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Lies!! All LIES!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by Anok • 5/07/09 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: lice
Yeah, OK. So everything you think you know about headlice, is probably a lie. A dirty, rotten, no good lie. Unfortunately, we here at Anokville have been inundated with the nasty little bastards, courtesy of a neighborhood playmate (thankyouverymuch grrr).
What I learned about lice, was amazing. What I learned was not true about lice could have saved us at least two weeks worth of frustration had I known that earlier. (I've never had lice before, so I had no clue what was going on).
Myth number one, dirty people get lice. Wrong, lice prefer clean hair and scalps, it's easier for them to eat and lay eggs that way. (bastards).
Myth number two, get the Nix stuff, douse your head, and you're good to go.
WRONG!!!!!! First of all, for the price of the chemical shampoos, they suck. I was pulling live adult lice bugs out of my hair after a solid 15 minutes of being coated in the stuff that's supposed to kill them. So that didn't work at all.
Second of all, I learned that lice can lay their eggs just about anywhere, clothes, beds, curtains, couches, toys etc...and they will hatch, and crawl until they find a head. This is how you fail to get rid of lice, when you fail to destroy all of your earthly belongings with fire. (OK, You just have to clean or quarantine the stuff, but still, I was all KILL THEM!!!!!)
Second, re infestation happens, again, and again, and again.
My suggestion - the only sure fire way to rid yourself of the little SOB's is to first, coat your (damp) hair in mayo, wrap with plastic and a warm towel, let sit for over an hour. comb through, Wash that out with dish soap, and then soak hair with white vinegar. Using a spray bottle filled with vinegar, have someone go through your hair, follicle by follicle, spraying you down with vinegar, and picking out every, individual, egg on your head.
The mayo suffocates the adult lice and nymphs, the vinegar loosens the glue used to stick the eggs into your hair.
Then, after decontaminating your house, and your head, sit with dandruff shampoo and afterwards conditioner ten minutes each on your head at least twice a day, and thoroughly comb through all of your hair multiple times a day to find any and all eggs, nymphs, and lice. Do this for at least a week, if not longer. DO it for a week after you think you're "all clear". (I recommend doing this over a white tub or sink, so you can see what you've got, and then drown the bastards).
Change your bed linens every.single.night. Vacuum your mattresses! your couch, your toys, your rugs...twice a day.
bastards! I HATE LICE!!!!
User Comments
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That is the grossest thing I've heard in a long time. I am so sorry you've going through this, Anok.
And me, as a person with mayo-fear, I think I'm as grossed out by pasting your head with mayo as I am the lice...
(shudder!)
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You do tend to smell like potato salad after a while
But there is also a lotion you can use, or olive oil - essentially anything that is heavy, fatty, and can suffocate things. As it turns out, lice can hold their breath for over a half hour if not longer, so you really need to douse the buggers. A normal shower will not do.
And in the end, what you wind up doing is simply beating them to death -
The lice can hold their breath for half an hour?
Well, then you'd think with that kind of talent, they could launch into more productive, positive, less parasitic careers wouldn't you?...
...I suggest synchronized swimming.
I bet the flea circus would be proud to have them as a supporting act. -
Coconut oil does it too. -
HAhahahahaha LOL. You would think, but nooooo. They have to be blood sucking freeloaders!
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Ewww, you have cooties.
I happen to be terrified of lice and of bed bugs.
I freak out every time I see a news story on bed bugs.-
Yeah, I wish I had had them in spades yesterday when I encountered a very nasty women whom I would have liked to infest with lice.
but it wasn't in the cards. -
Hmmm, you should carry a lice infested hairbrush just for those situations. Very effective weapon.
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You know....the thought crossed my mind...
