User Comments

1. 

   6/25/07

   crazedmama

   Well, for one thing, most women are catty anyway, that's why I prefer male friends over female friends, LOL. And when it comes to mother hood, a lot of women think that their way is the only way and if you don't do things the way they think you should then they will bash you for it. It's due to their own insecurities, really. You would THINK that being a mother would make women calm down a little bit and want to help each other but that's usually not the case unfortunately!
   
   rantsinmypants2007.blogspot.com/

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2. 

   6/25/07

   Pregnantexec

   Yes, I find the lack of compassion, empathy and desire for understanding stunning in this community. Do you think it has anything to do with postpartum depression?

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3. 

   6/25/07

   bnsullivan

   There was a time in my life when I preferred my male friends, too, for the reasons you both note. No more. At this point in my life my women friends are the real treasures -- particularly the small handful I've known for decades. There's a certain "nobody knows what we know" quality about our friendships. My advice, pick out just a few women friends that you DO get along with, and do whatever you can to nurture those relationships. As for the rest -- the catty and judgmental ones -- who needs 'em. Don't waste your time or attention on them.

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4. 

   6/25/07

   BellaVida

   I agree with you and it makes me sad that women cannot bond together not only on the topic of motherhood but on all important issues.
   
   I had a group of women friends that I'd known for many years but that deteriorated when they started critizing each other maliciously behind each others backs. It became a competition of who is better than whom. There was no kind of loyalty even though we had known each other for so many years. It's really sad. So I avoid all of them now because I feel like I have so much to do in this precious lifetime I refuse waste time with negativity.
   
   No postpartum has nothing to do with it. In this society women are trained to compete against each other. It makes us easier to control. Look at the useless programming on the big networks and the magazines.
   
   The best advise I could offer is to meditate on what will make you feel happiest and follow your insticts. No one ever told me what a spectacular event motherhood would be. Not that its easy but I have found many treasures in this experience.
   
   Right now I am facing all of the issues that come with going back to work after being at home. My feelings are all over the place as you can imagine. And we all know that each side has plenty of negatives for the other but the reality is that we need to find balance.
   
   It would be easier if there were more support. We need to demand it for the benefit of our future society. It's great that you are speaking out. Maybe you can shine light on the obsurdity of this behavior.

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5. 

   6/25/07

   Pregnantexec

   Thank you for the compliment BellaVida. I empathize with the emotional and logistical challenges you may face by returning to work. However, I am a huge believer in the emotional and material benefits that woman are able to receive from work both in the short and long term. A great quote that I read in Leslie Benetts' book, The Feminine Mistake...full time motherhood is a temp job. That may not help but I found wisdom in it.
   
   At our women's resource group expectingexecutive.com we are trying to offer women more support. We are a nationwide group of professionals who have networked together to provide unbiased support to mothers. Right now we are working on integrating the resource service into alumni benefit for women college graduates. I am convinced that if we think childcare and working are a challenge...wait until eldercare really becomes a critical nationwide concern for women.

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6. 

   6/25/07

   Pregnantexec

   momsquawk.wordpress.com/2007/06/22/bad-ideas-breast-milk-or-death-and-censo...
   
   Another example of just not being kind. Sigh

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   1. 

      6/25/07

      healthiacynthia

      Yay for the support! I agree with the statement that when you pit women against each other we are easier to control... divide and conquor ethos... and you know where that comes from! Left to our own devices, with lots of empathy and other support, women wouldn't be competitive and wouldn't make war, or that is what I like to believe. But, that said, I'm really impressed by the young parents of today (gotta include the men in here too) who I know well. For every nasty little number there is probably someone you maybe haven't met who is kind, compassionate, and eager to pass along the size 2 Gap dress that her little Emily just grew out of... And what about us grannies? Do we have a role to play with supporting young women? I'm curious to hear what younger women think of us oldies...
      
      Keep the faith!
      
      grannyxpress.healthiacynthia.com
7. 

   6/25/07

   Pregnantexec

   I just love interesting conversation! Yes, when we work together we get much more accomplished. What is the great quote...we are the sum of our parts!?!?!
   
   Ah, Grandmothers...I have met some divine and some not so helpful. For me...I always appreciate any honest advice prior generations offer!
   
   Thanks for the website...I will be visiting!
   
   blogspot.expectingexecutive.com

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8. 

   7/14/07

   goodnews

   I believe the equality of gender that we so celebrate has some side effects which include women adopting some maleness traits...

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