Discussions
The Fat vs. Skinny Debate
Posted by lotusb • 6/03/09 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: size, weight
Obviously a healthy diet and exersice routine is something everyone should have. Helps us live longer, have healthier babies, stronger hearts...etc...
However, there is a matter of preference. Some women PREFER to be a little more round. They like having extra, and their men like it. On the other hand, some women (me included)prefer to be thinner. They like to wear small sizes, and they life clothes to drape on them that way...etc.
Whenever I mention loosing weight, people tell me, "Your fine...your small". Of course, I know that I'm not obese, but whats wrong with my personal preference of being thin, not just "fine".
Do you think people should judge women's size preference? Do you think it's worse to be skinny or fat?
User Comments
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As long as you are healthy and happy I don't think it should really matter your size. People tell me all the time that I need to eat and that I am too skinny. Those are the people who don't know me because the one's who do know me know that I can eat more then some guys I know
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That's exactly what I mean...your naturally skinny or thin. And even if you weren't that way naturally... and just chose to be thin, shouldn't that be your choice?
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That should definitely be your choice.
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Um...wow. I mean there is a point where anyone who has taken their body to an extreme is disgusting. It depends on what your definition of "fat" is though.
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See, now you've already made someone feel bad today. Thanks. -
That is a mean thing to say. -
Disgusting is hate based on gender, sexual orientation, religion or lack thereof, race, and body type. (I'm sure I could add to the list.) Hate can lead to crime and it is just plain and simple ignorance.
If this statement were made of anyone else other than an over weight person it would have already been gone. -
Yes, you are right. I meant obesity, which means your body mass index is greater than 30. There's a world of a difference between being voluptuous and being obese. You may prefer being voluptuous, but you can't prefer being fat or obese. It's an eating disorder, like anorexia. You can't say you prefer being anorexic because if you are anorexic you need help. Just like when you are obese - you need help. -
Ok, Poodle. I understand what you mean and yes I agree. Obesity is an eating disorder and one that should be seen as equally damaging as anorexia... I think maybe your use of the term "disgusting" was a little abbrasive..
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The original question was:
Do you think people should judge women's size preference?
The answer to that question is yes, I think people should judge people's size. Not just a women's size preference, but men's size preference too. If you are obese, you are disgusting. It's not OK, you need to do something about it. Some things have a social stigma because they are bad for you as a person or bad for the group as a whole. If you can't take it when people say you are disgusting when you are fat, then clearly you aren't happy with being fat either. Do something about it! -
So the fact that regularly taking meth will make you stick-thin (much like heroin-chic in the 90s and coke-bod in the 80s) isn't disgusting? I think that judging people on their appearances is disgusting, as is making assumptions about their mental states and personal habits on that same basis. While I agree that morbidly obese people clearly have issues, I think that everyone does and that some people are lucky enough to not have their worn on their sleeves, so to speak.
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people can guess the fat and skinny -
I'm fat (there I said it) and although I hate it, I guess I just don't care anymore. Sure I am envious of the skinny girls and judge them, but I think far more fat people get judged than skinny ones. We are judged for being lazy and stupid. And I guess I am thinking 'bitch' when I see a skinny person. No, it's not right, it boils down to how we feel about ourselves. But judgment has always been there and always will.
Now, if I got to know you lotusb I would change my perception of you I'm sure ;-) Years ago when my daughter was a baby we joined a swimming class for infants. We met a young couple (we are older parents) and I immediately did not like the woman because she had a great figure and nice big boobs. We became very good friends and I told her what my first impression was of her. We had a great laugh.-
Yes, there is a lot of jugement, especially between women regarding body image. I have been guilty of judging larger women and thinking, "why dosen't she just loose weight?" when obviously if it were that easy for her or she wanted to, she would. I think it's important that we're happy with ourselves though. At whatever size, if you don't like your size, there are ways to work towards changing it.
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Kden, you have all my respect because you are honest with yourself.
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I don't prefer to be overweight, I just accept it as the reality of what happens when menopause hits, and a bad back limits the kind of exercise that can really burn calories.
