Discussions
Is your sex life a bit boring?
Posted by CelebrityIcePop • 4/27/09 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: boyfriend, Dating, exes, faking it, girlfriend, love, lust, marriage, positions, relationships
Most people in a relationship hit a dry patch at some point ('scuse the pun 
)
The sex becomes routine and samey samey.
I've updated my blog (which I let drift for a while) with some great new advice and tips on how to inject some passion back into your relationship.
girltalk-ladiesonly.blogspot.com/2009/04/how-to-be-so-great-in-bed-shes-one...
I'd love for people to pass by and comment with their stories, advice and tips.
Meanwhile,
Do you know how to tell if a woman is faking it?
User Comments
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I never understand how anyone could be fooled...isn't it...erm...obvious?-
Not if you're an award winning performance artist
*cough*
Not that I ever faked it of course. -
but...*tries to think of a delicate way to put it* don't certain things erm...pulsate in a way that you can see and feel? or do most people not notice that?
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Nope, it's flower smelling magical right now, thanks!-
aw glad to hear it
Maybe you can drop by my blog with some tips for my readers then
Meanwhile Siuil, women orgasm differently to each other (though not that differently) and there's the whole multiple orgasm and full body orgasm thing just to confuse the poor chaps even more.
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nope, people with boring sex lives simply lack imagination-
and toys
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Not true
There are many factors
They might be inhibited due to a strict upbringing and thinking sex is dirty
They may be naturally shy or not confident about their body
They may worry their partner won't like what they like
lots of reasons -
@ celebrityicepop- I was raised stict roman catholic and taught horrible things about sex, I also hate how child rearing has changed my body, and I have never had a boring sex life. If one wonders if there partner will not be into the same things that they are, then creative/imaginative compromise would be a great solution. If someone wants it badly enough, they can always come up with ways to get down
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If one wonders if there partner will not be into the same things that they are, then creative/imaginative compromise would be a great solution.
I agree. If you are bored with your sex life then communicate with your partner and make the changes required to rekindle the romance and excitement.
I recommend that both partners read David Deida's books and listen to the audios on his site
www.deida.info/books/way-superior-man.deida.info/
"Acknowledged as one of the most insightful and provocative spiritual teachers of our time, best-selling author David Deida continues to revolutionize the way that men and women grow spiritually and sexually. His teaching and writing on a radically practical spirituality for our time have been hailed as among the most original and authentic contributions to personal and spiritual growth currently available.
IMO the best one is: The Way of the Superior Man
www.deida.info/books/way-superior-man
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Communication is of course the key, but do you know how many couples don't dare talk to each other about sex?
I think some people are naturally better communicators and relaxed about their bodies and they can overcome difficulties more easily.
I myself was raised without physical contact pretty much so for me, holding hands at age 19 was pretty stressful.
It was 3 months before my first bf and I had sex but by then I'd educated myself with a good book and had warmed up a bit. It wasn't obvious I was a novice.
Though I confess I did ask the question all men dread
'Is it in yet?'
Anyway, my natural openess kicked in and all was well.
This was 20yrs ago and we women get hornier and more confident with age. It seems to me anyway. I wonder what I'll be like at 60!
Swinging from light shades with a dozen toyboys hanging off my toes perhaps?
Meanwhile, for some it's not so easy to overcome these issues. -
Oh good, I get to invoke Zizek and Freud.
As such, it's worth remembering that all sexual activity has an element of fantasy. Even in the most base and simple encounter, there is a imaginary element which informs the participants that the encounter is indeed "elemental". The act is never the act in and of itself; without an expression of imagination, it does not work.
If I may be mildly impertinent - perhaps what ails most couples is that they develop a deficit of this imaginative aspect to sex, thus it becomes repetitive, just "going through the motions". The question then becomes, not necessarily one of communication, but one of how to re-establish the fantasy element, even though partners know each other well.-
Exactly and that's why I think that David Deida's books (western teacher of tantra)are worthy reads.
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Boring? I'll give you boring. We schedule our sex!
(Let's see... Looks like tomorrow afternoon we'll be having sex, beginning with some oral sex, followed by traditional missionary position, and ending with energetic doggy style.) -
If it ever gets monotonous, I just switch hands -
At least they don't talk back -
"sss'ok?"
"S'awriiiiight!" -
if you use both hands that would make it a threesome .. you guys love that stuff dontcha?
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From what I've experienced of sex I think amoebas have the right idea.-
are you asexual or just bad experiences?
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No, just too much perspiration.
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hahahaha that's laziness in the extreme!
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What sex life?
If it was up to me I'd have one, but apparently reading books, greys anatomy and sleeping is a better option.-
Hmmm, didn't you say you were still only engaged?
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wow... red flag?
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Yes indeed - having a kid killed it, that and the fact that she is older and expecting an early menopause.
Oh the things we do for love. -
tru dat...
