User Comments

1. 

   7/28/09

   melindaville

   I read your story--and this is a sticky situation. On one hand, I feel that parents ARE responsible for the health and well being of their children--and 550 pounds is more than just a little padding: it's a dangerous health risk to be that overweight. He could easily die of a heart attack.
   
   However, at the same time, I really believe that there could be other factors, such as hormonal imbalance--or even just a genetic marker that causes this particular child to gain weight much more easily.
   
   I think locking this woman up is a terrible idea (in any case)--what this family needs is health support and training on how to shop more wisely and make better decisions, nutrition-wise.
   
   Locking people up for this? First, it clogs up our CJ system. Second, it will likely push a more hardened criminal on to the street because of jail overcrowding. And third, since she is a single mom--then who takes care of her kids? Doh--the state!
   
   So that means we are wasting money locking up a non-violent person and wasting even more money prosecutin her and taking care of her children.

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   1. 

      7/28/09

      challengeus

      I agree with you that locking up a single mom is not a solution. Steps should be taken to help this child.
   2. 

      7/28/09

      lotusb

      I know parent's who's children have digestive and metobolical disorders. It's sad, and I see them struggle to afford doctors, specialists, special training and programs to help their child maintain a healthy weight. In most of these cases, it IS possible to keep your child within a healthy weight EVEN if there are health reasosn contributing to the obesity. However, in many cases, probably even MOST; the parents simply have a hard time saying "no" and setting boundries for their children. Just as a mother should make sure her child does not go into the cabinet that houses cleaning chemicals, parents should make sure their children do not ingest too many "toxic" foods. I don't know about jail time, but she should definitely not be allowed to raise her son anymore.
2. 

   7/28/09

   timethief

   Now the question is should the mother be charged with criminal charges for neglecting her underage child? Should she be behind bars for being a bad mother and be held responsible for his morbid obesity?
   
   No. I also agree with the two who have posted before me. The jails are full of hardened criminals. The mother can learn nothing "good" there and if she goes to jail the child will end up in foster care. I believe we ought to do as much as is humanly possible to help "heal" families by teaching parents what they need to know about issues like this one. IMO this parent and child need help ASAP.

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3. 

   7/28/09

   nothingprofound

   Positively ridiculous. The Health police have to stay out of people's personal lives. Offer the mother and child all the available literature on the subject and let them make up their own minds.

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   1. 

      7/28/09

      timethief

      IMO it's long past time for taxpayers to start demanding that our tax dollars be spent in appropriate ways to provide support and access to health care for single moms and their children. Currently 1/3 of American children are being raised by single moms and the majority are living in poverty. The stats show that working women only make 68 cents on every dollar that their male counterparts make.
      
      One one hand, I consider how much money is required to incarcerate a prisoner. On the other, I speculate that only a small portion of the same amount could be used to educate mothers like this one.
      
      Obviously the best investment taxpayers can make is into the educating and training of parents and children like this boy and his mother, so he can reclaim his health and grow up to be a self-supporting worker who pays taxes.
4. 

   7/28/09

   legbamel

   On one hand, I do think it's utter foolishness to imprison someone in some misguided attempt to make them a better parent. But, on the other hand, who's going to pay for that child's medical bills for the decades that it takes him to either lose the weight and get healthy or to die of the trauma done to his body from growing up like that? There are far better options than throwing mom in prison, but it's not so easy to draw a line in the sand past which poor parenting is abuse.
   
   If the kid has a physical problem that causes the weight gain, then by the age of 14 he should already have been seen by a doctor and it should be known. And why did it take until 14 for this to come up with child services? At this point the kid is able to make his own eating choices and get counseling as necessary without mom's word being the final say-so. Where were people when the kid was morbidly obese and 8 or 9? The whole scenario stinks, if you ask me.

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5. 

   7/28/09

   FatX

   Parents are responsible for the health and well being of their children. Allowing your child to balloon up to over 500 lbs is not being a responsible parent. If the parent was grossly underfeeding their child everyone would be up in arms. It's really the same thing, the parent is not being responsible for their child's health and well being. With that being said, I believe she should be fined and forced to go to parenting classes.

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   1. 

      7/28/09

      SweetViolet

      You've never had to deal with an overweight child who is determined to thwart your every effort to encourage him to eat healthily, have you??
6. 

   7/28/09

   SweetViolet

   Unless she held him down and force fed him, the kid has some responsibility in this.
   
   Blaming his mother conveys a message to him that a)he is not responsible for his condition and therefore b)he is not responsible for fixing it.
   
   It is just too easy to dump blame on his mother and punish her...and completely pointless. It will cost a fortune and teach nothing of value to either of them. Better to spend the money on education and intervention.

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   1. 

      7/28/09

      legbamel

      That's very true, but he's learned his eating behaviors through his interaction with his mother over the course of his life. I know someone who simply gives her daughter food every time she fusses and has since the kid was born. Unsurprisingly, the child is very overweight and turns to food for comfort. Happily, the pediatrician has intervened a bit and shamed the parents into at least providing healthy food. Doc can't do much about larger issues like extensive use of varied babysitters and an over-reliance on the television, more's the pity.
   2. 

      7/28/09

      Deray28

      I agree 100% with you SV. Maybe this whole thing will have a positive effect in the kid and he will decide to change his eating habits. I do not agree with the mom being in jail, that will not help anyone. The kid will feel guilty of the situation and he might over indulge to compensate which will only aggravate the problem. The boy needs to be put in a program with the support of his mom.
   3. 

      7/28/09

      SweetViolet

      @ legbamel
      
      Not necessarily.
      
      I have three kids. Two did not have weight problems, the third did. The youngest one simply refused to accept that he had to eat differently from them and sneaked food from the cupboards and refrigerator (ultimately necessitating locks!), stole it from classmate's lunches, stole money from family members and bought treats for himself at the 7-11. He was angry that he could not eat what they did...you can't feed one child carrot sticks and the other ones cookies without engendering resentment! (And don't say I should have given them carrot sticks, too...they were thin and didn't need to be any thinner!). Food became a battleground and the weight problem was exacerbated as a result.
      
      If this kid is going to slim down to a healthy weight, the very first thing he must know is that HE is responsible for what goes in his mouth, not anyone else. It doesn't matter if his mother cooks a pot of mac and cheese for herself and/or others in the house, HE has to acknowledge he chooses what goes into his mouth and he has to choose something else to eat. He will never lose an ounce if he believes that someone other than himself is responsible for his problem.
      
      Unless you have had a child with a weight problem who refuses to cooperate in achieving and maintaining a healthy weight, you have no idea the lengths and depths they will go to in order to get what they want and thwart your efforts. I have been there and I know.