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Is it customary?

Posted by MollyCrane • 7/10/07 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: molly crane

Dear fellow Bloggers,
Is it customary to harrass other bloggers simply because of the content of their blog? I've been harrassed by several one who feel as though I am a "fake" simply because I offered a "you decide for yourself" option on my blog. I've had many many visitors who read what I have to say, then come back to me and criticize me because they cannot distinguish rather or not I am REAL or not. Yes some may say, "you brought it on yourself", but come on guys, should a fellow blogger have to put up with and deal with this EVERY DAY?

So let me set the record straight.

My name is Molly Sheree Crane, 29 year old teacher working in Atlanta GA. I have a mother, one sister, a niece and a horde of loving students who strive to do their best. I am widowed, have been for the last four years. I am a writer of some fiction but mostly Non-fiction and biographies.

I do have feelings and I relay them to my readers and FRIENDS through my blog. Someone told me the things I write don't seem real.. WAY TO DRAMATIC.

I tell you, it is simply the way I write it. I record the highest moments of my day. Some days I don't have much happening and I still record something simple. I like to keep in touch, but all I've gotten is grief.

To all my supporters... I appreciate you very very much. I will continue to write down my events for those who njoy getting a peek into my life. But I will be very scarce on BC, since so many have a problem with me.

Best regards,
Molly

User Comments

7/10/07

pointlessbanter

If you are getting haters it is a sign of success... It means you are drawing attention. Don't listen to it, just ignore it and push on because there will be more down the line.

[reply]
1. 7/10/07
  
  clioandme
  
  Interesting point of view. Ignore the hate and see it as people clamoring for attention from someone whose opinion they apparently value. Congratulations Molly!
2. 7/19/07
  
  bloggingmix
  
  I agree. Once you've got some bloggers who criticize you, consider yourself becoming popular. Don't try to please everyone.
7/10/07

identikit

im with you. ignore them

[reply]
1. 7/10/07
  
  MollyCrane
  
  yeah you're right! But it still bugs me.
7/10/07

terencechang

Molly Sheree Crane:

Just be who you are. I got some of really nasty comments on my site and on my stumbled pages. I even got some black email telling me to "Fxxx off".

Like pointless said, you are getting attention which lead you to a greater success with one condition. If you can stand it, live with it and move on.

One of my post was thumbs down so many times, because some people disagree with me, but it creates even more traffic to my site. I am happy with it.

See how those success people be more success? Bill Gates, John Chow, etc. How many people hate them, but they still going strong.

Cheer up!

[reply]
1. 7/10/07
  
  clioandme
  
  Terence writes, "One of my post was thumbs down so many times, because some people disagree with me, but it creates even more traffic to my site. I am happy with it."
  
  Priceless.
7/10/07

PrettyLady

Molly it is not customary but cyber harassment has become something that many bloggers including myself have had to deal with. I'm sorry that you are being harassed. Please do not leave BC. You owe none of us an explanation and you know what is funny, I'm considering posting less here too. There is something really bothering me here at BC.

[reply]
1. 7/10/07
  
  clioandme
  
  Was Molly talking about harassment here or on her blog? I thought her blog, but maybe I misunderstood?
2. 7/10/07
  
  PrettyLady
  
  I'm not sure Mark.
7/10/07

m38967

Molly: Dont get discouraged, if i had some nasty comments on my blog, yes i would be upset and yes i would not like or appreciate it, but i wouldnt stop blogging, atleast i hope not. Maybe you're having an off day, we all have them, give it a day, and see how you feel about it tommorrow. Don't leave BC, we are not that bad. I dont know what was said to you or by whom, but it will be alright and that goes to you to pretty lady. Hope you guys cheer up!

[reply]
7/10/07

m38967

btw: i visited your blog the other day and you're a good writer, maybe your stuff is fiction and maybe it isnt, but it is YOUR choice, however you want to deliver it and it is YOUR blog, you do with it what you like.

[reply]
1. 7/10/07
  
  clioandme
  
  Exactly. It ain't a business where you have to assume the customer is always right.
7/10/07

sweat1951

Why do people find it necessary to be critical of others? If I don't like a blog I leave & don't go back. This is totally rude and uncivilized. A blog and what's on it is the blogger's business. I agree it's jealousy, Molly. Some people have nothing better to do. Your writing is the most enjoyable I've found. It's not your problem- it's theirs. Don't let them win.

