User Comments

1. 

   9/30/09

   MzMore

   If I had to pick only one, it would be to be trusted. If people trust you, the other 3 can follow. That is the only explanation I can come up w/ now. I'll think about it some more.

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   1. 

      9/30/09

      theAWWWBUTmum

      I actually get where you are coming from - any relationship that is built on trust will have the other traits follow - a great point - trust has seen the breakdown of many marriages/relationships - we often hear that without trust there is nothing..so I get you MzMore!
2. 

   9/30/09

   amybyrd21

   Loved that would definetly be it.No one understands me, i will always be needed even if they dont think I will, and trust comes and goes depending on what it is about.

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3. 

   9/30/09

   jeremyjanson

   To be loved for sure. Second place would be "to be needed." To be understood isn't important at all, and not being trusted is more frustrating then anything else and you can eventually adapt to it.

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   1. 

      9/30/09

      ophie

      IMHO, to be understood is more important
      love without understanding is blind, it wont last long. and how come you'll be needed or trusted if people didnt understand you?
      if you understand me you'll definitely love me, need me, and trust me ;p
4. 

   9/30/09

   owlbarn

   If I have to choose only one then I'll pick LoVe. If someone loves you that means that person understands you, trusts you and can be trusted in return.

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5. 

   9/30/09

   dbowles1017

   Food, water, sex, shelter. None of what you said is 'needed'

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6. 

   9/30/09

   TonyB

   humans really have more than 4 needs.
   
   1. Need for Certainty - ie. food, shelter, etc.
   2. Uncertainty - we need variety in our lives and challenges
   3. Significance - we all have a need to some degree or other to feel significant
   4. Connection or Love - we have a need for connection
   5. Growth - we all have a need to grow
   6. Contribution - we all have a need to contribute
   
   These needs can be met in either positive or negative ways though we each meet them in one way or another.

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   1. 

      9/30/09

      timethief

      Great list! May I piggyback onto it please?
      
      7. Touch - Humans need to touch and be touched, just like we need food and water. The connection between touch and well being is far more than skin deep. From the moment of birth our tactile sense is being stimulated. Pushed out, picked up, and slapped on the bottom, we are placed at our mother's breast, and a bonding process begins.
      
      Much of how we function as adults, depends on how we were nurtured during infancy. We have all experienced moments when the touch of a hand on our shoulder or a reassuring hug was all that was needed to reduce our fear, anxiety, or loneliness. Touching is an act of love, a way of communicating without words. Touching can reassure us, relax us, comfort us, or arouse us, like nothing else.
      
      In a way, the importance of touch is so basic that we tend to take it for granted, just as we do breathing. The need for bonding, or close physical contact with another human being, remains with us throughout our lifetime.
      www.tuberose.com/About_us.html
7. 

   9/30/09

   theAWWWBUTmum

   Thanks for all the feedback - loving your points TonyB - wish I knew where the orignal four needs came from - there was no name attached, your points are brilliant.

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   1. 

      9/30/09

      theAWWWBUTmum

      Great Piggyback Timethief - touch brings security - I am with you - I thought this may bring out some brilliance and I am not disappointed at all!
8. 

   9/30/09

   MzMore

   Interesting discussion... I guess it all depends on the individual... I am still sticking with my original answer though for the original needs stated

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9. 

   9/30/09

   TonyB

   still need certainty .... such as food, shelter etc.
   and once you have certainty....we have a need for variety.... or uncertainty
   everyone has some degree of needing to feel significant.
   connection comes with trust...
   growth...if you aren't growing you're dying...there no real plateau in life when it comes to our lives
   contribution... we all have a need to contribute...because if we don't contribute somehow we never feel fulfilled
   
   this comes from needs psychology.... we all need to meet each of these needs and will do whatever we can do to this..... typically the difference is the value we place on each one.....
   
   according to proponents of needs psychology.... you should be in a relationship with someone whose top 2 needs meet your top 2 needs

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10. 

    9/30/09

    dfunzy

    I think John Lennon said it best: "All you need is love. Love! Love! Love is all you need."
    With love everything else that i good will follow.

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    1. 

       9/30/09

       TonyB

       how do we get human beings to recognize this?
11. 

    9/30/09

    lnclark1950

    To be loved is the key to the other three having any meaning. I have felt needed, trusted and understood but when I did not feel loved when I had those others I felt empty. If one feels loved they can thrive even when not needed, trusted or understood. The world is full of needed, trusted and understood failures who never experienced love. There needs to be more people who know they are loved and there would be less hatred and violence. I believe that is what God wanted the world to know when He came as Jesus to eatth.

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    1. 

       9/30/09

       TonyB

       Isn't making a contribution where you really get a feeling of gratitude and that your life is well lived? I've heard and believe that love is really what we give more that what we "receive".
12. 

    9/30/09

    ToughCookieMommy

    I think I need to be understood. The other three cannot happen if nobody understands you. The second one would probably be needed just because it is nice to be needed.

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13. 

    10/01/09

    Arcticulates

    We need something to adore!

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