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What do you know about Relationships?
Posted by lotusb • 12/02/08 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: advice, relationships
Please share that which you have learned in your little or lots of experiance with relationships for all to benefit from...
What I've learned:
-How well you know yourself has a direct connection with how happy you'll be in a relationship (or life in general)
-The closest you can get to changing a man that dosen't treat you right is to let him experiance loosing you. Note: You are rarely the beneficiary of this method.
-Get yourself right. There will be less to argue about when you become a "we".
User Comments
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some of the things that i've learnt....
: you always shouldnt be truthful. sometimes truth causes disasters.
: you shouldnt share everything. keeping a little secret is healthy. -
Nothing.-
Jack - Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what to expect.
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Just be yourself and never lie is the most important lesson I learned from my relationships.
Lots more like never keep a girl waiting, girls like to be surprised etc etc! -
I've found out:
- Nice guys do finish last.
- Douches get all the chicks.
- Nice girls cheat. Alot.
- Never date a religious person.-
lol....then how can they be "NICE girls"???
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Well, nice at first at least. When I try to figure out relationships, the following this happens to me:
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Well, any guy who finishes before a women certainly isn't nice or worth keeping around at all.
Oh, that's not what you meant? What?
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My top 5 relationship tips (Ladies please do not read):
1/ When she asks you if her new top/pants makes her look fat, make a puzzled face and say "If anything it makes you look too thin."
2/ Buy a dog, even if you hate dogs. They are the perfect excuse to nip out for a couple of pints in the evening.
3/Once every couple of weeks appear home with flowers/chocs for no reason, it's a cheap way to keep her quiet for a couple of weeks.
4/If you are out in the summer and enjoy watching the girls in their short skirts and crop tops, invest in dark shades.
5/Never slap her arse in public (they don't like that)-
#1. When she asks, "Do these pants make my butt look big"
Do NOT reply, "No. the fourth trip through the buffet line made your butt look big".
Turns out that women don't ALWAYS enjoy honesty. -
They don't like it if you call them Titsy Mcarsecandy either.
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But I like being called Busty McCleavage.
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Hootie McBoob it is! -
juggsy mcroundheels?
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any relaion must have things understanding, cooperation, support , love and faith. important aspect . -
Any expectations above reasonable ones for respect and mutual honesty are too many expectations.
You cannot change a person.
The sex can and will get old and stale for a while - deal with it.
Maintain yourself. You don't have to be high maintenance, but at least be clean.
Continue to "date" long after the relationship has passed into the uber serious stage.
Don't take anything for granted.
For men, don't try and be sexy act - it makes us women feel uncomfortable. Just be you. And don't get all mushy and codependent either. Nothing says "run!" like a clingy mama's boy.
For women, don't be high maintenance. Play with the boys and learn their trade. You'll keep the sex sexy and you'll be able to change your own oil. Don't get stupid possessive, either. Nothing says "psycho!" like a control freak maniac with a serious issue against all hobbies previously enjoyed by their mate.-
*dont take anything for granted* check
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Criticism is wasted time and will ruin your relationship. Remind them why you love them.-
Sometimes it's hard to remind a man why you love him if he hasn't brushed his teeth in a week. -
LOL *snort*
you got that right! Hence my suggestion of at least being clean to maintain a relationship -
YIKES! buy him a brush, and a gallon of mouthwash, shivver!
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What I have learned:
You will NEVER change a man or a woman for that matter .........love them for what they are..and if you cannot, then they are not the one!
You need a friend first.......
all the rest is great but after a crap day, a mate is the best
Listen to ANOK above, pretty cool reasoning -
Yup, Mr Anok and I were friends for more than a decade before we even dated.
it makes it so much easier when you can relate to them on that level - because sometimes "romance" just doesn't cut it, and you need the brutal (but loving) honesty of a friend.
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Don't expect someone else to entertain you
Don't expect someone else to fulfill you-
Exactly.
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Relationships involve people, and are therefore undesirable.
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Pffft you know if some cute girl with a class load that included engineering physics, calc 3, and philosophy and penchant for sword fighting, computers, and motorcycles you'd be done.
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Yeah, you're probably right. Especially if sword-fighting, computers, and motorcycles weren't mutually exclusive.
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I'm still rolling around in my head an all inclusive motorcycleswordfight in/on or while playing a video game.
It hurts... -
There's always this: www.xkcd.com/303/
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Compiling!!
I'm so gonna use that whenever I can now.
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While the code is compiling, we could reenact the FF7 motorcycle sword minigame. Or joust.
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I've been married 4 yrs on the 12th of dec.
1. don't sweat the small stuff. sure he left the toilet seat up but he's not cheating.
