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Now I know you've all done this before
Posted by Anok • 10/11/08 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: boobytraps
It's the middle of the night - you wake, parched, sniffly, whatever. You traverse through hallways and around furniture expertly, in the dark just to get to that glorious refrigerator with the tiny light that won't wake anyone up, and has your favorite juice, waiting to be gulped down when....
OUCH! Booby traps! You've stepped on/tripped, slipped in something!
Tonight, it was cat vomit. Last night, I stepped on a very small, very hard wooden bead.
That really freaking hurt.
And you? What's the worst you've done to yourself in your midnight travels?
User Comments
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Other than hitting my toes on the edge of some furniture (or the brick that acts as a bed leg), I can't remember anything bad.-
Oh, like stubbing your toe on the stupid chair legs that kick out just enough to trip you up, even though they're pushed all the way in?
I hate that! -
Just enough to have me rubbing my toes afterwards.
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Do you swear and yell at the inanimate object like I do?
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Oh, yes. Well, I either mouth the words or say them in my head (there are people sleeeeeeeping).
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I clearly recall the night that I walked face first into a closed bathroom door and screamed: "who the frack shuts and bathroom door at night?".
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I've done that too! Of course, I had a team of devious cats who closed doors and opened drawers and things so I would step on toys, run smack into hutch drawers and cabinet doors.
LMAO! -
"frack"?
cut out the nerd swearing, timethief.... -
@drjay
I think she's still giddy about a new BC feature. She's rambunctious this evening. -
Imagine that after getting that thwack on the head you opened the bathroom door and went inside in the dark and sat on a closed toilet set lid. I ask you: "Who the frack closes the toilet seat at night?" (I hate having sleep over company.)
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I like to turn on the lights when I go to the bathroom. This helps you to avoid mishaps like sitting on a closed toilet lid.
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Other than the time I tripped with an extension cord that pulled a fan and a fat book with it my nightly excursions are an ewample of stealth.
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Well it's important to have ewamples of stealth, and not examples of swealth. Swealth is nasty stuff.
Which reminds me of the night my brother set me up....he had bought one of the light, singing Christmas trees. You know the kind I'm talking about? With the moving eyes and animitronic mouth and flashing lights on a motion sensor?
Well, the little bastard decided he would leave it in my house, and had it aaaaall set up and turned on, and left it there. For me to find in the middle of the night, as I was coming home from a night out.
Needless to say I walked into my home, headed for the light switch when this obnoxiously bright and gaudy Christmas tree LIGHTS up! And starts spewing Christmas carols at maximum volume at me.
I screamed. Like a girl. (Then I swore a lot because I could smell my brother's hand in that mess a mile away!) -
Long live the Ewamples!
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Not such a big deal these days, but in earlier times Lego was one of the most lethal obstacles.
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Ohhhh and those stupid little wooden blocks. It is now a requirement that all toys of that nature are to be picked up before bed time.
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Argh legos! *shakes fist into the air*
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I don't recall anything that sticks out - although when I was younger, my father woke up in the middle of the night and I woke up after hearing him in the hallway. I walked out there and asked if he was okay. He kind of laughed and went to bed.
He told me what happened the next morning. My mother used to rearrange the furniture so often that the usual pattern he took to the bathroom was actually to the hallway. I caught him in time. LOL.-
hahahahaha
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I actually walked into my father just outside my door one night. He had just come up the stairs and I, half-asleep though I was, apparently made no noise whatsoever when I opened the door. I walked right into him. It's amazing neither or us fell down the stairs, much less suffered heart failure. It's a good thing I was on my way to the bathroom already.
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After living in the woods while hiking the Appalachian Trail for five months, I wandered out of my bed in the middle of the night and *almost* took a leak on the floor before I woke up enough to realize I wasn't in the woods.
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Dad?
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LOL!
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I'm less exciting. I sleep like a log all night long. No getting up in the middle of the night.-
You're like my husband. I'll bet you do get up once in a while, but don't realize or remember it.
The Mr will jolt out of bed, go flying down the stairs, hit the fridge, down the juice (or whatever) look at me all bug eyed, and then run all the way back upstairs. leaping and bouncing off walls as he goes...
The he tells me all kinds of interesting things before falling back asleep. Like, how we shouldn't have ferrets because they steal your keys
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ah! cat vomit, one of my favorite bands from when i was into punk rock. those guys were amazing.
seriously though, what was the question?-
Eew, or, yay? I suppose cat vomit is a good punk name after all
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Well, it wasn't cat vomit, but a cat's hairball. I didn't see it and stepped right in it...gross!-
Oh oh gross!
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Does falling into a machine gun pit on the way to the latrine from the tent count?-
Yes.
Did you manage to get out of the pit without help, though?
