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Sunday My Daughter was Sexually Abused

Posted by iriegal • 11/19/08 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: blog catalog, blogging, child abuse, megan's law, molestation

I know the only way for my healing to begin is to write about it. My heart is grieving so much. Sunday, someone thought to make sexual advances towards my Autistic Daughter. A young adult (27) who has the mentality of a 4 year old. Why, I am asking myself WHY did I bring this sick person in my life. I did not know he was a sex offender. I didn't know everyone I meet I have to check Megan's law. Now my precious daughter was violated. I am grieving right now. For my daughter and my loss in the ability to trust.

I wrote the perpetrator and open letter on my blog.

Please keep my family in your prayers.

ineedstimulation.blogspot.com/2008/11/open-letter-to-person-who-attempted-t...

User Comments

11/19/08

drjay1966

That's horrible.
My thoughts are with you....

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1. 11/19/08
  
  iriegal
  
  Thank you for your kind words
2. 11/19/08
  
  iriegal
  
  Mikodragonfly. Thank you, yes it was horrible. The police were notified immediately. He made bail the same night. I am a surviving.
3. 11/19/08
  
  iriegal
  
  Claudiorodval, By saying she has a Mentality of a 4 year old, that is her menatl diagonois by the health care physician. The is her highest understand level. She is 27 but is what is termed, "echolic." She would not understand what wws happening to her.
11/19/08

mikodragonfly

I'm so sorry to hear that. It's so horrible that we have to content with such lowlifes as that suspect in this day and age.

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11/19/08

claudiorodval

So sorry, when you say he has the mentality of a 4 year old... what do you mean? is it literally?

Anyway I am really sorry

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11/19/08

Sylvia

iriegal, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your daughter.

The video you created is beautiful, you made me cry, God Bless you.
I can relate to your struggles with your daughter, my step son has a PDD disorder, the world is a cruel place when so many people can be so heartless to harm children and steal their innocence.

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1. 11/19/08
  
  iriegal
  
  Sylvia thank you. This incident happend Sunday. I had him arrested and he made bail the same night. My daughter resides in a group home. She does not live with me. She was only visiting. I am writing because I guess this is one way I deal with what is happening now.
  
  I am just taking it one day at a time.
11/19/08

jonathanorbuda

oh my God

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11/19/08

dratiffarid

It's sad.
Really sorry to hear this.

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1. 11/19/08
  
  iriegal
  
  Thank you jonathan
11/19/08

pointlessbanter

Um how about calling the police and taking care of it legally instead of posting in a forum about it?

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1. 11/19/08
  
  iriegal
  
  Sigh...Pointless this incident occured Sunday. The police were immediately notified, the man was arrested. Their is a case number (would you like it?)
  I write because I am hurting. My child is safe. He was a registerd Sex offender who did not have an update on Megan's Law. He lives next to a school.
  
  My child was lucky. I fear for all the other children that walk or have walked by his house daily who were not as lucky. She has no one to advocate for her by my (her mom).
  
  Thank you for your concern...onelove..iriegal
11/19/08

footiam

Sorry to hear that. Be strong.

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1. 11/19/08
  
  iriegal
  
  Thank you footiam..
11/19/08

purelegalcomputing

very-very sorry to hear that
i don't think what we say here can ease you and your daughter suffering
but i'm sure God will make you both strong

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1. 11/19/08
  
  iriegal
  
  I created this because I thought maybe someone in the thread knew of an advocacy group or someone I could seek counsel from. Megan's Law did not protect my daughter. This man "paid" for his address not to be disclosed. I did not know you could do that.
  
  He lives near a school. He was arrested and made bail the same night. Because she is not able to testify, it is my word against his. I am glad my daughter was not aware of what was happening to her. I am hurting and I don't have any family in this country (aside from my other two kids)..so I turned to this forum hoping I could get some help
11/19/08

CrankyChick

I hope you would report this to the authorities and seek counseling for the victim

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1. 11/19/08
  
  iriegal
  
  He was arrested the same night. SHe is Autistic and does not understand what is going on...
11/19/08

acousticguitarist

I wish you all the best in your healing.

I have just published a new blog a half an hour ago about me being sexually abused when I was 11 years old. healingtreesformen.wordpress.com/
My journey is very different but I understand your suffering.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel and there will be great wisdom come from it. You are not alone and it's important to build a healing network of people around you that you can trust.

When it feels safe for you it may be worthwhile taking appropriate legal action, but as this can be a little unsettling emotionally get yourself into a balanced strong headspace first.

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1. 11/19/08
  
  iriegal
  
  Acoustic, I am a victim of the same circumstances. As a mother I feel I did not adequately protect my child. I have known this person for 3 years. This was not just someone who randomly stepped into my life.
  
  I grieve for my child because as person who has no cognitive understanding of the evil we have in society she doesn't know what was going on.
  
  He was on Megan's Law and I failed to run a check. I didn't think that everyone in my life I had to run a check on. I feel very lost
11/19/08

lotusb

I'm sorry you and your family are going through this. If I may speak candidly, this is a sad but common occurance, especially among those with mental or learning disabilities. My aunt, who has down syndrome, was sexually abused while in the care of a facility and had a child because of it who also has down syndrome. The occurance caused emotional trauma as well as financial burden on my family. I think anytimes something like this happend, those who are victemized have the oppertunity to speak out and let it be known to people so that it may not happen again. I'm glad you chose to write about this on your blog, please don't stop speaking out about sexual abuse. And yes, check the sex offender registry regularly, it's something that we should all do, you would be surprised who you might find there.