[reply]
1. 7/10/07
  
  PrettyLady
  
  Sweat have you by any chance read my post Sex Sells? One blogger appalled at the topics that I blog about said "in regards to her recent posts, I’m appalled by the amount of sex she has on there. You find less sex on porn sites!” I have nothing pornographic on my blog, but have found some bloggers will be critical because it is good for the ratings. "Sigh"
2. 7/11/07
  
  ThriftShopRomantic
  
  It really does seem like some folks' in cyberspace haven't been taught the ol' "If ya don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all" rule.
  
  Take some deep breaths, Molly. Have a tea, coffee or other favorite beverage of your choice, and try to put it behind you. Obviously these are people who are trying to work out some problems of their own and need something or someone to fight.
  
  Don't give them the satisfaction. Just be yourself.
7/10/07

sweat1951

PL,
Looks like it was good for your ratings. Look at all those comments!I've never been on a porn site but I don't think yours is one. Think I should add some sex to my blog to get more traffic????

[reply]
7/10/07

PrettyLady

Maybe, sex was searched for 6187940 in Jan. Think my next blog post should be about sex.

Molly how about you hun? What are you going to blog about next?

[reply]
1. 7/10/07
  
  MollyCrane
  
  PL.. I will probably blog about how bad I want sex...hehehe You gave me an idea :o)
2. 7/10/07
  
  clioandme
  
  Ooh, then I hope your blog is preserving your anonymity. What about those kids at school? Their parents might be shocked to learn that their teacher is human.
3. 7/10/07
  
  PrettyLady
  
  Go for it Molly. I just blogged about sex myself. ;-) lol
7/10/07

jungl

Getting critique like that can be very hard to handle, but think about the positive stuff you get out from blogging

Really enjoy your writing style so please continue!

[reply]
7/10/07

awannabe

I guess if a person writes to be read, then they should be open to being critiqued. I have had my share of attacks as a fanfiction writer. It hurts, but it seems that the people who support you make up for the ones that don't. A little bit of praise makes us courageous and inspires us to continue on. I think you are an excellent writer, Molly. Don't let the naysayers hold you back. You have a gift.

[reply]
1. 7/10/07
  
  PrettyLady
  
  Amen to that.
7/10/07

vixious

Molly, I think you write from your heart and it's a beautiful thing. Don't let someone's cynicism destroy your voice.

[reply]
7/10/07

MollyCrane

Thanks all for the encouragement. That's what really counts... The supporters. Sometimes the negative folks try to destroy someone they do not even know. But it's the good people like you all who will build up, not tear down. THANKS!

[reply]
7/10/07

MollyCrane

Gasp! Stoneman

[reply]
7/10/07

Linc4Justice

Wait till you start getting death threats like I did. :-D

But you have a point, I mean honestly, all I want is a little love snuggly love (preferably from young single female readers) but instead they rake the coals over me. Oh the pain of it all. :~(

[reply]
1. 7/10/07
  
  MollyCrane
  
  Aww Lincoln! You're my buddy! Thanks for your great advice you've given me. Molly
2. 7/10/07
  
  Linc4Justice
  
  You're welcome! :*)
7/10/07

Carleenp

I say try not to worry about it. Heck, I'm not sure why people should care if what is written on your blog is real, fiction, or something in between. If anything, keeping people guessing makes it interesting. In the end though, I know that negativity can grind you down. Just do your best not to let it get to you and keep writing what you want to write.

[reply]
7/10/07

Nakalas

Molly,

Please don't get discouraged. I think you are a fantastic writer and I love your blog. I really appreciate how much you share with all of us. There are a lot of cynical people out in the world that are full of negatively. Please don't let them get you down. Just share what is in your heart and just remember that a lot of people are still going to appreciate the things that you write.

[reply]
7/10/07

zawadi

Haven't checked out your Blog yet, but I will.
If you are getting grief from readers, you are a good writer. Not all of us can do this lol... Keep doing what you do and always remember that "their opinions are like a**holes. Everybody has one" lol lol...
I hope to follow in your footsteps when it comes to this Topic lol

[reply]
7/10/07

revenuerobot

it's your blog write what you want... there is "Freedom of Speech"

[reply]
7/10/07

Enlight

Hey Molly, Keep in mind, what matters is what you think of your writings and yourself. It does not matter whatsoever what other people think.

