Discussions
Making Real Friends Through Blogging?
Posted by ChampDog • 12/07/07 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Tags: blogging, friends, make friends
Can we really make friends through blogging? How many of you has actually had real closed friends through blogging? What is our intention really to be here? It seems like every blogger has their own agenda rather than making friends here. Is it true?
When you add someone to your friend list in blogcatalog or other blog network, is he/she really your friends? Does he or she really knows you are or you really know them very well? If most of our friends list we do not really know who they are, then why we want to add them? Why they're in our friends list? It is simply for the sake of advertising?
What is your opinion? What do you guys think?
User Comments
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Hi Champ. I was just about to start a new discussion of this topic when I found yours to share my opinion about it.
Honestly, I'm tired to receive those notifications such as "anybody has added you to their friends". When this option appeared in Blog Catalog, it looked like a great idea to be in contact with another bloggers with similar interests. But, as any BC user could have seen, those "friends" and "invitations" you receive have absolutely nothing to do with your blog topics.
I don’t have many friends in BC, for a simple reason: I love those blogs! We share similar interests, values (by the way, something hard to find here) and ideas. That’s why I oftenly take a look around them, see what’s new. They’re my friends, my BC friends, off course.
Obviously, you don’t visit again a blog that you dislike, even more, sometimes you just don’t have to get in, just take a look in the description to see what it’s all about.
In a few words, the thing goes like this: A BLOG THAT YOU LIKE YOU VISIT AGAIN, A BLOG THAT YOU DON’T LIKE YOU NEVER VISIT, EVEN IF YOU ARE INVITED TO. Surely, any averaged blogger who follows statistics would agree with this. Less is more.
Mi final conclusion is that the frontier between those invitations and SPAM its really, really close, and no ones likes trash. So I prefer to choose my friends, the blogs of my interest, neighborhoods, discussions, etc .
Remember: less is more.-
I think you make a good point here. Perhaps you're right, less is more. Maybe starting from today, I will search for the blog that interests to me and try to make friends with them. We don't need to really have a lot of friends (in the list) or join a lot of communities. Just the community that we're interested in would be good enough. Is it what you're trying to say?
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Exactly, that's the point. I think that's the way to make friends trough blogging,I don't know how real in this superficial world, but friends at all.
Best wishes from Mendoza, Argentina.
Lucas -
I agree with you. That's why I also don't have many friends on my friend list and neighbours. Maybe because I haven't really go out and seek for friends. But I really don't like it when people have few hundreds so called "Friends" on their list. Who is going to interact with all of those.
I believe they should have some other contact options that suit the relationship levels.
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I have made some real friends in the world of blog and I am planning a visit a whole bunch of them next September, New York and Vegas woo hoo!
I do find it odd that I have made friends with people I have never physically met and that they are all Americans. No offense to Americans I just never thought I would have a whole host of friends across the pond
But some folks don't write about personal stuff, so while you can admire their writing and humour you cant really form a friendship with them.-
Real friends means you actually meet them in person or just virtually? Ya, if they don't write about personal stuff, then we probably can form a friendly through discussing a same topics of interest.
Thinking of it, do you guys think female's blogger can easily make friends than the male blogger? I kind of have this kind of impression that if you're female's blogger, a lot of male's blogger will automatically approach you and try to make friends with you. Is it true?
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virtual friend became reality. let make it happen!let be honest in cyber space-
I have a lot virtual friends become reality friends but it is not through blogging so far. Probably one day I can meet some real blogger's friends.:)
Having said that, I kind of have a impression that most bloggers do not come here for making friends. Therefore, the chances you make friends through blogging is also lower. I don't know. Maybe I"m wrong.
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I have made 1 real friend. Author who I speak with and also she sent me her book. I hope to make more friends, in my area who have photblogs or gaming blogs. I still have not made a lot of friends after moving here.
I was told I need to get off the PC and it might help lol.-
Great to hear that. I have few blogs that I read often but I"m not sure if I myself can considered a friend of the author. What do you mean get off the PC? You mean stop blogging?
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There are a number of people I've met online I've really grown to like-- but it's not an instant Friend Me thing. It's a getting to know the person and their opinions and interests over time.
I enjoy the virtual "company" of these online folks-- it's different than talking in person, yes. But it's still a rewarding form of interaction. -
is anybody went to shopping center and meet their 'blogger friend'. if this happen then blogging are really making friend.
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But the question is will you go and introduce yourself when you see them in the shopping center? It probably also depends how closed you're virtually. You know, it is kind of embarrass if he/she says, "you are?"
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Sometimes we may receive a new friend, but when we check them out, they have gazillions of other friends already on their list. And they don't even bother to read mine first before adding me. Neither do they have any similar interest with mine.
Makes me wonder, for what purpose do they add me? Are they really interested in my blog, or..you know..spamming for better exposures across the network. I'm not questioning their honesty, but..like I said..it makes me wonder...
By the way, I did make friend with a chap who has a similar blogging objective with mine. Nice..-
I have the same problems with you. So, should we add friends for those who really our friend or should we just simply add any friends?
If someone you don't know or their blog is not your interest add you as a friend, what will you do? Ignore them? -
Well, i give them some time..if they check me back, I'll definitely add them. if not, I'll consider them as my fan- where I'm the superstar!
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Superstars? It sounds good!
