User Comments

1. 

   7/06/09

   nultygoestopartick

   Have you heard about the new 'Mint flavored birth control pill taken before sex
   They're called 'Predickamints'

   [reply]
   1. 

      7/08/09

      nultygoestopartick

      There was a Russian prostitute called Polo..........she made a mint out of her hole.
2. 

   7/06/09

   jerrodmcjunkin

   Little April was not the best student in Sunday school.
   Usually she slept through the class.
   
   One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?"
   
   When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep.
   
   A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. 'JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep.
   
   Then the teacher asked April a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!"
   
   The Teacher fainted.

   [reply]
   1. 

      7/06/09

      nultygoestopartick

      Nice one
3. 

   7/06/09

   GrimlyFiendish

   Paddy's missus went and had a tattoo of a shellfish done on the inside of her thigh.
   
   Paddy thought it was f**king great as every time he put his ear against it he could smell the sea.

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   1. 

      7/06/09

      nultygoestopartick

      That's a good one. Might stick that on my blog
4. 

   7/06/09

   GrimlyFiendish

   From Jimmy Carr
   
   I went to see the nurse this morning for my annual check-up.
   She said I had to stop w#nking.
   When I asked why she said, "Because I'm trying to examine you!"
   
   I just saw that Harry Potter film. A bit unrealistic if you ask me. I mean, a ginger kid, with two friends?
   
   I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pick pocketed.
   How could anyone stoop so low?

   [reply]
   1. 

      7/06/09

      nultygoestopartick

      Not bad.
      Did you hear about the deformed dwarf?
      he was seven foot six
5. 

   7/15/09

   jerrodmcjunkin

   A young man goes into a pharmacy
   
   A young man goes into a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist
   "Hello, could you give me condom. I'm going to my girlfriend's place for dinner and I think I may be in with a chance!"
   
   The pharmacist gives him the condom and the young man leaves.
   He soon returns and says,
   "Give me another condom because my girlfriend's sister is very cute
   too. She always crosses her legs in a provocative manner when she sees me and I think I might strike it lucky there too."
   
   The pharmacist gives him a second condom and as the boy is leaving he turns back and says,
   "Go on, give me one more condom because my girlfriend's mum is still
   pretty cute and when she sees me she always makes eyes, and since she invited me for dinner, think she is expecting me to make a move!
   -
   -
   -
   During dinner, the young man is sitting with his girlfriend on his left, the sister on his right and the mum facing him.
   
   When the dad gets there, the boy lowers his head and starts praying,
   "Dear Lord, bless this dinner and thank you for all you give us."
   
   A minute later the boy is still praying;
   "Thank you Lord for your kindness."
   
   Ten minutes go by and the boy is still
   praying, keeping his head down.
   
   The others look at each other surprised and his girlfriend is even more surprised than the others.
   She gets close to the boy and says in his ear, "I didn't know you were so religious."
   
   The boy replies, "I didn't know your dad is the pharmacist!

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