Although what they say can have an impact. The trick is to transcend other people's opinions, it's easier said then done.

I write about hard hitting truth, which many just hate, or they just can't handle it and attack me personally. Although I do know that it has nothing to do with who I am. It has to do with them.

I am sure you have noticed that I attack religion and bring out the Idolatry that is involved. Many that have an attachment to a religion, come back with personal attacks. They can't attack my religion because I don't believe in any as being "the way". I am talking about religion itself.

What matters is that you are happy with what you write and who you are.

[reply]
7/10/07

shimniok

I haven't gotten criticism or hate email or whatever yet... but I wouldn't be surprised since my topic is controversial to some. I think I'd get upset too.

On the other hand, you know you. You know what's real. And you know whose opinions matter most to you. I guess it is impossible to go through life without rubbing someone the wrong way...

[reply]
7/10/07

willow

Eh.. I have nothing really new to add to this thread, consider me reflecting most of the views previously stated: you stake out your corner of the blogosphere and do with it what you will. There will always be people who have problems with what other people write, and there will always be people who are very rude and nasty when expressing their displeasure. But there are also others, perhaps not as vocal, but others who enjoy what you write, and look forward to reading what you have decided to share with the blogosphere. These are the ones who appreciate your contributions. To heck with the nasties!

~willow~

[reply]
7/11/07

BrownBaron

Don't waste your energy on those people. Just keep writing. We'll back you up.

[reply]
7/11/07

wandadog13

You go girl!

[reply]
7/11/07

wandadog13

(i meant go as in go get em, not as in leave)

[reply]
7/11/07

WebGyver

Molly,

For starters, I think you ought to read some of Mark Twain's books and especially pay attention to his opinion about literary critics. It's hilarious and mind-opening at the same time.

Next, I am not sure if you're referring to comments on your BLOG (which I would perceive as an idea exchange where people respond to your articles, whether they agree or disagree -- or offer some constructive responses) or people who a) go to read your BLOG, b) come back here to blogcatalog (or some similar forum) and c) flame and/or harass you about the things you write.

If it's the latter, then I would almost dare to surmise that such people a) have no life of their own, b) are poor writers themselves and c) have no backbones.

For what it's worth.

[reply]
7/11/07

Witchywife

I can never understand why somebody would leave a nasty or negative comment. If you don't like a blog... close the window, and don't go back...

I've never really had much negativity, I guess a recipe site is pretty tame... but once somebody said "janet is hungry and who the hell cares"

and another time I posted a recipe for "Pogo Stick Muffins" and an anonymous commenter said "I like Pogo Sticking Muffins"...

Anyway, I just laughed and moved on. Your blog is really good, Molly, I read it all the time.

Janet

[reply]
7/11/07

FemmedeBat

I've had nasty comments. One commenter even went to digg and created an account for the sole purpose of telling me to back off on a story. I had to laugh because she was too chicken to post the comment on my blog.

I've had some real nasty stuff.

If you are threatened, though, take it seriously.

Everyone: Please make sure that you don't give away too much information online that would enable someone to find where you live or work. (For me, everyone knows where I work because the blog is a work blog, but we're protected where I am.)

Ask yourself this - Do you truly care what they think? If so, why? What is it that causes you to care about what strangers think of you?

I know it's easier said than done. I generally have a thick skin, but if I get something nasty when I'm very tired or had a bad day or otherwise vulnerable, it can really get to me (temporarily). People forget that those with whom we connect online are real human beings with real emotions.

Hang in there. Nasty people aren't worth your emotional energy.

Laurie

[reply]
7/11/07

MadameX

Molly, you know that I am one who is not a fan of your "guessing game", but I would never have mentioned that had you not asked for feedback on your blog here, and (as I noted then) your writing has an authentic ring to it, whether it's fact or simply a fictionalized means of conveying those same kinds of experiences and emotions. It's hard to understand why someone would feel strongly enough about another person's blog to undertake the kind of campaign you're describing--we're always free to simply not read it, right? Someone who hates everything about your blog but can't stop coming back to tell you about it has a bigger problem than personal taste going on.

