Discussions
Is Marriage really that bad ??
Posted by bladeaxe4 • 12/27/08 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: Havoc, heaven, life, marriage, MEN, women
After reading through the thread "How Many Husbands Do You Want?" ( www.blogcatalog.com/discuss/entry/how-many-husbands-do-you-want ) it is quite surprising to see many women to be just hating the concept of marriage, so what is the reason behind it ???
Any shortage from the side of women or from side of men or just both of them ?? PUT UR THOUGHTS ACROSS !!
for me, i had love even the one who'll hate me to core... there is an old post in an abandoned Yahoo 360 page of mine (with pics specifically made on purpose to include in post )
blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-NMfjZIwjeqJn4lmam.B6HCZ8Ixy13.8-?cq=1&p=181
User Comments
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is it really ?
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For some, yes. -
any reasons which stand at an individual level ????
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It's just ... not for everyone. For many, many reasons.
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so r u single/divorced ??
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That's irrelevant. Margo's comment below is a good answer of how marriage can be good.
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Friday13 will make a good husband one day. Right now, focus on college! Once you've graduated and have get a job, weekends should be free (no more studying!)and you can get a social life.
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The truth is out. Most women in that discussion like the idea of marriage
but making it work and making it a reality is harder than it looks.
When either party no longer wants to put the effort into making it a reality it's pretty much over.-
well, im way too committed to just let the thing work out of every good and bad situations... so why would reality be different for them and for me ??? is that they dont give it a real go from themselves to have things the best way they can offer !!!
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@bladeaxe4...I think many have given it a fair honest try.
However in the Bible it does say "for it is better for a man to be single,
a woman who is single is ruled by God and a woman who is married is ruled by her Husband"....I chose what was behind door #1...ruled by God. Thank you
This whole tale goes on with Paul in Corinthians
An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord.
But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— and his interests are divided.
An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs:
Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit.
But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband.” NIV) Those verses set out the two main options: be single.
Singleness and self control seems to be a central theme here.
www.toongabbieanglican.org.au/bibletalks/snc/being-single/ -
@Jeunelle a married man just went up to be at the top of existence by grace of god ( citing existing entity, just not typing it for sake of making a point) . So after all, grace of god is a bigger science....
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@bladeaxe4...Who says it wasn't?
And who says I need to make a point?
I already make my decision no matter who has a problem with it.
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It's not if both parties remember why they got married in the first place. Honesty, loyalty, trust, tolerance, understanding, inspiration and love.-
ummm , sounds pretty much coherent in revealed state !!!
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Jeunelle made an excellent point: "...making it work and making it a reality is harder than it looks."
During my lifetime there have been a variety of unrealistic ideals of marriage that were popular: from the 'my wife will fix me cocktails every night' fantasy; to the groovy 'we'll hang out until the going gets hairy;' and the 'he'll be sensitive, kind, understanding, gentle, intuitive, and very much in touch with his feminine side.'
I outlined my value system's view of marriage in a post about the terrible killings in Covina ( catholiccitizenamerica.blogspot.com/2008/12/psycho-santas-slaying-spree-cat... ).
Any close relationship that's going to last more that a few days will take work: lots of it.
But worth it? I think, yes. -
Some years back I read that more than 80% of divorces in America were initiated by the wives. When you consider that at least half of American wives are employed outside the home on a full time basis but their husbands contribute less than an hour a day to the tending of their children and home, the dissatisfaction so many women feel about marriage is easily understood.
My husband does virtually no housework and I am fine with that. But I do not work outside the home, we have no children, and I have a maid twice a week. If he continued to do nothing around the house and I had a job, children, and no maid, we would be headed for divorce court if he didn't shoulder his share of the household burden.-
I remember reading this a couple years ago... that women are MUCH more likely to initiate divorce... and I think it speaks VOLUMES in Favor of the independence and intelligence of modern women.
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double post
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understanding and cooperation of wife and husband both can bring the ratio/ percentage of divorce down.
and patience is also needy at the same time, so the problem of divorce will end someday.-
Yes when we become single and fill the eye with light.