I was always naturally slim until I hit 50, and despite a healthy diet and walking daily I ain't going to be a slip of a girl again. And no I don't envy skinny girls, and I don't pine about it, I am happy, healthy, and that is all that counts.
Not sure why other peoples' weight is of concern to others or instigates such visceral feelings in some.-
We all seem to have an idea of perfection in our minds that we compare others to, including ourselves. Sometimes, I think women force themselves to see themselves as the "ideal" and compare other women to their perception of what is right.
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I am naturally skinny and have a ridiculously high metabolism. I get nasty looks from the other mothers in my neighborhood constantly. I've been accused of not eating more than once. I wish people would look past appearances and get to know the actually person. As long as we are healthy, who really cares?-
My point exactly, Suzie... Why judge at all? I mean of course there is going to be concern when someone looks deathly skinny, like one of those Italian models that got banned from fashion week. And there is the other side, like the people who can't get out of bed because they eat so much and never move. Balence...BALENCE.
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I wish people would look past appearances and get to know the actually person. As long as we are healthy, who really cares?
I'm with both of you on this. Like Suzie I'm slender, I have a high metabolic rate, and I have never had an eating disorder, but have been accused many times of not eating when this was untrue.
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I loves the skinny.
Can't help my hyper metabolism, and wouldn't if I could. -
People should be and do whatever they please, and screw everybody who doesn't like it. -
What about those of us in between -- not fat, not skinny. I demand some kind of controversy for us!
And for all the health concerns of being fat or skinny, think about us poor people in between. In this increasingly violent world, we're in danger.
Skinny enough, and you make a difficult-to-hit target if someone shoots at you. Fat enough, and the bullet stops before reaching vital organs. Us middle people have no such defense. We get shot at, we die.
This is why we middle people always want skinny people to eat more, and fat people to diet. We need more middle people because we need more potential targets in our environment -- it's the herd-protection concept. More middle targets in general, the less in danger we are individually.-
[applauds]
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ME too - right in the middle.
Growing up modeling - SKINNNNNNNNY
Middle age - Had a baby and health issues - HEAVY to almost obese
Older age (still not telling how old) - Middle... Not overweight - but not skinny... In between. I'm a healthy rounded person - but not overly heavy... Like size 12 on BIG BONES - trust me - my hands are bigger than most men's.
But I'm not fat - I'm not skinny --- I'm in between.
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Honestly its a personal choice to be skinny, fat, in between...as long as your carry yourself with confidence!
If you either gain or loose weight make sure your body is healthy! -
I think you should be happy with the skin you're in, if not change it. The change should be based on your own feelings though not what someone else says/thinks is appropriate (unless said person is your primary care physcian and there is some health issue).
No one should be judged based on his/her body image but who he/she is as a person. Body image is so personal and very subjective. One person's fat is another person's skinny. Clearly you think you would benefit from losing a couple lbs so just ignore the comments from the peanut gallery and keep on doing what you're doing. -
I think slim figure is better as long as a person does not have an eating or body dysmorphic disorder. I like to be slim, personally because I feel and look better this way. I like voluptious women because some of them can look really beautiful, but this is not only about their figure, it's about self-confidence and sense of style. I certainly do not think that it's ok to be obese because it's just really bad for your health, both physical and mental. -
i am slim and i like it.. and its a choice -
I think it's clear what this guy chose:
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I think people react with "You're FINE" when someone says they want to lose weight because when you see a person with a great figure, in a healthy weight range, and hear them complain - you really just want to strangle them.
There are people on both sides of the weight issues with very real, very serious health and mental problems. Hearing a 5'6' woman with an athletic/healthy figure complain about her dress size is maddening.
Hearing a perfectly healthy woman consistently complain that she is "fat" is a warning sign of an eating disorder.
I think that if you are within a healthy weight range, tailoring your weight and look to your preference is fine. Just, honestly, let's not complain about it to others.-
as long as you're strong enough to hurl a good brick, right
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Well I don't see why not. Usually this comes up when people at work offer me cake and for the 5th time that week I have to explain that I'm watching my diet. Then I get the unwarranted critique... I'd love to keep it to myself, but unless your a shut in, your diet and eating habits tend to come up... at least in my life.
