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My Dogs Are Filthy Rotten Bread Thieves!
Posted by gtally • 5/08/09 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: bread, Dogs, pets, thieves
My male brindle boxer is a notorious counter surfer. He gets up on his front paws and cranes his giraffe-like neck to grab unsuspecting human food, even when it is shoved to the very back of the counter. His reach and range are to be admired. Yesterday I caught the boxer and his accomplice, the pug, red handed -- er, I mean red pawed -- stealing a bag of bagels to be snuck outside and consumed clandestinely. Further investigations of the backyard revealed quite an an elaborate crime scene -- bread bags, bagel bags, hamburger and hot dog bun bags were strewn everywhere. This had been going on for quite some time. The culprits are in dog jail right now, awaiting trail. So, my question is, how should I punish them? And what rotten things have your pets done at your home?
User Comments
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Whoa! You did not mention two healthy, well fed dogs in the "Eat your Pet" thread.-
Stuffed with bread, no less. So you could get a lot of meat off of them. And it's three dogs, actually. But the other boxer, she is too sweet to consume.
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You have three dogs and didn't mention any of them? You made us believe you only had that fancy rat.
What else are you hiding? (o_O) -
Oooh, pre-stuffed. This didn't happen to be some sort of fabulous sage and onion bread, did it? -
Nawww. Not true. I've mentioned them in past threads. You just weren't paying attention to all the clues in Da Gtally Code.
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You're full of secrets. So you have a boxer and pug and a what? Oh, I see, another boxer.
I love boxers. Smart dogs. -
Another boxer. I mean, sheesh, ST. First you didn't know I was a dude, and then all the ginger stuff! Are you trying to eat my pets?
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Oh, chill. You are just constantly upsetting my baseless assumptions.
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But you did not deny the pet consumption. I think I need to build a higher fence...
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In the pecking order of things, I do love my rat better than the pug. The pug is a menace who tries to eat Pip, pees on things and eats Kleenex right out of the trash. Still trying to figure out what he's good for -- seems to be more decorative than functional.
What do the Modernists say -- "Less pug is more?" -
They also said "God is in the pug"
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Who said that, "Mies van der Pug?"
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How do you know who Mies Van De Pug is? Actually, I believe it was Louis "Pug" Sullivan.
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Wouldn't that be the Pugrie school of architecture?
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What about Frank Pug Wright, subject of Pug Rand's the "Pugenhead?"
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Start bagging their dog poo in bread bags and leave it on the counter.
[sorry... that's just so nasty]-
Who says I'm not already doing this?
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Oh, yuck.
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For some reason, my lab doesn't bother food on the counter. Food on the table, however, is considered free game. At this point, we blame ourselves for being foolish enough to leave any on the table unanttended rather than getting angry with him. Generally, it's a bread product of some sort, in fact, left out after a meal. We find the wrappers on the dog bed in the living room in the morning. Subtle they are not.
The worst incident was actually when they pulled a pot off of the stove (thankfully, it wasn't on at the time) while we had stepped outside after dinner. The leftovers were toast, of course, and they'd badly dented a brand new, very expensive wedding present. They've not done that since, but I don't know what it was about the screaming and carrying on that convinced them it was a bad idea. [shrugs]-
legbamel -- why were you storing wedding gifts directly beneath your stove?
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No, the pot was a very expensive one that we'd received as a wedding present only a few weeks before. Who'd have thought a puppy could jump up and grab that little handle so effectively? Smart*ss.
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No seriously, I thought it was a wedding present you were giving to someone else! I couldn't figure out why you had a wrapped present in your kitchen.
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Oh. Well, in that case pretend that my answer was:
I was bringing the dish to a pot luck to be held after the wedding. I had merely set the silver punch bowl down in front of the stove where the remains of the dish that didn't fit into the chafing dish were resting until I returned from loading the car.
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My college roommate had a cat who would brazenly jump up on the counter and steal food. One time, we had a turkey carcass leftover from a party. She knocked it off the counter, to the floor where she was chowing down, hissing and growling at anyone who came near her.
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legbamel -- I bet your dogs didn't feel sorry; they felt caught. That's how mine are.
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The pot incident was very loud and brought immediate response. I suspect that was the reason it was not repeated. Apparently swiping half a loaf of bread off the kitchen table and chowing down doesn't make enough noise to wake up the people.
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I thought all the animals at the Bates motel were stuffed?
Mother wouldn't approve of live animals.-
You're right, donkeh. Care for a shower?
