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My hat goes off to parents of a young family
Posted by Hels • 10/09/09 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: children, families
When my children were young, I always felt in demand.. needed around the clock. Even having a quiet bath to myself was a rare luxury.
Now I look after the grandchildren twice a week and love it - all pleasure and no fuss.
If you are the parent of young children, are you often tired? Were you prepared for the amount of energy that would be required? If you are a young parent, I want to extend all the credit to you, for coping with the world's most important job.
User Comments
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I was raised in a very large family in a semi-remote location. As I was the eldest child and my father worked away from home I didn't have much of a childhood in the carefree no responsibilities play all day long sense of what that word means today. I was already responsible for helping feed, bathe and clothe the younger ones when I was 5 years old. As we lived in the country I also had farm chores to do.
By the time my city friends were married and having kids and whining about how hard it was to raise them, my husband and I were still raising the youngest kids of the 7 in his family and 9 in mine. We rolled our eyes and plodded on working and supporting them until the last sibling graduated from highschool.
We love kids but had absolutely no intention of having any of our own. We agreed to remain childfree. We stuck to that and have never regretted it. However, we also were foster parents to 5 more kids who needed a decent home and upbringing.
Being a parent is a difficult job but let's NOT forget that it's been a matter of choice now for over 40 years. No one is compelled create little images of themselves, and this planet sure doesn't benefit from human population explosion. So when I hear those who chose to parent crying the blues I hear the world's smallest violin playing for them in the background. Kids are a joy and no matter how hard it is the opportunity to parent over-rides the difficulties. -
timethief that was a tough childhood, but I suppose not so unusual at a time when families were very large.
My dad was one of 6 children, one girl followed by five boys in rapid succession. Guess who shared the child rearing responsibilities? -
My children were definately a choice I made - however a divorce wasn't part of the plan. We don't have control over all of the outcomes that become part of our journey - nevertheless I still choose the glass half full - the grass ain't gonna be any greener anywhere else - I just concentrate on watering my own with love, patience and the counting of blessings! -
Thanks for honoring the time and effort it takes to parent well.
I think there are trade-offs, though. The benefits of raising my little clan far outweigh any sense of burden (or exhaustion!) I may feel from day to day. There is an enormous bond of love between most parents and children that makes the effort of raising them worthwhile. So, while my wrinkles and grey hairs may be coming fast and furious now, they'll have stories behind them that are worth the telling. (I'm hoping I can look back at this time and remember everything!)-
MidwestMom,
you will remember the stories, but they will be edited. Thankfully.
Everyone will remember when the children made their own cakes, and ended up with more flour on each other's heads than in the bowl. They will remember eating pies at the football match and getting soaked in the rain. They will remember the holidays in the squashy family caravan and extension tent. They will remember that EVERY birthday, their aunt Dorothy gave them t-shirts that never quite fitted and whose colours were awful. And Rudy the dog who ran on the beach every night and tried to surf. My children love talking about climbing the fig tree, trying to reach the ripe figs before the birds got them.
Noone will remember the tough stuff.
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I have three kids, a teenage son, a daughter in third grade, and a preschooler. I have to admit, my kids are so far considered "good kids" (knock on wood). When we had our son, we were new parents and of course, things were more disorganized and hectic most of the time. When our second child arrived, we already had some parenting skills and mastered some tricks to keep things in order. By the time the third one came along, we're more at ease, more comfortable with our judgement and rules we set. As for time, it sure zaps by everyday. It just seems like there's not enough time to complete a simple task in a short period of time from all the distractions from the kids but I love it and I enjoy being a dad. -
Thanks for the recognition, Hels. Yeah, I'm exhausted but, boy is it worth every minute! -
I have a Theory of Parental Decision-Making.
The first baby is called "The Experimental Child". The parents are full of love and lust for each other, and are convinced they can raise the most perfect child known in human history. They read every child rearing book they can lay hands on. The new grandparents are beside themselves with excitement
The second baby, born 20-24 months later, is the "They Will Be Great Mates" child. The parents still have the the first baby's cot, jump suits, carry basket and baby walking frame, so the second baby doesn't any need set-up costs. And in any case, the two children will be each other's best friend.
The third baby is the "Hey Honey, Wouldn't It Be Lovely To Have Another Little One Around The House Again" child. The first two children are already busy at school and kindergarten, and after two sons, wouldn't it be just gorgeous to have a daughter at last. Anyhow, as KN noted, the parents are more at ease, more comfortable with the judgement and rules they set.
The same two parents, the same house, the same meals.. yet each child is unique.
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