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An example of using our problem for a higher self esteem
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If you can meet and befriend people at work, in a bar, church, school, or any type of social event why not through blogging?-
But the problem is most of the friends in our friend list is not really our friends. At least this is true for me. I initially just want to add the friends that I really know but I saw everyone seems like just simply adding friends for fun. So I just simply follow the trend since everyone is doing that. Now thinking back, should I really do that? Should I only add friends that I really know them? I"m not sure anymore.
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Everyone has different technique on this, but I'd suggest you don't feel obligated to friend someone back you don't know just because they ask you to. People have different motivations for friending.
I know I myself have added friends based on positive interactions here in the forums, with people who I see as being consistent people. -
Very good point you're saying that everyone have different motivation of friending. Maybe I should follow the way you add friend. Sounds good to me.
Have you ever tried to remove friends after you found out they're not the type of friends that you're looking for? I just wonder. -
I have actually, because I hadn't figured out the whole Friending thing soon enough when I started on BlogCatalog.
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Maybe I will do the same. But I think after doing that, my friends list will be close to zero. hahaha.. Anyway, thanks for the sharing.
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Good point. I get notifications of people having added me to their friends all the time, and I always visit their site, but I never add them (or anybody else for that matter) unless I really like the blog or the topic or it somehow is related to my topic or my blog. I mean, that's the whole idea about friends and neighbourhoods, isn't it? Maybe I'm choosey and maybe that's why I have "few" friends on blogcatalog (yet, I just started a week ago), but fine. Better have a list of friends that people who visit my blog may want to visit than having 2000-something friends no one bothers to check out.-
I absolutely agree with you.
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let me put in this way: find some friend at you work, club,vacation etc. and invite them into blog sphere, and now you are making friend
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Makes it kind'a hard when the only one I know of that likes blogging and computers is me .... None, NONE of my friends does and just look funny at me when I'm talking about it.. A blog is SO much more than just words on a screen...not everybody understands that..where do I find friends with the same interests here in Norway..any blog forum you know of ?
And we're talking real LIVE friends... -
I understand exactly how you feel. Honestly I think blogging in a very lonely job, don't you guys think so? But, why don't we make it more interesting? Can we? Like meeting real new friends through blogging?
Maybe you could just give a search in Google, something like "Norway Blogger Forum". There may be already a forum for that. This is how I found the blogger forum in my country. -
that was the problem. i have experience too. my friend not interested in blogsphere. he say "what are you doing all day in front of you computer?". i try to explain but he refuse
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Maybe you could make yourself a Norway Blogger Squidoo page to try to get the attention of other folks you could potentially become friends with in your country.
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Looks like minority of our real friends do not blog. Thinking of it, it is quite a true statement for myself too.
Maybe they think blogging is something similar to second life (virtual world) which they may against? -
I'm blogging in english now, so won't be accepted into norwegian blogs anyway I think
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I don't think that a friend's list really means anything, to me anyway, but I have come across a couple of people over the past couple of months that I am now very fond of. More than a couple really...They are all women, which is great and odd at the same time because I don't really have any female friends. It can be another way to socialize and make friends, except usually the friends are people that you would have never met in normal circumstances. And it's an odd kind of friendship because with half of them, I don't actually know their real names which only occurred to me right now! But I know more about these people than I do about people I see in real life. Either way, blogging is different to everyone so you get what you make of it.-
When you said friend's list doesn't mean anything, are you saying we should add friends only for those we know or you mean it really doesn't really matter?
Anyway, just to share a bit here. My closest person in my real life now was actually my virtual friend that we meet each other in the IRC network almost 10 years ago. Sad news is most of them in fact, I've already lost track to them.
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No question - of course you can make friends through blogging BUT it may take a phone call and/or meeting to take it to the next level of connectivity, in basic human form...
This week we'll be calling our 15 founders throughout the world to talk to them for the first time, 11 of them came as a result of our blog!
www.gosmelltheflowers.com/blog -
I see where Lucas is coming from. I am torn in that I appreciate that someone has added me as a friend but it seems like it can get pretty tedious adding friends that you have no intent on ever visiting again. In addition, it would be the same on the other end as well.
Which leaves you to say by just adding friends randomly is there a true benefit. No one likes doing things that are futile and makes no sense.
With that being said I am going to re-evaluate how I handle friend additions. Thanks for a relevant discussion topic. -
However, If someone adds you to their list of friends, what's the harm in reciprocating? You don't know right away where it may lead. If another blogger adds you as a friend and you say, "no, I don't want to be your friend, it sort of does remind me of high school. What about simply "connecting" to other cultures, learning something new?
I could never just NOT be someone's friend because I immediately decided that would be of no benefit to me. Friends are always beneficial, and everyone has something to share.
And I have made a face to face friend here, but I assure you I never would have anticipated that happening.-
Thanks for bringing up this good point. This is exactly what I"m facing. If someone is adding you, you ignore them because they don't seem like a similar topics with you? It doesn't seem like a very polite way.
I think they're 2 ways of making real friends here if we really want to. You add them first, then you only know them or you know them first before you add them. Perhaps this topic is also a very subjective thing to be discussed as some of us has already mentioned everyone has different motivation of adding friends here.
As for now, I would probably follow Lucas's suggestion here. Less is more.
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it's possible. it's like chatting. or myspacing. you can meet people who share interests. it's actually might be the ideal way to make friends. you get past the negative stigma attached to it and you're good. making friends in the real world require you to compromise compatibility...but with the internet you start with a more solid foundation. but because of it's simplicity, you get alot of random crazies too. and it's easy to back out cause you haven't met that person face to face.
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