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Posted by MadameX • 5/14/08 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic

I am apparently ranked # 1 for the term "how to look like an 80s metalhead" (no quotes)

User Comments

5/14/08

pointlessbanter

um... I wrote about the 12 year old dominatrix story yesterday... so um... you do the math on some of those combos

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1. 5/14/08
  
  MadameX
  
  Thanks for not recreating them here. I just HATE when BC gets raided by the FBI.
5/14/08

ThriftShopRomantic

Niiice. I wasn't aware you gave tips on that, Tiffany. Perhaps it's a new look I should try.

Recent ones that have tickled me are:

-my tastebuds would go crazy
-how to give bad news by personality types
-Jagr hitler
-little glass cats

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5/14/08

Shiley

How do you guys find out this stuff? That is funny.

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1. 5/14/08
  
  MadameX
  
  Shirley, do you have a stats program installed? If so, the referring URLs that come from Google and Yahoo search (and others) will tell you what terms people searched to arrive there.
2. 5/14/08
  
  Shiley
  
  No, I don't. The closest I have is feedjit.
3. 5/14/08
  
  MadameX
  
  There are a lot of decent ones that are free and easy to use if you'd like to learn this fun stuff (and some useful stuff, too). I use StatCounter and Google Analytics (both free), but I'm sure others can recommend other good, free programs.
4. 5/14/08
  
  Shiley
  
  I am going to check on that.
5. 5/15/08
  
  janeycatte
  
  That sounds like something I need, too. Thanks for the info, MadameX
5/14/08

AmyOops

I got Man Can..

what does that mean?

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1. 5/15/08
  
  janeycatte
  
  Aren't they like man boobs or something?
5/14/08

RTBjr73

I read your post...I am going to have to say that you are MUCH prettier than Lars Ulrich.

[reply]
1. 5/14/08
  
  MadameX
  
  Thanks...I think.
  
  Is that the Metallica guy?
2. 5/14/08
  
  RTBjr73
  
  Yes, he is the drummer for the band. All of these guys have cut their hair since.
3. 5/14/08
  
  ekim941
  
  Now that's something I bet you don't hear everyday.
  
  "you're prettier than the drummer for Metallica"
  I think I found a new pick-up line
4. 5/14/08
  
  RTBjr73
  
  Oh come on, you two!!!!
  
  Alright...Let me clarify...Lars is a typical ugly strung out rock star.
  
  MadameX is a hottie.
  
  There.
  
  Ekim, you were the one in high school in the back of class that made all those noises when the teacher wasn't looking, weren't you.
5/14/08

ekim941

If you are the utmost authority on the 80's metalhead look, I have a question.

When I'm wearing my tight vinyl pants, what type of underwear should I use? I have studied all the photos and can't quite figure this out. The vinyl briefs cause too much friction when I walk.

[reply]
1. 5/14/08
  
  MadameX
  
  None, babe. None at all.
2. 5/14/08
  
  ekim941
  
  But I'll get a rash on my tooshy
3. 5/14/08
  
  MadameX
  
  Well, you have to rub the inside of the pants with cornstarch before you put them on, silly.
4. 5/14/08
  
  ekim941
  
  Oh, like for a baby that has diaper rash?
  
  Are you trying to tell me something?
5. 5/14/08
  
  MadameX
  
  ekim, don't take this personally, but I've made a conscious decision not to give any more thought to the inside of your pants today.
6. 5/14/08
  
  RTBjr73
  
  yeah, she is trying to tell you to not poop in your pants, especially those viynl ones.
7. 5/14/08
  
  ekim941
  
  That's Ok MadameX, But I won't be paying you the same respect
5/14/08

markstoneman

On Stoneman's Corner:
– tiger tooth (no idea what that led to)
– apple juice vs applesauce (I made both, so they appeared in one post, albeit without the "vs")
– unique things people have done (strange thing to google; landed them on a meme I suppose)

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5/14/08

ekim941

Now I feel left out. My most bizarre search term was "Ekim"

It's like some idiot spelled "Mike" backwards. Who would do that?

