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Submit Your Silly, Juvenile Jokes
Posted by TheLogisitician • 2/01/09 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: church jokes, clean jokes, jokes for kids, kids tell jokes to letterman, silly juvenile jokes
My blog is generally pretty serious in its discussion of various societal issues. However, I happen to love silly, juvenile jokes which can be shared with elementary school kids. My regular readers have not provided any and so I'm reaching out to you folks. Submit your juvenile jokes!
theviewfromoutsidemytinywindow.blogspot.com/2009/02/post-no-80-logisticians...
User Comments
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What do dogs like to eat for breakfast? Woofles
What do get get when a piano crashes down the mine shaft? A flat miner.
What can you catch but not throw? A cold.
What can you throw but not catch? A party.
Why did Tarzan paint his toenails red? To hide in a cherry tree.
What do cows do for fun? Listen to moo-sic.
If a red house is red and a blue house is blue, what color is a green house? It's clear because it's made of glass.
Juvenille enough for you?-
"What do cows do for fun? Listen to moo-sic" Hilarious. -
How fast can your daughter ask of these questions?
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Great busylizzy, loved them. Thanks.
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Knock knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock knock.
WHO'S THERE?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
You don't have to cry about it.
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Thank you Anok for a great couple of jokes. Knock knocks have a certain cadence to them which make them fun.
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The last one is funny, the first one was too long for me to read right now
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Ophase: It IS amazing the way that kids can reel these off like they are coming off the assembly line. I love to see the Letterman show when the kids tell the jokes.
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This joke is for nerds only
Two Atoms walking down the street.
First atom says " I just lost an electron"
Second atom says" Are you sure"
First atom says " I'm Positive"-
Having been trained as an engineer, I really appreciate this one.
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two 12 year old just got the electron joke!
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Hahahah!
I have to call my father and tell him that one -
Bwah ha ha! Good one!
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How come you dont see an elephant hiding behind a flower?
That's because he hides well. -
Why don't anteaters get sick?
Because they're full of anty-bodies.-
now thats just geeky
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hahaha i knewwww youde like it.My biology loving wifey.
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oh crap, I probably shouldn't have responded and gave my geeky-ness away LOL
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This is fun. My former girlfriend used to write down jokes in her Daytimer. She'd love these.
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Knock Knock
Who's There?
Interrupting Cow.
Interrupting C..
MOOOOOO!!!!-
Still laughing.
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Sensico: Chk out the long one when you have time. It is actually a collection of individual jokes.
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The Tarzan painting his toenails one is part of a series of jokes that slowly delve into more adult humor...
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Ah, hah. Sharp, going off on a different level.
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Why did piglet look in the toilet?
He was trying to find Pooh-
you made me giggle...
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That's priceless.
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this one is not just for kids
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A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. The next week the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 5.00 am for an early morning business flight to Chicago. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he finally wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5.00 am."
The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9.00am, and that he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't woken him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed ... it said... "It is 5.00am; wake up."-
I am still laughing. That's so good. Thanks.
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there are two muffins in the oven, one muffin, in a cute high says, "boy it's hot in here!" The other muffin exclaims, "WOAH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"-
Talking muffins. My kind of joke. Let's see how many of these we can generate.
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A chicken asks his mother:
"IS it true that the stork gave me to you?"
"Yes," sais the hen, "Just don't tell your father!"-
Good. Thanks.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
D'waine
D'waine who?
D'waine the tub I'm drowning!!
and from my 7 year old:
What do you call the center of a jellyfish?
A jellybutton (bellybutton...ha ha, get it?)
from the 6 year old:
How does a cow find his way home?
He follows the Milky Way-
Contributions from kids are generally pretty funny. I saw Conan O'Brien interviewed on Inside the Actors Studio on Bravo, and he indicated that he discovered long ago that what made 2 or 3 year olds laugh, made adults laugh also.
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What do Koala Bears wear on their feet?
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Gum boots -
This can't be the end of this thread. One contributor asks their kids for jokes on our blog, and came up with some of the best jokes.
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A cop stopped a drunk at about dawn.
The cop asked, "Can you explain why you're out at this hour?"
"If I could," the drunk said, "I'd be home by now!"
A guy walks into a bar and sees a dog lying in the corner licking his balls. He turns to the bartender and says, "Boy, I wish I could do that."
The Bartender replies, "You'd better try petting him first."
There is this blond going to Disney World.
She sees a sign that says, "Disney World left".
She turns around and goes home.-
Oh man, Syawal, you definitely got the biggest laughs out of me thus far, especially with the ball licking one. O h man....
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LMAO! Blonde jokes.... lol
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By juvenile jokes do you mean "for children" or just ones that are sophomoric, inappropriate to my grandmother's taste and immature?
