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Monogomy- Overrated?
Posted by lotusb • 11/02/09 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: relationships
I have been talking to a few friends lately about monogomy in relationships and how it can prove challenging to stay on that path in long-term relationships.
Are relationships possible without monogomy? Can a man and woman have a committed relationship and still be open and forgiving to "slip ups"? Does cheating mean you don't care about the relationship?
Whats your perception of monogomy?
User Comments
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For me, I've been with my partner for 14 years. We got married last year legally in MA. For me to ever cheat on her, would emotionally hurt me as well. It depends on each couple though. I would never want to bring an STD home to my wife or vise/versa. And bringing someone else into the bedroom isn't needed because each time we're intimate, it's so different from the last time. Keep it fresh and alive and you won't need to be polyamorous, unless that is your chosen lifestyle.-
I can understand that. I have been in long term relationships, not 14 years, but long for my age. I think it's pretty hard to find someone to keep it fresh with. Personally I wouldn't mind having a sexually open relationship if it came with certian rules. Would depend on who the relationship was with though.
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Yea, I think it depends on the relationship and what two people do to keep it fresh, but the open relationship thing seems like too much of a risk. Wouldn't you be afraid if they feel in love with someone they are involved with sexually?
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My perspective on monogamy is this: lasting love comes from a dedication to help each other through life -- the good parts and the challenging parts. All long term relationships have highs and lows, but if you share new experiences together and are dedicated to learning and changing together, it is easier to keep things fresh. -
I think if you are going to consider yourself in a committed relationship, monogamy is a must and any violation of that commitment - be it physical or emotional - chips away at the solidity of that relationship. I'm 100% FOR and do believe in monogamous/committed relationships.-
Agreed. -
Well but in some sense EVERYONE cheats eventually. There will be a time or a moment where you or your partner will feel drawn to someone else or attracted to them enough to want to sleep with them. Maybe a friend that becomes too close. Of course they may not act on it, but it's impossible for commitment to be fenced in by the almost impossibly high standards of pure monogomy. And for that reason I could forgive my partners indescression.
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I'll forgive a physical indiscretion long before I'll forgive an emotional one - an emotional one involves the head and heart, a physical one involves a penis and vagine and that's it.
I disagree that EVERYONE cheats eventually. I have, in fact, had indepth discussions with my father and he said that he has never, nor would he ever, cheat on my mother. he was raised with a father who had many mistresses and saw what it did to his mother - he would never do that. I have "cheated" once and will never do it again - i will also NOT commit myself to someone who I do not feel will be able to evolve with me and the relationship and as such, keep it fun and interesting.
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All sorts of relationships are possible, from monogamy to anything goes. I've seen people stick together and stay partners through every kind of weird configuration.-
Agreed.
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I don't think its over rated. Monogomy is the way GOD intended. With me and Ted flip flopping...I don't know if we will ever be able to trust again. It really SUX-
It's the way the Christian god intended it...some religions believe in multiple wives or mad virgins waiting on the other side of death...
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hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha...virgins
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I don't think it's overrated. However, if it isn't for you, don't get into a relationship in the first place. Just makes sense. Spare other people misery. Especially if there are kids involved.-
Monogomy or lack of it doesn't mean someone can or can (anymore more or less than anyone else) maintain a relationsip. If it's a mutual decision, even children won't neccesarily be affected by it.
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i think monogamy needs to make a comeback. -
Agreed
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I'm not very judgemental or religious, but in my opinion, if you can't stay monogamous it simply means you are not very creative, have issues to work through (mid-life crisis?), or made a poor choice in a partner. A solid sex life equals a solid relationship. Instead of going out chasing tail, stay home and work on yourself and your relationship. Use your imagination!!!-
Well Pink Monkey, I was more referencing couples who purposfully CHOOSE to have a mutuallly non-monogomous relationship. Not just people who cheat on their mate.
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Then, I even stand firmer to my previous claim. But I'll add no self-respect to the list. Either for the one who suggests it or the one who put up with it. Your kidding yourself if you think a decision like that is ever mutual.
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Monogamy is a must with me. I've never been keen on whoring around -- it does bad things to my ego.-
And the vagina.
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True.
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monogomy isn't the key to every relationship and isn't important for some but for me it is. There's a trust I need and we both agree that for us a commited relationship means commited only to each other in bed and in life.
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