"For if the eye be single, then the whole body is filled with light".
Luke 11 34-35
www.watchman.org/na/jesusna.htm
oaks.nvg.org/eg3ra4.html
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Mine was..........really that bad. But, I have to say I guess I was equally at fault for being a bad judge of character!
I never want to repeat the mistake so now I am happily in a loving relationship. Marriage scares the hell out of me!-
"I was equally at fault for being a bad judge of character"
i guess i could say this about me as well. i honestly don't believe i will ever marry again and many days i wish i never had to begin with. i used to think it was okay, but once i took the rose colored glasses off and looked back, i see that much of it was very wrong. i wont do it again. -
A momentary lapse in judgement.
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Indeed
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The face of hell....classic
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I love being married. I have been married for 27 years! We have had our good times and our really bad times. But when you make a committment to someone it doesn't mean it is going to be easy all the time. Sometimes it takes everything you got to stay and work things out when it gets bad but it is always worth it later...
But if this relationship was physically abusive I would be gone in a flash.. There is no excuses for physical abuse ever! -
depends on who you married -
nah i dont think itd that bad.. im not marired tho haha.. but i think people make it seem worse then it really is. just to make fun of asll the sterotpyes haha ya know. lol. but yeah i dont think its bad.-
@Bayho...I think people make it seem worse then it really is.
Please tell that to the thousands of women who are murdered by their husbands in the world today. I would say that something is deadly wrong and some do make it worse than it really is.
Husbands who murder their wives and unborn child is growing in record numbers worldwide.
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Nothing in our relationship changed when we got married, actually. That's how I knew it was a good decision. We're both just as happy as we were before. -
For me the twist was different because I wasn't living as a woman most of the time then. I requested the divorce because my spouse had been estranged by a minister and had withdrawn from me for several years already. People had been advising me to divorce for years up till that time.
What made it particularly bitter was the realization that she had used me for a jail break. She wanted to get away from her family. Then after some years, I was the villain and she could say nothing but good about her family. All the while, she and her family swayed the daughter against me. She's an adult now. She still does not speak peaceably to me, even after the death of my spouse.
Could marriage work in my case? I rather doubt it. It takes a special person to handle an intersexed individual in a marriage. And since I did transition from a male to a female role, seeing that life as a male was clearly failing and transition was necessary for survival, the only marriage that would be legally accepted would be a lesbian one (following the precedent of Littleton vs. Prague). That's difficult for me to accept because after the last marriage, I'm not inclined to trust another woman on that level.
What that leaves me with is either a domestic partnership or a common law union.
And since I have this much fluidity with respect to sex and gender roles, I have come to be more fluid with arrangements as well as expectations. And because I tolerated my wife's affairs, I learned to be a lot more open to multiple arrangements of commitment. -
I quite honestly enjoy being married. Sometimes my husband doesn't do things the way I want him to, but I don't do things the way he would want me to either. That's nothing to cry about, we're still individuals even though we share a life. My philosophy is; sit back, relax and see where it takes us...
I don't understand where all this "work to make it work" comes from... Apparently you're supposed to work from day one or things go sour. I haven't worked one little bit to keep this marriage going, but it's only getting better. I've got a friend by my side the whole time, and if doing nice things for him counts as work, I must be in the wrong line of business!
What does require work, in my opinion, is finding the right person. That can be gruelling work! It may take you some years, but after finding the right person, the rest comes fairly effortlessly I think. -
This side of glory... YES! -
You can find the right person at the time but people also change and their needs change with them over the years and they may no longer want to be married too. So yes it's work all around.
I am not against marriage, just the silly people who marry for silly reasons. -
I love being married than being single. It's because I have someone who loves me much, accepts me and is always there for me. The troubles that come with marriage are inevitable but it's up to the couple to go through it out, willing to sacrifice each other's selfishness and pride. It's the troubles that test the couple to draw on each other. I don't need to "work to make my marriage work" because afterall I found the right man to be married with. But I believe a good marriage is a blessing from God.