[reply]
1. 5/14/08
  
  RTBjr73
  
  ...and do it 149 times, right?
2. 5/14/08
  
  ekim941
  
  Whoa!!! That was deep
3. 5/14/08
  
  kdawg68
  
  don't feel bad - my most non-straightforward search term was "funny horse" - apparently there's a real interest in equine comedians out there. Who knew?
4. 5/14/08
  
  ekim941
  
  At Commedy Central, Funny horse is the Mane act.
  
  Ba dump shh
5/14/08

offendedblogger

My favorite one so far is "how to self torture ones testicles". It came in 2 days before Valentine's Day.

I really should write up an Offensive on the subject.

[reply]
1. 5/14/08
  
  ekim941
  
  I still think that MadameX had the best one about using super glue as birth control. My mind boggles with the possibilities.
  
  I self torture my testicles every time I wear vinyl pants.
2. 5/14/08
  
  MadameX
  
  And did you have the answer, Chelle?
  
  (ekim...I'm a little worried that you're still thinking about that. You DO know it won't really work, right?)
3. 5/14/08
  
  ekim941
  
  MadameX, I have 3 kids. From experience I can tell you that its not "Always" effective
  
  Gosh, I hope you know I am kidding.
4. 5/14/08
  
  MadameX
  
  Given that you're...you know...ALIVE...I was pretty sure you were kidding.
5. 5/14/08
  
  offendedblogger
  
  @ Tiffany No, and I have no idea how that landed the searcher on my blog. I mean, my blog is so not like that!
  
  @ekim I shall use you as a muse for my post on the subject then.
6. 5/14/08
  
  ekim941
  
  I don't think you would die from the application that I imagined.
  
  Sure, it might make me a little "Backed up"
7. 5/14/08
  
  ekim941
  
  @Chelle Muse? I was hoping for "Test Dummy"
8. 5/14/08
  
  offendedblogger
  
  Ha! OK, I will come up with a list of methods and you try them out and tell me if they work.
9. 5/14/08
  
  ekim941
  
  And from this day forth, you shall be known as the Goddess of testicular torture.
  
  You do know what I'm going to use to polish your crown.
5/14/08

Anok

I haven't gotten any fun ones this week

I did realize however, just how badly people spell.

"idnetity check"
"identety check"
"indenity check"
"check some idenity"

Hehehehe

[reply]
1. 5/14/08
  
  MadameX
  
  Creative, too. I frequently get "gorcery list" (what would you do with someone else's?), but it's always spelled the same way.
2. 5/14/08
  
  Anok
  
  Haha
  
  I just got a fun one "How much weight can a Picasso carry"
  
  What the?
3. 5/14/08
  
  aningeniousname
  
  Around 100kg I believe but he had been known to carry up to and above 150kg.
4. 5/14/08
  
  kdawg68
  
  I see you've found my searches for you!!!!
  
  Did you also see "I can has a ninja?"
5/14/08

muscles68

My tertle got ran over

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5/14/08

muscles68

im so fn sad

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5/14/08

muscles68

hes so confident now hes come out of his shell

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5/14/08

sellytapgirl

Who said holy poo
what makes a good costume for a jazz dance solo (How can google tell you this answer without knowing your song and choreography?)
Oklahomo oklahoma (I have NO idea)

[reply]
1. 5/15/08
  
  ender
  
  i'm sad now. i had to know about Oklahomo. Okla- homo. yeah, now you're getting it.
  
  although, the show reviewed by Variety here sounds kinda funny:
  www.variety.com/review/VE1117927710.html?categoryid=33&cs=1
  tinyurl.com/4pr4tf (same link, but i have the feeling that the first one won't translate correctly)
5/14/08

Donlewis

I keep getting hits for Shane Diesel. (an apparently well endowed porn star)

[reply]
1. 5/14/08
  
  aningeniousname
  
  Yeah I knew you were him in blogger disguise, the beard and your immense sexual charisma gave it away.
5/15/08

ender

some recent favourites:

broken bits of lead from mechanical pencil macbook pro
how to politically recognize hispanics
shivering, hen heat flashes. itchy and rashs?

as for spelling? oh my. some of these people need to repeat first grade. typos are one thing, but some of the things i get ....

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