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Once A Cheater, Always A Cheater?
Posted by deoangel • 2/26/09 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: cheater, family, friends, love, relationship, relationships, trust
Can love exist without trust and vice versa? Can you stay in love with someone you cannot trust? Have you ever been cheated on or lie to but found a way to salvage your relationship? How important is trust to you?
Check out my blog post and tell me what you think.
www.blogcatalog.com/user/deoangel
User Comments
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Can love exist without trust and vice versa?
No, not possible. I learned that the hard way.
Can you stay in love with someone you cannot trust?
Thought I could. Turned out to be the biggest mistake I ever made.
Have you ever been cheated on or lie to but found a way to salvage your relationship?
Found a way? No, but I spent 4 years thinking it was possible. That only led to sleepless nights, throwing up everything I ate for a year, and an assurance of many years of psychiatric bills to come.
That bitch cheated on me from the start, karma came back and bit her in the ass because she's a deadbeat single mom now living like a dirtbag and can't get a date anymore. It's safe to say I dodged a bullet there.
How important is trust to you?
On the top list. One of the others is moderation, too much of a good thing is anything but
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We definitely have something in common...lol. In this case it is unfortunately. I was cheated on for 5 years straight and knew about for a year. I was just so weak-minded to leave. You can never get that trust back gain.
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"Once a cheater, always a cheater?"
Yah, pretty much. A lot of people might think that is harsh, but the truth is, if someone's personal ethical code is such that cheating is an acceptable behaviour under "certain" circumstances, then the potential is there for it to happen over and over again.
Yes, I know there are people who have cheated once and never did it again, but that does not matter. It isn't how many times a person has cheated or how many opportunities s/he has passed up. What matters is whether or not the person's personal set of ethics gives cheating a pass...if s/he believes there are acceptable excuses for it.
Some people will cheat if the opportunity presents itself...like being out of town on a business trip. Others view cheating as an acceptable response to something missing in their relationship: spouse is not supplying enough attention, intimacy, sex, etc. There are those who view cheating as an acceptable means of retaliation or punishment: the spouse cheated, so s/he cheats in vengeance, the wife said "no" so he says "fine, I'll get it elsewhere." And then there are those who succumb to lust, mistake it for love, and think "but I love him" makes it ok, even if other people don't concur.
What all these have in common is a person who includes cheating as an acceptable or at least excusable part of their ethics. And as long as that remains, it is likely they will cheat when the conditions allowed by their ethical system come about. -
here we go again lolz... -
@deoangel....If someone comes to understanding that when they cheat trust is lost and damage is done, once the person who is doing the cheating really comes to full understanding of what they are doing and really wants to change their direction for the better, I do believe they will no longer feel the desire to cheat. -
We have to accept cheating is part of life. That is where we survive.-
These questions can be for men as well. THIS IS NOT A MEN BASHING SESSION. I love my men...lol. I just want to put that out there.
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The truth of the matter is...everyone is going to hurt you. It's up to you to figure out if they're worth the pain.
This writer has no actual opinion on cheating (just to avoid an argument)-
Not only do you have an opinion on cheating -- you cheat. I can tell by the way you phrased your response and the shape of your head. Deo --- get'em
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I did not 100% agree with the title, seems like we simply judge people from their past behavior, there maybe lots of hidden reasons for someone cheating somebody, maybe.. been forced, maybe the situation who give them no choice, etc. But I do agree on a thing, a (real) cheater should never ever been tolerated. -
Well if you're married to a cheater --- try counseling, working it out, do something. If your not married to the cheater --- run like the wind, do not look back, past go, full steam ahead.
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It's possible that a cheater can change only if you help him/her. -
People can change. It starts with a whole lotta "want to" though...they have to want to change. That's where the problem lies. -
i still do believe that once a cheater is always a cheated
We're into 9 months relationship with my boyfriend and in that months, he had cheated me not just once, it was thrice as far as i knew, not included the girls i have not known..
well trust is a big thing...-
yeah once a cheater always a cheater they just change their ways so they will not get caught again. say they don't do it even swear by their life that they no longer do it. but when given the opportunity they will do it again and this time they know well now how to keep their secrets hidden.
trust is so hard to regain after discovery that you have been cheated not once, not twice but many many many times! the pain the cheating caused you and all the love you gave the trust the faith in everything good shattered to pieces.
you forgive but not forget, at the back of your mind you are always worried, you now believe your guts more because they were true looking back to the time the cheating happened what happened when and why and how. when same situation happens you just can't help but wonder yeah the trust is gone, can it be regained? I don't know.
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