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What and have you come in half way through dressed as old Mrs gtally and brandishing a sharpened baguette you have taken off the dogs....errrrrrr no thanks.
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I had figured him for the bludgeoning type...
what a way to go--bludgeoned with a lawn gnome! -
That's premeditated gnomocide.
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"Oh my God, Mother, aardvark blood!"
Gnooooome! -
or bludgeoning with Truck Nutz...
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That's testicular homicide.
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ah, well put
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Mother wouldn't approve of your nasty talk...would you, Mother?
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my pit bull used to do this, I am a mean one I suppose... I took the bread and snacks out of the containers, sprayed bitter apple no chew spay all over the bags and boxes, then replaced the food in saran wrap. He tried once more to chow down on some captain crunch but once he tasted the box he gave up on his search and destroy mission.... though he did just recently eat every single pair of shoes I own.... luckily I am a purse girl otherwise I would have been heartbroken-
My males boxer is a notorious garbage hound. He came from a Boxer rescue program and spent the first year of his life being horribly abused by a previous owner. So he is never quite convinced he'll get that next meal.
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Same with my pit bull, he was a bait dog, but apparently has fully recovered and now thinks he is the man of the house. He came from Pity 4 Us Pit Bull Rescue in Charlotte
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I agree. Everyone should rescue a dog, if the opportunity arises.
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if I catch Yoda drinking my coffee again it'll be time for a cat rescue..
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My dog never ate from the kitchen counters or under the table. She couldn't stand the feel of tile under her paws. It stared the beans out of her.
The squirrels in the yard are another story...-
That's hilarious. Your dog is a neurotic.
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squirrels around here are quite evil..... they rip open my trash and try to get in my car
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[Pictures a pile of squirrels trying to hotwire a car]
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@stillthinking
She was a husky, and the moment her paws got on anything tile, she would run her legs twice as fast and slip and slide all over the place.
... it was funny... and neurotic.
But man, those squirrels and chipmunks outside couldn't stand a chance. She would play with them. She could even listen to them tunneling in the snow and pounce to catch them.
Maybe she was part cat?? -
My pug will hop on the dining room table and eat right off my plate. So my chairs always have to be pushed in. I've lost many a burrito to the pug.
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@legbamel- The secret is to have the windows cracked and corn nuts on the passenger seat....
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Why? Do you want them to steal your car?! Imagine the havoc joy-riding squirrels could wreak on an unsuspecting town. [shakes head]
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I started and finished this while on hold and am still sitting here on hold.
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Floormodel -- Excellent! You've outdone yourself with these bad boy rebel squirrels.
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nope, no credit to me. I only changed words.
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Well, there are a lot of nuts at BC.
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my cats don't care to hop all the way up on the counter. My dog did and I actually miss it. She was my buddy, I miss her a lot.
My cats, however, are caffine addicts. It wasn't until I moved her that I caught them (seperate times) calmly lapping up coffee out of my mug. Ew!
I now use a lidded mug.-
So you have gone decattinated.
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My cat stays away from my counters and table. I think her previous family (who left her at the humane society where she sat in a cage for 3 months) taught her to stay away from furniture.
When I brought her home, she wouldn't sit on the sofa with me or sleep in the bed until I physically picked her up and placed her on the furniture. Then, she was fine. Sits on the sofa, climbs into bed. She stays away from tables and counters though. -
@anin...
@ Stillthinking.. we took these two cats because their owners didn't want kittens and were going to give them to anyone who read their "free kittens" signs. We'd jjust lost our 13 year old cat to old age and his younger brother to a semi so we figure a new kitten would be okay. Somehow we ended up with two. -
2 is better anyway, they keep each other company.
By the way, STAR TREK was CRAZY AWESOMELY GOOD!!!! I was on a geek high last night. -
I would really hate to see a cat hopped up on coffee. Wait! Don't they call that Kopi Luwak?
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beats weasel coffee. but the only digestive tract my coffee goes through before mine is Mr Coffee's.
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Dogs just tried to steal a bag of hot dog buns. They have not learned their lessons!
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And now the fancy rat's gotten into a bag of marshmallows. My zoo is being very unruly tonight!
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Have you considered feeding the rat to the dogs?-
He's full of marshmallows, so he's probably pretty sweet right now. How do you recommend I prepare him?
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Update: The dogs, after having been penned up all day, are being unusually good tonight. No bread-napping thus far. But I do have my eye on the pug...
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