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I think there is a difference between explaining that you would like to maintain a healthy diet - or even casually commenting to a friend that your pants have gotten a little snug over the last few months and so you're being a bit more careful...and the type of comments I usually encounter, which is a somewhat consistent grab for attention by explaining, yet again, that you feel you need to lose yet more weight.
The first kind of encounter is casual, not often, or at least solicited as a form of an explanation and the second one is really just annoying.
Perhaps instead of saying you're "watching your diet" or your figure or weight, you might just want to say "I am trying to eat healthy". Or even the old standby "I'm trying to quit" with a little smile. Most people understand when a person is trying to "eat healthy" because it encompasses a lot more than just weight. But as soon as the word diet, figure, or weight comes up, they can only imagine that you are trying to lose pounds, rather than maintain your healthy weight or healthy lifestyle.
it's semantical, but it is how people think. -
@Anok
Absolutely...I totally agree. Those people who drone on and on about how they wish they were smaller are irritating. I always tell them they could loose tons of weight if they spent half as much time in the gym as they do talking about how fat they are...never well-received. -
LOL I wouldn't think it was well received 'specially since it's a an intentional opening for a compliment about how good they look
I think society has become so obsessed over weight and appearances that everyone is now hypersensitive about any comments that could indicate an insult, or an eating disorder. I mean, when you hear a beer swilling punk rocker with tattoos and piercings complain about his weight you're like "I'm sorry, but did you just say you feel bloated?! Really? DId you get your period or something?" LOL. -
@lotus
just refer them to the Centers for Disease Control website
www.cdc.gov/obesity/causes/health.html
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skinny is more socially acceptable period. what you choose to do w/that knowledge is totally up to each individual woman....personally i prefer to be on the thinner side (you can never be too rich or too thin, right?) -
To answer your question though (which I forgot to do) - I have always been heavy according to the scales. I've rarely been "fat" just heavy in pounds because I weight lift and am very muscular. I prefer to be like this (and don't know that it would be healthy to change it even if I could) - but I too, have a "weight/size limit" that I try very hard not to cross.
I just only discuss it with close family members once in a while, or if I'm really feeling like I've gained too much weight, and need to lose the pounds. -
My personal preference is not being thin. I don't look very good being thin and lucky for me my body is not naturally inclined to be thin, but neither am I large. I eat reasonably well most of the time and I do a lot of weight and endurance training during peak season and a bit less in the off season - I'm not a saint!
I have been told that I am fat when out with some friends that are the absolute personification of diminutive and petite. Obviously I am a bit larger than they are and I resent feeling like I have to defend myself to people who know nothing about me. -
well i hate to be politically incorrect but I've always loved skinny women
oh... and no make up, as you know already-
Yes, and no clothes either.
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Personally I think when you tell people you are losing weight, you are inviting them to comment on the matter whether you like it or not. Just because you chose to lose weight and like the way that feels for you, doesn't mean everyone is going to agree with you.
Do you think people should judge women's size preference? No I don't think they should, but people will carry on regardless.
Do you think it's worse to be skinny or fat? Why worse for either term?
It depends on the individual person, I don't actually like the term skinny, I think it implies someone is skin and bones, instead of slim.
Just as being overweight has its problems, so does being underweight. -
I'm a pretty inclusive pervert. I find some really attractive things about women who are really skinny (not concentration camp skinny but really thin). I find some really attractive things about women who carry some extra weight and all of those women in between. -
In a perfect world people would be judged for the beauty inside that they bring to their outsides...But, a lot of pressure put on women from media, men (sorry guys) and themselves to be a prize, so their men can say, see what i have? So, it's something I think is a personal preference if you are happy with yourself, there are also beautiful curvy women who are perfect the way they are. i myself am blessed with a high metab even at 46, so i'm used to being thin and like it that way. -
fat women do have attractive.. some men just dont care how a woman look, as long as heart as white as a something whitr... i'm suck in phrase -
It all comes down to how comfortable you are in your skin. Most of the time personal preferences are influenced by what's hot in Hollywood. I think people should keep their opinions on weight to themselves unless they are asked to speak on it.
"I think you would look great if you..." is unnecessary conversation and could fetch a slap under the wrong circumstances. I've been a witness
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