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whiffle ball bat. Took a step on it and tried to balance. The ensuing wipeout was most embarrassing.-
Which immediately makes me think of the Beastie boys.
I did like this, I did like that, I did with a whiffle ball bat sooo....
(I'm on the run the - oh, sorry )
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I was playing with my swords once and one fell right between two of my toes.
Relevance? It was 2:30 am.-
No swordfighting after bedtime. Sheesh, didn't your mother ever teach you that?
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Earthquake this past spring woke me in the middle of the night. I jumped up and was about to go out into the hallway of the apartment building I was in to check if it had really happened, then remembered that I was not clothed, turned back inside to make some phone calls or get online and bumped my hip into the breakfast bar in the kitchen. Hurt really bad, and then I noticed that some things on there had moved and that we HAD had a quake. But still got online to find out the magnitude.-
Wow - that must be scary.
Note to self, when living in places with earthquakes, don't sleep nude....
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I've found that a human shin is a wonderful instrument for finding furniture in the dark.-
Jack, You are so right. However, I used to ram my knees into my metal desk at work. My oh my, I felt I had cracked them a few times. A few months ago I walked my poor knee right into the pipe which was protruding from the rough-in pipe, in our basement. I cried over that one. -
Yes, it's true. They are like magnets.
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Once I was working all night (well, maybe not actually working - but online blogging, surfing, watching movies, whatever) and went downstairs for coffee, but pot was empty. It was about 3:00am and my wife was due to wakeup at 5am. Dogs heard me and started barking, and I didn't want them to make so much noise, so I grabbed my car keys and the dogs and headed out to Tim Hortons for coffee and TimBits. I came back - then broke my house key in the door. I went back to my car and figured I would just wait until my wife woke up, but ended up falling asleep listening to music in my car. When my wife left for work around 6:30am .. she said .. "Oh - there you are ... I wondered where the dogs were"-
Wait, she was more concerned about the dogs than you? Oh you poor thing!
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Sound like you should sleep in your boots and carry a tiny flashlight. I am laughing out loud. I have done the same thing and it is cold and disgusting. I am wiping my eyes now. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
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Now, now...I've done that before. The problem, though, is that boots tend to get your feet tangled in the blankets, created a whole new set of problems....
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We've adopted "toe radar" around here, which generally involved never lifting your feet more than an inch off of the floor and scanning ahead with the tips of your toes for obstacles, small but evil toys, and pet messes. That's highly useful, but leads to overconfidence and badly bruised ankles, shins, and knees when furniture and doors protrude beyond the calculated area. Errr, not that I have ever seriously hurt myself on a doorknob, of course.
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This si good advice, perhaps a combo of toe radar and hand sweeps would be best.
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I have a tall metal shoe rack behind my bedroom door, out of the way...
Out of the way unless a very sleepy me thinks she's opening the door, but in fact flings the shoerack-- which toppled over on ME giving me one heckuva bruise.
Not pretty.-
OUCH who many shoes you got there, anyway?
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I was sleep walking and walked into a glass sliding door.
It didn't break. my friends parents sent me back to bed.... but I stubbed my toe something fierce.-
You know, sleep walking can be so dangerous, seriously. I had a friend fall from a third story window while sleepwalking. (He has had to walk with a cane ever since).
He went right through the screen, I guess. -
We were at a lake house so who knows what would have happened if I got outside.
I can't say that I have done that more than once. I honestly don't know. However I have entire conversations with people in my sleep.
It kind of freaks me out a bit knowing I can't control stuff like that.
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It's a well know fact that men traverse the dark with both hands protecting the only body part that matters. I'll take a coffee table to the shins any day but I have to protect my giblets.
I have found the plug for the vacuum cleaner is very pleasurable to step on -
walked right into the TV! bang! damn! ouch! no more tv
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Triangle shaped HARD dog food on the kitchen floor. -
Houses in South Africa tend to have lever-type door handles as opposed to door knobs. The ones in my house are located at just the right height for fluttery nightgown or bathrobe sleeves to hook them. I have finally retired said nightgowns and bathrobe after being attacked repeatedly by the bedroom and bathroom doors in the dead of night.
And I can tell when it is time for our semi-annual spraying by the "bug guy"...the unmistakable and totally gross "crunch" of kakkalakka (cockroaches as long as your thumb) underfoot---bare feet, of course---in the wee hours of the morning. I have taken to keeping a bottle of water next to the bed so I don't have to go to the kitchen at night...
The escaped pistachio shell that got me the other night was no fun, either. -
Sitting on the toilet lid in the pitch dark. Yuck - and COLD. Legos really hurt when you step on them, too.-
My DH is well trained and the lid is always down in our house. Unless we have visitors, that is. So the "dark of night" habit is to lift the lid before you sit...and you get a pretty cold shock when the "lid" you have lifted is the seat you wanted to sit on!
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