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Try being a hotelier and worrying about bed bugs! They hitch a ride in people's luggage and have nothing to do with a room's general cleanliness. And it's completely outside of the hotel owner's control. -
Eeewwwww
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And then they're like locusts. They go dormant and reemerge six months or so later on the first cold, rainy day, to feast on the blood of the unsuspecting. So it's a time bomb waiting to go off, and is completely unpredictable. You have to throw away all the soft goods in the room and nuke it with pesticides -- mattress, pillows, duvets -- everything! In the worst cases, even the drapes and carpets have to go. And your guest is left with the impression that you're running the dirtiest hotel on the planet, when it was really uninvited house guests. The trade magazines are all abuzz with nightmare stories.
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Eww ew ew ew ewwwwww
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UGH!!
been there did that. What a living hell it was. Plus the kiddo who gifted my sons whole 1st grade class had a parent who did the bare minimum and re-liced the class three times. YOu've gotten some of the best ways to delice, I hope you get them all and it's over soon!!!
Regular Listerine worked into the hair all the eway to the scalp also kills them.-
Oh, that's nice. I'd have killed the woman! *shudder*
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most of us wanted to but cooler heads prevailed. After the second time we tossed all the stuffed animals away. The boys each kept one and the rest went to the dumpster. I bought all new pillows and blankets. What a pain in the tush it was.
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Ugh, I do NOT want to go through all that
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Nits really are a nightmare...
do you have a metal comb? because that's the only thing that will get the eggs as well as the lice. Last time I had to sit through High School Musical 1 & 2 while I did my sister's hair! The chemist did give me some good chemical stuff...put it on before bed, rinsed it out and combed through with the metal comb, then did it 7 days later to be sure we got them all (the eggs take at most 7 days to hatch). Bloody nightmare...-
I have a nit comb, but it's plastic. it works really well under water - get's even the nymphs out. But when push comes to shove, I pull the suckers out with my fingers - just to be absolutely sure I got it out. I also got good at catching the adult lice with my fingers. They're quick!
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you should get a metal one...some of the eggs are too small to see easily but they get pulled out by the metal combs. They're a bit expensive...but you're going to need to use it repeatedly...
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If we see a need to buy it I'll get one. SO far...so good. my technique of brushing underwater has actually even gotten rid of the nymphs, so they don't even have time to lay eggs.
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Reading that made my head itch.-
Mine too! -
Hahahahaha.
Every time I have even the slightest itch now I run for the bathroom, comb in hand...I'm so freaking paranoid now! -
I'll admit I'm itching a bit now too sympathy itches
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we had them when I was about 7 and my mother dumped hydrogen proxide on our heads and bombed the house with one of those fogger things. Then she used some sort of steam cleaner on all soft fabrics and they were gone. No reinfestation... though we were blonde looking for a few weeks....-
Hmmm hydrogen peroxide, doesn't sting, doesn't hurt..not a bad idea.
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How do you get mice in your hair and not know it? Can't you hear them squeaking? Don't you notice them run down off your head and down your arm every time you eat cheese???
If I had head mice I would buy a Dwarf Javanese mouse cat and set it free on my head that would soon clear the whiskery cheese stealers outta there!
Oh and by the way, HA! You have head mice!!! Get a bath you smelly anarchist!!!-
Don't be silly. They were mute mice. -
I don't care what breed they were, you should still be able to hear them squeaking and clumping about in the little mouse clogs.
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They are very tiny mice. With very tiny squeaks.
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you forgot the Tea Tree Oil, add a few drops to your conditioner, everyday, they don't like it and won't hop back on-
I knew I should have bought some of that stuff!
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My mom used to be a headstart teacher (lice central) She told me to send my kids to school with hairgel, mouse, and hairspray. Dry the hair with the gel and mouse then spray the hair. Even though your kids hair is clean they don't like it. Makes hair dirty and suffocates them. Lice hate dirty hair. Clean hair makes it easier to suck blood.-
I was thinking about that...I use hairspray to kill insects all the time because it suffocates them. maybe I'll start applying it to our hair!
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What a lousey job to have -
Ba-dum-dum-tsh!
