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What do you know about Relationships?
Posted by lotusb • 12/02/08 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: advice, relationships
Please share that which you have learned in your little or lots of experiance with relationships for all to benefit from...
What I've learned:
-How well you know yourself has a direct connection with how happy you'll be in a relationship (or life in general)
-The closest you can get to changing a man that dosen't treat you right is to let him experiance loosing you. Note: You are rarely the beneficiary of this method.
-Get yourself right. There will be less to argue about when you become a "we".
User Comments
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I've found out:
- Nice guys do finish last.
- Douches get all the chicks.
- Nice girls cheat. Alot.
- Never date a religious person. -
My top 5 relationship tips (Ladies please do not read):
1/ When she asks you if her new top/pants makes her look fat, make a puzzled face and say "If anything it makes you look too thin."
2/ Buy a dog, even if you hate dogs. They are the perfect excuse to nip out for a couple of pints in the evening.
3/Once every couple of weeks appear home with flowers/chocs for no reason, it's a cheap way to keep her quiet for a couple of weeks.
4/If you are out in the summer and enjoy watching the girls in their short skirts and crop tops, invest in dark shades.
5/Never slap her arse in public (they don't like that) -
Any expectations above reasonable ones for respect and mutual honesty are too many expectations.
You cannot change a person.
The sex can and will get old and stale for a while - deal with it.
Maintain yourself. You don't have to be high maintenance, but at least be clean.
Continue to "date" long after the relationship has passed into the uber serious stage.
Don't take anything for granted.
For men, don't try and be sexy act - it makes us women feel uncomfortable. Just be you. And don't get all mushy and codependent either. Nothing says "run!" like a clingy mama's boy.
For women, don't be high maintenance. Play with the boys and learn their trade. You'll keep the sex sexy and you'll be able to change your own oil. Don't get stupid possessive, either. Nothing says "psycho!" like a control freak maniac with a serious issue against all hobbies previously enjoyed by their mate. -
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What I have learned:
You will NEVER change a man or a woman for that matter .........love them for what they are..and if you cannot, then they are not the one!
You need a friend first.......
all the rest is great but after a crap day, a mate is the best
Listen to ANOK above, pretty cool reasoning
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There's always this: www.xkcd.com/303/
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I've been married 4 yrs on the 12th of dec.
1. don't sweat the small stuff. sure he left the toilet seat up but he's not cheating.
2. communicate in a way that benefits the relationship and builds intimacy. ( no name calling, cutting each other off, yelling, telling others about your conversations, cutting one another down in public )
3. if you both want to get married to one another... get married. all the "dating" insecurity goes away and you can get down to the buisness of life instead of ( is he sleeping around, did he check out that other chick, does he really like me, why didn't he return my phone call,etc etc etc. )
4. dating sucks, marriage sucks, abstinance sucks, everything in life sucks... just in differnt ways so do you want to be alone or with someone. answer that question and go on about your day.
5. be transparent about what you want from a relationship, first with yourself and then with the other person and go from there. -
there are no rules. what works for some will not work for others. some people are meant to be together, some people are just settling for the closest thing to love they can find. no matter how damaged you may be, there's always a chance that someone out there may love you for something you don't even know you have.
like a million dollars you unknowingly inherited and that they will summarily kill you for. damn it. -
Don't give up on him.
Believe in him.
Push him when he doesn't believe in himself but you do.
Communicate, it's important.
Lies hurt relationships.
The single most important thing I advise is to love him.
Leave the light on in the bathroom to keep from falling in.
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You can't change someone.
You will always find issues in a relationship...its up to you how you deal with them.
Love means accepting what you can't control (the other person) and having the courage to change what you can (yourself).
Love is not a fairytale.....we all have warts and occasional gas -
We are all mirrors of each other ... we can easily see in others our best qualities and our worst demons .. we just have to look for ourselves through others and not loose ourselves in whatever they are or want us to be. We are here to change and love ourselves and only after we have done that we can have healthy relationships ...
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i have been with the same girl for the last 13 years... if there is anything that i have learned...when you know someone, youknow what makes them tick. The stuff that makes them upset, mad, sad or worried...dont do that.
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Becoming a "we" is a great goal to have. Unfortunately some people feel they are being wiped out if they have to give up the "I" - they want the other person to become part of them and that creates a big mess.
The art of being a "we" is to allow enough space for your partner to have their own thoughts and feelings without feeling threatened if they don't match yours.
There are ten mistakes couples should avoid if they want their relationships to last. You can find that information on wwwcouplesspeakdecoded.blogspot.com/ -
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I learned...
It was the best of times...the worst of times..and the most fun and interesting of times:) -
you should give each other space from the beginning. don't spend every waking moment with each other, spend time with friends and doing other things.
make sure you communicate anything that really bothers you. something will always bother you about everyone because no one is exactly alike, but if it is a make it or break it thing, talk it over
trust! make sure you give reasons to be trusted, and trust the other person unless you have a real reason not to -
I learned a lot throughout my lifetime. But that doesn't mean I know everything. I think that I still have so much more to learn and offer. Love is like a never ending lesson. You just have to teach yourself and teach your partner and they will do the same for you too. just have fun and remember that life is way too short to hold on grudges
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This has probably already been said...
A good relationship with yourself= good relationships with others.-
what about this equation
women = money x time
since time = money, then
women = (money)squared
since money = the root of evil, then
women = (the root of evil)squared
thus
women = evil
totally kidding though, I love women. As the Beastie Boys said:
"To all the mothers and the sisters and the wives and friends
I wanna offer my love and respect to the end."
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