[reply]
7/11/07

Linc4Justice

To be honest, I was thinking about whether to frame my blog exactly the way Molly did, to keep the reader guessing as to whether it's true or fiction. I've always been more of a right brain/creative writer, so fiction certainly appeals to me.

But when I read Molly's blog, I realized it's hard to know how to respond in an appropriate manner, because you don't really know what's real or not. When I convey condolences over a tragedy, am I actually doing it for something that really happened, for example? This was something I had never considered until now.

I decided for now that real life is more interesting than fiction, just so long as you know how to weave a story out of it that can draw readers. :-) People who could make something as mundane as brushing your teeth seem interesting and engaging have a real gift, and it's good to see blogging offering away for them to show it.

[reply]
7/12/07

ghost

MOLLY I LOVE YOUR BLOG!!!!!

[reply]
7/12/07

Theresa111

Does anyone out here in cyberspace really need to know if the posts are real or fiction? I do not recall there being any set rules to blogging. Other than being respectable to others it it a place whereby we can be free to write whatever we choose.

Molly you are a very good writer and along with everyone else that is in agreement, please be as much in the spotlight as you want to be. We'll be here for you. Keep writing. I think your blog is worthwhile, touching and pretty great.

[reply]
7/12/07

sweat1951

I'm with Theresa.

[reply]
7/12/07

Linc4Justice

Hypothetically, I would like to know whether an article is real or fiction if it involves a story about a very tragic event. I'd rather not convey my deepest condolences to a fictional character if I can help it. :*)

[reply]
7/12/07

PaulLev

I either ignore or enjoy all critics - not only of my blog, but my novels, non-fiction books, TV and radio appearances, etc ...

I ignore them, because, I write and talk to please myself and whoever might enjoy what I say ... if someone doesn't like it, too bad...

I sometimes enjoy critics, though, because they're fun to make fun of...

So don't let 'em get to you, Molly.

[reply]
7/15/07

sweat1951

Does anybody know what happened to Molly? Her blog is gone & she's not listed in BC or elsewhere. That was one blog I read every day & really enjoyed.

[reply]
1. 7/15/07
  
  Boba
  
  Dont know, hope she didnt do the d thing
2. 7/15/07
  
  MadameX
  
  According to her profile, she was "last seen" around here four days ago. That wouldn't seem like such a long time mid-summer if her blog weren't AWOL. Sweat, do you know how long it's been gone? And do you have her email address?
3. 7/15/07
  
  Boba
  
  She was up on Saturday I believe
7/16/07

sweat1951

MadameX,
I checked her blog this morning and it was there although there had been no new post in 4 days. I did send her an email but don't know if she will respond.

[reply]
7/17/07

Linc4Justice

Whoa, I thought she was just busy?? I subscribe to her blog via my feed reader, so I had no idea it had disappeared. :-O

[reply]
7/18/07

Theresa111

So she's not with me, 'cause someone was over at my site looking to see if she was there or If I knew her whereabouts. This is not cool. She said she was being harrassed and then there was that new guy and the girlfriend who turned out to be not such a good friend. And now no one knows where she is? S*it!

Someone needs to call her Ahem…BlogCatalog Admin. Please call Molly @ home, to make sure she is all right. If she doesn't want to write or converse that is fine. We just want someone to verify, if possible that she is doing well. Thanks!

Any "I Second That Motion" out there? This is a petition to make sure Molly Crane is Okay.

[reply]
1. 7/18/07
  
  MadameX
  
  I'm very conflicted about what to think. On one hand, I'm concerned about her, but on the other...well, she went to a lot of trouble to create a mystery from the beginning, didn't she?
2. 7/18/07
  
  MadameX
  
  One other thought--despite the community atmosphere, BC is a business and collects people's personal information for business purposes. They're probably really not free to use that information this way...from a factual perspective all that's happened is that a user stopped using their services. I'm not saying there isn't reason to be concerned, but there are professional (and legal) boundaries.
3. 7/19/07
  
  PrettyLady
  
  I have Molly's email address as she visited my blog. I just sent her an email. I will let you know if she replies.
4. 7/19/07
  
  PrettyLady
  
  MadamX they could email her though.
7/18/07

oiloffmar

Molly, your blog is not longer listed. What's happening?

By the way, keep up your work, why even bother considering your detractors?

[reply]
7/18/07

Theresa111

Perhaps BlogCatalog Administrators could at least let us know she decided not to post here arymore. This way we would know she is well.

