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Letting kids do illegal things at home

Posted by calais50 • 1 year ago • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS]
Topics: illegal

Some people take the view, "I'd rather my kids do these things (smoking, drinking, drugs)at home where i can monitor them" I do not agree with this. What do you think?

Take a look at this article:

HERE'S OUR "MOTHER OF THE DAY"

It's time now to hand out our "Mother of the Day" award.

Today's award goes to 43-year-old Terry Holt of Gosport, England. Terry has a 13-year-old daughter named Sam . . . and you won't believe what she lets her daughter get away with.

According to Terry, "I don't see the point in punishing [Sam]. If I ground her, I'm just punishing myself because I have to put up with her in the house. Instead, I reward her good behavior by giving her cigarettes. If she's bad, she goes without.

"There are a lot worse things she could be doing [than smoking]. We've all got to die sometime. I haven't gotten cancer from smoking so she'll probably be all right".

Now, I know what you're thinking . . . this is pretty shocking, right? Well, it gets worse . . .

Terry says she knows her daughter drinks, but she isn't worried because, "[Sam] only drinks a couple cans [of beer] a night." And Sam smokes a joint every now and then, but that's OK with Terry because, "I don't think she's tried anything harder."

And get this . . . Sam lost her virginity when she was just 12 . . . and overall, she's already had relations with FOUR boys. But Terry didn't punish her because, "it wasn't a one-night stand. She had been dating the guy for a couple weeks." (Daily Mail)

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User Comments

10/22/08

may66krm

The mother should be arrested. This kid is beyond help, I fear, but the mother doesn't deserve to have kids. What an idiot. The kid has never had a childhood. Very sad. The mother should be horsewhipped, and be made to attend parenting classes till she can have the kid back.

[reply]
1. 10/22/08
  
  calais50
  
  Definitely. Very sad indeed. I know a guy who got into harder drugs as a teen. He said, "I wish mom hadn't let me smoke joints and get drunk at home." I know his mom, and she does not seem like a negligent mom. She probably thought she was doing the right thing, but she ended up making her son feel like she didn't love him as much. Children feel loved when parents set limits.
10/22/08

CreativeJunkie

Please tell me this is some kind of joke? That whoever authored that article just made it up to create some controversy?

Because I simply cannot wrap my head around this mother's mindset. My brain doesn't even go there.

[reply]
1. 10/22/08
  
  dosyrosie
  
  We have to acknowledge the quality of the paper the article was in *cough*
10/22/08

kdawg68

that's horrible. There's a difference between say, letting your teenager have a glass of wine during Thanksgiving dinner and allowing them to chain smoke and refusing to punish them. Oh these "Springer" parents irritate me. "I can't control my kids..they do what they want...it's too much trouble" - good, then we should eliminate and castrate. Why put the rest of us through the trouble of dealing with them for eternity?

[reply]
1. 10/22/08
  
  calais50
  
  Good point. They'll do an update next year and she will be a pregnant crackhead.
10/22/08

Shiley

When I was a kid one of my friends parents was like this. All of her kids rubbed snuff YUCK!, drank beer, and smoked. Oh, let's not forget drying weed out in the microwave. I tasted the beer reminded me of pee never touched it again. Stayed away from the rest. I hung out with them because it really ticked off my dad. When you have an abusive parent you do things to make them angry. That means a lot of times hanging with the wrong crowd. Thank God my priorities were different! My friend bet me $5.00 I would be pregnant before I could graduate high school and I went on to college. She did not finish high school she had her first kid when she was 14.

[reply]
1. 10/22/08
  
  calais50
  
  Good for you for being so smart amongst so much stupidity.
10/22/08

Kryptonitemare

That girl is gonna look and feel so ugly on the outside and the inside thanks to her mom.

I have nothing against drugs, drinking or smoking but the effects on doing that stuff so young is just terrible. It screws with your mind and body.

When I was that age I did the same things but never infront of my mom or even at home. If I was able to smoke inside my house at 14 my lungs would of been black, You can never put down your smokes when you're at home doing nothing.

Cool parents are the worst type of parents.

"If I ever have a kid I'm gonna be a fucking amazing father. I will rule as a father and heres why. Because I'm gonna be the most boring hateful father on the planet." - Patton Oswalt

[reply]
1. 10/22/08
  
  ryam
  
  Wait. I wouldn't say "Cool parents are the worst type of parents."
  
  The mother mentioned in the article is NOT cool. She is STUPID.
  
  On the other hand, my mom is cool because she supported my dreams and helped give me the right direction to reach them. She gave me freedom but taught me responsibility for my actions. My friends like her a lot because she can level with us and understand the challenges that we're going through -- and of course offer very wise advice when we need it.
  
  I guess we have different definitions of coolness.
2. 10/22/08
  
  Kryptonitemare
  
  "I guess we have different definitions of coolness."
  
  Bingo. Ok so maybe cool is the wrong word to use. I don't know what word to use but I remember growing up there were always parents who had no problem with their kids doing these things.
10/22/08

dosox

That's mommy's bestfriend

[reply]
1. 10/22/08
  
  calais50
  
  I hate parents who only care about being their kids' best friends.
2. 10/22/08
  
  dosox
  
  I hate it too..
  Mom's knows best but not THIS mom...
10/22/08

psychosolodiver

Wow! She is obviously a horrible mother by most standards.

As long as she isn't committing "child abuse" her family should be left alone. Now, what is "child abuse?"

[reply]
1. 10/22/08
  
  dosox
  
  Child Abuse:
  Oxford Dictionary explains it best...
2. 10/22/08
  
  dosyrosie
  
  Well i work in our councils social work department and the definition we use is:
  
  that children may be in need of protection where their basic needs are not being met in a manner which is appropriate to their individual needs and stage of development and this child is, or will be, at risk through avoidable acts of commission or omission on the part of those holding parental responsibilities.
  
  To define an act or omission as abusive and/or presenting future risk, a number of elements must be taken into account. These include demonstrable or predictable harm to the child which must have been avoidable because of action or inaction by the parent or other carer.
  
  And breathe..
10/22/08

dosyrosie

@ryam
I'd say my mum was pretty cool too, she didn't try to be my best friend but I would say i treat her like one, there is nothing I can't talk to her about and I vaue her opinion, my dad too! They taught me responsibility but also made me feel respected! I'd get asked my opinion on what we were going to do (looking back I'm not sure my ideas, at 5yrs old, were often followed but it made me feel more involved and less 'dragged about')

The mother in the article definately is trying to be 'cool' with her kids, but is doing it in a destructive way!

[reply]
10/22/08

Bayho

hmm.. well its hard to say because.. my parents always told me.." you drink with your friends.. why cant you drink with us..we rather you do it with us then behind us"... but nothing more then just one drink of like wine when i was younger. not smoking or anything.. but yeah i do think that she does need to figure out that whats shes doing isnt right.. but hey everyone has there own way of dealing with things.

[reply]
10/22/08

blackzero85

...that mother is.... so lame. She's good at spoiling her own daughter, I think.

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