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LOL Anok.....thanks to your little story here, all the google ads on this page are making me ill
I'm really sorry your family got afflicted!!!-
Are you itchy yet? I have a great time calling my mother and telling her all about the bugs. She gets itchy for DAYS Muwahahahaha
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I particularly like the one that reads, "Kill and Dissolve Head Lice". If it really worked, why would you need to buy two and still get another, free or not?
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Ha! I know! That crap doesn't work at all!
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Get some Frontline Plus, crush it up in the kids food... works like a charm
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*Thwap* Bad! Naughty!
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lol. That's what I'm here for
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What is the favourite hobby of head lice?
Nitting.-
HahahahaHAhahahahahahahaha
You know, this experience has brought a whole new meaning to "nit picking". -
What is the favourite lice nursery rhyme?
Three Blind Lice
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Lousy, bloody jokes.
And you get onto me for the horrible puns. -
nitting...snicker! -
I'm now giggling uncontrollably
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Just for you @gtally
What did the masochist say to the headlice?
Bite me! -
cr, your louse jokes really suck.
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Are you saying Claire's jokes are lousy?
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What do you call head lice on a bald person?
Homeless!
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Whenever I hear about those nasty little critters, I am actually glad I don't have kids. Everyone I know who has kids has had to deal with this at some point--no matter where they live, too--from Montana, to NYC to San Francisco.-
From flea to shining flea?
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*headdesk*
LOLLOL
Ahhhh, yes, the joys of parenthood. What a lie. See? It's lies, all LIES!!! You get to clean up feces and urine, and get lice, and be vomited on, and and and....hooray!
Why did I sign up for this again? -
I was thinking Anok...
Shouldn't the title of this thread have been "Lice!! All LICE!!!" ? -
Oh....Ow....these lice jokes are killin me
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Just read this. I personally wouldn't recommend picking out every single egg from your hair, because you will be there a very long time! And all that mayonnaise, wrapping your head in cling film, vinegar stuff and vacuuming everything in the house twice a day sounds a bit much to me.
From personal experience, you simply buy the strongest lotion from the chemist, put as much of that all over the hair as possible, leave in overnight, massage with shampoo, go over with a nitcombe, rinse, then change all of the bedsheets and pillows, and repeat a week later.-
Yeah, well it may all sound like "a bit much" but simply putting chemist's lotion on your hair and vacuuming doesn't actually get rid of them.
But if you'd like to be infested and reinfested constantly, you go right on ahead.
And yes, you have to pick out every single egg, because the chemicals don't kill the eggs. They they will hatch on your head, and reinfest you.
People who do the bare minimum are the ones who constantly reinfest others - as mentioned above. -
"Leave in overnight" is the part that sounds like a bit much to me, since the package instructions say not to leave it on your hair for more than ten minutes. That stuff has some mighty fumes, and I've got to think that breathing it in while sleeping is a whole lost more serious than sitting around with mayo on your head for an hour.
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Actually I had head lice for five years and tried all sorts of things until I did what I mentioned above. That was four years ago and I've been lice-free ever since
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sorry but I laughed reading this. I know it well. NEver had the issue until my daughter came home scratching. Lice love clean hair. Go figure. -
A good salad dresssing and your head lice are gone! I never knew. I used to just shave my head. Looking like a Neo-Nazi means less kids get close to you, which means you don't get head lice that easily. -
(vomits)
You (cough) changed your avatar ?
(vomits again) -
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Stop link dropping.
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Fought this same problem about 10 years ago when my kids got head lice from the school. It was horrible! I did it all. Put mayo in our heads covered with plastic trash bags, vaccumed and sprayed EVERTHING down. Sprayed the little cracks and crevices of all furniture. Thought we were in the clear, but OH NO! went through it all again, then put stuffed animals in black trash bags and stuck out in the sun for 2 weeks even after spraying them. I fought this problem for weeks. Took the kids to the doctor who gave them special shampoo and asked everything I had done and told him everything. Then he asked ...did you vaccum your car?? Who would have thought? Once i did that, I got rid of the problem. You never know where those shits will lurk! I will never forget all that work to get rid of them!
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