2. communicate in a way that benefits the relationship and builds intimacy. ( no name calling, cutting each other off, yelling, telling others about your conversations, cutting one another down in public )
3. if you both want to get married to one another... get married. all the "dating" insecurity goes away and you can get down to the buisness of life instead of ( is he sleeping around, did he check out that other chick, does he really like me, why didn't he return my phone call,etc etc etc. )
4. dating sucks, marriage sucks, abstinance sucks, everything in life sucks... just in differnt ways so do you want to be alone or with someone. answer that question and go on about your day.
5. be transparent about what you want from a relationship, first with yourself and then with the other person and go from there.-
@vfosdal
Well said.
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there are no rules. what works for some will not work for others. some people are meant to be together, some people are just settling for the closest thing to love they can find. no matter how damaged you may be, there's always a chance that someone out there may love you for something you don't even know you have.
like a million dollars you unknowingly inherited and that they will summarily kill you for. damn it. -
Don't give up on him.
Believe in him.
Push him when he doesn't believe in himself but you do.
Communicate, it's important.
Lies hurt relationships.
The single most important thing I advise is to love him.
Leave the light on in the bathroom to keep from falling in. -
LOL!
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Leave the light on in the bathroom to keep from falling in. lol
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The best lover is an innocent one. -
You can't change someone.
You will always find issues in a relationship...its up to you how you deal with them.
Love means accepting what you can't control (the other person) and having the courage to change what you can (yourself).
Love is not a fairytale.....we all have warts and occasional gas-
um, i have constant gas. and huge warts.
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We are all mirrors of each other ... we can easily see in others our best qualities and our worst demons .. we just have to look for ourselves through others and not loose ourselves in whatever they are or want us to be. We are here to change and love ourselves and only after we have done that we can have healthy relationships ...-
Well said.
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Keep it honest and learn how to compromise. -
i meet the click girl -
i have been with the same girl for the last 13 years... if there is anything that i have learned...when you know someone, youknow what makes them tick. The stuff that makes them upset, mad, sad or worried...dont do that.-
wise man
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Listen, listen and listen again. -
Appear to be open and interested and if you bought me anything without a reason I would buy some spyware. -
to respect each other's authonomy and more to be found in my audio book: Couple's Communication Made Easy on Amazon -
Becoming a "we" is a great goal to have. Unfortunately some people feel they are being wiped out if they have to give up the "I" - they want the other person to become part of them and that creates a big mess.
The art of being a "we" is to allow enough space for your partner to have their own thoughts and feelings without feeling threatened if they don't match yours.
There are ten mistakes couples should avoid if they want their relationships to last. You can find that information on wwwcouplesspeakdecoded.blogspot.com/ -
I believe that if a guy is really interested in a girl then he will make the effort to be with her
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I agree, and I have yet to experience that.
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You can insist on being right or you can be happy but you can seldom be both. -
sometimes it's okay to give in when the issue seems to mean more to your partner than it does to you...
what you don't say may be more important than what you do say
(of course I shouldn't be giving advice on this) -
nobody is identical to anyone, nobody is perfect... if you know this, you know everything... well, my girlfriend says I know nothing though :-P -
Marry your soulmate and best friend
Always communicate
Don't go to sleep fighting -
I learned...
It was the best of times...the worst of times..and the most fun and interesting of times:)-
best and worst about wraps it up
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you should give each other space from the beginning. don't spend every waking moment with each other, spend time with friends and doing other things.
make sure you communicate anything that really bothers you. something will always bother you about everyone because no one is exactly alike, but if it is a make it or break it thing, talk it over
trust! make sure you give reasons to be trusted, and trust the other person unless you have a real reason not to -
I learned a lot throughout my lifetime. But that doesn't mean I know everything. I think that I still have so much more to learn and offer. Love is like a never ending lesson. You just have to teach yourself and teach your partner and they will do the same for you too. just have fun and remember that life is way too short to hold on grudges -
I know that whatever I .know or will know will never be enough -
When you love somebody, let them be who they are. And if things fall apart, be there to pick up the pieces. -
- foundations of a healthy relationship: trust and respect
- to keep a relationship happy, keep the fights clean and the sexy dirty
- compromise is a must -
This has probably already been said...
A good relationship with yourself= good relationships with others.-
what about this equation
women = money x time
since time = money, then
women = (money)squared
since money = the root of evil, then
women = (the root of evil)squared
thus
women = evil
totally kidding though, I love women. As the Beastie Boys said:
"To all the mothers and the sisters and the wives and friends
I wanna offer my love and respect to the end."
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I've learned that I suck at them, does that count?
- Long distance relationships never work out
- The simple things always cause the biggest arguments
- ALWAYS expect that your partners is thinking about something completely different than you are -
only that I have been in one for over eight years now -
A woman gets with a man for who he will be and tries to change him. A man gets with a woman for who she is now and then she changes. -
there's nothing wrong with saying "I'm sorry, I was wrong"
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im not advertising, but i just literally like 2 minutes ago wrote my first blog on "romance"
basically how to me it's mythical to me,as i've never really experienced it -
Not enough
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