to the table. Everyone may be aware that there is an issue, but just complaining about it isn't going to do any good. Set yourself apart by coming up with ways to really SOLVE the problem!-
some excellent advise here:)
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If you are annoyed by a complainer, should you complain about him or her? -
From my own experience, the art of "constructive complaining" (better known as constructive, professional, level headed criticism, in my own words) can be used as an politically offensive weapon to silence my critics, superiors, detractors, political aggressors, unreasonable individuals and keep unwanted personal attacks at bay.
It is a "civilized weapon" that uses reason, ethics and morals to shape words to convince and constrain almost anyone in almost all kinds of socially volatile environments.-
thanks for sharing your views
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I hate when people complain. I mean don't people have anything better to do than complain. lol -
If it's a constructive complaint crafted out of sound communication and reason designed to effect change and persuade especially the powerful then it is good. If it is simply complaining out of a bad attitude because you feel like it then it is bad and hurts you as well.
Complaining always hurts you because if it focuses your mind on darkness, and it also costs others because it is stressful and focuses their mind on darkness, but sometimes it may help others or resolve the situation for yourself long-term. It's a cost, but what are you paying for? Scratching an itch that will hurt only worse, or building something around you that will last?-
Of course, if one has to be made, it must be genuinely constructive and beneficial to everyone.
Nobody likes their faults being pointed out, but if they become oblivious to the fact that their imperfections do affect others, action must be taken. Sometimes directly or indirectly, but definitely with a civil reasonable tone.
But ultimately, it is the lesser of two "evils", the damage that potentially can be done by alternate ways can spill over to others.
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Depends what you're complaining about.
Complaining about people complaining would probably be a perfect example of irritating, useless, bad complaining (as, of course would be complaining about people complaining about people complaining)...-
Unless of course you follow up with a good solid fist to the face, in which case it becomes instructive.
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Depends on the situation, whether it actually affects me, and a whole host of other things.
I've watched someone complain about another person's behaviour when the other person wasn't at all concerned. The complainer got nothing out of the action but more anger.
Stephen Covey mentions a situation where he complained to a fellow subway passenger whose kids were disturbing others. Turns out the man's wife had just died and they were on their way home from the hospital. Just shows you may not always understand the circumstances of a situation, and your complaint may not be justified.
Some people would shrivel up and die (metaphorically at least) if they didn't have a constant stream of things to complain about. But they're the ones who will never take any action. They just like the sound of their own opinions, and feeling negative all the time. -
definitely, its bad... its an worst feelings.
better to avoid. it leads to ego, angry..etc. it creates enemies.
-Sai-
Thanks everyone for sharing your views
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Complaining simply helps etch the negative feelings deeper into your conciousness. I think it is better to simply not say the negative thoughts outloud, becuase doing so becomes addictive and self-fulfilling. An example: Before going to work you say to your friend, "Grr! I absolutely hate my job. I just don't want to go." Surprisingly, even if you feel this way, if you don't let yourself voice it, you can usually move past the feeling. Once it is out in the air, however, you can generally count on a l-o-n-g, bad day.
So, in my opinion, if you're not going to actually do something about what situation is causing you to want to complain, you're really better off just staying silent about it. Put up or shut up, I guess.-
good tips
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"It is equally futile to complain of oneself as of the world in general." Caesar Pavese
Complaining is a waste of time.
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