Discussions
The pain of loving
Posted by anicha250 • 12/19/08 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: is it worth it, the pain in loving, why love hurt
Why does love hurt so bad?
Why is the pain so strong as if you are going to die?
Should you keep loving someone who hurts your heart? What if they claim to love you?
Can love be selfish sometime or is it always considerate?
Would you love even if it might hurt?
A-C
User Comments
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The greatest example of love is found in the Bible. I believe God created humans and even after all the wars and hurt we have caused each other He still loves us.
When we love someone else we take a risk but that risk is far better than keeping our love to ourselves. All of your questions are ones everyone who has loved have asked. The answer for each is not the same for each of us.
The one I want to focus on is "Why is the pain so strong as if you are going to die?"
If we did not feel pain when someone hurt us we would not feel pain when we hurt someone else. The pain we feel is something God placed in us so that we would know how others feel when we hurt them. When we love someone we invest part of ourselves in them and if they hurt us that part we have invested is torn. Just like tearing a muscle it hurts but it can be healed as well.
Keep loving and when hurt forgive. Please visit my blog for ideas about forgiveness. -
More Lubrication, that's the key. -
LOL...
It is the duality of life! -
There are those times when it does hurt. it hurts so badly because your putting your heart on the line. they could either make it....or break it, but you always jave to take that chance.
I think that love is one of the most powerful emotions one can experience, so it's exected to hurt because of the great importance it has to our lives. Love involves a knitting together of two hearts ir souls and when it breaks it involves a tearing of that.
Love should never hurt. your words, your actions, your doubt's, insecurities, not wanting to really hear someone, respect someone, etc etc.. is what HURTS the other person and therefore, hurts the relationship. If grace isn't shown toward each other, forgiving wrongs, giving chances ... there is no mending. The sorrow, hardness of heart we hold onto just never mends. Sometimes one has to just walk away and let go in order for our own heart to mend. -
Of course, I will still fall in love! Life is ironic! You'll never appreciate life if you don't love and get hurt! -
Of course, I will still fall in love! Life is ironic! You'll never appreciate life if you don't love and get hurt!
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i agree wid anicha -
Love is an action word in my opinion. There are many people who use the word but have no idea what it is. They substitute the word for feelings like need, want, desire. I can't count the times people have hurt me and excused it with something like "I did it for your own good, because I love you." Or "If I didn't love you so much..."
Real love can hurt sometimes, life hurts sometimes, as when my second husband died. It hurt horribly, but not like I would die. And five years later he is the joy of my life. I would not have missed it for the world, though we were only married for twelve days.
But for thirty years I was in and out of "love" that made me crazy and want to die because it twisted me up inside.
If not for Pete I would not have understood there is real love in the world.
If that ever presented itself in my life again, I would love again. But never will I fall for the kind of love that made me want to die it hurt so bad.
My best to you, -
Love should not hurt. What hurts is our attachment and wrong viewing and selfishness.... -
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You guys have good things to say about love. I guess we all love differently but we do. Love is an ability that all humans don’t have and it is rare to meet people who understand the real meaning of it. It is a chance that we take; hoping that we don’t get rejected by the chosen one. Taking a chance to love is taking the risk to be hurt but as painful as it can be, finding the right person worth every tear ever cried. I just hate the pain and every time I get hurt, I tell myself that God has something better in store for me. It helps but it still hurt unless I forgive the person who hurt me. I can’t even say that I am going to try to choose who to love because it doesn’t work like that. Some of friends tell me to stop given a 100%. I don’t know how to love half way. I can’t even understand that. You love someone or you don’t love them. Maybe I have to accept the fact that until I find the one I might get hurt again. Thanks everyone for the sweet advises. I mean the true advises lol
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I would say that love is overrated, why put your heart out there if it's only going to get bruised?-
Exactly. -
If you do, you're a fool.
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But when it is good, it's good.
That's a part of any risk we take. We all want love and to truly find love we have to make ourselves vulnerable.-
Yeah well it takes up so much energy if it's just going to be for nothing, I don't want to take the risk again, you're lucky you have a positive outlook on it, someone should.
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It seems like it's worth it when it's happening.
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@ekim941
We all want love and to truly find love we have to make ourselves vulnerable.
Agreed ♥ don't come easy to those who surround their hearts with walls.
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Love is divine, love is joy, love is happiness, love is pain too if you choose the wrong one. Love means you can never hate, whatever mistakes or defects your partner may have.Love means no calculations. It will be wonderful if both live this way. Good matter to discuss, hehehe. -
I relate to what vijayanths has written..
I think for myself after a bad marriage--I now fear marriage, so keep myself away from meeting anyone..
Love is pain if choice the wrong one.
so how do we know if he/she is right one.. -
Songinwind2009,
My grandmother has always encouraged me to love. After 3 marriages she decides to raise her 6 kids on her own. It is a different culture in those days it was hard on her. She stopped dating when my mother was about 10. Her last husband passed and she always tells me how much he loved her and took good care of her. She told me once that: “a man is like a peanut in a shell; there is no way to know if it good from the outside. You have to break the shell and then try it.”
I hope that my translation from my dialect to English makes sense. Anyway you can not stop trying. She always tells me not to end up like her. To take a chance in loving because growing old alone is miserable. Good luck. Pray God to send you the one he made for you. We all have that one side of us somewhere. -
I Hate Being In Lov.I Hate That Overwhelming Feeling Of Being Lost In Another Person,A Person Who Is Really A Stranger That U Have Invited Into Ur Life.I Hate Feeling Helpless, Subservient, Wistful, n All So Emotional
What's So Great About Lov?A Complete Stranger Comes Into ur Life n Turns Everything Upside Down.They Listen 2ur Favorite Cds,Eat ur Favorite Food, Then Sleep On ur Half Of The Bed. N They Lie!
I Advocate That We Toss Out This Lov Thing N Just Start Liking People.When U Like Someone,You're Still Free To Like Lots Of Other People At The Same Time. Try That With Love!You're Not Wrapped Up With Syrupy Feelings, n There's No Obligation To Continue Liking Someone Forever.U Can Lie 2 Someone U Like N Not Feel Guilty. They Might Resent u Now, But They'll Still Like u Later..Its Love That Gives u All The Headaches Thats Why... I hate Love-
except for the fact that you can't choose who you love.
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A man is innocent until proven broke. No amount of love can bail him out.-
I always ALMOST understand what you mean Jack.
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This reminds me of my favorite line from my favorite Velvet Underground song:
"taste the whip, in love not given lightly"-
I'm offended by that, by the way....
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you offended me whith that too.
the absurdity! -
drjay check this out tinyurl.com/8b8ktk
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I think loving someone is so individual to each person. Our perceptions about how we are loved, or not, are all different. So, maybe you have to have enough desire to WANT to learn how a person wants or needs to be loved. It's not easy and it's not usually automatic... because people are very different at the core. But it all comes down to worth. And to some, while they may think they love someone, it comes down to what the trials and errors are worth to them. They can love... just not enough. The more love felt, the more worth involved.
And for this same reason, we have to be forgiving of the errors because we are no more perfect at the art of loving than another. SOMETIMES... the most painful results are because we EXPECT perfection. But I do believe that if it is worth it, through all the pain, if both parties are still wanting to be in it, in the end it can be damn near perfection. But people expect it to be too easy and don't want to put the work out.
Now- I know some of you may be thinking 'Love should not be WORK'. Maybe it's not necessary if you are the lucky few. But regardless, if the love is worth it... by all means don't be afraid to WORK at it.
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