Post limericks! Here are a few of my favorites from LimerickDB:

if(computer.fail==true){
background.setColor(blue);
user.frown();
sys.shutdown();
user.scream("OH, FUCK YOU");}

A UNIX saleslady, Lenore,
Enjoys work, but she likes the beach more.
She found a good way
To combine work and play:
She sells C shells by the seashore.

A programmer started to cuss
Because getting to sleep was a fuss
As he lay there in bed
Looping 'round in his head
was: while(!asleep()) sheep++;

There is a young poet named Herman.
He's not very good, but he's learnin',
Though he often offends
Because he so often ends
Alle sein Limericks auf Deutsch.

There was a young woman named Bright
Whose speed was much faster than light.
She set out one day
In a relative way,
And returned on the previous night.

There once was a man from Japan
whose limericks just wouldn't scan.
When asked why this was,
he answered, "Because
I always cram as many syllables into the last line as I possibly can."

A young psychic midget named Marge
Went to jail with the most heinous charge
But despite lock and key
The next day she broke free
And the headlines said "Small Medium at Large"

The integral of zee-squared dee zee,
From 1 to the cube root of 3,
Times the cosine,
Of 3 pi over 9,
Is the log of the cube root of e.



A history grad student, Marta,
mis-clicked as she browsed on Encarta.
Instead of King Midas,
there appeared Leonidas --
"Phrygia? Madame, THIS IS SPARTA!"

A daring young woman named Alice
used a dynamite stick as a phallus
They found her vagina
In North Carolina,
And bits of her anus in Dallas.

This database comes with a curse:
I just wasted an hour or worse
On LimerickDB,
Now all that I see
I read as if written in verse.

There was a young girl from Rabat,
who had triplets, Nat, Pat and Tat;
It was fun in the breeding,
But hell in the feeding,
When she found she had no tit for Tat.

There was a young fencer named Fisk
Whose swordplay was agile and brisk.
So fast was his action,
The Lorentz contraction
Diminished his sword to a disk.

I think words are ambrosial and mystic
I get tongue-tied when told, "Be simplistic."
I don't mean to make louche rhymes,
or to act like a douche -- I'm
just lexiphanicistic.

(In response to: www.limerickdb.com/?146 )
If you think that this proof is a hit
And you're enamored with your clever wit
Then look close and you'll see
That in part two, line three,
You divided by zero - OH SHI-

There one was a poet named Rix
Who was also a hacker, for kicks.
His greatest construction
Ensured self-destruction --
The last line was ') DROP TABLE Limericks;--

There once was a fellow from Xiangling
Whose greatest delight was in mangling
Poems. He would drop
Words between lines and lop
Their ends off, and leave readers dang

There was a limerick I heard,
With stressed syllables quite awkward.
Rhythm was somewhat
Still present in it, but
It forced mispronouncing every word.

There once was a girl named Jude,
Who's skirt by the wind was strewed.
A man came along,
And unless im quite wrong,
You expected this last line to be lewd.

That should be enough to get this party started.

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