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Marriage advice.
Posted by LolitaV • 10 days ago • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: marriage is really for losers., marriage sucks
Instead of asking people from random marriage forums, I decided to ask my e-friends: you guys.
So, while D. and I were separated (I moved into my parents and he was there often pleading for my return) a girl he'd met cooked dinner for him once, came to our house another day and our business a 3rd day and tried to kiss him. He pushed her away and she was pissed and she left. All of this, according to him. Lately though, I have a feeling that he is hiding things from me (he has his phone on vibrate, keeps it with him 24/7, etc...) Just now, I asked him if he'd spoken to her since I came back, he told me that she called 2 weeks ago- according to him, she calls every once in a while. Am I wrong for thinking that my husband is actually a cheating A-hole that I should leave for good and never talk to again?
As I am typing this, my instinct is to pack my ish and go.
help?
User Comments
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I have no idea really!I understand that you might be angry, but packing and go is not a miracle solution. -
Have you asked him why he thinks it's acceptable to continue talking with her?
It seems to me that whether he's actually "cheating" or not, he's not really reinvesting in your marriage so long as he's not fully focused on you. I wouldn't do anything precipitous, but I'd ask some hard questions and think seriously about whether or not he's 100% in the marriage (and not just physically). If he's not, you're probably never going to get what you want out of it.-
what questions would you ask.
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For starter's, I'd ask him what motivated him to maintain contact with her, and what made him think that was acceptable. And if he played it off as something innocent, I'd ask why he hadn't mentioned it to you if he thought it was harmless. I'd ask whether there were any other women I didn't know about. And then I'd ask him whether he really wanted to work on our marriage and agree to be completely transparent or not. If that's a no, there's really no hope.
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thanks girl.
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I hope it works out.
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Not wrong for "thinking" it, but after all it may not be true. You need to sit down and talk to him about it.-
Ciao Lolita! I'm with NP here. I do hope it isn't true, but you do need to find it out and talk to him. -
thanks guys. I will talk to him and ask the questions Madame suggested. If I don't get quality answers. It's to the left, to the left for my hubby. I am done playing.
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not a good idea asking us for help. i mean really. have you read some of the advice we give? besides, how could anyone draw any sort of conclusion for you based on a few sentences from your point of view?
having said all that, you know the answer already anyway. as you pointed out, your in stinct!
best of luck on whatever you decide.-
I second that.
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Can you check his cell phone for incoming/outgoing calls? -
Speaking from experience (my kids dad cheated numerous times), when he starts hiding things from you, acting different, dressing different, shaving more often, showering more often, then it's time to start wondering. Especially if there's been other females in the picture during all of this like the one your talking about. My advice to you is to simply keep your eyes open and use your better judgement. You obviously have a reason for suspecting and sometimes suspicions aren't too far off from the truth.
I got rid of mine, best decision I ever made for myself, life is good! -
ok, i wanted to make sure I responded without reading anything else so my response wouldn't be skewed.... so here's my take, and this is from the perspective of a girl who had an affair with a married man so....
phone on vibrate and on him 24/7 - this is new then compared to his old, normal behavior? if yes, then it's because he doesn't want you to be able to see his messages to her/from her, calls, etc...
she wouldn't be calling him "once in awhile" or stopping by or anything like that if they hadn't already done something - unless she's just a goofball (which is entirely possible).
so how do you find out just how much contact they've had? confiscate the cell phone bill. you'll be able to see who he's been texting/receiving texts from (tho you'll never know the content) as well as phone calls to and from.... call all the numbers you don't know until you get a woman's voicemail. -
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All humans err. Mutual love,respect, and honesty corrects. Why not reinvent your lives first and find out where the link went loose?
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