Each day that we're married , it keeps us to hold on to our marriage knowing that each of us has strengths and weaknesses that complement each other.
Sebastyne is right--what is work---is finding the right person. And after finding him/her , it becomes effortless. -
I love being married but I notice people like my mom that got to a older certain age and then went absolutely insane, making my dad's life miserable. I know my father isnt the only one in that hell and I pray that never happens to me. Marriage seems so simple to me: just do what the other person likes to do. If both people accept that simple task, then everything should be cool. -
This coming June will be our 25th anniversary. Thank you, very much! I think both partners need to have the same expectations and agree on the definition of marriage. There are many different ideas on what each partner should do or be responsible for. As long as both parties are in agreement then there is a good chance for happiness and success. The old-fashioned husband/wife stereotypes from the 1960's and before got torn down in the 1970's when ladies started divorcing out of bad marriages and becoming independant. Time makes a marriage an evolving creature that must constantly redefine itself. Partners in a marriage need to be in touch with the ever-changing parameters of life and adjust their expectations, responsibilities and goals. In other words, they need to "regroup" now and then.
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My first marriage was living hell. He could tell the sky was purple and I'd believe him.
My marriage now, is awesome. We speak each others thoughts, we don't fight and I really do mean that. We can sit in the same room all day and not say but 2 words to each other and it's ok. We enjoy being together all the time. We talk about our goals in life, we work on things together and have fun. We like the same things, well almost...He doesn't like to scrap book...lol.. but we like to go Hiking,Travel and spend time with our dogs.
We have what most people only wish or dream about. Communication is a big factor in a relationship. With out Communication you have no Relation.
I'm so glad he answered my Love@AOL ad that day when he did...=) -
"Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open. "
G.Bernard Shaw-
I think Shaw wrote that before his wife went into menopause and started getting hot flashes!
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Hahaha
He's my kind of man anyway
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Living together in the same household, raising the kids etc...it needs to be run like a business: everyone has to know what their responsibilities are, everyone has to be respectful of their "coworkers," there should be short term and long term goals and a plan to get there. If you are not a team player, you probably aren't going to be a very good husband or wife.
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I loved being married, unfortunately we were young and my husband didn't.
My parents have been married over sixty years now and I admire their ability to put each other ahead of themselves and to go through the good and the bad as a team, together.-
Yeah, team! (shaking my pompoms for your parents!!!)
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You mean like that??
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No! It's wonderful! I love being married--but I am married to the world's greatest guy (and he, of course, is married to the world's greatest gal!).-
Congradulations !!
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It REALLY sucks!
They bitch and complain, nag and tray and change you into what they think you should be. -
Ummm...I think it depends on who you're married to.... -
We go through so many stages in our lives and being married is a complexification, no doubt about it. But as you get older you begin to appreciate having a partner to be there with you and for you. So IMHO, married or unmarried, having a partner is better than not having a partner. -
It's only as bas as you choose to make it... -
Whoever finds thier marriage bad needs to make some changes... -
Marriage is hard work.
For some people, hard work = "sucks balls".
But that's really their problem. -
Marriage is not bad, though im not married and i dont wanna get married. I wrote about it in a recent post ladylyf.wordpress.com/2009/01/23/marriage-from-…-a-single-girl/ -
Marriage is the best! but to make it wonderful and happy, there's must be LOVE between you and your spouse. That's the secret.
I've married twice and divorced twice, so you can see I've learn something from them.
Cheers!
,·*’°§ aleare §°’*·, -
I think people will give comments depend on their experiences.
For those who are happy with their marriage, they will say marriage is great!. But for those who are unhappy with their marriage and even had bad experiences, they will hate it. -
I really need to Marry -
For me and my wife's his and hers blog and see for yourself...
The First 100 Days: A blogreality series
hisfirst100.blogspot.com
herfirst100.blogspot.com -
don't get married. get divorced.
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