[reply]
1. 7/18/07
  
  clioandme
  
  But that would presuppose they knew anything about her motives. But hey, her profile is still up, and she's still on Technorati and MyBlogLog. Well, it is summer after all. I can easily let an entire week slip by without a post.
  
  Oops. Her blog is gone too. Well, she's a teacher. Maybe her cover was blown and she had to take it down. That happened to another blog I read, but then the author resurfaced the next week at a different address using his real name. His topic wasn't personal, so he could get away with that.
7/18/07

clioandme

By the way, could someone please explain what she meant by "so many have a problem with me"? I never noticed it on the forums.

[reply]
1. 7/18/07
  
  Theresa111
  
  Perhaps someone was leaving comments on her web log site that made her feel uncomfortable. Should this be true then it is too bad.
  
  Having tossed this situation about for the past 24 hours, I have come to the conclusion that Molly decided to have done with it and go elsewhere. It is unlikely, in my mind anyway, that her web sites would be gone. It seems as if she shut them down herself. I got worried at first. In fact, a little alarmed, but now I do not suspect foul play.
  
  I will say this however, that Molly is a gifted storyteller and a personality I shall sorely miss. Molly Crane I bid you farewell and wish only the best for you.
  
  Sincerely, "Sleeping Kitten - Dancing Dog!"
7/18/07

clioandme

Sheesh, even her SEO tips blog is gone, and her user profile at blogger (or at least it's not available to the public).

[reply]
7/18/07

ThriftShopRomantic

That is concerning.-- I hope she's okay. She was always really nice to me on the forums.

[reply]
1. 7/18/07
  
  Theresa111
  
  Yes. she was nice to me too.
7/19/07

PrettyLady

I had noticed she was away from the forum, but I had not noticed her blog was gone. I just emailed her. I know she last logged in to Mybloglog on Jul 9th. I hope that she is ok?

[reply]
7/19/07

quincyjohn

Maybe they were only insecure with the way you write.

Screw them!

[reply]
7/19/07

bloggingmix

Hi Molly,
When you've decided to create a blog, I hope you're aware of the consequences. Once of which is to be ridiculed. I myself had my dozes of negative criticisms but I kept cool. Instead of making these negative criticisms affect your blogging, use it as a way to improve.

To answer you question, Yes, I think its customary for a blogger to be harrassed. But being harrassed is not at all bad... it could be an indication that you've got a lot of readers... or you're getting popular. If however you've being harrassed on a consitent daily basis, I guess you'd better evaluate your blog.

Cheers.

[reply]
7/19/07

ichaduma

it's called cyberbullying, right?

[reply]
7/19/07

Theresa111

blloggingmix…

The definition of harass is this: 1. to worry or torment 2. to trouble by constant raids or attacks. harassment. ****It is derived from the word harer - meaning; to set a dog on.

Harassment is not okay in any form. It is not an accepatble behavior. Please do not accept it, nor encourage anyone else to. It's like saying someone was asking for it by the way they dressed or acted.

[reply]
1. 7/19/07
  
  PrettyLady
  
  I agree. Well said!
7/19/07

clioandme

We really don't know if she left because of the things she intimated here. It could be any number of reasons, and she chose not to share them. That said, besides supporting her here earlier, I added my well wishes to her profile page, in case she ever takes a peek at it. Many others had already done the same thing. And she stays on my BC friends list, as long as she has a profile here. Small gestures that respect her privacy.

[reply]
7/20/07

Phattitudes

My opinion? Does it matter whether you are fake or not? I mean seriously, you are writing it. And if you aren't writing it, then at least you are here promoting it... at any rate, you are not a robot and therefore real. Maybe the blog is, maybe it isn't. But go to bed with the knowledge that you have people up in arms over it. And like pb said, isn't that the sign of success?

[reply]
7/20/07

sweat1951

Molly & I had emailed several times before her blog disappeared but she has not replied to recent emails. Her last post, I believe, was the one where she mentioned that her name is Molly & she talked about her family. Maybe she'll come back under another name. I have never been quite so affected by a blog as I was hers.

[reply]
1. 7/20/07
  
  PrettyLady
  
  I too contacted her by email and have not heard anything. Well I just hope that she is ok. She was a nice lady.