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They were supposed to be ones which children could tell and appreciate, and could be told in church. I imagine there is potentially some overlap, and in other instances not. It has apparently taken on a life of its own, although most are still pretty juvenile.
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Adding to my Tarzan joke in the beginning of this thread...
Why did the elephant paint his balls purple? to hide in a plum tree
How did Tarzan die? Picking plums...-
Hahahaha Picking plums! I find that really funny!
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I overheard a friend telling his pal, "I can't break my wife of the
habit of staying up until 5 in the morning."
"What is she doing?", the pal asks.
"Waiting for me to get home."
How can you get four suits for a dollar? Buy a deck of cards.
Q: What do pilots eat? A: Plane biscuits.
I saw a sign in a public toilet the other day. It said 'Please leave this toilet in the condition that you would have liked to have found it in.' So I left it with a porn mag and a line of coke ...
Q: What is a baby's motto
A: If at first you don't succeed cry cry again!
- Jennifer, wanna go to my place?
- I am not Jennifer
- But I didn't ask about that...
Marriage is a three ring circus ... engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering ...
- How do two programmers make money?
- One writes viruses, the other anti-viruses
A very fat woman comes into a store and tells the clerk,
"I would like to see a bikini that fits me."
Clerk, "me too..."-
You've taken this to a whole new level. Oh man.
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Q: What's there in the middle of the "SEA" ?
A: "E".
I used to chase my sister everytime she make this joke to me when i was a kid. -
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What brand of coffee did they serve on the Titanic? Sanka.
What do you call 4 bullfighters at the bottom of the sea? Quatro sinko.
What's big, green, fuzzy & if it fell out of a tree it'd kill you? A pool table.
Is a fly without wings called a walk?
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
What if there were no rhetorical questions?
Knock knock
Who's there?
Amy Fischer
Amy F--
(interrupt loudly w/a gunshot noise) BLAM!!!-
These are all pretty good. The Amy Fisher one is a little cold.
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Where does a giant gorilla sit when his tree can't hold him?
Anywhere he wants, he's a giant gorilla!-
*LOL* That reminds me of another one...
What do you do when a rotweiller starts humping your leg? Let him finish. -
Hahahaha
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What's the difference between a pit bull & a Jewish mother? Eventually the pit bull lets go.
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OOOOOhhhh. Cold.
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Why did the chicken cross the road?
To prove to the opossum that it can be done! -
Since the joke range has expanded beyond juvenile:
A wife decides to take her husband to a strip club for his birthday. An unorthodox choice for sure, but she just thought that since he was finally 40 years old, she'd give him a special treat.
They arrive at the club and the doorman says, "Hey, Dave! How ya doin'?"
His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. "Oh, no," says Dave.
"He's on my bowling team." When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.
His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says,"How did she know that you drink Budweiser?"
"She's in the Ladies' Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them."
A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Dave, and says "Hi Davey. Want your usual table dance, big boy?"
Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her.
He tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it. She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every name in the book.
The cabbie turns his head and sarcastically says, "Looks like you picked up a real winner tonight, Dave." -
Do you ever wonder about the etymology of words? Take the word "dildo." The first thing that comes to mind is dill pickles and bread dough-- which might explain where yeast infections come from.
Note: If anyone wants to use this, please follow the rules set out by the creative commons license I publish everything through: creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/3.0/us/
The joke was originally posted here: www.kobrascorner.com/kobraquotes.php -
A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and talk turns to their adventures on the sea. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, a hook, and an eye patch.
The seaman asks, "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?"
The pirate replies, "We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off."
"Wow!" said the seaman. "What about your hook"?
"Well", replied the pirate, "We were boarding an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors with swords. One of the enemy cut my hand off."
"Incredible!" remarked the seaman. "How did you get the eye patch"? "A seagull dropping fell into my eye," replied the pirate.
"You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?," the sailor asked incredulously.
"Well," said the pirate, "It was my first day with my hook." -
Syawal: I still think that you get the prize.
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Whats green and red and goes a thousand miles an hour?
A frog in a blender -
The World's Shortest Fairy Tale
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?' The girl said, 'NO!' And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.
THE END -
A man and a woman a in bed together. The phone rings. The woman picks up the phone:
"Yes, darling," says she. "Don't worry, honey, I'll be OK."
She turns to her partner and says:
"It was my husband, he said he'll be late, because he will be playing poker with you."-
Great jokes guys. Looks like this one has taken on a life of its own. Thanks.
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How do you make a hankerchief dance?
You put a boogie in it.-
Definitely one for the kids.
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Happiness is the combination between good health and short memory.
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A duck walked into a drug store and said, "Give me some chapstick and put it on my bill." -
just raided a backpack and came up with this gem which isn't necessarily a joke, but well worth pondering......
If you really want your dreams to come true........ DON'T SLEEP!
It was on a Bazooka gum wrapper stashed deep in the messy abyss. -
hahaha very funny
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