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Just Did My First Review of A Soccer Match
Posted by Sicarii • 8/11/07 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: match review, soccer
I just did my first review of a soccer match (Aston Villa vs Liverpool) at my new blog focusing on the new Premier League season and Liverpool Football Club.
As a rather new writer, I'd love comments from you if you'd be so kind to read it and give me comments. And a digg or stumbleupon will be nice too if you like it.
The review's here: www.lfcseason.com/2007/08/12/match-report-aston-villa-1-liverpool-2/
User Comments
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As a recovering English teacher, I'm interested, and a little wary, when a self-described "rather new writer."
I read it, stumbled it (I seem to be the first one: something of an honor), and made running notes. Here they are.
Before I start though, four words - that was good writing. I'll elaborate at the end.
Beware long sentences, like
"It was Kuyt’s “I am not going to let the ball go out of play” mentality that saw him hit the ball back into the six-yard box and into the path of Villa player Laursen who duly helped Liverpool’s cause by bundling the ball past his goalkeeper and into his own net."
and
"Though we did well, what I am wary of is the fact that our defense looked ragged at best at times, and if Villa’s finishing was just a tad better we would have once again lost the opening match in an away fixture much like the previous season."
I'm not sure if "There was no killer instinct in wanting to kill the game off" is having fun with English - or being painfully punny. That's probably a creative call on your part.
(Being playful with our language, particularly in some news, is becoming more common here in America - and about time, after the drearily buttoned-down style of the last few decades.)
If this is your first review of a soccer match, and you're a new writer, you're doing well. I'd say that you have a good feel for language.
What I noticed first was that you write in (and, presumably, speak) British English. "Spot on" is a phrase I use, and understand, but that's because I've read quite a few British authors. That's great, particularly since you're writing in, and about, a particularly British phenomenon.
The second thing I noticed was an exclamation mark where I wouldn't have put one, "It looks like theirs could potentially be a lethal combination as the season progresses!" - That may be you style of writing, and if so, fine. I wouldn't have put an exclamation mark there, because the statement was rather strong to begin with. Again, personal taste/style.
The biggest (and only significant) issue I have with this sample of your writing is sentence length. I picked out two examples. They're well-written, and grammatically correct, but very long - particularly for a piece about an action-packed sport such as soccer.
A guide I use is to 'speak' what I write, when sentences start accumulating clauses. If I'd have to take a breath part-way through a sentence, it's probably too long. That's not a hard and fast rule for me, or anyone else: just a tool to evaluate what I write.
Back to your review: Good stuff. Quite good.
Please: Keep writing, refining your technique, and developing a style or style of your own.-
Thank you very much for your comments. I am very pleased that someone actually took time to read it, much less give me such good pointers.
Over here (Singapore) we're supposed to write and speak British English since we were a British colony. However, most of us also speak and write American English quite often especially for business.
I therefore tend to stick with writing in the style that fits the content.
Will work on shortening the sentences in my next post.
Once again, thank you for being so kind and making my day.
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Oops. I didn't look past the Aston Villa vs Liverpool reference.
Of course, Singapore: a very cosmopolitan nation/city. You would have a command of both American and British English.
And, you're quite welcome. My pleasure, in fact.-
It's not necessarily a good thing to have command of English from both sides of the Atlantic though. Makes some of us rather confused when it comes to spelling, lol!
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Urggh why not Everton! Its football not soccer!
Can you guess i am English and support Everton?-
Hm... I think I can, lol!
I called it soccer since it's more commonly used here, as opposed to football which people still associate with American football for some reason.
It was a good win for Everton too, beating Wigan 2-1 at home.
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Lol, yes your right everyone does associate soccer with football.
It will be interesting to see how you comment on the merseyside derby match, as in when Everton play Liverpool.
I am not very knowledgeable when it comes to footie, but i do have a fantasy football team with Kuyt in it -
I'd probably be nice and gentle, I guess, lol!
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Football, as a passionate fan for over 30 years I would love to see it called football, you will get a lot of scousers saying the same.
For your songs my brother would say 'el-eye-ve-ee-are-pee-double o-el Liverpool FC' -
I am not a scouser by the way
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Didn't think you were, besides I have never seen you nick anyhting so you can't be
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Uh Oh! not scouser bashing!
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Me no, did I mention that Anfield was nicked
Once saw a scouser with a brick in his hand, I asked him what it was for, he said a deposit for a colour telly.
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You havent said what footie team you support?
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cough*Leeds*cough
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HA!
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hey carpet, no laughing - that's my team too!
great last minute winner today....now we have -12 points right crkian? -
Hey i get loads of stick for supporting the Toffees
I hope the result today was the start of a great season. -
-12 is right, its shit that we have to win 5 games to even get to 0 points, plus the 70 to get us promoted
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Methinks we are going way off-topic here, shhh! here comes the admin!
LOL! -
lol, we are still on the football topic
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Alright, I guess we should be ok then.
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Sicarii you turned football commentator? Hahahaha!-
Another one of my loves, mate.
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Sicarii,
I had meaning to ask you and the chap from Poland who is blogging about football as well, about putting together a fantasy football group, perhaps with as many people from Blog Catalog as possible.
www.premierleague.com/page/Home/0,,12306,00.html
I thought there was still or so to go. It would be difficult to catch up to other players having lost a week, but at least everyone from here would be at the same starting level.
What do you say? -
Sounds like a good idea, let me check it out after this evening's live matches!
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OK, I took the initiative. The league is called "Blog Catalog"
The code to join is 1049917-158507
I loaded my team with players from today's matches thinking I would still get points from them. Alas, week 1 is already closed (makes sense) but join up in time for week 2.
Very easy to sign up.
You get 100 million pounds to make your team. -
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What's better about it? -
Ive used it for leagues for a few years and is very well done
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A great idea. I have just joined the league. I've already got 14 points from yesterday's games as I have signed up for Fantasy premier League earlier on. It's gonna be good fun. I hope more people from Blog Catalog will join us. I think Crpitt said she had a fantasy football team, right? And to everyone who hasn't got a team it's like 5 minutes to get going.
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alanzPL,
That's great that you joined!
I'm kicking myself for not getting in in time for week 1. -
One thing I was thinking about for those people considering signing up.
Even though it's too late for week 1, if you sign up now, the players you pick may increase in value as a result of this week's matches. -
I am in the telegraph squad one which you pay for but i have joined this one as well
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Arsenal 2 - Fulham 1
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It's half time in the game Chelsea:Birmingham and the score is 2:2!!
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