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1. 11/19/08
  
  iriegal
  
  My daughter is in a group home. She has been there for over 10 years and God is good no occurences of that has ever happened. The mentally disabled are easy targets for abuse. That is sad
11/19/08

ranist22

Sorry about this. I think counselling might help you also to express yourself, your anger and hurt. Good you wrote a post about it but please do seek professional help as well.

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11/19/08

ordinarywoman

As a retired police officer, please report this person to the authorities as soon as possible, otherwise its just carte blanche for them to keep doing it.
Nothing empowers a victim more than becoming stronger by bringing their violator to justice, Also there will be services available through the victim advocate that the courts will assign to you and your daughter. Our ability to trust is irrelevant to her being abused, these people are predators and they know how to work their victims, even police officers, rape investigators and so forth have had their children abused, that is why they need to be punished and given the confinement needed to keep society safe. Also the quicker you report it the better it will be for the investigation, collection of evidence and testimonies. The laws and punishments are stricter for predators who abuse victims with special needs regardless of their mental state. Good luck and I will pray for you and your daughter!

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11/19/08

voodooKobra

Get the police involved. Seriously.

Nobody deserves abuse.

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11/19/08

jafabrit

My heart goes out to you and your daughter, arg!!!!! what a horror.

As a victim of a pedophile I have to tell you though your letter is meaningless to the perp. They don't care what you think, what you feel, and the impact of what they did. The biggest impact is making them accountable by reporting them, and as ordinarywoman stated empowering yourself and getting support through a qualified organization such as RAINN
www.rainn.org/
They have a hotline, hope they can help support you through this difficult time.

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11/19/08

timethief

Please, please report this predator to the police so he does not victimize anyone else.

Edit: I see that you have posted above to say that this was reported. I'm so glad to hear that. I also read your post. IMO jafabrit is correct your open letter will have no effect on the perpetrator however, I assume writing it was cathartic for you. Best wishes to you and your daughter. I hope she recovers from this traumatic event completely and soon.

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11/20/08

LadyRoots

Sistren IrieGal,

My heart aches to hear about the filth that entered your daughter's life. I will be lifting her, you and your other children in prayer.

As a Mother and GrandMother, I know you feel intense guilt that it was a friend of yours who perpetrated this horror, but IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT! He chose his own actions, he chose to betray your trust, he chose to violate a child. I believe there is a special place in HELL for child molesters and Jah loves His children too much to let their tormentors spend eternity in peace.

You are so courageous to bring this into the public eye. Your daughter is blessed to have you as a loving advocate for her well being. Please know that you are being prayed for, loved and cherished from around the world.

Bless Up,
Lady Roots

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11/20/08

blackzero85

That's horrible. Make sure that damned zombie get nailed inside a prison for all eternity.

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11/20/08

Arcticulates

I am so sorry this has happened. It is not your fault, I know it is easy to say, yet hard to accept. You have stated that your daughter is mentally disabled... please know that there has been evidence that these special people know a lot more about what's going on then we think, but are unable to verbalize it. I know of what I am talking about I have been taking care of a lot of beautiful special people most my life.

I would highly recommend that you find some kind of counseling for her, because she will need it someone who can relate to a young mind.. I really dont' want to scare you but if she doesn't get this kind of help she may think what happened was okay, and let it happen again. Please find someone to help her and you. (((((hugs)))))

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11/20/08

agapelife

My prayers and healing energy are sent in your direction and join what jafabrit recommends.

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11/21/08

lnclark1950

Father, bring healing to this family and bless their relationships. Move the person who committed the crime to repent and take the consequences for their actions. Flood the young girl with Your Holy Spirit and remove any shame or guilt from her. Thank You for the openness and honesty that was posted and for the healing You will bring. amen

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11/21/08

roadgurl5

Am so sorry iriegal to hear of this awful thing that has happened to you and your daughter. I hope that writing about it brings you some peace.

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11/21/08

EnergyNoCrash

You're going to experience a whole range of emotions in the next few days, weeks, or months. Just understand it's normal and healthy to feel them.

Five Stages of Grief

Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance

I have daughters so I feel your pain.

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11/21/08

melindaville

Iriegal, my heart goes out to your daughter and your family. I know what that experience is like as I was sexually abused from the time I can remember until I was in adolescence. I have written about it in my blog (look for entries under the category, "healing the past" "healing" and sexual abuse" in case you are interested. (blog.melindaville.com)

I will also read your post.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

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11/21/08

carrieburrows

There are people who can help you.

www.rainn.org/

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11/21/08

namidani

fell sorry for your daughter. Have you called police? I hope that person send to jail and rape in there.

From my experience, it hard to tell you but i have to tell. Watch carefully
someone who close to us. Mostly our relatives and close friends.

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11/21/08

dratiffarid

I wrote a post on how to prevent child molestation.
dratiffarid.today.com

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11/21/08

klaraau01

My heart goes out to you and your child in this difficult time.

Love and blessings

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11/22/08

creemos

we share a common experience... I sent you a shore note!

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11/22/08

arilestariono

Better report to authorities and make your neighborhood aware of the situations that your family went through, it's a prevention action plan that you must take in order this incident doesn't happen again in your family

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