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Sam I'm sorry to hear that
@Agit8r, I haven't heard many people outside my group say red flag!! Cool to hear it used
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If you want to have a lasting sex life with the same person it requires you to open up boundaries that you thought you couldn’t.
It took us about 10 years before my wife and I actually opened up conversations that we thought we couldn’t have, not knowing how the other would react.
It comes down to trusting that person enough and drawing boundaries that you both can live by.
If you can accomplish this you can really keep the spark alive in your relationship, after 30 years I can attest to this LOL.
But be aware that some people just might resist completely, so approach the subject carefully and slowly. You might open up doors that you cant close! -
Loney, yes; boring; no.-
That's what all the yoga is about then?
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What is this "sex" of which you write?-
Otherwise known as a mummy/daddy "special hug", where daddy puts his hoo-hoo dilly into mummies cha-cha
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Great replies here, very funny!
I wish you'd post some of them on my blog for others to enjoy -
At the moment it is boring as I am single. However in a relationship I can't imagine staying happy with somebody if it is boring.
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I hear the "doggy style" is quite common nowdays.
Thats where the man begs and the woman rolls over and plays dead-
heh
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bwahahaha
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Heh, heh.. I haven't heard that one. That's my new joke of the day. :-)
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I'm waiting to be allowed a conjugal visit, and then I'll report back!-
I think you and Scott never have to worry about that !
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um I would say that having a teddy bear for an avatar says it all!
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Yes I love my stuffed animals too and I do enjoy rolling over on them in bed and having a go with them. Sometimes you can put them between your thighs like Suzanne Somers thighmaster and flatten their faces.
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I will never look at a tickle me elmo in the same way ever again
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Pillow Sex
www.youtube.com/watch?v=am43GtFDdQ4
Elmo
www.youtube.com/watch?v=o4x-VW_rCSE
Can't tell ya what I really do with them this is a family site -
Hey its not fair to leave us hanging here like that haha
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OH SURE, and my Shamwow "Fifi" comment was not worth responding to... O_o
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hehehe yes I am bad...very very bad
Shame on me -
I'll have to just let my imagination run wild then and hope that it doesn't get too carried away
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Yup that's the safe way to go.
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Not necessarily "safe" for my mental well being though. I'll just go and take out my frustrations on my blog as per usual
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"Elmo's not ticklish there!"
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My wife is 60 and I am 59 and our sex life is nothing close to being boring. I would bet that I have more of a sex life than most 20 year olds. The reason I focus on pleasing her and she focuses on pleasing me. Although we some form of sexual contact three times a week it is variety and quality not quanity that counts.
Advice for the guys:
1. Doing dishes is a form of foreplay
2. Talk first then act
3. Intimacy is not sex but it does usually lead to sex -
Ummm I don't remember!!!
Someone does though - you have to rea my latest post - so relevant = poor lady! angelalovell.blogspot.com/2009/04/no-sex-please-were-british.html-
Ha, very funny post
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my sex life??? hahahaha I'm a virgin @ 25 Gosh! and yeah read angela's latest post. and don't forget to read her lonely condom hahahahahaha-
Thanks
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it was, a while ago. :)) then things got spicy again when we went by without having sex for a month. -
I have no sex life...lol...-
LOL, very cool indeed just like a robot.
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For me and my wife, it's a long dry spell because I'm currently deployed, but once I get back in the US here in a couple of weeks, you bet we're going to play catch up. For us this has never been a problem because we're both in tune with our "inner freak", so to speak. We have overactive sexdrives around each other and it's mainly because we put each other first, rather than take the selfish route to things. (Now, I'm going to have to post an entry on my blog. See what you've all done!?)
I find that one thing that is important in keeping the spice in the bedroom, is that both have to communicate a lot and always, and I do mean always, ensure that the other feels appreciated in the way they want to be appreciated. I feel appreciated when my wife does things for me, but not if she just says it. Actions to me are more important. On the converse, if I go a day without letting her know in some form that she's appreciated, she'll think something is wrong. You have to speak the other person's dialect, then you're well on the way to bigger and better things. Sorry for the long post! -
You never know when a woman is faking it unless you know she's going overboard in her theatrics. That's obviously a woman you don't want anyway, because she isn't honest enough to tell the man to step up his game. Then again, if you're doing it right to begin with by finding out what gets her off, you won't have to worry about that.
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I have 4 boyfriends, all named BOB. -
I don't have a sex life...I'd like to have one though...
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Mine is boring and has been boring for a while, mostly because my GF doesn't like to do anything besides the one obvious thing. I wish she would try new stuff but she just refuses.
TBH it's a bit hard to control myself sometimes. Sometimes I wished I could just try stuff with someone else :(. -
I'm one of those people who can't mate with one person for my entire life.
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I don't think you're alone in that regard!
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Sex life? I don't have one. I am a proud virgin.
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